Funny things kids say (part 11)

It's been over a year since my last round-up of amusing comments by children, but the wait is finally over! That's because this week the Charles Fudgemuffin features another long overdue batch of funny things that kids say.

Cabbages.
Surely the dream of all those who aspire to be rich.

1) Vegetables are a girl's best friend

To start things off, here's an interview from an amusing old TV show:

Interviewer: "What would you buy if you were rich?"
Kid: "Cabbages! And lettuce, and carrots."

I have to admit, cabbages aren't the first thing I'd buy if I came into money, but each to their own.

2) The voice of experience?

"Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick."
...Lauren, 9.

I can't help wondering, was she talking from personal experience?

3) Diplomatic dining

A great account to follow on twitter is @XplodingUnicorn. Although apparently, he's not so great when it comes to cooking...

9 year old: *tastes my new recipe*
Me: "What do you think?"
9 year old: "Do you want me to be honest or nice?"

Ha, ha! You can have an honest answer, or a polite answer, but you can't have both.

4) Thug love

This next kid had to write his mom a thank you note for Mother's Day...

"Dear mom

Thank you so much for being my mom. If I had a different mom I would punch her in the face and go find you.

Love, Brooke."

Ar ... how sweet / violent. (Delete as appropriate.)

Credit: Straits Times

5) A polite retirement

This kid isn't falling for his grandpa's code words...

Grandpa: "Let me take you to where I used to work."
Kid: "Did they fire you?"
Grandpa: "No, I retired."
Kid: "Mom, is retired just a polite way of saying someone got fired?"

6) Out of stock essentials

Here's a status from facebook which was posted during the corona government lockdowns.

"Just asked my 6 year old if he understands why there is no school. He said, 'Yes, because they are out of toilet paper.'"

School's out ... of toilet roll!

A mushroom looking smug at how appropriately designed it is.

7) Expert design

Next up, here's a logical piece of wisdom from a smart kid:

"Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas."

Credit: giraffian

I wonder if there's actually some truth in this?

8)'Animal' noises

Here's a conversation from twitter that shows that kids pay attention to adult conversations...

"My 5 year old teaching my 1 year old animal noises...

5 year old: "The cow says 'moo'."
1 year old: "Moo."
5: "The sheep says 'baa'."
1: "Baa."
5: "Mummy says 'blah blah blah'."
Me: "What!?"
1: "Blah blah."

A king from chess, pictured in order to avoid
copyright issues involving the real king.

9) Acrobatic royalty

This was a clip from a news report when King Charles III became the new king...

Presenter: "What advice would you give our new king? What would you like to see him do?"
Kid: "Hmm ... (long thoughtful pause) ... do a backflip!"

Yes, I 'd quite like to see that as well! Although I suspect that's not really the type of answer the interviewer was expecting!

10) Veiled insult

Finally, here's a quote from a kid on twitter who was trying to be nice, but unwittingly delivered a hidden insult...

Daisy: "I'll make you prettier when I draw you."

Just what exactly are they implying!

Credit: @kiddyum

You can find more amusing comments from kids below:
Funny things kids say (part 9)
Funny things kids say (part 10)