Idiot Awards (part 7)

It really annoys me when idiots can't tell the difference between to, two, and too.

Their so stupid!

Editor's note: "Charles, that should read 'they're', not 'their'."
Charles: "Yes, I know. It's a joke. I'm poking fun at myself."
Editor: "Oh, sorry!"

Anyway, it's time to shine the spotlight on idiots once again as this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another batch of Idiot Awards.

A grumpy hair stylist complains about job discrimination.

1) Miserable Idiot

This first example is a story that highlights just how idiotic the forever-outraged elements of our society have become. To summarize the story, a hair salon wanted to place a job advert, but they were told they weren't allowed to advertise for a 'happy stylist' because it discriminated against unhappy people!

Not surprisingly, the hair salon owner placing the advert thought it was a joke at first, but incredibly the local job centre were actually being serious. Thankfully, they eventually backed down though, once the story started going viral on social media.

Lazy or genius? (part 2)

I was going to write a blog post this week on the subject of non-linear quantum optics and photonics, but I couldn't be bothered. So instead, I've taken inspiration from my own laziness and compiled a blog post on the theme of 'lazy of genius' memes!

1) Lazy clock

"Shall we move the clock out of the way of that pole?"
"No, I've got a better idea..."

Credit: The Irish Sun

You have to ask ... were the stick on numbers even neecessary? I mean, I'm pretty sure most people could guess what the hidden numbers were even without the numbers written on the pole.

Made-up statistics (part 2)

A week is made up of seven days. A circle has 360 degrees. The Earth has one natural satellite known as the Moon. Those are all undeniably factual statistics.

However, not all statistics are factual. Some of them are made up! This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features just some of those made-up statistics, starting with a statistic about statistics.

For copyright reasons, here's a picture of
Slowy the Hedgehog instead.

1) Apparently, 82% of all statistics are made up.

But the other 30% are true!





2) 80% of pet hedgehogs are named Sonic.

In all seriousness, I can see there being a grain of truth in this made-up statistic, especially back in the 90s.

Funny things parents say (part 3)

Kids often say very funny things. Parents generally aren't quite as funny as kids, but they nevertheless do occasionally also say slightly amusing things.

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog rounds up some of those slightly amusing comments.

A happy man cleans his teeth while eating Oreos.
His reflection, on the other hand, just sticks to eating Oreos.

1) "The name 'terrible twos' is just a cruel joke on new parents to trick them into believing the later years are somehow less terrible."

Credit: @CynicalParent





2) Here's a nugget of wisdom which most parents can probably relate to...

"Cleaning the house while children live there is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos."

10 jokes and memes about jobs (part 3)

A wise man once said, "Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Because you'll get fired for doing what you love, rather than doing your job."

As luck would have it, that leads us nicely into this week's blog post, which is also on the theme of jobs.

1) Thankfully, I've worked at several companies with hard-working managers who do a good job. However, I've worked at the occasional place like this...

"Due to cutbacks, we're going to have to fire Dave."

Random thoughts (part 14)

Every now and again on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, I like to post about random unconnected subjects, and today is one such occasion.

A selection of fairy tale characters, including the Two Little Pigs.
Because apparently AI can't count.

To start things off, here's a thought on the transformation of fairy tales over the ages.

1) Fairy tales used to start with, "Once upon a time..."

Nowadays, fairy tales begin with, "According to experts..."




2) I want to be a billionaire like my dad.

He wants to become a billionaire too.

Silly tautologies (part 6)

I'm absolutely certain, one hundred percent sure, without a doubt that a tautology could be described as 'needless repetition'. In fact I used a tautology right there in my opening sentence!

Or if you were more technically minded, you might describe a tautology as a 'repetition of truth', but that's basically the same thing.

New inovations.

Anyway, rather conveniently, tautologies are the subject of this week's blog post.

1) New innovation

New innovations are so much better than old innovations!

To be serious for a brief moment, an innovation is a fresh concept or a new idea, so you can't have an old innovation.

And that leads us into the next tautology...