Funny reviews

I recently reported on a disgruntled Indian woman who purchased my short story 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It' then left an amusing review warning other readers not to buy it, because it was a short story, and not an instruction manual on how to kill her husband as she had expected.

On that theme, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a round up of other amusing reviews which brought a chuckle to my face.

1) "Too sandy"

To start things off, here's one reviewer who apparently doesn't seem to understand how beaches work...

"Bah! This beach is full of sand!"

"It's a great beach, just too sandy."

Sand on a beach! What exactly did they expect from a beach?

2) Something we've all experienced, apparently

To set the scene, this next review is a review of a manga graphic novel called 'That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime'. In case it isn't clear from the title, the story is about a character who gets reincarnated as a slime.

You can therefore probably see why I was surprised by this next review which described it as 'a fun adventure that readers will relate to.'

"A fun advernture that readers will relate to."

"Wow! This story is so relatable! It reminds me - as I'm sure it will all readers - of the time that I was reincarnated as a slime."

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say I'm pretty sure most readers won't relate to the experience of being reincarnated as a slime!

3) A Thrilling Experience

The next product to be reviewed is the book 'A Million Random Digits' which, as you've probably already worked out, contains a million random digits.

The reviews so far have been unintentionally amusing, but in this case the reviewer left a deliberately silly review...

"Thrilling!"

"Super thrilling read."

If you haven't read 'A Million Random Digits' yet, then here's a spoiler alert:

"91238213081384762346319045767910734816097325094643124946781307467264527645746274"

4) A controversial aquarium

Next up is a review of an aquarium called The Deep in Hull. One line in particular had me laughing to myself, and remember, this is a review of an aquarium...

"Nothing of interest except fish."

Nothing of interest except fish!? Fish? In an aquarium? Do they understand what an aquarium is?

I mean, what did they expect to find in an aquarium? Sydney Opera House? The Hanging Gardens Of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically...

5) Local bus company

This next review is from someone who left a positive review of his local bus company, but after an unfortunate experience they then later decided to update their review. It's one of those where you shouldn't laugh, but you just can't help yourself.

"I must downgrade this to 3 stars after the last bus I was on ran over 2 pedestrians and kept going."

Three stars!? I can understand why you would want to downgrade your review after a bus driver ran two people over and didn't stop, but three stars!? Seriously, what exactly would the bus driver have to do to merit one star!?

6) A famous reviewer

Finally, here's a review on Yelp of the theatre where Abraham Lincoln was assasssinated.

A review from Abraham Lincoln

"Was murdered here. Would not recommend."

Two stars for the place of your assassination seems a little generous if you ask me!

You can find more amusing reviews in my previous blog posts:
Funny Amazon reviews
Giving excellent stuff the credit it deserves
How NOT to write a helpful book review