Auction memes and jokes

As the saying goes, auctions speak louder than words.

Editor's note: "Charles, that's not the saying. It's actions speak louder than words, not auctions."
Charles: "Shush! Don't spoil it."

So with that in mind, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at memes and jokes with an auction theme.

1) I remember the first time I ever went to a car auction with my dad as a young child, and I was really paranoid about accidentally bidding for a car. So to ensure I didn't accidentally bid for a car, I sat there frozen like a statue for the entire auction (and especially during the sales of expensive cars).

Anyway, when I think back to that auction, I can totally relate to this first meme...

Credit: imgflip

Looking back, I was only about eight when I went to that car auction with my dad, so if I had inadvertantly scratched my nose, it's unlikely that the auctioneer would have assumed that an eight year old kid was bidding for an expensive car!

Football top tips

A new season of the Premier League recently kicked off, so as I often like to do on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, this week's blog post has a football theme to it. It's a theme I've featured before, as this week I round up a selection of top tips for footballers, pundits, managers and fans.

"See! I told you I was a referee!"

1) Fouled footballers. Try clutching the correct part of your body as you writhe in simulated agony in order to give your claim more credibility.




2) Fool people into believing you’re a football referee by spraying shaving foam on their shoes.




3) Arne Slot and Ange Postecoglou. Buy a dog so you can practise keeping hold of a lead.

Random thoughts (part 15)

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at a selection of random subjects, including clocks, cars, and diamond mountains.

"Hmm, will this be enough?"

To get the ball rolling here's a question which I have often wondered...

1) Why do local councils always have enough asphalt for speed bumps, but never enough to fill potholes?




2) Only in math(s) problems can you buy forty water melons, and nobody asks what is wrong with you.

Paradoxes (part 5)

If your brain is in the mood for doing a few mental somersaults, then you're in the right place, because this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes another lighthearted look at the subject of paradoxes.

Legal disclaimer: For some of the examples, the term 'paradox' is used very loosely.

1) The reading paradox

Who exactly is this banner aimed at?

People who can read, don't need it, and people who can't read, can't read it.

Faces in things (Batman edition)

I always used to wonder why the citizens of Metropolis didn't realize that Clark Kent is Superman. After all, surely a pair of glasses can't be that good of a disguise. However, I then went to a work reunion one time, and I completely didn't recognize my old boss, just because he had started wearing glasses. So maybe the people of Metropolis aren't as stupid as I thought.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm waffling on about Superman, because this week's blog post is on the theme of Batman, as we round up a pareidolia themed collection of random images that look like Batman.

1) Bat-Iceberg

To start things off, here's an iceberg that looks suspiciously like a certain caped crusader. Or maybe it's Mr Freeze. Anyway, I expect the Penguin will be close by.

Credit: Mike Parsons

Batman: "If you want just-ice*, you have to become it."

* Justice.

Random Star Wars thoughts (part 3)

It's become something of a tradition on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog to mark each Star Wars Day (May 4th) with a Star Wars themed blog post, and this year is no different.

Darth Midi-chloriansson, as he's known in Iceland.

This week's Star Wars themed blog post features another random selection of miscellaneous Star Wars themed thoughts.

1) Under the Icelandic naming system, Luke Skywalker would have been called Luke Vaderson.

Presumably, Darth Vader would have been called Darth Midi-chloriansson.




2) Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
Obi-wan: "Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

Obi-Wan just accused Yoda of being a Sith!

Top tips (part 8)

If you're looking for serious advice, then you've come to the wrong place. If you're looking for silly advice, however, then this week's blog post should be perfect for you, as this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another colection of silly top tips.

AI? Or just a devious criminal?

Credit: memedroid

1) Ugly men. On dating apps, always upload your photos upside down, so when girls flip their phones and swipe left, it actually swipes right.




2) Criminals. Wear a fake extra finger, so any photo or video evidence will be inadmissible as it will appear to be AI generated.

Legal disclaimer: The Charles Fudgemuffin blog does not actually recommend that criminals do this. Charles Fudgemuffin recommends that criminals instead rethink their lives and turn away from their criminal deeds.




3) Pensioners. The government don't want you to live a long happy life, because they owe you your state pension/social security.

Always be skeptical therefore of any health advice that government 'experts' give you.