10 password memes and jokes (part 2)

Regular readers of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog may remember that this week sees the celebration of World Password Day.

Snow White and the Five Dwarves,
due to the fact that AI image generators can't count.

It seems weird to dedicate a day to celebrating passwords, but who am I to blow against the wind, so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog once again rounds up another collection of password themed jokes and memes...

1) My computer told me my password needed to be eight characters long.

So I went with 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.




2) Set your wifi password to "Itsonthefridge".

Then when people ask what it is, and you tell them, they'll go to the fridge, look all over for it and wonder where it is.

Captcha memes and jokes (part 2)

If any robots happen to be reading this, then I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Unfortunately, you won't be able to read this week's blog post, as it features several captchas.

The good news for any humans reading this, however, is that you won't have to waste time filling out annoying captcha tests, because the captchas featured below are all just silly memes!

1) Star Wars captcha

The Cantina in Star Wars had a 'No Droids' policy, so this next captcha would have been perfect for them.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for."

Christmas memes and jokes

It's less than a week until Christmas, so can you guess what this week's blog post theme is about?

Yes, that's right! Christmas! Great guess!*

* If you guessed wrong, then please ignore the above congratulatory message.

Anyway, here are a few memes and jokes on the theme of Christmas.

1) Imagine if you lived at number 5 in this street. Imagine how awkward it would be trying to book a taxi near Christmas time.

5 Gold Rings.
A great address for fans of Christmas, but not so great for anyone trying to book a taxi.

Taxi driver: "Where to?"
Passenger: "Five Gold Rings, please."
Taxi driver: "No, seriously. Where do you want to go?"
Passenger: "Five Gold Rings."
Taxi driver: "Right! That's it! If you're not going to be serious, then get out!"

Captcha memes and jokes

One thing I find annoying about the internet is having to fill out captchas to prove I'm not a robot.

However, the good news is that although this week's blog post features several captchas, you won't have to fill any of them out, because the captchas below aren't real captchas. They're just silly memes!

1) Bugs captcha

At first glance, any insect experts reading this* may think that the following captcha is right up their street. However, closer inspection reveals that the captcha is targeted more towards computer programmers, rather than entomologists.

* Of which I'm sure there are many.

"Select all squares with bugs."

Library humour

Libraries have a reputation for being somewhere where you can read books. Deservedly so, some would argue.

However, libraries can also be a source of humour, as the following memes demonstrate...

1) Mystery humour

To start things off, here's a book category which does exactly what it says on the tin.

Credit: imgur

Mystery by name...

...mystery by nature!

10 password memes and jokes

You probably think I'm making this up, but the first Thursday every May is World Password Day! So in honour of World Password Day, here are a few jokes and memes on the theme of passwords and internet security...

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog
celebrates World Password Day.

1) Here's a conversation* I had with the priest when I was at a funeral the other week...

Me: "Can you tell me the wifi password please?"
Priest: "Have some respect for the dead!"
Me: "Is that all lower case?"

* Not really. That was just a made up fictitious claim to lead into the joke.




2) Change your wifi password to '2444666668888888'.

Then when somebody asks what it is, you can tell them it's '12 34 56 78'.

World Cup jokes and memes

The 2022 World Cup comes to an end next weekend, so it seems an appropriate time to feature a random collection of World Cup related memes and jokes!

1) This is what Phil Foden would look like if he was a cat...

#SeparatedAtBirth

For the record, Phil Foden is a class footballer who should be a guaranteed starter for England. Nevertheless, I have to admit, his hairstyle does look a bit like he copied it from a Lego figure.

10 jokes and memes about jobs (part 2)

If you're a relative of an influential politician then you may have a high paid 'consultancy job' in a foreign country which coincidentally just so happens to receive billions of taxpayers' money in foreign aid, which definitely goes to help needy people and definitely doesn't get used as back handers for politicians' relatives. **shifty eyes**

Grumpy Cat: "Why are you so sad?"
Grumpy Clown: "I was sacked for being late.
What about you? Why are you so sad?"
Grumpy Cat: "Because I'm not the real Grumpy Cat. I'm just a look-alike.
I only get paid a fraction of what the real Grumpy Cat earned!"

However, the rest of us need to get real jobs, so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another round-up of jokes and memes about jobs.

1) A clown turned up for work late on his first day and he got sacked from the circus. He's suing for funfair dismissal.

Credit: Athletico Mince



2) Being a waiter isn't the most glamorous job, but it puts food on the table.

Stupid autocorrect!

Autocorrect is a great idea in theory, but in reality I find myself correcting autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me!

Anyway, on that theme this week the Charm Fuddlemuffler Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at autocrat autocorrelation autocorrect...

1) Google were one of the first to introduce a form of autocorrect with their 'Did you mean' search suggestions, as illustrated below...

#irony

Search: "I cant stand being corrected."

Google: "Did you mean I can't stand being corrected."

10 jokes and memes about jobs

My ideal job would involve working for two hours per week, have 10 months holiday per year, and come with a seven figure salary. Sadly, my chances of being hired as a ******* ********** who takes ****** from ******* ************ seem unlikely, so instead I'll just have to settle for blogging!

"Hooray! It's time to go to work!"
A typical reaction from most people at the start of the work day.

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features 10 job related jokes and memes...

1) I've just started work as a rubbish collector. I asked if I'll get any training, but they said I just pick it up as I go along.



2) It must be really weird getting fired if you're a security guard, because you'd have to escort yourself off the premises.



3) Whoever created this next sign either has a silly sense of humour, or they're not very good at basic arithmetic...

Lottery themed memes and jokes

My latest book 'The Freedom Lottery' was released this week, so to promote it, this week's blog post features a selection of lottery themed jokes and memes.

However, I should first clarify that the plot of The Freedom Lottery has nothing to do with the regular lottery where you can win lots of money. The Freedom Lottery featured in the book of the same name, is a lottery whereby 'winning' prisoners can risk their lives for a shot at freedom by attempting to walk across the minefield which surrounds their prison without getting blown up.

Anyway, the book has 'lottery' in the title, so that's the promotional introduction over, and now let's get on with the lottery themed jokes and memes...

1) I just won $1,000,000 on the lottery and I'm donating a quarter to charity!
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the other $999,999.75 though.



2) What's the easiest way to complete your family tree?
Post on social media that you won the lottery.

Separated at birth

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin takes a look at people, planets, mops, and other miscellaneous items that bear such a stunning similarity to each other that you can't help think that they were separated at birth...

1) Kevin Magnusson and a banana...

Former formula 1 driver Kevin Magnusson showed his sense of humour when he tweeted the following separated at birth photo...

I split my sides when I first saw this photo! Maybe he should be renamed Kevin Magnesium.*

I'm not going to mention Peanuts, Gold And Happiness...

My latest short story
'Peanuts, Gold And Happiness'
which I'm not going to mention
at all this week.

My latest short story, 'Peanuts, Gold And Happiness' was recently released, and usually on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, whenever I release a new short story or new book, I traditionally feature a blog post promoting the short story or book.

However, I've decided that it's kind of egotistical to use my blog just to advertise my short stories, so instead I've decided for once that this week I'm not going to promote my latest short story. In fact I'm not going to mention it at all.

Instead this week I've decided to feature a selection of totally random clips, memes and puzzles...

1) Giraffe or dolphin

Readers may remember the 'laurel or yanny' audio clip which went viral a couple of years ago. It was a rather weird audio trick whereby two people could listen to the same audio clip, and one person would hear the word 'laurel' while the other would hear the word 'yanny'.

Giraffe or dolphin?
You(r ears) decide!

Here's a similar audio trick with the words giraffe and dolphin. The voice narrator is actually saying 'giraffe', but a few seconds of introductory ambient noises have been added to the audio to trick the human mind into hearing the word 'dolphin' when the narrator's audio begins.

It only works on people with sharp mental reflexes, so if you hear the word 'dolphin' you're quite possibly a genius! Whereas if you hear the word 'giraffe', your brain is too slow to be deceived by clever audio engineering!

Anyway, have a listen to the clip and see what you hear...

World Cup memes

Last weekend saw France beat Croatia to become the 2018 World Cup winners. Sticking with the World Cup theme, here's a round-up of some of the memes that did the rounds on social media during the World Cup...

1) Close enough...

"Three lions on the shirt."

Never work with children or animals ... or violent psychopathic criminals!

My latest short story, 'Never Work With Children Or Animals ... Or Violent Psychopathic Criminals', is released this weekend, so sticking with that theme, this week's blog post features a collection of memes featuring children, animals, and criminals ... and in some cases a combination of the three.

1) Three held in 30 man brawl

This first photo highlights that appearances can be deceiving...

I'm hoping this is simply a case of a badly placed headline/photo combination.

Be the first of your friends to like this post...

Christmas memes

I'm feeling in a festive mood, so here are a few memes based on a Christmas theme.

1) Talking rubbish

The first meme is two bins discussing whether Santa Claus is real or not, and it features a cheesy punchline.

Bin 1: "Santa Claus isn't real."
Bin 2: "You're talking rubbish!"

For the benefit of any American readers, that translates as:

Bin 1: "Santa Claus isn't real."
Bin 2: "You're talking garbage!"