Saturday, 18 February 2017

Coincidental Company Names

Original names for electronic companies are
harder to think of than you might expect.
When writing 'Crime Doesn't Pay' my recently released short story collection, for one of the stories I needed to think of a name for a fictitious electronic company.  I therefore got my thinking cap on and came up with...

Integrax

However, after a quick Google search it turns out that by coincidence Integrax is already a real company!

I didn't want to get into any legal difficulties over copyright, so I went back to the drawing board and came up with...

Tridox

Apparently, it turns out Tridox is already the name of a medicine.  It's also the name of  a self curing, non-epoxy plastic adhesive cement.  I have to admit I'm not sure what a self-curing non-epoxy plastic adhesive cement is exactly, but whatever it is, there's already one called Tridox.

Saturday, 11 February 2017

Sayings From Around The World (Valentine's Day Special)

A Valentine's Day themed blog post.
When I was first learning Swedish I bought a Swedish phrase book and one of the things which surprised me was the 'Romance section' of the phrase book.

Incredibly, the phrase book included four expressions for how to tell a Swedish woman, 'Sorry, I'm not interested,' and only one phrase to express interest.  I have to say, whoever wrote the guide book must clearly have never have met any Swedish women, as all the Swedish women I've ever met would most definitely not prompt me to say, 'Sorry, I'm not interested.'

Anyway, although I'm not fluent in other languages, I nevertheless still find foreign sayings and expressions interesting, so in honour of Valentine's Day, here are a few romantic phrases from around the world...

Saturday, 4 February 2017

'Guess The Sign' Quiz

Signposts are a part of everyday life.  They're also quite boring, so you may be wondering why I've decided to have a quiz on them!

Well, although the majority of signs are indeed boring, the signs featured in this week's quiz all appealed to my daft sense of humour.

The text from each of the following signposts has been deleted, so see if you can guess what each sign originally said...

1) African Sign


This first sign is an amusing sign from Africa.  I've erased the text, but bearing in mind the antelope silhouette, can you guess what the sign originally said?


Yes, that's right!  As you've probably guessed the sign says...

Saturday, 28 January 2017

Weird Google Searches (Part 4)

A few weeks ago in my 'Things that happen every second' article, I mentioned the weird Google search term...

'Dinosaurs were made up by the CIA to discourage time travel'

...which incredibly, gets 20 searches every month!

There are many more weird Google searches made every month, so here are a few more, starting with one search which makes me agree with Einstein that stupidity has no bounds...

1) "My PC is on fire"

...30 searches per month

Surprisingly, I didn't have a photo of a computer on fire,
so here are two separate photos of a computer and fire.
I can only say .... er, what!?  Presumably the people googling 'My PC is on fire' subsequently searched for...

'How do I treat burnt fingers?'

Being serious, if my laptop was on fire my first thought wouldn't be, 'Hmm, how I can put out the fire?  I know!  I'll google it!  Using my laptop that's on fire!'

If it was then presumably my next thought would be, 'Ow!  Ow!  Ouch!  That's hot!'

Saturday, 21 January 2017

Novelty Bets For 2017

As if the next president would
be someone off the telly!
Last year I featured a selection of novelty bets which were judged less likely than Leicester winning the Premier League.

Here are a few more noteworthy unusual bets...

1) Next US President


You can already bet on the winner of the 2020 US presidential election with some surprising names mentioned...

Leonardo DiCaprio - 80/1
Kanye West - 100/1
George Clooney - 100/1
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson - 100/1
Vince McMahon - 200/1
Kim Kardashian - 275/1

Vince McMahon and Kim Kardashian!  Ha, ha!  I mean, as if the next president is going to be someone off the telly!

Saturday, 14 January 2017

Don't Try This At Home!

Apparently, viewers are too stupid to realise how dangerous the following stunts are...


Public Service Announcement:
Necklaces should be worn in the traditional manner, and
not ripped through the neck for entertainment purposes.
Last week I featured a photo of me dancing on top of a flying aeroplane, and I captioned it with the warning...

"Don't try this at home!'


With hindsight, I may perhaps have underestimated the intelligence of my blog readers, as I would guess that most readers probably already realised that dancing on the roof of a aeroplane during a flight was dangerous.

Judging by many TV shows nowadays, it seems that some TV producers also underestimate the intelligence of their viewers, because the legal disclaimer 'Don't try this at home' seems to pop up at even the merest hint of danger.

For a stunt which is unexpectedly risky, you can maybe understand the logic of this warning, but other times you have to really question how stupid they must think we are if we need to be warned not to try some of the most dangerous stunts at home.

Here are a few examples I've noticed while watching TV over the last few months...

1) Ripping a necklace through your throat


Dynamo: Magician Impossible...

Dynamo swallows a polo, then forces a necklace into his throat.  He then rips it back out through his skin with the polo attached.  An impressed David Haye then warns viewers...

"Don't try this at home!"

Saturday, 7 January 2017

Micromorts: The Risk Of Dying

Caution: If you suffer from thanatophobia (fear of death), discretion is advised before reading this article!


Fighting with a light sabre has a rating of 187,500 micromorts.
2016 was a memorable year in many ways; Leicester's incredible Premier League win, a new Star Wars movie, and of course the release of 'Crime Doesn't Pay', my collection of crime themed short stories (available for kindle from Amazon).

However, it was also a scary and sobering year in the way that so many celebrities seemed to die.  It's a morbid thing to think about, but it's also a reminder of how temporary life is, and to take a positive approach, it's a reminder of how we should make the most of every day because you never know how long you've got left.

Believe it or not, there's actually a statistical unit which is a measurement of the risk of dying called the micromort.  A micromort is a one in a million chance of death, so for example if an activity has a rating of 1 micromort that means there's a relatively small one in a million chance of dying, whereas a rating of 1,000,000 micromorts would mean certain death.

Here are some micromort ratings for a variety of activities, from just living your life, to more dangerous pursuits...

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.