Funny things kids say (part 10)

A theme I often like to feature on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog is funny quotes by kids. In fact it's featured so often that this is the tenth instalment of 'funny things kids say'!

Anyway, here's another collection of amusing things said by kids...

One kid would rather have a puppy than a brother or sister.

1) Kid's best friend

To start things off, here's a conversation from a video clip that was posted on twitter by @FunnymanPage.

Parent: "Do you want a brother or a sister?"
Kid: "A puppy!"

To be fair, puppies are pretty cool.

2) Incredible!

This funny story from the giraffian website made me chuckle:

My daughter was watching me while I was on facebook, and saw my 'friends'. One of my friends has an image of Edna from The Incredibles as her profile photo, a movie our family loves, especially my daughter! In total amazement, she immediately said, "You know EDNA!?!?!"

It must be so exciting as a kid to discover your parent is apparently friends with one of your favourite cartoon characters!

3) 'Properly'

I think it's fair to say that kids and parents often have different standards of acceptability, and here's one example of that...

Me: "Did you put your plates in the dishwasher?"
Kids: "Yes."
Me: "Did you put them in properly?"
Kids: "Yes."
Dishwasher:

Credit: @MumInBits

To be fair, the grey plate has been put in properly, but then again, that looks like an adult sized plate.

4) Career choices

When I was a kid, like many kids I wanted to be an astronaut, but this next kid has a unique amibition...

4 year old: "I’m going to be a skateboard when I grow up!"

Credit: @kevinthedad

Just to clarify, not a skateboarder, but a skateboard.

5) You are what you eat

Food.

Incidentally, why do websites have captions for their photos?
Surely readers can work out what it is without captions.

Here's a story from reddit involving a child who hadn't yet been hindered by politcal correctness...

'My mum has told me this story.

When I was younger, we were at an all you can eat buffet restaurant. Apparently, as we were eating, a larger family walked through the doors. 6 year old me yells, "Whelp, there goes the profits."

I've been told it's very hard to scold a child when you're crying from laughter.'

I don't know what job he does now that he's older, but hopefully he's not a diplomat.

6) Now you see me...

There are many concept that adults just take for granted, like light and darkness for example. However, when you're a child some of these concepts can be new and confusing,

My toddler, who was not previously accustomed to being awake after dark, just looked outside and screamed, “Where is the backyard?!”

Credit: @Tweetsnwhatnot

Many kids find the dark scary, but I suppose the first time you notice it, it must be even more scary.

7) Forthright Frankie

Here's a piece of work completed by a very honest kid...

I earn money at home by: "I don't. I am a freeloader."

Well at least he's honest!

8) A touch of culture

When I was young I wasn't really that keen on visiting art galleries and museums, and other similar places like that which I thought were boring. However, Jessie's seven year old kid is oviously more cultured than I was as a child, because they left a very positive review of their local museum...

“They have really good mac n cheese.”

On a related theme, my cousin's son's favourite place for eating out for celebrations used to the cafe at Morrison's supermarket because he loved the fish fingers and chips.

9) Ninja wedding

A ninja on their way to a wedding.

One of my favourite accounts to follow on twitter is @XplodingUnicorn who posts regular updates featuring quotes of wisdom from his daughters. Here's an amusing quote that made me laugh...

7 year old: "When I get married, do I have to wear a white dress?"
Me: "You can wear whatever you want."
7 year old: "Even a ninja suit?"

I can just imagine the priest...

"Do you take this ninja to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

10) Food and toys

Finally, here's a window into the mind of a child from when my cousin brought her young daughter to visit her grandad...

Grandad: "Where have you been today?
3 year old: "We went to Aldi ... but grandad, they don't have any toys. They just have food."

There are many categories of shops, but it's funny how young kids categorise shops into only two categories. Those that sell toys, and those that don't.

You can find more amusing quotes from kids in my previous blog posts:
Funny things kids say (part 7)
Funny things kids say (part 8)
Funny things kids say (part 9)