Random superhero related thoughts

This week saw the release of the new Teen Titans movie from DC Comics, 'Teen Titans Go! To The Movies', so with that in mind, this week's blog post has a superhero theme to it.

"Hmm, what shall I call myself?
Mr Brilliant? Mr Excellent? No, I've got it!
Mr Fantastic!"

1) Mr Arrogant

The Fantastic Four chose their own names, and yet Reed Richards chose to call himself Mr Fantastic. What a bighead!

2) Useless powers

In real life Superman's 'super' hearing would be useless. Because of the speed of sound, any scream he heard from miles away would reach him after the victim was already dead.

3) Who needs eyelids?

Technically, superheroes with x-ray vision could walk around with their eyes shut all the time.

4) Oops!

Clark Kent would be outed as superman pretty fast if he ever accidentally pushed a pull door.

5) The hidden victims

In a universe filled with superheroes and super villains, insurance companies would go bankrupt within a few weeks.

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane?"
"Are you blind!? It's clearly a bird!
What sort of weird aeroplanes do you fly on!?"

6) Easily excited

The guy in the Superman intro who said, “Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird!” was strangely excited to see a bird.

7) Bad planning

In the movies, heroes always save the world just in the nick of time. If I was a villain, all my timers would activate when they reached 5, not 0.

8) Ahead of his time

Spider-Man made a living selling selfies long before selfies had even been invented.

9) Coming out

When a superhero reveals their identity, it should be called coming out of the phone booth.

Cungabowa!
Or something.

10) A flawed disguise

Why do the teenage mutant ninja turtles wear masks? Do they really think a mask is going to disguise who they are? How many other human-sized turtles are there who go round fighting crime using ninja moves?

Police officer: "And did you recognise the vigilantes who thwarted the criminals and saved the day?"
Witness: "No, sorry. They were wearing masks."
Police officer: "Could you describe their appearance?"
Witness: "Well, they were four turtles doing ninja-like moves of approximately teenage age."
Police officer: "Hmm, so we're looking for four teenage human-sized turtles doing ninja-like moves. If only they hadn't been wearing masks..."

Related posts:
Superhero jokes
Random superhero related thoughts (part 2)