Nerd jokes (part 8)

If you're someone who can appreciate nerd humor, then good news! That's because it's time to put on your thinking cap, adjust your glasses* and prepare for another collection of nerd jokes.

* Apologies for the sterotypical nerd reference. Non-glasses wearing nerds are also welcome to read this week's jokes.

Alternatively, if you're not someone who appreciates nerd jokes, then I suggest you look elsewhere! Although if you do want to read the following jokes anyway, then you're welcome to hang around.

1) To start things off, here's a nerd meme for fans of precious metals.

Credit: imgur

Editor's note: "Technically, Charles, copper isn't a precious metal."
Charles: "Fine! Here's a nerd meme for fans of precious metals and copper."
Editor: "Thank you. That's better."

Nerd jokes (part (4x8)-(5x5))

If you've solved the sum in the title, then you'll know that this week's blog post is nerd jokes part 7. If you haven't solved the sum in the title, then you'll know anyway, because I've just told you!

A nerd, pictured three days before overmorrow.

Anyway, here's another batch of jokes with a nerdish theme to them...

1) There are three types of people in the world.
Those who can count, and those who can't!



2) The teacher gave us homework and said she wanted us to show that we understood fractions...

...so I only did half of it.

A Merry Christmas message for nerds!

At Christmas time it's traditional to wish others a Merry Christmas, and that's a tradition which I like to respect here on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog.

This year to mix things up a little, the Christmas message from Charles Fudgemuffin is specifically aimed at nerds. So without further ado, here's this year's Christmas message...

10 nerd jokes (Part 86 - (8 x 10))

A nerd, pictured yesterday.

Nerd jokes appeal to my nerdish sense of humour, so as it's been over a year since my last collection of nerd jokes, here's another batch of nerdish puns...

1) I failed my maths exam because I couldn’t remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 as Roman numerals.
IM LIVID



2) How do you turn a 3D printer into a 4D printer?
Just give it time.

10 nerd jokes (part (5x4)-(6+9))

It's been over a year since I last featured any nerd jokes on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so that means we're long overdue for another round-up of nerd-inspired paronomasia...

Assault with a salt.

1) If I had 50 pence for every time I got a maths question wrong...
...I'd have £3.76!


2) Breaking news: A teacher has been charged with throwing sodium chloride at a student.
That's a salt.


3) Why is Stephen such a neutral name?
Because its ph is in the middle.

10 nerd jokes (part 4)

Three sheep.
Or if you round up to the nearest hundred, one hundred sheep.

Before I get to this week's round-up of nerd jokes, I'll start things off with an impossible promise from Bill Clinton which I think he might struggle to achieve...

1) "Every American should have above average income, and my administration is going to see they get it."
...Bill Clinton


2) I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison, but unfortunately you can't end a sentence with a proposition.


3) After working in the farmer's field one day, a sheepdog reported back to the farmer...

Sheepdog: "That's me finished for the day. All 100 sheep are in the sheep pen."
Farmer: "100 sheep? But I only have 98 sheep."
Sheepdog: "Yeah, but I rounded them up."

10 nerd jokes (part 3)

Salt.
One of the ingredients in pun number 2.

I've mentioned before that I'm a fan of nerd related humour, so I therefore reckon it's time for another round-up of nerd jokes.

Apologies to any non-nerds for this overdose of nerdosity, but for fans of nerd jokes this latest batch of jokes features photons, root beer, and paradoxical psychologists.

1) A photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."


2) What happened when salt was touched by holy water?
Solvation.


3) How did the nerd make beer?
He put his root beer in a square cup.

10 more nerd jokes (part 2)

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've got a bit of a soft spot for nerd jokes, so as it's been a while since I last featured any nerd jokes on my blog I think therefore that means it's time for another round up, with this week's batch of nerdosity featuring ducks, functions, and radioactive cats.

"Quark!"

Once again, apologies to any non-nerds for this overdose of nerdiness, but for anyone who enjoys nerd jokes, let's start things off with a really cheesy joke...

1) What does a subatomic duck say? Quark.


2) A logician tells his mate his wife has just had a baby.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" his mate asks.
"Yes," the logician replies.


3) What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

10 nerd jokes (part 1)

Binary code ... or is it?

Last week I rounded off my post '10 things in life worth knowing' with a daft nerd joke regarding binary code.

I have to admit that I've got a bit of a soft spot for nerd jokes, so this week I thought I would round up a few of my favourite nerd jokes and puzzles in a post creatively entitled '10 nerd jokes'.

Also, just to clarify, this time I'm talking in decimal rather than binary code, so this time there are actually ten rather than two. Non-nerds are therefore advised to stop reading now.

Some of these are quite old so apologies if anyone's heard most of them before, but anyway here are a few of my favourite nerd jokes, featuring maths, hadrons, and pizza.

1) There are 10 kinds of people in this world...
Those who know binary code and those who don't.


2) Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O."  The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he died.

10 things in life worth knowing

The importance of knowledge.

Floppybobble Lane, just off Spludgington Avenue.

A few years ago, I once read a magazine article which discussed the importance of knowledge. It argued that some knowledge is more important than others obviously, for example, the knowledge of how to stay healthy and prevent diseases is more important than the knowledge of what happened in Coronation Street last night. However, the article highlighted that even some trivial knowledge can sometimes prove useful.

The claims of this magazine article were on my mind one day as I was walking to my mate's house, and so as I was walking along I decided to look out for the street signs I passed and made a mental note of the street names, thus increasing my knowledge of the local area.