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| "Dear Santa, For Christmas please can I have..." |
1) An unusual request
"We've been talking about what the kids want for Christmas and Thomas just said what he really wants from Santa is chest hairs! He's a one off."
I have to admit that when I was younger and I wrote out my Christmas list, chest hairs was never something I asked for.
2) All dolls great and small
I love the way this next conversation highlights the creative ways that kids will justify the need for more stuff...
Me: "What do you want for Christmas?"
6 year old: "An Elsa doll."
Me: "You already have a big one and a small one."
6 year old: "I don't have a medium one."
Credit: @XplodingUnicorn
3) Christmas crimes
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| A neighbour's house, pictured in February. |
"There's a cop at my neighbor's house and my son said, 'It’s probably because they still have their Christmas lights up!'"
Governments have been on a power grab since the WuFlu, but as far as I'm aware they haven't yet passed any laws specifying acceptable dates for Christmas decorations.
Credit: @magical_mand
4) The Twelve Days Of Human Trafficking
Here's one kid who obviously gives a lot of thought to song lyrics...
"My son and I are listening to 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' and he says, 'This sound like human trafficking. How are you going to give someone eight maids, nine ladies, and ten lords?'"
You can't argue with logic like that!
Credit: @iBourgie
5) Santa goes 1984
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| Big Santa is watching you. |
Kids are always asking questions, but here's one kid who already knows the answer...
Me: "You better eat your tea as Father Christmas is watching you."
5yr old: "But how?"
6yr old: "I think he has security cameras everywhere."
So that's how Santa knows who's been naughty and who's been nice! He's gone full Big Brother!
Credit: @ericamorecambe
6) Advice for Santa
Here's an innocent, but amusing, story from reddit:
"My child was looking at another kid's Christmas present, a poorly carved boat, in the park when he was sat on his new bike. 'Why does Santa give the poor children such rubbish presents?' he complained. 'They should get the best ones!'"
Yeah, Santa! Try to be a bit more thoughtful in future!
7) Trust issues
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| "There are 23 days until Christmas, human." "Have we obtained your trust so we can harvest you without resistance?" |
My 9 yr old: "How long until Christmas?"
Me: "23 days."
9 yr old: "Alexa, how many days until Christmas?"
Me: "What?! Why do you trust Alexa over me?"
9 yr old: "Because Alexa is A.I. that will eventually take over the world."
Just because Alexa is a potential megalomanic, that doesn't necessarily mean she's right.
Credit: @alegna7896
8) Poor arithmetic
Here's one kid who isn't that great at basic sums...
"Doing some early Christmas shopping and there was a little boy pointing at a toy and he goes, 'Mom I’ve wanted this for the last 5 years.'
His mom goes, 'You're 4, so that’s weird.'"
I think that kid is going to grow up to be a politician.
Credit: @Kelsealiz
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| "What a coincidence! Santa has used the same wrapping paper as us ... again." |
9) A junior detective
That awkward moment when kids start to realise Santa isn't real...
"My 9 year old just asked me if 'Santa is going to use the same wrapping paper as us again.'"
Credit: @VikingJonesy
Editor's note: "For the benefit of any kids reading this, obviously Charles is wrong and of course Santa is real! After all, the BBC confirmed that Santa is real, and the BBC would definitely never lie!" **shifty eyes**
10) Stating the obvious
Finally, this last quote sums up the weird logic of how kids' brains work...
Grandma: "What did you get for Christmas?"
Child: "Presents."
Grandma: "What kind of presents?"
Child: "CHRISTMAS presents!"
Silly grandma! What kind of presents did you think they were going to get for Christmas? Birthday presents!? Tut!
If you're looking for more funny Christmas related things kids say, then check out the following amusing survey of what kids think Santa gets up to when he isn't delivering presents:
How does Santa spend his free time?
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