How many ... does it take to change a light bulb? (part 2)

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?"

From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, if a blog post is about an important enough subject, I like to cover it more than once. And what could be more important than National Light Bulb Day!

For those who didn't realise, as ridiculous as it sounds, yesterday was National Light Bulb Day, so in honour of light bulbs everywhere, here's another round-up of light bulb jokes...


1) How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One ... but the light bulb has to want to change.


2) How many clickbait headline writers does it take to change a light bulb?
14. Number 7 will shock you!


3) How many proof readers does it take to light a change blub?


4)  How many wizards does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends what you want it to change into.


5)  How many Sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer the dark side.

"Is this some kind of joke?"

6) How many chickens does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it and one to cross the road.


7) How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One.


8) How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Let’s go play on our Playstations!


9) How many auctioneers does it take to change a light bulb?
80 ... 85 ... 90 ... 95 ... 100 ... 110 ...


Finally, a rather long-winded one...

10) How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties.

"So it's agreed! I'll change the light bulb for $2,000 per hour."
(Although I'll actually get a junior legal assistant to do it, but still charge
you as if a senior partner did it, and then pad the hours out as well.)

The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1. The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being non-negotiable.

2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.

3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by any or all persons authorized by him, the objective being to produce the most possible revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as "Partnership."

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Legal note: The caption to the lawyer photo is in no way intended to imply that all lawyers engage in fraudulent behavior. Just some of them, not all of them.

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Despite the name, my sci-fi short story 'The Darkness And The Light' doesn't feature any light bulbs. Instead, it features ... well, if you want to find out you'll have to download it!