Saturday, 31 July 2021

How to be a rebel! (part 2)

May 29th is an important day for fans of avocados, because today is National Avocado Day!*

* Seriously, I'm not making it up. Check out the link below if you don't believe me:
nationaltoday.com/national-avocado-day

Given that I occasionally use national days as the inspiration for blog post ideas, you may therefore be expecting me this week to publish a blog post about avocados. However, you'd be wrong, because this week I'm not going to write about avocados, or indeed any fruit/vegetable.

Instead, in an act of rebellion, I'm going to write about how to be a rebel. To start things off, here's one creature that is definitely an inspiration for all budding rebels...

1) Rebellious seagull


This seagull doesn't play by the rules!

"Squawk! Taxation is theft! Squawk!"

I can't help thinking that it's a bit pointless having a sign telling seagulls they're not allowed, primarily because all the seagulls I've ever encountered have been unable to read signs.

Saturday, 24 July 2021

Funny courtroom quotes (part 4)

"How did you become deceased?"
"Someone took a wild stab in the dark."
It's time for another round-up of funny courtroom quotes featuring stupid questions by lawyers, and a few equally silly answers from witnesses...

1) Before and after


Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes, sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"

I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess 'before'.

Saturday, 17 July 2021

Emoji quiz (part 2)

Today the world celebrates World Emoji Day! So to join in with the fun, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another emoji quiz.

The categories are movies, TV shows, video games, and books, so take a look at the following emoji clues and see if you can work out what answers they represent.

Category 1: Movies


As with last time it's movies to start us off. Most of these emoji clues represent fairly famous movies, so even if you haven't seen them all you should hopefully have heard of most of them, but number four in particular might be a bit tricky.

"Why did the dinosaur go to bed?"
"Because he was tired."
1) ⚔️ (🌎🌍)

2) 👦✂️✋🤚

3) 🦖🏞️

4) 👴👨👦👶

5) (🤤🍲) (🕹️🎮)

Saturday, 10 July 2021

Learn 32 French words in seconds!

In a few days' time on July 14th it will be Bastille Day, also known as the National Day Of France, so to celebrate, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a quick French lesson teaching you how to say 32 words in French.

Le French fries.
(Not really. The correct translation is actually
'les frites'. French people don't bother
clarifying that French fries are French.)
Even if you're not very good at learning new languages, I guarantee you should have no problem memorising the following French words...

English     French

ambulance = l'ambulance
animal = l'animal
biscuit = le biscuit
bracelet = le bracelet
centre = le centre
certain = certain
chance = la chance
difference = la difference
direction = la direction

Saturday, 3 July 2021

Anagrams

What do Charles Fudgemuffin and 'A Cheerful Mind Guffs' have in common?
The answer is they're both anagrams of each other!

Welcome to the town of Anagram.
Please drive curly flea.
This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at anagrams. As I often like to do, however, I've included a twist. One of the following 'anagrams' isn't actually an anagram. See if you can work out which one it is.

To start things off, this first anagram suggests that reports of Elvis' death may be greatly exaggerated...

1) 'Elvis' is an anagram of 'lives'.



Then again, this next anagram provides a less optimistic answer to the question 'Is Elvis still alive?'

2) 'Elvis Aaron Presley' is an anagram of 'Seen alive? Sorry, pal.'

Saturday, 26 June 2021

Random thoughts (part 10)

It's been ten months since I featured my last round-up of random thoughts, and since I average around one thought per month that means I've now had enough random thoughts to put together another blog post of random thoughts!

"Don't worry! I'll watch your things for you!"
This week's collection of random thoughts features such random subjects as identical twins, butlers, and to start things off, a beach based random thought...

1) Misplaced trust


On the beach I've often been asked by complete strangers to watch their stuff while they go in the sea for a swim, because they're afraid that a complete stranger might steal their stuff.

How do they know I'm not the stranger they're afraid of that would steal their stuff!?



2) Impeccable timing


News reports often refer to an untimely death. That begs the question, is there such a thing as a timely death?

Saturday, 19 June 2021

10 jokes about writers

It's officially National Writing Day in a few days' time (June 23rd), so to celebrate here are a few jokes about writing and writers...

A touching story.
1) I'm currently reading a book written in Braille.
It's a touching story.



2) I recently read a novel about a man who had a small garden.
It didn't have much of a plot.



3) Eleven vowels, 17 consonants, an exclamation mark and a comma appeared in court today. They are due to be sentenced next week.

Related posts:

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.