Monday, 2 July 2012

Signs From Around The World

A few photos from my travels.

Like Eric (the main character in my alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books), I’m a big fan of travelling and therefore every winter for the last ten years I’ve gone backpacking around the world.  On my travels I’ve encountered a few signs which have caught my attention and so I thought I would post photos of a few of them on my blog.

1) An Undercover Operation

The first photo is a photo I took while in Krakow a few years ago and it was taken outside the Secret Service Headquarters, handily signposted to ensure people can easily find it.

The Secret Service Headquarters in Krakow, a very undercover operation.

I have to say, maybe I’m missing something but it didn’t really appear to be that secret.

2) No Smoking Alcohol

Next comes a rather ambiguous sign.

No smoking alcohol.

No smoking alcohol … but presumably drinking it is fine.  To be honest, drinking is the method I generally prefer to use to consume my alcohol in any case, so the restrictions weren’t really a problem for me.

3) Proof Of Age Is Optional

Next up is a rather blatant sign situated on Khao San Road in Bangkok.

We do not check ID.

‘We do not check ID.’ 
Can you imagine if a bar in England had a sign like that?  Somehow I suspect the local police wouldn’t be quite so indifferent as the Thai police apparently are.

4) Not The Best!

The next photo is a sign outside Cosmic 2 Restaurant in Koh Phi Phi which boasts of their pizza...

By their own admission, not the best pizza.

'Not the best pizza, but nice one.' 
Refreshing honesty from Cosmic 2 Restaurant.

That’s not the first time I’ve encountered such refreshing honesty in Thailand.  I remember one time when I was at the Chatuchak Weekend Market in Bangkok and I asked how much a can of Sprite was, and was told 20 baht.  I was therefore just about to hand over a twenty baht note when the Sprite seller whispered very conspiratorially ‘fifteen … fifteen.’  So after looking confused for a few seconds I eventually acted on his prompting and came back with a counter offer of fifteen baht.  He agreed to my reduced offer with fake reluctance and begrudgingly handed me my can of pop.  The whole thing was quite bizarre and very much like the haggling scene from Monty Python’s The Life Of Brian.

5) A Hollow Boast

The next photo is a t-shirt worn by an allegedly party-loving lass in Magalluf.

Good girls go to heaven...

‘Good girls go to heaven.  Bad girls go to Magaluf.’
  Sadly it proved to be a hollow boast. 

In part 2A of my How To Save The World book series, Eric and his mates discuss the subject of pervy comments on lasses’ t-shirts in greater depth.  To briefly recap their conversation, Eric comes up with a simple scientific theory which goes as follows:

‘The horniness of a lass is inversely proportional to the perviness of the comment on her t-shirt.’

From my own observations I would say Eric was maybe onto something.  He also comes up with a scientific law in respect of male horniness which reads:

‘The horniness of a dude is directly proportional to fifty million.’

As Eric’s mate Kesta correctly points out, you can’t have something being directly proportional to a number.  If it’s directly proportional then it has to be to a variable, but Eric then clarifies that it wasn’t a serious comment and he was just making a jokey comment to explain that all dudes are total pervs.  Once again I would say that Eric is probably onto something there.

6) A Vague Sign

Anyway, enough of the science and back to the photos.  The next photo is a vague sign I saw one time at the Full Moon Party in Koh Pha Ngan advertising the prices at a food stall on the street.

'Some drink.'  A non-precise sign at the Full Moon Party.

'Some drink.'
  Imagine if the menus in restaurants in England were as vague as that.  ‘What would you like to drink, sir?’  ‘Hmm … I think I’ll go for ‘some drink’ please.  And to eat I think I’ll go for ‘some food’.’

7) Another TV Or Peace?

The last photo comes from a slogan projected on the wall at a Howaysis gig I went to a few years ago (an excellent Newcastle based Oasis tribute band, but they do gigs all over).

Peace would get my vote, although admittedly it's not that hard a decision for me
as I don't watch that much TV (except for sport and comedy).

‘If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.’
  Wise words, with which you can’t really argue.

Anyway, that was some signs from around the world.  And also a t-shirt.  Which admittedly isn’t a sign.  It seemed to fit in with the general theme though, when I was compiling the photos.  It wasn’t until afterwards that I realised, ‘Ar, hang on!  A t-shirt isn’t a sign.  It’s a t-shirt.  Doh!’

Anyway, I’m rambling now so I’ll shut up.  That was some photos of signs from around the world and this is the end of the post.

You can find more signs from around the world in the following posts:
More Signs From Around The World
Even More Signs From Around The World

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.