Funny signs (part 3)

It's been quite some time since the last batch of funny signs featured on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so here are a few more...

1) Funerals or potatoes

To start things off, here's a sign from a company offering a strange combination of services...

"For funerals or potatoes please come to side door."

Husband: "I'm just off to Mick's funeral."
Wife: "Get some potatoes while you're there."

2) Closed for private event

This next sign isn't particularly unusual in itself. It's the location of the sign which makes it unusual...

"Closed for privare event ... in a toilet, apparently."

Who holds a private event in a toilet!? And what sort of reaction do they get when the invites go out?

3) Mash-up sign

Next up is two signs for the price of one! Someone has peeled off half of the VW sign to reveal the KFC sign below, with bizarre results...

"What horse power does your car have?"
"It doesn't. It has chicken power!"

"A car powered on free range chickens
& designed by a team of hand picked potatoes.
Experience driving on mushrooms & coke."

4) New classic burger

I suspect that whoever created this next sign doesn't understand what 'classic' means.

A new classic burger.

New! And also classic!

5) Cricket has no boundaries

Of all the sports for NatWest to choose for this next sign, cricket was without doubt the worst possible choice.

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Cricket has no boundaries.

"Six!"
"Sorry, we've changed the rules..."

6) Hypocritical sign

This next sign is a case of 'Do as I say, not as I do.'

"Please do not place anything underneath the fire alarm. Thank you."

7) No diving

Finally, here's a sign I came across during a walk on my last trip to Australia. The sign was located next to a 'beautiful' pool and warned walkers that 'no diving' was allowed.

A 'No diving' sign warning against diving into the 'beautiful pool' located below.

It's just as well they had the sign, because as you can see from the attached photo, the 'beautiful' pool looked so appealing that I would have dived straight in!

To underline my sarcasm, the pool was only a few inches deep, and the drop to the pool was several metres, so unless people had a death wish, I think it's safe to say the sign was unnecessary!

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I should point on that I went on lots of excellent walks during my time in Western Australia, and saw lots of beautiful countryside. The 'no diving' pool was therefore not typical of the brilliant scenery I encountered.

You can find more funny signs in my previous blog posts:
Funny signs (part 1)
Funny signs (part 2)
'Guess the sign' quiz