Amazon ███ ██████ have acted in a way which I find somewhat frustrating.

I'll get straight to the point. Amazon are ██████! (Editor's comment: Charles, you can't say that! I've therefore taken the liberty of censoring your comment, and replacing it with the following more diplomatic response.) Amazon have acted in a way which I find somewhat frustrating.

 
Now allow me to go into more detail as to why Amazon are ██████ have acted in a way which I find somewhat frustrating.

'A nice fifteen minute story.'

Just one of many reviews which give subtle clues that
'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'
is a story, not an instruction manual.

A few years ago I published a humorous short story entitled 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It (A Short Story)' on Amazon. My short story had lots of positive feedback from readers and received a number of four and five star reviews, some of which I have included in this blog post.

Obviously to anyone with half a brain it was obvious that 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It (A Short Story)' was a fictional short story and not a 'How To' guide. However, to clarify that it was a short story, I took the following actions:

1) I included the parenthesised words '(A Short Story)' in the title.
2) I categorised it in the 'fiction' category.
3) I included the following disclaimer in the blurb:

Nice reviews (part 3)

I've received quite a few reviews since my last round-up of nice reviews, so big thanks to everyone who left a review and gave constructive feedback on Amazon.

There are actually too many reviews to include them all, but here are a few of them...

1) How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, And Other Short Stories

To start things off, here's a rather nice review of my crime themed collection of short stories entitled 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, And Other Short Stories'.

Five stars: "Such a fun read!!"

"I really love this author's sense of humor. Every story was original and very well written. Keep up the good work!! So everyone, try this author out. You won't be disappointed. (I hate being disappointed.) ;)"

Thanks for the encouragement, Peggy, and for the recommendation!

More nice reviews

It's been a few months since I released my short story, 'We Come In Peace', and I'm happy to say I've had a couple of nice reviews. My recent short stories have also been getting a lot more downloads than I usually get, so all in all I'm really pleased.

Here are the reviews of 'We Come In Peace', together with a few reviews of some of my earlier short stories:

1) We Come In Peace

Here's the first review...

"Great short story, funny and clever."

Book reviews (part 16)

It's time for another batch of book reviews as Charles Fudgemuffin offers his opinion on books from the genres of humour, mystery and suspense, romantic comedy, and crime, with a round up of reviews of books by authors  Douglas Adams, Stieg Larsson, David Nicholls and Håkan Nesser.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency
by Douglas Adams

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams – 4.5 / 5.0

I’m a big fan of Douglas Adams so I was pleased to discover within a few pages that Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency has that unmistakable unique Douglas Adams sense of brilliant weirdness about it. Although primarily a comedy book, it also features the sort of imaginatively creative off-the-wall science fiction ideas which Douglas Adams crams into all of his novels.

Although Dirk Gently is maybe not quite in the very same league as The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books, this is nevertheless still a very enjoyable book so if you’re a fan of ‘Hitchhikers’ then it’s a pretty much safe bet that you will also love this book.

The World According To The Man In The Pub 2

Can a gecko support its entire body weight with only one toe?

I'm a fan of weird trivia and I also like 'true or false' quizzes, so a book which instantly appealed to me was 'The World According To The Man In The Pub 2' by Robert Anwood.

It's full of dubious 'pub facts', i.e. interesting claims which are often reported by pub patrons as facts. In some cases the claims are indeed true, but in other cases the claims are as ridiculous as they sound.

The pub facts are grouped together into various categories, such as science, sports and showbiz, and to give you an idea of what to expect, here's a brief sample of the type of facts and misfacts found in the book. See if you can guess which of the following pub facts are true, and which are fictitious...

1) A gecko's skin is so sticky that it can support its entire body weight clinging upside down to the ceiling by only one toe.
True or false?

Book reviews (part 15)

Charles Fudgemuffin reviews a selection of books from the genres of light humour, general fiction, comedy and historical fiction.

Friends, Lovers, Chocolate by Alexander McCall Smith

Friends, Lovers, Chocolate by Alexander McCall-Smith - 4.2 / 5.0

Nothing much seemed to happen in the first couple of chapters of Friends, Lovers, Chocolate, but once it got going I found myself really looking forward to my daily reading sessions.

Isobel Dalhousie meets a heart transplant patient who believes his new heart has brought with it memories of its previous owner, and Isobel's curious nature means she can't help herself from investigating further.

I have to admit I found the ending slightly disappointing, but overall this was an enjoyable book with some interesting ideas.

Book reviews (part 14)

It's time for another round-up of book reviews and this week I take a look at books from the genres of non-fiction, comedy, action and sci-fi.

A Brief History Of Time by Stephen Hawking

A Brief History Of Time by Stephen Hawking - 3.9 / 5.0

I found some parts of A Brief History Of Time fascinating, but on occasions there were a few sections that were a little less interesting. The enjoyable chapters were the sections where you could quickly read through it and the theories were all fairly straight forward and easy to take in, but there were also other more complicated chapters involving less conventional scenarios (in terms of everyday life), and this was when you had to concentrate a bit more and it felt more like doing homework.

That said, there were one or two sections where Stephen has overlooked some really obvious points, and I suspect it's a case of the 'emperor's new clothes' that no-one has pointed these out to him. Overall though, given the subject matter Stephen Hawking has written a reasonably entertaining book.

An Idiot Abroad quotes

"Wow!  Look at that old ice!"

From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I feature book reviews, and one book which I thoroughly enjoyed was An Idiot Abroad 2 by Karl Pilkington.

The sense of humour will probably appeal to some people more than others, so rather than review the book, I thought I would sum it up with a selection of quotes which illustrate the logic and wisdom of Karl Pilkington…

Street entertainers...

1) "I’ve always found it odd how tourists take photographs of mime artists. Everyone looks like a mime in a photo."



Glaciers…

2) “He was telling me that some of these glaciers are millions of years old, but I can’t get excited about old ice. Ice is ice. You never see someone on Antiques Roadshow turning up with a block of ice for a reason.”


3) “I can’t imagine if the question on Family Fortunes was ‘What would you like to do before you die?’ that ‘Touch some old ice’ would be a top answer.”

Book reviews (part 13)

It's time for another round-up of book reviews, and this week I take a look at books from the genres of crime, humour, crime (again) and non-fiction...

Snow White Must Die by Nele Neuhaus

Snow White Must Die by Nele Neuhaus - 4.5 / 5.0

Snow White Must Die is a crime mystery which focuses on events in a small German village after Tobias Sartorius is released from jail having served a ten year sentence for the double murder of two former girlfriends. There are a lot of plot threads and puzzles to work out, but it all fits together very well and comes across as very plausible, and author Nele Neuhaus provides a well presented ending. Also, the story focuses more on the mystery behind the crimes, rather than the grisly details, which is what I personally prefer.

One small criticism is that I would perhaps have preferred to see some clues or insights into what actually happened provided a little sooner, but all in all this was an enjoyable crime mystery and I'll definitely be loooking out for future translations of Nele Neuhaus' work.

Book reviews (part 12)

It's time for another batch of book related opinions, as I take a look at two books from two of my favourite authors - Alexander McCall Smith and John Grisham - and also a couple of humorous books from other authors...

Morality For Beautiful Girls
by Alexander McCall Smith

Morality For Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith - 4.5 / 5.0

In this the third book in the No.1 Ladies Detetive Agency series Precious Ramotswe deals with the issue of relocating the detective agency to the offices of Mr J.L.B. Matekoni's garage. She also investigates the out of character behaviour from Rra Matekoni himself, as well as a couple of cases involving an unusual orphan and a potential poisoning.

This is another enjoyable account of Mma Ramotswe's eventful life, and any fans of the first two books will once again appreciate Morality For Beautiful Girls as the format is the same. The narrative also contains the occasional brief passage which summarises the most significant events of the first two books, so this third book could quite easily be read as a stand-alone book by any new readers.

Book reviews (part 11)

It's time for another round-up of book reviews, as I take a look at books from the genres of comedy, crime and thrillers...

The Awkward Detective: The Bone Donor
by Wright Forbucks

The Awkward Detective: The Bone Donor by Wright Forbucks - 4.8 / 5.0

The Awkward Detective: The Bone Donor tells the story of Jason Mashburn who falls for Molly Wilson, a girl who suffers from a rare blood disease. On learning of Molly's condition, Jason decides he is prepared to do whatever it takes to save the girl of his dreams. However, being a Wright Forbucks novel, there are several clever and unexpected twists along the way. The ending in particular was very well written, bringing together the various plot threads and answering all of my questions, and also answering a few questions I didn't realise need answered!

Wright Forbucks is one of my favourite authors and this is another highly original and unique tale featuring his dark offbeat sense of humour.

Book reviews (part 10)

It's time for another batch of book reviews, and this week I take a look at the varied themes of genocide, teenage school life, revenge and philosophy...

Sudan by Ninie Hammon

Sudan by Ninie Hammon - 4.8 / 5.0

Sudan by Ninie Hammon deals with the government organised genocide in Sudan, so as you'd expect given the subject matter it's pretty heavy reading at times and doesn't pull any punches. It's a fictional story, but all of the horrific events described in the book are based on actual atrocities that have taken place in Sudan.

Author Ninie Hammon doesn't sugar coat things, so the powerful writing will pull on your heart-strings at times, but Sudan is a brilliant book and an important book that deserves and needs to be read by a bigger audience. If it was produced in a way which captured the emotion of the book, then Sudan would also make a very powerful movie or TV series.

Book reviews (part 9)

It's been several months since I last reported on some of the books I've been reading, so here's another batch of book reviews...

The World According To Humphrey by Betty G.Birney

The World According To Humphrey by Betty G. Birney - 4.9 / 5.0

The World According To Humphrey is told through the eyes of Humphrey the Hamster, the classroom pet of room 26. The kids take it in turns to look after Humphrey for the weekend, and on his travels Humphrey gets up to all sorts of interesting adventures, and manages to help the children's families solve a few problems along the way.

It's a book intended for children, but it's written in a lovely heart-warming style, and Humphrey is such a likeable little character that you can't help but enjoy his adventures, however old you are. I loved it and I suspect that many adults who still have a fun side to them will also love this book, as it's written in such a magical way. Highly recommended for kids of all ages!

How not to write a helpful book review

Three unhelpful but amusing book reviews.

A few months ago I offered my opinion on how to write a helpful book review, and as a follow-up I thought it would be interesting to take a look at the flipside of the coin, namely how not to write a helpful book review. So to illustrate some of the pitfalls to avoid, here are a selection of poorly written book reviews found on Amazon...

"Many tourists visit Egypt every year but I couldn't
tell you what it's like because I've never been. 3/5."
...Travel News Magazine (#NotReally)

1) The Works Of Edgar Allen Poe (Volume 4) by Edgar Allen Poe

First up is a book 'review' which highlights perhaps the most important thing of all to consider when writing a book review. It's a review of The Works Of Edgar Allen Poe (Volume 4), and the review reads:

"I got this because it was free but I have not got around to reading it yet. 3/5"

I had to chuckle at the reply that someone has left:

"Thanks - really informative. It is always useful to read a book review from someone who has not read it."

So my first tip for anyone writing a book review would perhaps be an obvious one. When writing a book review, always ensure that you have actually read the book before you review it!

Book reviews (part 8)

Most of the books I've read over the last few months have been by my favourite authors, but I've also sampled a few authors who are new to my reading list. Here's another selection of book reviews from some of the books and short stories I've recently been reading.

I, Partridge by Alan Partridge

I, Partridge - We Need To Talk About Alan by Alan Partridge - 5.0 / 5.0

One of the first reviews I read of 'I, Partridge' called it, "The funniest book of the year, and possibly all time," and I would have to agree. Even if you had never heard of Alan Partridge before or never seen any of his shows, this would still be a hilarious book with several laugh out loud moments on every page.

If you're already an Alan Partridge fan, then some of the chapters where he describes events already seen on his TV shows are especially amusing, particularly when Alan recalls certain events through his rose-tinted memories and portrays himself in a favourable, often heroic, light when the reality was somewhat different.

How to write a hepful book review

Charles Fudgemuffin highlights the key point that all good reviewers are aware of.

"...slow acoustic piano rubbish. 5/5"
A helpful review.

In the music press, when someone writes a negative review which proves unpopular with fans of the band, the reviewer will often defend their review by claiming that a review is just one person's opinion.

On the face of it, this seems fair enough, but what all reviewers need to realise is that no-one actually cares whether the reviewer enjoyed the book, movie or album, etc. When I read a review, all I care about is 'will I enjoy this book?'.

To give an example, I remember a few years ago a favourite artist of mine released a new single which I hadn't yet heard, and I therefore asked my mate for his opinion on the song. His reply was something along the lines of, "It's that slow acoustic piano rubbish... You'll love it!"

It probably sounds as if he was being quite cheeky, but that wasn't his intention at all. He simply understood the concept of a good review. I wasn't interested in whether or not my mate enjoyed the song. I just wanted to know whether I'd enjoy it. And so my mate reviewed the song with that in mind and explained that it was that 'slow acoustic piano rubbish' which I happen to love.

Book reviews (part 7)

It's time for another round up of some of the books and short stories which I've recently been reading.

Incidents In The Life Of A Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs

Incidents In The Life Of A Slave Girl by Herself - 4.8 / 5.0

If you've ever felt fed up with some trivial part of your life then read this book and it'll help to put things back into perspective, and make you realise how lucky we are to live with the freedoms we take for granted. At times it was heart-breaking to read about the inhumane horrors that went on in centuries gone by, but this is also a story of hope, and as well as describing the evil of slavery it also recounts Harriet Jacobs' quest for freedom (written using the pen-name Linda Brent).

I'm not usually a fan of historical books, but it was a very humbling experience to read Incidents In The Life Of A Slave Girl, and this is a book which stays on your mind long after you finish reading it. As it's out of copyright you can download it for free from Amazon for Kindle, so there's nothing to lose by giving it a try.

Update: Amazon have now started charging for it, but you should be able to find it elsewhere for free.

Book reviews (part 6)

I've enjoyed quite a few books and short stories over the past couple of months, so here's another batch of reviews.

The Ants Are Coming by Bruce Bullock

The Ants Are Coming by Bruce Bullock - 4.8 / 5.0

The Ants Are Coming is an excellently written account of an African village where the villagers are forced to evacuate their homes due to the approach of millions of red siafu ants.  I loved this short story and I suspect that anyone with an interest in or appreciation of Africa will also thoroughly enjoy it.

The story is told in a very matter-of-fact way and this style works well as the author expertly describes the horror of nature and the response of the villagers to the oncoming threat of the siafu ants.

Book reviews (part 5)

I've spent a lot of time relaxing on beaches over the last few months, so as a result I've been able to enjoy a number of interesting books, so here's another batch of reviews of books and short stories which I've recently been reading...

The Walking Man by Wright Forbucks - 4.9 / 5.0

I loved this book. Within a few pages I felt like I already really knew the characters, thanks to brilliant characterisation, and just the right balance of dialogue and narration. There are a lot of ingredients in the mix; humour, inspiration, dark moments and also a few twists along the way. At times I found myself laughing and then thinking, 'I shouldn't really be laughing at this,' because the humour can be a bit dark, but the strength of the writing and the way it is handled means that the humour never really crosses the line into feeling uncomfortable.

The author has created characters who you can at times dislike and at other times sympathise with and even admire, and The Walking Man is an excellent example of how brilliant indie books can be. Strongly recommended.

Book reviews (part 4)

It's been a while since I last featured any book reviews on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so here are a few more opinions on books and short stories that I've recently been reading.

The 2½ Pillars Of Wisdom by Alexander McCall Smith - 4.7 / 5.0

The 2½ Pillars Of Wisdom collects three novellas which describe the adventures of three very tall professors at Regensburg University, primarily focusing on the pompously amusing Professor Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld. Each novella is itself a collection of short stories and although I enjoyed all three novellas, it was the second volume, The Finer Points Of Sausage Dogs, which was definitely my favourite. I read this section of the book on the beach while on holiday and at times I was laughing away to myself so much that anyone else nearby on the beach must have thought I was a bit strange.

I'm a big fan of the 'No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency' books so overall I was delighted to discover that once again Alexander McCall Smith has created some excellent characters who are involved in some charming and memorable stories.