Some of the following terms are old fashioned insults which were used in the olden days, but to keep you on your toes I've also included a few made up insults. Some fake insults may be fairly obvious, but others may be a little trickier to spot.
Take a look at the following insults and see if you can guess which of the following used to be real insults in the olden days, and which are made up...
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| Look at that total cabbage head! |
1) Cabbage head
An easy one to start things off. As you can probably guess, a cabbage head is someone who is incredibly stupid, or seriously lacking in intellect.
Real insult or fake insult?
2) Lubberwort
Sticking with the theme of vegetables, a lubberwort is quite a bizarre insult as a lubberwort is 'someone who has eaten a mythical vegetable which makes them extremely stupid.' In reality of course, eating vegetables doesn't make you stupid - unless you eat Brussels sprouts, which taste horrible and therefore you would have to be stupid to eat them.
Real insult or fake insult?
3) Shabbaroon
Whereas the insults featured so far have been various ways of calling someone stupid, to call someone a shabbaroon is a reference to their appearance rather than their intelligence, because a shabbaroon was someone who was very badly dressed.
Real insult or fake insult?
4) "Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon."
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| Apparently, Shakespeare wouldn't spit on this man's hand. |
Of course spitting is a totally horrible thing to do, so any normal decent person wouldn't spit on anyone, whether they were clean or not. However, if you were the type of horrible person that spits, I don't understand why only clean people would be deemed acceptable targets, and not dirty people?
Real insult or fake insult?
5) Umbly-wumbly
Apparently, an umbly-wimbly is a slang name for a large fat looking Scarab beetle which feeds off cow dung, so trust me when I say that it was very definitely not meant in a complimentary manner when people used to compare someone to one in the olden days!
Real insult or fake insult?
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| "What a tomato!" |
6) Tomato
To be called a tomato was a very hurtful term, because a tomato was an old fashioned way to describe someone who was an embarrassment to be seen with. If you were hanging out with an embarrassing colleague and some respectable acquaintances saw you, you might think to yourself, "Oh no! I can't believe they spotted me with this tomato!"
Real insult or fake insult?
7) Gentleman of Four Outs
A gentleman of four outs was an uncouth ruffian with no manners and no sense of social decorum. To explain the insult in more detail, the 'four outs' refers to the gentleman in question being without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.
Real insult or fake insult?
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| An outside toilet, pictured yesterday. |
8) Gowpi
If someone refers to you as a gowpi, then you may wish to check your deodorant, because in the olden days to call someone a gowpi was to compare them to a foul smelling privy or outside toilet.
Real insult or fake insult?
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How did you do? Scroll down the page to find out...
Answers:
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| Don't touch the fence, you cabbage head! |
1) Cabbage head
Someone who is incredibly stupid, or seriously lacking in intellect.
True - This was a fairly easy one to start things off. It doesn't really need to be explained - it's just kind of obvious that if somebody calls you a cabbage head, it obviously isn't meant in a complimentary manner!
2) Lubberwort
Someone who has eaten a mythical vegetable which makes them extremely stupid.
True - Mythical vegetables might not be real, but this insult is! Or at least it was in the olden days.
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| Shabbaroon? Or cool alternative fashion? You decide... #FashionIsInTheEyeOfTheBeholder |
3) Shabbaroon
A very badly dressed person.
True - Shabbaroon is another real insult. As it was from the olden days, as you might have guessed, it specifically referred to someone who wore old shabby worn-down clothes, rather than someone with bad fashion sense.
4) "Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon."
A Shakesperian insult aimed at dirty people.
True - This was a real insult from one of Shakespeare's plays. Once again, I could spot straight away that it was an insult, but it does seem a bit harsh to judge it acceptable to spit on clean people but not dirty people.
5) Umbly-wumbly
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| "Oops, I've fallen." "Silly you! Come here, you umbly-wumbly!" |
A large fat looking Scarab beetle which feeds off cow dung.
Fake - This one is fake. I just made it up.
However, if 'umbly-wumbly' was ever to become a real word, then I think it would be the ideal word for a parent to use when affectionately referring to their clumsy young child. Perhaps, for example, when they have just fallen over, and need a comforting hug, i.e. "Come here, you umbly-wumbly."
6) Tomato
Someone who was an embarrassment to be seen with.
Fake - 'Tomato' was indeed an old fashioned term to describe someone, but it wasn't a insult. A tomato was in fact an old fashioned term to describe a good looking attractive lady.
I have to say, people in the olden days must have been quite weird, because if I saw a good looking woman, I wouldn't think, "Wow! What a tomato!"
7) Gentleman of four outs
A gentleman without wit, without money, without credit, and without manners.
True - I suspect this was quite a snobbish insult. Although I agree that being without manners is definitely a negative attribute, however, being without money is nothing to be ashamed of.
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| "Dog fart!" |
8) Gowpi
Someone who smells like a foul smelling privy or outside toilet.
Fake - Strictly speaking I would have to say this one is fake, because gowpi isn't an insult from the olden days.
However, if you called someone a gowpi it would still be an insult, albeit a modern Chinese insult, because 'gowpi' is the Chinese word for 'dog fart'!
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How many did you get right? Check the table below to see how you did!
6-8 Congratulations! You're obviously an expert at insulting people!
3-5 You're fairly average at insulting people.
0-2 Ha, ha! You must be a complete cabbage head!
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