Saturday, 1 October 2022

15 insults to avoid using

In just a few days' time, it will National Be Nice Day. Being nice means not insulting people, so to ensure you know what to avoid, here's a round up of some famous amusing insults which you should definitely avoid using.

"Undercooked is just how I like my lamb!"
1) "This lamb is so undercooked, it's following Mary to school!"
~Gordon Ramsay

2) Reporter: "How many people work in the Vatican?"
Pope John Paul XXIII: "About half."

3) "I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception."
~Groucho Marx

Saturday, 24 September 2022

Silly bus displays

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at buses. Now you're probably thinking, 'Buses? How boring!', and admittedly, buses generally aren't very interesting or amusing.

However, the buses featured this week are! Each of the buses in this week's blog post has been chosen because of its noteworthy display...

1) Bussy McBusface

To start things off, here's an appropriately named bus from Glasgow driven by a bus driver with a sense of humour...

"Bussy McBusface"

Saturday, 17 September 2022

Random thoughts (Nature edition)

From time to time, I like to post random thoughts on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog and this week is no different. Well, there is one slight difference. This week's random thoughts are all on the theme of nature...

Unfortunately I haven't got a photo of a real turtle, but I think you'll agree,
this fake turtle made from stones makes an impressive improvised version.
(If you squint your eyes, and just glance quickly.)
1) The early bird catches the worm, but surely sometimes the lazy bird must catch the lazy worm.

2) If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?

3) There are no baby butterflies.

Saturday, 10 September 2022

'Yes, Prime Minister' quotes (part 2)

Once again politics is a subject that's been in the news this week, as the UK got a new Prime Minister.
To bring a touch of light-heartedness to proceedings, and as a temporary distraction from the doom that our traitorous politicians (of all parties) are leading us towards, I therefore decided it would be an appropriate time to feature another round-up of quotes from the classic political sitcom, 'Yes, Prime Minister'.

The Charles Fudgemuffin blog heads to
10 Downing Street for another batch of quotes
from the political sitcom, 'Yes, Prime Minister'.
As a quick recap for anyone who hasn't seen the show, Jim Hacker was the fictional Prime Minister, and Sir Humphrey Appleby was the chief civil servant who always tried to stop the Prime Minister from ever getting anything positive done, instead pursuing his own agenda.*

* Unlike real life, where bureaucrats definitely always respect the democratic will of the people. **shifty eyes **

1) Sir Humphrey: "If local authorities don't send us statistics, government figures will be a nonsense."
Jim Hacker: "Why?"
Sir Humphrey: "They'll be incomplete."
Jim Hacker: "Government figures are a nonsense anyway."
Bernard: "I think Sir Humphrey wants to ensure they're a complete nonsense."

Saturday, 3 September 2022

10 riddles to celebrate National Riddle Day (part 2)

Today is National Riddle Day, so to celebrate, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another collection of fiendish riddles.

Another batch of riddles served up for
National Riddle Day.

1) Parent riddle

A doctor and a scientist went for a walk through a national park. One of them was the father of the other's son.

How was this possible?

2) Delicate riddle

What is so delicate that saying it's name breaks it?

Saturday, 27 August 2022

New words, and when they were first used (part 3)

For every word ever used in the English language, there was a moment when someone used that word for the very first time. So on that theme, this week I take another look back through history to find out when a few words were originally used for the first time.

An elderly man teaching a youngerly child how to ride a bike.

1611: Elderly

The word 'elder' has been around since before the 12th century, and yet the word 'elderly' wasn't used until 1611. It seems like an obvious oversight to go over four centuries before someone had the idea to add 'ly' to the end of elder to refer to old people.

Having said that, the word 'younger' has also been around since before the 12th century, and we still haven't had the bright idea to refer to young people as 'youngerly'.* I suppose George Lucas came close when he used 'younglings', but as yet no-one has yet thought to use the word 'youngerly'.

* Except me. (c) Charles Fudgemuffin.

Saturday, 20 August 2022

Random silliness (part 2)

If the world is getting you stressed right now, then here's my suggested antidote ... random silliness!

1) To start things off, here's a very silly, but also totally brilliant pacifier/dummy* for any parent who wants to know what their baby would look like if they had a moustache...

* Delete as appropriate depending on whether you're American or English.

Moustache pacifier/dummy.

He just needs a top hat and a monocle to complete the look.