15 insults to avoid using (part 2)

Here on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog we like to promote an atmosphere of peace and harmony between people. So for educational purposes only, here's another collection of insults to avoid using in order to maintain peace and harmony...

A brain.

1) "If he ever left his brain to science, I'm sure science would contest the will."




2) "You used so much oil, the U.S. want to invade the plate."
...Gordon Ramsay




3) "Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster."

15 insults to avoid using

In just a few days' time, it will National Be Nice Day. Being nice means not insulting people, so to ensure you know what to avoid, here's a round up of some famous amusing insults which you should definitely avoid using.

"Undercooked is just how I like my lamb!"

1) "This lamb is so undercooked, it's following Mary to school!"
~Gordon Ramsay



2) Reporter: "How many people work in the Vatican?"
Pope John Paul XXIII: "About half."



3) "I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll make an exception."
~Groucho Marx

True or false: Old fashioned insults (part 2)

It's National Insult Day in a few days' time*, so that means it's time for another insult themed true or false quiz! Take a look at the following insults, and see if you can guess whether they're genuine old fashioned insults from the olden days, or whether I've just made them up.

* October 28th, to be precise.

In the olden days, if someone was talking
flibbertigibbet, they were talking nonsense.
But is that true, or is it flibbertigibbet?

1) Flibbertigibbet

As I've mentioned in one of my previous posts, if someone is talking nonsense, then in China you might exclaim, "Dog fart!" to indicate that they're talking rubbish.

In the olden days, they didn't have any insults quite as amusing as "Dog fart!" but they did have the rather cool expression of 'flibbertygibbet'. To elaborate, in the olden days if you wanted to accuse someone of talking nonsense, you might say, "That's flibbertygibbet!"

Real insult or fake insult?

True or false: Old fashioned insults

October 28th is National Insult Day, so on that theme this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at old fashioned insults.

Some of the following terms are old fashioned insults which were used in the olden days, but to keep you on your toes I've also included a few made up insults. Some fake insults may be fairly obvious, but others may be a little trickier to spot.

Take a look at the following insults and see if you can guess which of the following used to be real insults in the olden days, and which are made up...

Look at that total cabbage head!

1) Cabbage head

An easy one to start things off. As you can probably guess, a cabbage head is someone who is incredibly stupid, or seriously lacking in intellect.

Real insult or fake insult?

2) Lubberwort

Sticking with the theme of vegetables, a lubberwort is quite a bizarre insult as a lubberwort is 'someone who has eaten a mythical vegetable which makes them extremely stupid.' In reality of course, eating vegetables doesn't make you stupid - unless you eat Brussels sprouts, which taste horrible and therefore you would have to be stupid to eat them.

Real insult or fake insult?

Fawlty Tea Rooms

Basil Fawlty is one of the all-time classic soap sitcom characters, and during his time as manager of Fawlty Towers, be came out with some great insults. Here are some insults directed at his wife Sybil:

"My little piranha fish."

"Sybil has spent a hard day slaving under the hairdryer."

"Why don't you have another vat of wine dear?"

"My little piranha fish."

"Why don't you syringe the doughnuts out of your ears?"

When Sybil is trying to remember if she has forgotten anything: "Handbag, knuckle dusters, flick knife?"

When Sybil is going out in the car: "Don't drive over any mines or anything!"

After Sybil complains of having a difficult day: "Oh Dear! Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? You didn't have time to perm your ears?"

However, it appears that Basil may have a real life rival, if the replies to some of the reviews of The Well Walk Tea Rooms on Trip Advisor are anything to go by.

Before I get to the replies, I should point out that The Well Walk Tea Rooms has an overall rating of 4.5 stars, so any negative reviews are very definitely in the minority. Anyway, check out some of the replies from the manager...