Paradoxes (part 5)

If your brain is in the mood for doing a few mental somersaults, then you're in the right place, because this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes another lighthearted look at the subject of paradoxes.

Legal disclaimer: For some of the examples, the term 'paradox' is used very loosely.

1) The reading paradox

Who exactly is this banner aimed at?

People who can read, don't need it, and people who can't read, can't read it.

Faces in things (Batman edition)

I always used to wonder why the citizens of Metropolis didn't realize that Clark Kent is Superman. After all, surely a pair of glasses can't be that good of a disguise. However, I then went to a work reunion, and I completely didn't recognize my old boss, just because he had started wearing glasses. So maybe the people of Metropolis aren't as stupid as I thought.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm waffling on about Superman, because this week's blog post is on the theme of Batman, as we round up a pareodolia themed collection of random images that look like Batman.

1) Bat-Iceberg

To start things off, here's an iceberg that looks suspiciously like a certain caped crusader. Or maybe it's Mr Freeze. Anyway, I expect the Penguin will be close by.

Credit: Mike Parsons

Batman: "If you want just-ice*, you have to become it."

* Justice.

Random Star Wars thoughts (part 3)

It's become something of a tradition on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog to mark each Star Wars Day (May 4th) with a Star Wars themed blog post, and this year is no different.

Darth Midi-chloriansson, as he's known in Iceland.

This week's Star Wars themed blog post features another random selection of miscellaneous Star Wars themed thoughts.

1) Under the Icelandic naming system, Luke Skywalker would have been called Luke Vaderson.

Presumably, Darth Vader would have been called Darth Midi-chloriansson.




2) Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
Obi-wan: "Only a Sith deals in absolutes."

Obi-Wan just accused Yoda of being a Sith!

Top tips (part 8)

If you're looking for serious advice, then you've come to the wrong place. If you're looking for silly advice, however, then this week's blog post should be perfect for you, as this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another colection of silly top tips.

AI? Or just a devious criminal?

Credit: memedroid

1) Ugly men. On dating apps, always upload your photos upside down, so when girls flip their phones and swipe left, it actually swipes right.




2) Criminals. Wear a fake extra finger, so any photo or video evidence will be inadmissible as it will appear to be AI generated.

Legal disclaimer: The Charles Fudgemuffin blog does not actually recommend that criminals do this. Charles Fudgemuffin recommends that criminals instead rethink their lives and turn away from their criminal deeds.




3) Pensioners. The government don't want you to live a long happy life, because they owe you your state pension/social security.

Always be skeptical therefore of any health advice that government 'experts' give you.

Question of the day (part 5)

According to the experts, it's bad to ask questions. You should always just blindly accept the advice of the 'experts' ... even when they're repeatedly wrong on every imaginable subject!

'Chatoyant' is a cool word that we should use more often.
It means 'light reflecting off a gemstone', and it's such a mellifluous
word! Actually, that's another word we should use more often!

However, at least half of the following questions should hopefully avoid upsetting the experts, because this week's blog post features another mix of silly and serious questions.

Serious:

1) What is a cool word in the English language which is underused and needs to be used more often?



Silly:

2) Do they have pantomimes in America?

Oh no they don't!

Funny horse names: A true or false quiz (part 2)

This weekend sees the Grand National take place, which for the benefit of non-English people is the biggest horse race of the year in England.

Although I'm not really interested in horse racing, I do appreciate some of the amusing names that some horses have. This week's blog post therefore has a horse racing theme in the form of a quiz. Take a look at the following horse names, and try to decide if they are real actual horse names, or whether they're just a daft fictitious invention that I made up.

1) Hoof Hearted

Hoof Hearted denies being responsible for the suspicious smell.

Back in the early 2000s, there was a South African horse with the rather immature name Hoof Hearted.

In case you're wondering why exactly Hoof Hearted was an immature name, ask yourself what question you would ask if there was an unpleasant smell?

Hoof Hearted?

True or false?

Random coincidences

My latest book 'A Series Of Seriously Consequential Coincidences' was recently published for kindle, so to publicize it, this week's blog post features a round up of memes, jokes, facts, and personal experiences all on the theme of coincidences.

1) Imagine sitting on a plane and it turns out that the passenger in the next seat looks exactly like you! That's what happened to Neil Douglas when he boarded a flight and discovered that the person sitting next to him was a mirror image of himself.

Credit: Telegraph

By a further coincidence, they were both going to the same destination!

Editor's note: "Of course they would be going to the same destination. It was a plane, not a bus. That's how planes work!"
Charles: "Yes, it was a joke."
Editor: "Oh, right. That makes more sense."