Ten less common New Year's resolutions

Some wise, some unique and some just weird.

In a few days' time many people will be starting the new year by making New Year's resolutions with popular choices being to give up smoking, lose weight or to travel more and see new places. However, if you're thinking of making a less common resolution this year and looking for ideas, then here are a few non-conventional and less obvious New Year's resolutions I found dotted around the internet...

"I will never turn up drunk at court again. Hic!"

1) I will assure my lawyer that I will never turn up drunk at court ever again.

Hmm, yes.  That's probably a wise resolution to make.

2) I will take time to appreciate what I have achieved.

This is a resolution I think I might make as well. Obviously I've never climbed Everest or swam the channel or stuff like that, so I'm keeping things in perpective, but sometimes I set myself goals and then move straight on to the next thing without taking a few moments to allow myself a smile at having finished the thing I set out to do. So this year I'm going to allow myself a few more self-indulgent smiley moments.

3) I will lose weight by buying a more accurate set of scales.

Yes, blame the scales.

A worldwide Christmas message from Charles Fudgemuffin

A seasonal video message from Charles Fudgemuffin to blog readers all around the world.

Charles Fudgemuffin wearing his Christmas hat.

One of the cool things about having a blog is that you get to see all manner of statistics regarding your blog views. This allows you to quickly analyse your most popular posts, but it also provides other interesting insights such as where in the world your page views are coming from.

In line with my books sales, most of my blog hits tend to come from the United States and the United Kingdom, but there have been people viewing my blog from all around the world and even a few views from far flung places like Mongolia.

So for this year's Christmas message I thought I would make an extra effort and include an additional Christmas message especially for any Mongolian blog readers...

Christmas 'higher or lower' quiz

A Christmas themed quiz featuring festively inspired subjects such as kebabs, fireworks and council parking fees.

It's only a few days until Christmas, so to help get in the festive mood I've prepared a short Christmas themed quiz made up of 'higher or lower' conundrums. For each 'higher or lower' question I've listed two or more choices, so see if you can guess which option is the biggest, best, highest or heaviest. You can find the answers at the bottom of the page.

1) Weight gain due to excess eating and drinking over Christmas.

A kebab, pictured yesterday.

First up is a higher or lower conundrum I would guess that most people can identify with. A lot of people (not myself obviously but some people), may find that over-indulgence over the Christmas period leaves them carrying a few extra pounds once the New Year arrives.

But what weighs the most; the average weight gain each person puts on over the Christmas period, or two kebabs?

1) What weighs the most?

A) Average weight each person puts on over the Christmas period.
B) Weight of two kebabs.

Book reviews (part 4)

It's been a while since I last featured any book reviews on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so here are a few more opinions on books and short stories that I've recently been reading.

The 2½ Pillars Of Wisdom by Alexander McCall Smith - 4.7 / 5.0

The 2½ Pillars Of Wisdom collects three novellas which describe the adventures of three very tall professors at Regensburg University, primarily focusing on the pompously amusing Professor Dr Moritz-Maria von Igelfeld. Each novella is itself a collection of short stories and although I enjoyed all three novellas, it was the second volume, The Finer Points Of Sausage Dogs, which was definitely my favourite. I read this section of the book on the beach while on holiday and at times I was laughing away to myself so much that anyone else nearby on the beach must have thought I was a bit strange.

I'm a big fan of the 'No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency' books so overall I was delighted to discover that once again Alexander McCall Smith has created some excellent characters who are involved in some charming and memorable stories.

The karma police are on the lookout...

...for the sly person who left the following note.

iPhone 4 Version (640x960)

A few months ago a Swedish friend on facebook posted a photo of a note left under someone's windscreen wiper on their car. The note read:

"Hej,

Jag stötte bilen och någon såg mig, så nu är jag låtsas att skriva mina kontaktuppgifter på denna not.

Tack,

Hej då."

For the benefit of anyone who doesn't speak Swedish, the note reads:

"Hi,

I bumped your car and someone saw me, so now I'm pretending to write my contact details on this note.

Thanks,

Bye."

Ha, ha, ha. Very amusing. Actually, I hope it was a joke because if it was real it wouldn't be quite so amusing for the person whose car it was, obviously.

Anyway, I thought it deserved to be translated into English so for the benefit of any non-Swedish speakers I've created an English recreation of the original Swedish note as an iPhone wallpaper. The wallpaper at the top right of this blog post is the iPhone 4 version in 640x960 resolution, and for the benefit of any cutting edge people who have upgraded to the iPhone 5, here's one in 640x1136 resolution:

Acts of random kindness

My own random act of kindness.

Haad Rin Sunrise Beach, scene of my own random act of kindness.

Last week I posted three YouTube videos which made me smile and one of those videos was the music video 'Acts Of Random Kindness' which as the name suggests features people doing random acts of kindness for other people.

I mentioned at the time that the video made me want to go out and do some random acts of kindness myself, but I also acknowledged that in reality I'd probably forget about the video within a couple of minutes and just go back to being my usual self-orientated self straight away.

However, after compiling last week's YouTube post, I did actually remember an act of random kindness that I did once myself which was a bit similar to the acts of kindness in the 'Acts Of Random Kindness' video, so I thought I would mention it just to remind myself how nice it is to think of others sometimes.

Three YouTube videos that made me smile

It's always good to smile.

Smile!
(Sketch by Jenny Ellis)

I recently published the final book in my scifi series of books, and at the end of the book, I make the point that we often associate being a nice person with people who dedicate their life to feeding starving people and stuff like that.

Examples like that are obviously excellent, but for the rest of us who can't make such a massive sacrifice, you don't have to go to such extreme measures as dedicating your entire life towards helping the poor. You can still be a nice person just by doing simple stuff like telling other people about cool stuff which makes you happy.

It's always good to smile so I make the point that even if it's just a cool video on YouTube which makes you smile, then it's still a worthwhile deed to tell other people about it.

So to ensure I'm not a hypocrite, here are a few cool YouTube videos which I like...

Charity Russian roulette

Here's an idea for anyone going out on a pub crawl on Children In Need night.

Oops!  Looks like someone's had an accident
... or have they?

It's Children In Need this coming Friday, so this is an idea for anyone who wants to raise money for Children In Need and have fun at the same time on a night out. It doesn't specifically apply to Children In Need though, so you could play Charity Russian Roulette at any time of the year to raise money for any charity.

Charity Russian Roulette is basically just a game of dare where everyone has to do dares or challenges, and each time you wimp out and bottle a dare, you contribute £1 into the Children In Need fund for the night. Each person has to take turns at pulling a random number out of an envelope with each number corresponding to a dare which the person then has to perform.

The only preparation the game requires is that before you head out for the evening, one person has to write out the dares (or corresponding numbers) on little pieces of paper and then crumple them up in a bag or envelope. You can use any dares you want, but here are a few ideas to start you off...

How To Save The World: Part 3C - In The End, No-One Can Escape Justice

The concluding part of the 'How To Save The World' saga...

Charles Fudgemuffin in association with Montgomery-Smythe Publishing Associates is proud to announce the release of the latest book in the 'How To Save The World' series.

Here are a few words from Charles to introduce the book...

How To Save The World: Part 3C
'In The End, No-One Can Escape Justice'

How To Save The World: Part 3C - In The End, No-One Can Escape Justice

'In The End, No-One Can Escape Justice' is the sixth and final book in the ‘How To Save The World’ saga.  I would therefore recommend that new readers start with book one (How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy) which, with the exception of Star Wars*, is the traditional way to read a story.

* For the benefit of anyone who hasn't yet seen Star Wars, I would recommend starting with part four.

However, I still get my royalties whatever order people buy the books in, so if you want to read the story back to front then that's fine by me.

10 more nerd jokes (part 2)

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've got a bit of a soft spot for nerd jokes, so as it's been a while since I last featured any nerd jokes on my blog I think therefore that means it's time for another round up, with this week's batch of nerdosity featuring ducks, functions, and radioactive cats.

"Quark!"

Once again, apologies to any non-nerds for this overdose of nerdiness, but for anyone who enjoys nerd jokes, let's start things off with a really cheesy joke...

1) What does a subatomic duck say? Quark.


2) A logician tells his mate his wife has just had a baby.
"Is it a boy or a girl?" his mate asks.
"Yes," the logician replies.


3) What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

True or false: A 'space and the universe' quiz

Origami, extreme diets and the planet 'Marjory'.

As today is National Astronomy Day, I thought it would be appropriate to base my latest True Or False quiz on the theme of 'space and the universe'. See if you can spot which of the following 'facts' are actually true and which ones are nothing more than a devious bluff.

The planets Neptune and Saturn, with the planet 'Marjory'
sandwiched in the middle. Note: Not to scale.

Fact 1) The planet 'Marjory'

The planet Uranus was discovered in 1628 by astronomer Richard Keplington and as a romantic gesture he originally wanted to name the planet 'Marjory' after his beloved wife. However, his wife was quite a humble lady and didn't want any fuss or attention, and so Keplington reluctantly agreed to respect her wishes and the name Uranus was eventually decided upon.

True of false? 

Weird forums on the web (part 1)

Caution: The following post contains graphic scenes of extreme excitement and should therefore not be read by anyone with a weak heart.

It's always wise to consult the opinions of
others before making any major purchase.

If you want to discuss something, no matter how obscure or seemingly mundane, it's a safe bet that someone somewhere will have created an internet forum for your chosen subject.

While I was researching the final draft of my latest comedy scifi book, I discovered quite a few forums which probably weren't meant to be amusing, but which brought a chuckle to my easily amused face. I've therefore decided to highlight a few of these unintentionally entertaining forums on my blog, starting first of all with an online discussion which was particularly dramatic and exciting.

To set the scene, this was the question which one forum user had asked...

Ten facts about UFOs and aliens

Is there anybody out there?

Are we alone in the universe?

My short story, 'We Come In Peace', features the main character experiencing an alien encounter, so I should probably feature more posts on my blog related to ufology. However, to make up for lost time here's a list of ten facts about UFOs and aliens.

1) Studies have shown that the majority of UFO sightings are regular objects found on Earth or explainable phenomena, such as aircraft, noctilucent clouds, balloons, meteors, or in some cases deliberate hoaxes.


2) However, between 5 to 20% of UFO sightings remain unexplained.


3) One in seven Americans claim that either themselves or someone they know has had an encounter with a UFO.

Weird facebook likes (part 2)

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

A couple of months ago I featured a post on how I find it strange that sometimes people will update their facebook status with blatant bad news, and yet bizarrely some of their alleged friends will then 'like' it. There have been more facebook statuses along those lines since my original round-up and so I thought it was time for another collection of weird and inappropriate facebook likes.

I'll start things off straight away with a photo which illustrates what I'm getting at...

1) A few weeks ago the unpredictable English weather was at its worst once again and so during a recent camping trip, some friends unfortunately got caught in some pretty severe floods. To show people just how bad the flooding was, they uploaded the following photo of their campsite to facebook:

Your holiday has been ruined by torrential floods.
3 friends like this.

And unbelievably it got three likes!

Funny football quotes (part 3)

Two footballs, pictured yesterday.

From time to time I feature amusing football quotes on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and as a new season of the Premier League kicks off today, I thought it would be an appropriate time to round up another batch of daft football quotes to celebrate the start of a new season.

However, to make things a bit more interesting I've also included one made-up quote. All except one of the following quotes are real, so see if you can guess which is the made-up quote…

1) "They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."
...Kevin Keegan


2) "I don't want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he'll go abroad."
...Ian Wright


3) “I would have given my right arm to be a pianist.” 
...Sir Bobby Robson

Everything you ever wanted to know about...

Which of the following book titles would be least likely to be a commercial success if it was published as a kids' book?

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About...

At the moment I'm currently proof-reading my latest scifi comedy book ready for it to be published on Amazon within the next couple of months.

At one stage in the story, the main character recalls a kids' book which he once wanted to buy for his nephew as a joke present. In his opinion the title of the book in question was a totally ridiculous idea for a kids' book and he jokily mocks how daft an idea it was to publish a kids' book about a subject which kids will clearly have no interest in.

This was based on a real book which I saw in a book shop one day, and the main character's mockery was fine when it was just in draft form and I was the only reader. However, now that I'm at the stage where my book is actually about to be published and other people will be able to read it, I feel a bit sly about mocking a real book. I'd therefore feel more comfortable changing the name slightly and using a made-up name for the book.

Daft office pranks (part 3)

Yet another example of office related japery.

This daft trick requires fast typing skills.

Readers of my blog may recall that from time to time I like to write about various childish tricks that I used to play on people when I worked in an office.

This next daft office prank is another trick which I used to play back when I used to work for the council on the pensions team. Anyone who’s worked in an office will have probably come across at some stage the use of shared spreadsheets which everyone in the office has the ability to update. A consequence of this is the possibility that on occasion you will try to get into a shared spreadsheet but unfortunately someone else will already be using it which means it’s locked for editing. In those cases Excel will give you a message along the lines of:

Scary kids' stories

Warning: This article contains spoilers for the movie Cloud Atlas.

Cloud Atlas

I recently watched the movie Cloud Atlas and although it was an enjoyable movie which I would recommend seeing, one of the questions I had about the movie was the closing scene. As anyone who’s seen Cloud Atlas will know, the movie tells six different stories and edits them together in small segments as if you were channel-hoping between all six stories.

Anyway, at the end of the movie the final scene shows Tom Hanks' character from the post-apocalyptic storyline sitting round the campfire apparently telling his grand-kids the stories we have just watched. The kids obviously enjoy his tales as they excitedly plead with him, "Tell us more, grandappy! Tell us more!"

At first I thought to myself, ‘Ar, that’s nice,’ but then later on the thought occurred to me, ‘Hang on a second! I’m not sure that’s a realistic response for a kid to have after just being told the stories from Cloud Atlas.’

Just to give an example, the second story involves an aspiring composer who's happy to sleep with just about everyone in order to further his career. He then gets blackmailed by his boss and so he shoots his boss, then goes into hiding for a couple of weeks and then finally he commits suicide by putting a gun in his mouth and shooting himself through the back of the head. Is that the sort of story which would have kids responding, ‘Wow! What a great story! Tell us more!’?

Even more signs from around the world

Crocodiles, unnecessary epithets and draconian punishments.

Following on from my previous posts entitled ‘Signs from around the world’ and ‘More signs from around the world,’ I’ve now collected together even more photos of signs from around the world. After much thought I've decided to call this post ‘Even More Signs From Around The World.’

1) God loves everyone. Even solicitors!

The first photo is a religiously themed photo which demonstrates that apparently God’s love knows no limits.

God loves everybody. Even solicitors, apparently.

A few quirks of the Korean language

Strange vowels, hand necks and the 'f' rule.

As a fan of the Swedish language, I've previously featured a few posts collecting some of my favourite Swedish words and expressions. However, I've come across lots of other cool languages and cool linguistic expressions on my travels, so I thought I would take this opportunity to expand beyond the theme of Swedish and cover a few other languages.

First up are a few quirks from the Korean language...

"I'll have a vowel please, Carol."

1) Vowels and consonants

Something I found weird when I first visited Korea was that in the Korean language, 'w' and 'y' are classed as vowels. I'd come across 'y' being classed as a vowel when I went to Norway, but it seemed a bit weird for 'w' to be classed as a vowel. To me with my English background, 'w' should blatantly be classed as a consonant.

However, when you analyse it it's not as daft as it seems...

10 nerd jokes (part 1)

Binary code ... or is it?

Last week I rounded off my post '10 things in life worth knowing' with a daft nerd joke regarding binary code.

I have to admit that I've got a bit of a soft spot for nerd jokes, so this week I thought I would round up a few of my favourite nerd jokes and puzzles in a post creatively entitled '10 nerd jokes'.

Also, just to clarify, this time I'm talking in decimal rather than binary code, so this time there are actually ten rather than two. Non-nerds are therefore advised to stop reading now.

Some of these are quite old so apologies if anyone's heard most of them before, but anyway here are a few of my favourite nerd jokes, featuring maths, hadrons, and pizza.

1) There are 10 kinds of people in this world...
Those who know binary code and those who don't.


2) Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O."  The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he died.

10 things in life worth knowing

The importance of knowledge.

Floppybobble Lane, just off Spludgington Avenue.

A few years ago, I once read a magazine article which discussed the importance of knowledge. It argued that some knowledge is more important than others obviously, for example, the knowledge of how to stay healthy and prevent diseases is more important than the knowledge of what happened in Coronation Street last night. However, the article highlighted that even some trivial knowledge can sometimes prove useful.

The claims of this magazine article were on my mind one day as I was walking to my mate's house, and so as I was walking along I decided to look out for the street signs I passed and made a mental note of the street names, thus increasing my knowledge of the local area.

Weird facebook likes (part 1)

A selection of inappropriate facebook likes...

Thumbs up for weird facebook likes.

One of the things I find strange about facebook is the way that people will sometimes post a status update which is clearly bad news, and yet loads of their alleged friends will 'like' the post. Sometimes I can't help thinking, 'Eh? Why are you liking that? That's obviously bad news.'

I'm talking about statuses along the lines of, 'Just got sacked from my job.' ...6 people like this. That sort of thing. That one was just a made-up example but there are plenty of real facebook statuses which are clearly bad news and yet people still seem to click the 'like' button for some reason.

I've rounded up a few examples to highlight what I'm referring to, and to start things off here's a very straight forward example which perfectly illustrates how the 'like' button often gets misused.

Book reviews (part 3)

I haven't managed to read as many books as I'd have liked in recent months, as I've been working on proof-reading and formatting my own soon to be published book, but I have managed to read a few. Here are a handful of reviews of some of the most recent books which I've read.

The Hoax by Clifford Irving

The Hoax by Clifford Irving - 4.6 / 5.0

The Hoax tells the true story of Clifford Irving, a writer who infamously faked the authorised biography of Howard Hughes, an eccentric and reclusive American billionaire. The art of deception is a theme which features in many of my own stories, and it’s a concept which greatly appeals to me as the basis for a story, so as you’d expect I thoroughly enjoyed The Hoax.

Admittedly, the book starts quite slowly as Clifford describes the research which he and his assistant, Richard Suskind, carried out in preparation for writing the biography, but once the story gets into its stride and unforeseen developments in their plan start to occur, The Hoax then really starts to come alive.

"I don't speak Japanese."

My silly hypothetical tattoo.

I'm not really a fan of tattoos as from a fashion point of view I tend to change my opinion of what I like every six months, so something as permanent as a tattoo would be a bad idea for someone like me who changes their mind so often.

However, if I was ever going to get a tattoo then I like Japanese kanji, and I also like daft tomfoolery, so I'd probably go for something which combined the two...

"I don't know.  I don't speak Japanese."

Funny football quotes (part 2)

A collection of football quotes to round off the season.

Another football season comes to a close.

If there’s one thing you can rely on from footballers and managers, it’s that they often come out with daft quotes. Back in August, to celebrate the start of the football season I illustrated this fact by posting a selection of funny football quotes from a variety of managers, footballers and commentators.

Today sees the final day of the Premier League, so to round off the season I thought this would be an appropriate time to post another batch of amusing football quotes from various pundits, players and other football related celebrities. A few of these had me chuckling as I was typing them up, so hopefully a few other people will likewise find them as amusing as I did.

1) "Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms ... movement and positioning."
...Ron Atkinson


2) "No regrets. None at all. My only regret is that we went out on penalties. That's my only regret but no, no regrets."
...Mick McCarthy

"And the award for the most stupid question ever goes to..."

Beer, a drink commonly found in most pubs.

In one of my early books, two of the characters discuss the top three most stupid questions they've ever been asked. I won't reveal the questions here, but you can trust me that all three of the questions were very stupid questions indeed (and each was inspired by real life).

However, I can safely say that all three of those questions were well and truly beaten for stupidity by a stupid question I heard the other day when I was out at the pub watching the football.

To set the scene, me and my mates were sat at the back of the dining room in the pub, and a couple were sitting at the table next to us with their young son who must have been no older than six years old. At one point during the match the parents disappeared, presumably to go and order food, leaving their child sat at their table on his own for a few minutes. 

Strange Google searches (part 3)

Hitmen, Three Legged Dogs And Pregnant Men

Searching for a hitman.

A few months ago I published a post called 'Santa Claus, camper vans and Swedish girls' which discussed some of the weird searches made on Google every month. I then followed this up over Christmas with a post devoted entirely to Santa related searches on Google. As there are hundreds of weird Google searches made every month I thought it was time for another post along the same theme.

1) I’ll start off with a rather worrying search term.  This one is especially worrying when you consider that it gets 9,900 worldwide searches per month:

‘How do I hire a hitman?’

Even more worrying is the fact that this search term has a competition rating of 0.05* so whilst by no means the most competitive search term on Google, there nevertheless must be some businesses looking to advertise on this search term! What sort of businesses they might be I dread to think.

* Google assign all of their search terms a competition rating to allow advertisers to assess which search terms are the most popular with other advertisers and therefore the most competitive to advertise against.

Tomorrow's Technology Today

A new blog from Charles Fudgemuffin.

Tomorrow's Technology Today:
A new blog from Charles Fudgemuffin.

I'm happy to announce that there's now also another new addition to the Charles Fudgemuffin family of blogs, namely Tomorrow's Technology Today, and as the name suggests Tomorrow’s Technology Today focuses on exciting breakthroughs in the world of technology.

There are plenty of websites out there featuring the latest iPods, mobile phones and cameras though, so Tomorrow’s Technology Today will therefore steer clear of stories reporting on a slightly newer model television with marginally improved picture clarity and better sound quality. Instead Tomorrow’s Technology Today will only feature reports on truly groundbreaking inventions, innovational gadgets and revolutionary scientific developments which could potentially go on to make a big impact on the world we live in.

Daft office pranks (part 2)

More office related tomfoolery

Phone based pranks.

From time to time on the blog I feature daft pranks, and this next one is a daft office based prank which used to amuse me when when I worked on the pensions team at the council a few years ago.

Part of my job would involve phoning other councils on a regular basis to discuss certain pension queries, so another childish trick which I used to play sometimes was I would ring up another council for no reason, and then just before they answered the phone I would quickly transfer the call to someone else on my team.

If I timed it right it would mean that both of them (the other council and the person on my team) would answer the call at the exact same moment.

So what would happen would be that the other pensions team would answer:

Too School For Cool

Charles Fudgemuffin's first radio interview.

DJ Steve Watson, presenter of Too School For Cool

The last few weeks have been really exciting for me as an author with my debut scifi comedy novel making the top 100 for a few categories in the Amazon UK kindle charts, and achieving highest positions of:

Sci-Fi / Space Opera - 11
Humour - 50
Science Fiction - 66

At one stage I was even a couple of places above another book I can recommend which not many people might have heard of but it's a book called Bridget Jones' Diary (Anniversary Edition) by an up and coming author called Helen Fielding.

And in the Sci Fi charts I was only a couple of places below a special hardback reissued edition of The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy, so it was a total buzz to be ranked alongside such famous books. Admittedly they probably sold slightly more books when they were first released, so I'm not quite a rival for J.K. Rowling just yet, but it's nevertheless been a very pleasing and surprising few weeks for someone with my own modest expectations.

7 online spoofs from April Fools Day (2013 edition)

Every year more and more websites and companies seem to be getting into the April Fools' Day spirit by posting spoof stories on their websites, and as I'm a big fan of pranks I thought I would round-up some of this year's April Fools' Day stories.

A step by step guide on how to boil water.

1) How to make boiling water

I'll start off with a video found on the allrecipes.com website which teaches budding chefs how to make hot boiling water. It's quite a daft video, but the voice-over catches the style of 'How To Cook' instructional videos perfectly, so even if you're a complete amateur when it comes to cooking you should be able to follow their step by step instructions and make your own 'hot boiling water'.

As one All Recipes member comments, "What a simple recipe! I'm always looking for something quick and easy after work, and this is just perfect!"

(Update: Sadly, the video is no longer available, but I'm pretty sure everyone knows how to boil water anyway ... even without the instructional video!)

2) YouTube announce a winner

One of the most famous April Fools' Day spoofs this year was the 'YouTube select a winner' prank whereby YouTube announced that for the last ten years YouTube has actually just been one big competition to find the best uploaded video. After ten years they were finally bringing the competition to a close and were finally ready to announce a winner. As the competition was now over the YouTube website would no longer be necessary and therefore they would subsequently be closing YouTube down.

You can watch YouTube's announcement at the link below:
YouTube ready to choose a winner

10 cool internet Easter eggs (part 3)

Another batch of hidden internet tricks for Easter.

Humpty Dumpty, the original Easter egg.

I love weird tricks and novelties you can sometimes find hidden on the internet, so from time to time I like to feature a selection of my favourite tricks (more commonly known as Easter eggs) on this blog.

As it's Easter this weekend I therefore thought it would be the perfect time to round-up another batch of cool internet Easter eggs in a post which I've creatively titled '10 Cool Internet Easter Eggs (Part 3)'.

1) The Harlem Shake on YouTube

First up is a really cool hidden internet Easter egg found on YouTube which gets into the spirit of the latest craze for uploading Harlem Shake videos to YouTube.  Go to YouTube and type 'do the Harlem Shake' into the search box, and as well as listing a selection of Harlem Shake videos, you'll find that YouTube also does a Harlem Shake of its own.

(Update: Sadly, this Easter egg is no longer active, but as you can probably guess, basically the whole screen shaked.)

Be the first of your friends to like this post...

How I got thousands of followers on twitter … absolutely free! by Lady Gaga

One woman’s account of how she increased her twitter audience: A guest post by Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga reveals her strategy for gaining
thousands of followers on twitter.

Our thanks go to Lady Gaga for writing this guest post…

“Thanks first of all Charles for giving me, Lady Gaga, this opportunity to write a guest post for your blog.

A few years ago in the early days of twitter, I used to look on enviously at some of the top twitter users like Stephen Fry and the massive twitter following they commanded and wonder to myself, ‘Will I ever be as popular as Stephen on twitter?’ One thing was sure, that popularity wasn’t going to come about if I just sat around twiddling my thumbs doing nothing about it, and so after considering several options I devised a clever plan in order to gain myself thousands of followers on twitter.

10 more cool Swedish words and expressions (part 2)

The creatively titled follow-up to '10 cool Swedish words and expressions'.

A few of my favourite Swedish words and expressions.

I love the Swedish language and as it’s been a while since my original '10 cool Swedish words and expressions' post, I figured it was about time I posted a few more of my favourite Swedish words and expressions.

Just to recap, many of the alien names and places in my first comedy scifi novel were inspired by Swedish words, so that was the inspiration behind the original post.

Anyway, here are another 10 cool Swedish words and expressions which I like…

1) You look good out

If you’re Swedish and you’re good looking (which admittedly is a very strong possibility judging by all the Swedish girls I’ve ever met), then luckily in Sweden they have several words and expressions to describe you. If I had to guess then I would say that the abundance of words for ‘good looking’ in Swedish is similar to the way that Eskimoes have numerous words for snow.

The wisdom of kids

Some amusing quotes from kids, including a few which highlight that sometimes kids can be wiser than you realise.

The dream of every child...  Can you guess what it is?

On my Charles Fudgemuffin facebook page I occasionally post funny comments that kids have said, so as an idea for a blog post I thought I would round up a collection of funny and interesting comments from kids.

1) "The dream of every kid..."

I’ll start off with a description of a funny clip from You’ve Been Framed I saw a few weeks ago. A couple were taking their daughter on a surprise trip to a secret location and the mother said to their young daughter (probably aged about four or five), “Rather than tell you where we’re going, we’re going to show you the letters so that you can spell it out.”

The mother then started showing her daughter the letters and the young girl started spelling them out…

“D – I – S – N – E – Y”

Suddenly a wide-eyed look of uncontrollable excitement appeared on the daughter’s face.

“Do you know where we’re going now?” the mother asked.

To which the daughter punched the air with delight and replied, “Alaska!”

"People are literally tearing their hair out!"

Misuse of the word 'literally' can conjure up some strange mental images.

"You'll literally laugh your head off!"

I read in the paper recently that one of the things that annoys a lot of people about modern language is the misuse of the word ‘literally’. Apparently some people are literally tearing their hair out at the regularity with which this word gets used incorrectly.

However, I remember watching Stephen Fry argue once that language is a living thing and that language is constantly evolving. So if people are constantly using a word to mean something other than what it was originally intended, you could therefore argue that after a certain length of time this word then acquires a new meaning. For example the word ‘fabulous’ originally meant ‘pertaining to fables,’ i.e. a centaur or a griffon, for example. However, nowadays ‘fabulous’ is just a word which posh people use to mean ‘brilliant’.

I remember arguing with a mate once about language and when I quoted the wisdom of Stephen Fry on language in support of my viewpoint my mate then suddenly conceded the argument stating, ‘You can’t argue with Stephen Fry when it comes to language.’* I would have to agree, so maybe you could argue that the word ‘literally’ has now developed a new meaning, i.e. ‘literally’ now means ‘not literally at all’.

* Although you can certainly argue with him when it comes to many other subjects.

Anyway, whether the word ‘literally’ has obtained a new meaning or not, when taken literally it can produce some interesting mental images, so I thought it would be a cool idea to compile a list of quotes which quite literally use the word ‘literally’ in a totally non-literal sense.

True or false: Six New Year themed 'facts' from around the world

New Year celebrations: Pregnant pranks, smashing guitars and insect roulette.

One of my favourite things in the world which I like doing more than anything else is travelling and over the years I’ve been lucky enough to experience New Year celebrations in England, Scotland, Tanzania, Thailand, Vietnam and Fiji.

So following on from my previous True Or False posts for Halloween and Christmas, here’s another True Or False quiz featuring traditions from round the world to celebrate the new year. Just to clarify, some of these ‘facts’ are true but others are totally made-up. See if you can guess which is which...

Guitars beware.  Prepare for a smashing time at a Fijian New Year.

Fact 1) Fiji – Lock up your guitars!

In Fiji the locals have the strange but fun tradition of smashing up a guitar (rock star style) to see in the New Year. If you don’t want to destroy your precious guitar (or if you’re a tourist who forgot to pack a guitar in your backpack) then you can buy miniature sized guitars purely for the purpose of smashing up. I decided to join in with the local custom when I was in Fiji for New Year and I have to say it was a lot of fun and very satisfying to re-enact the classic guitar smashing ritual.

Charles Fudgemuffin's New Year's resolutions

Charles Fudgemuffin's plans for 2013.

Start a band. A cool New Year's resolution.

A few days ago I posted a list of the top ten most popular New Year’s Resolutions, and also included a few amusing resolutions I stumbled across while doing my research. To carry on the New Year theme, I thought I would post my own New Year’s Resolutions for the coming year.

Before I do though, here are a few more cool noteworthy New Year’s Resolutions I came across while compiling the top ten for my previous post:

1) "Take a picture of myself every day for a year and post a time lapse video on YouTube."

This is a cool idea which I’m tempted to do myself (not for YouTube, just for my own entertainment). It would probably be cooler though if you had just got a puppy or a kitten, then when you watched the finished video you would be able to see it growing before your eyes.


2) "Start a band."

I would definitely recommend this resolution to anyone who loves music. It can involve a fair amount of work to get a band up and running, but once the ball is rolling it’s a total buzz to record your own songs and to play live to an enthusiastic audience.

Top ten New Year's resolutions

The tradition of making resolutions to celebrate the New Year.

Start the year with a change for the better.

To see in the New Year I thought I would compile a top ten of the most popular New Year’s resolutions that people make each year. Just to clarify though, this isn’t a comprehensive scientific report or survey. I’ve simply looked up a load of top ten charts and tables on the internet and then compiled the results into an overall chart based on which New Year’s resolutions featured the most often.

Before I get to the results though, here are a few amusing New Year’s resolutions I stumbled upon while compiling my statistics:

"I’ll think of new excuses for when I ring in sick."

"On days when I’m ‘working from home’ I will actually work from home."