Lottery themed memes and jokes

My latest book 'The Freedom Lottery' was released this week, so to promote it, this week's blog post features a selection of lottery themed jokes and memes.

However, I should first clarify that the plot of The Freedom Lottery has nothing to do with the regular lottery where you can win lots of money. The Freedom Lottery featured in the book of the same name, is a lottery whereby 'winning' prisoners can risk their lives for a shot at freedom by attempting to walk across the minefield which surrounds their prison without getting blown up.

Anyway, the book has 'lottery' in the title, so that's the promotional introduction over, and now let's get on with the lottery themed jokes and memes...

1) I just won $1,000,000 on the lottery and I'm donating a quarter to charity!
I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the other $999,999.75 though.



2) What's the easiest way to complete your family tree?
Post on social media that you won the lottery.



3) If I ever won the lottery, I'd go crazy...

"Surely only a crazy person would sort prices from high to low."

4) Did you hear about the guy who blew his entire lottery winnings on a limousine?
He had nothing left to chauffeur it.  ** groan **



5) I won five million pounds on the lottery and my mate asked me, "What are you going to do about all the begging letters?"
"I'll still keep sending them," I replied.



6) This guy must be the luckiest guy on Earth! Two lucky, totally unrelated, coincidences in one week!

5) I used to buy lottery tickets until I realized you could watch it for free on TV.



6) "I always wanted to win the lottery, like my brother."
"Your brother won the lottery?"
"No, but he wanted to."



9) What a generous Christmas gift from Nicole!

Not only did she buy her friend Chris $25 worth of lottery tickets, but she also went to the effort of scratching them off for him as well!



10) Finally, if you ever win the lottery, here's a silly prank you can play on the band of your choice.

i) When a concert is announced, buy every single ticket the moment they go on sale.

ii) Then on the day of the concert, when the band comes out on stage they'll be surprised to see that despite the concert being sold out, you're the only one of their fans that bothered to turn up!

iii) To add to the silliness, sit at the back, and ask the band if it would be okay to move to one of the seats at the front seeing as how no-one else seems to have bothered to turn up.

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My latest book 'The Freedom Lottery' is available for kindle from Amazon. Heres the blurb:

"By the year 2069, the justice system and the entertainment industry had merged. The worst criminals of society were sent to Fragment Fields Prison with no chance of parole. If they ever wanted to see the outside world again, then their only hope was via the Freedom Lottery.

The Freedom Lottery was, depending on your point of view, a chance for long term prisoners to gain early release, or an exploitative form of reality entertainment. The highlight of each week's show was live footage of the previous week’s ‘winning’ prisoner attempting to gain their freedom as they made their way across the minefield surrounding the prison.

Malick Matthews, a long term prisoner at Fragment Fields Prison, had always insisted that the Freedom Lottery was only for 'mugs and suicidal maniacs'. However, when his circumstances change and his wife's life is put in danger, Malick's only hope of saving his wife is to join the 'mugs and suicidial maniacs' by signing up..."