Random superhero related thoughts (part 2)

As I'm sure all superhero fans will be aware, this week saw the release of the controversial new Joker movie from DC Comics. Although technically the Joker is a villain, not a hero obviously, I nevertheless thought this would be an appropriate time to round up another collection of random superhero themed thoughts...

"Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry."
#Hangry

1) A flawed disguise

Superman wears glasses to disguise his identity, so does his optician know his true identity?

2) More than he can stomach

If the Hulk ate as much as he could until he was absolutely full, then he turned back into Bruce Banner, would his stomach explode?

3) Keep out of the sun

In real life Batman's secret identity wouldn't stay secret for long, because his tan-lines would give him away.

4) Banned from the Olympics

"Do as I say, not as I do."
Captain America is a hypocrite.

Most Marvel superheroes are either born with their powers, or they get their powers via radiation.

Except for Captain America who got his powers through the 'super-soldier serum' which was basically performance enhancing drugs. If he ever gave an anti-drug talk, it would be really hypocritical!

5) "It's like raaay-eee-aain..."

If I was a superhero, I'd call myself Ironic. Then whenever there was trouble I would run away, so that people would say, "Isn't that ironic?!" And they'd be right in more ways than one.

6) Back to square one

Spiderman.
Always found where there are tall buildings.

Daredevil is basically a blind superhero whose superpower is that he can see.

7) Criminals never learn

Top tip for criminals. Make things difficult for Spider-Man by only stealing stuff from places where there are no tall buildings.

8) Must try harder!

Batman has been 'ridding Gotham of crime' for decades now and it's still full of criminals. He's doing a really bad job!

Aliens beware!

9) Stay clear of Earth!

Maybe aliens haven't invaded us because they can see our transmissions but have no concept of entertainment. So they see The Avengers movies and think, "Woah! They're really tough! We don't want to fight the Avengers! We'd better find a different planet to invade."

10) Real heroes

If Wolverine was a real hero, he could use his healing factor to help hundreds of people by donating his organs over and over again every day.

Footnote: Apparently it's really painful for Wolverine to regrow his organs, so perhaps I've been too harsh on him.

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You can find more superhero themed random thoughts in my earlier superhero themed posts:
Superhero jokes
Random superhero related thoughts (part 1)