Sunday, 21 December 2014

10 Santa And Christmas Jokes

A few festive riddles for Christmas.


Santa taking a quick break from his festive
responsibilities to pose for a photo.
Santa is perhaps regarded by many people as an old fashioned figure who likes to uphold traditions.  However, in actual fact Santa likes to think of himself as a hip and streetwise dude in touch with all the latest trends.

In fact on his journey around the world on Christmas Eve, Santa is planning to stop at every house to take a selfie.  This may add some time to his journey, so kids are therefore asked to show some patience if Santa is a few hours late with their presents.  Rest assured that he will arrive eventually.

As well as being hip and up-to-date, Santa is also famous for his catchphrase, "Ho! Ho! Ho!", so he obviously enjoys a laugh and has a good sense of humour.   So to celebrate the festive period here are a few Santa and Christmas themed jokes.  Be warned though, that most of these puns are very cheesy and are aimed at a younger audience.

1) What did Santa suffer from when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claustrophobia.

2) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

Sunday, 14 December 2014

Three Christmas Gift Ideas For The Shopper With More Money Than Sense!

Unique And Creative Gift Ideas For Christmas


There are now only 11 shopping days until Christmas, so if you're looking for an interesting and unique gift for a friend, or even for yourself, then here are a few ideas which are ideal for anyone with more money than sense...

1)  Sign up to the Time Travel fund!


Time travellers from the future, pictured tomorrow.
If you're looking for an exciting gift for the friend that has everything, then here's something they probably don't have.  The chance to travel to the future!

The Time Travel Fund is a website where you pay ten dollars to register your details on the time travel database.  Then once people from the future discover the secret of time travel, they will then refer to this database and come back in time to get you, so they can then transport you to the future!  Wow!  What a brilliant present!  And I'm sure that people from the future will definitely refer to this time travel database once they inevitably discover the secret of time travel.

As if the chance to travel to the future wasn't enough, you also get a signed certificate on acid free paper which you can mount on your wall.  People from the future can then use this certificate for verification purposes once they come back in time to get you and transport you to the future.  Pretty amazing value for only ten dollars!
Time Travel Fund Website

Sunday, 7 December 2014

10 Nerd Jokes (Part 3)

Photons, root beer and paradoxical psychologists...


Salt.  One of the ingredients in pun number 2.
I've mentioned before that I'm a fan of nerd related humour, so I therefore reckon it's time for another round-up of nerd jokes.

Apologies to any non-nerds for this overdose of nerdosity, but for fans of nerd jokes here's another batch of nerdish puns and quips...

1) A photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks him if he has any luggage.  The photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."

2) What happened when salt was touched by holy water?
Solvation.

3) How did the nerd make beer?
He put his root beer in a square cup.

Sunday, 30 November 2014

The Fire Skipping Rope - A Compilation Video

No animals were harmed during the making of this video...


A few scenes from the fire skipping rope compilation video shown below.
In the early days of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I featured a few videos featuring the fire skipping rope which is a popular nightly event with drunken backpackers on the tropical island of Koh Pha Ngan.

The fire skipping rope is also briefly mentioned in my 'How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy' book, so as it's been over a year since my last fire skipping video, I think that means I'm long overdue for another one.  This time I've compiled several of my favourite fire skipping attempts into one compilation video.

The video demonstrates that the fire skipping rope can be quite dangerous, but also very entertaining, so big thanks to all the backpackers who risked such danger in the pursuit of entertainment...

Sunday, 23 November 2014

A Tribute To Murray Walker

Some memorable quotes from a formula 1 legend.


"Seb, where would you rank Murray Walker
among formula 1 commentators?"
Today sees the title deciding final Grand Prix of the 2014 formula 1 season, so on the theme of F1 here's a collection of memorable quotes from one of my favourite sports commentators of all time ... the legend, Murray Walker.

1) "There's nothing wrong with the car except that it's on fire."

2) "I can't image what kind of problem Senna has.  I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem."

3) "He's only 19.  That's the same age Eddie Irvine was when he was 19."
...Coincidentally, it's also the same age I was when I was 19.

4) "And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position.  He is in last place..."

5) "The lead car is unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical."

Sunday, 16 November 2014

How Not To Write A Helpful Book Review

Three unhelpful but amusing book reviews


A few months ago I offered my opinion on how to write a helpful book review, and as a follow-up I thought it would be interesting to take a look at the flipside of the coin, namely how not to write a helpful book review.  So to illustrate some of the pitfalls to avoid, here are a selection of poorly written book reviews found on Amazon...

1) The Works Of Edgar Allen Poe (Volume 4) by Edgar Allen Poe


"Many tourists visit Egypt every year but I couldn't
tell you what it's like because I've never been. 3/5."
...Travel News Magazine (#NotReally)
First up is a book 'review' which highlights perhaps the most important thing of all to consider when writing a book review.  It's a review of The Works Of Edgar Allen Poe (Volume 4), and the review reads:

"I got this because it was free but I have not got around to read it yet.  3/5"

I had to chuckle at the reply that someone has left:

"Thanks - really informative.  It is always useful to read a book review from someone who has not read it."

So my first tip for anyone writing a book review would perhaps be an obvious one.  When writing a book review, always ensure that you have actually read the book first before you review it!

Sunday, 9 November 2014

The Broof Pirate: A Childish Facebook Prank

The Broof Pirate, happy to help with all your facebook questions...


Most pirates carry a pirate sword like this one pictured,
but the Broof Pirate instead carries a bottle of Broof.
In the past on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I've featured a few daft childish pranks to play on facebook, and once again I thought I would mention an amusingly childish facebook prank.  Most people will probably find this extremely childish, and also a bit surreal, so it'll only appeal to people who are extremely immature and easily amused, like myself for example.

The prank involves a disguised link which I've created, and the link is www.smarturl.it/InfoPage468.  The 'InfoPage468' reference makes it appear as if it links to some useful information, but in actual fact the link sneakily redirects to the 'Broof Pirate' website which is a ridiculous website featuring a pirate who makes funny 'broof' noises.

To play the prank, just wait until one of your facebook friends posts a question asking for advice, and then post a reply providing an allegedly 'helpful' link.  However, instead of posting a helpful link, you instead post the disguised link to the Broof Pirate.

Here are a few examples based on questions posed on my own facebook feed...

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.