Sunday, 30 June 2013

10 Nerd Jokes

Maths, Chemistry and total hadrons...

Binary code ... or is it?
Last week I rounded off my post '10 Things In Life Worth Knowing' with a daft nerd joke regarding binary code.

I have to admit that I've got a bit of a soft spot for nerd jokes, so this week I thought I would round up a few of my favourite nerd jokes and puzzles in a post creatively entitled '10 Nerd Jokes'.

Also, just to clarify, this time I'm talking in decimal rather than binary code, so this time there are actually ten rather than two.  Non-nerds are therefore advised to stop reading now.

Some of these are quite old so apologies if anyone's heard most of them before, but anyway here are a few of my favourite nerd jokes, starting off with a joke on a similar theme to last week's post...

1) There are 10 kinds of people in this world:
Those who know binary code and those who don't.

2) Two scientists walk into a bar.  The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O."  The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too."  Then he died.

3) The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.  It was tense.

4) I have to admit that when scientists discovered the Higgs Boson last year I was so excited it gave me a total hadron.

5) Alcohol and calculus don't mix, so don't drink and derive.

Pi z z a
6) What is the volume of a pizza with a radius of ‘z’ and a thickness of ‘a’?
Pi z z a (Pi r2 x height)

7) There are two types of people in the world:
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data…

8) Why do mathematicians always get Halloween and Christmas confused?
Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

9) If the number 666 represents evil, is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

10) And finally this last one is actually a true statement.  The majority of people have an above average number of legs.  (As long as you use the mean average and not the median or mode).

Most of the above are fairly straight forward to understand, but number 8 might have confused a few people, so here's the explanation:

10 in octimal (base 8) is equal to 8 in decimal, so:
OCT 10 = DEC 8
OCT 20 = DEC 16 (8 x 2)
OCT 30 = DEC 24 (8 x 3)
OCT 31 = DEC 25 (24 + 1)

This post was compiled by Charles Fudgemuffin.
Charles' 'How To Save The World' books
are available from Amazon.
Hopefully that's explained the logic behind number eight and apologies if anyone thinks that including an explanation is a bit patronising*.

* 'Patronising' means when you talk down to someone.

Anyway, that was ten nerd jokes and if anyone wants to check out last week's post which I rounded off with a nerd joke then this is the link:
10 Things In Life Worth Knowing

Follow Charles Fudgemuffin on facebook and twitter:
Facebook: Charles Fudgemuffin
Twitter: @CFudgemuffin 

Update:  You can find a further batch of nerd jokes in the follow-up post found at the link below:
10 More Nerd Jokes

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.