10 jokes and memes about jobs (part 3)

A wise man once said, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Because you'll get fired for doing what you love, rather than doing your job."

As luck would have it, that leads us nicely into this week's blog post, which is also on the theme of jobs.

1) Thankfully, I've worked at several companies with hard-working managers who do a good job. However, I've worked at the occasional place like this...

"Due to cutbacks, we're going to have to fire Dave."





2) I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but I quit while I was a head.





3) Sadly, I was fired from my job shaving patients for spinal surgery.

It was due to cutbacks.





4) When the boss unexpectedly shows up at work, and you need to look busy so you pretend you're doing something...

5) I was fired from my job at an ice cream factory.

Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!





6) If candidates answered job interview questions honestly...

Interviewer: "So, tell me why you want the job."
Candidate: "Well, you pay me money, and money can be exchanged for goods and services."





7) Meet Adam and Chris...

To be fair, I suspect that most people who do philosophy degrees know it's not a wise career move, and they presumably do it because they enjoy philosophy rather than for future employment prospects.

However, anyone doing a philosophy degree who didn't realise that is indeed rather foolish.





8) I've just told a mime artist that I had to fire him.

"You're firing me! What did I do wrong?" he replied.





9) Can you imagine the self-control you would need to work in a bubble wrap factory?





10) Finally, if you accidentally came here looking for an actual job, rather than memes, then good news! Royal Mail are hiring!

"When you were a kid did you play that game where you knocked on someone's door and ran away before they could answer?"

To be fair, our local postman isn't too bad ... as long as you sprint to the door as soon as you hear a knock and get there within three seconds!

In all seriousness, at least my parcels always get delivered and I don't have a problem with deliveries going to the wrong house (unlike some people in my area who use other delivery services), so respect for getting my parcels delivered!

You can find more job themed blog posts below:
Funny job application answers
Name fits job

Random thoughts (part 14)

Every now and again on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, I like to post about random unconnected subjects, and today is one such occasion.

A selection of fairy tale characters, including the Two Little Pigs.
Because apparently AI can't count.

To start things off, here's a thought on the transformation of fairy tales over the ages.

1) Fairy tales used to start with, "Once upon a time..."

Nowadays, fairy tales begin with, "According to experts..."




2) I want to be a billionaire like my dad.

He wants to become a billionaire too.

Silly tautologies (part 6)

I'm absolutely certain, one hundred percent sure, without a doubt that a tautology could be described as 'needless repetition'. In fact I used a tautology right there in my opening sentence!

Or if you were more technically minded, you might describe a tautology as a 'repetition of truth', but that's basically the same thing.

New inovations.

Anyway, rather conveniently, tautologies are the subject of this week's blog post.

1) New innovation

New innovations are so much better than old innovations!

To be serious for a brief moment, an innovation is a fresh concept or a new idea, so you can't have an old innovation.

And that leads us into the next tautology...

Music memes and jokes

It's the Grammy Awards this weekend, a night when carefully chosen establishment puppets gather together to pat themselves on the back and push whatever message their masters tell them to, so in honour of those who sold out their integrity for 'success', this week's blog post has a musical theme to it.

1) Here's an Etch-A-Sketch image of Elvis Presley performing some of his most famous songs.

Credit: Clean Memes

For the benefit of any younger readers, Etch-A-Sketch was an old-fashioned drawing toy, and if you wanted to delete your drawing, you had to shake the Etch-A-Sketch.

And for the benefit of any really young readers, Elvis Presley was a singer from the olden days.

Breaking news (part 2)

The news today from the legacy media is pretty much non-stop propaganda, so to take a break from the attempted brainwashing, here's a round up of silly news stories!

All of the following news items may or may not be true... **shifty eyes**

1) A local toddler was taken into custody by police after he refused to go to bed at his naptime.

A pug at Barking station on his way to Tooting.

Police say he has been charged with resisting a rest.




2) A man has trained his dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.

The dog went from Barking to Tooting in just over an hour.

Misleading thumbnails (part 2)

Unfortunately I didn't have any photos of
a misleading thumbnail, so here's a photo of
a regular non-misleading thumbnail instead.

Do you like quizzes?
Do you like thumbnails?
Do you like being misled?

If your answer to those questions is yes*, then good news! This week's blog post should be right up your alley, as it features a quiz, the quiz involves thumbnails, and those thumbnails are misleading!

* Even if you don't like being misled, which I presume applies to most normal people, then you should hopefully still appreciate this week's quiz, as the misleading thumbnails are only included to provide a mental challenge, not to cause injury, loss or embarrassment.

Anyway, this week's blog post is a quiz featuring misleading thumbnails. All you have to do is take a look at the following thumbnails and guess whether the description is accurate, or whether it's just a sneaky bluff. If the image is a misleading thumbnail, then award yourself a bonus point if you can guess what it really is.

1) Proud mother cat with her litter of kittens

To start things off with a fairly easy one, the first thumbnail is a photo of proud mother cat with her litter of kittens.

But is it really a proud mother cat and her kittens, or is it just a deceptively misleading thumbnail?

True or false?

Entertainment memes and jokes

My latest book 'Murdertainment' was recently published at Amazon for kindle, and whenever I publish a new book I like to promote it with a light-hearted blog post on the theme of the book.

However, the theme of 'Murdertainment' is a sci-fi story set on a planet where murder is used for entertainment purposes, which I have to admit, isn't particularly light-hearted. So instead, I've decided to have a blog post about entertainment in general, with a look at ten* of the most popular forms of entertainment.

* In no particular order.

1) Sports

You'd have to be very forgetful to forget your own son. However, if you did forget your son, then this is what you might say...

Credit: ifunny

Bonus joke: