Saturday, 18 June 2016

Controversial Questions

The nation Votes...

Mmm, cakes!
Er, I mean ... biscuits.
In the office where I work there's been a lot discussion this week about a controversial subject which has gripped the nation.  Not Brexit, obviously - we're all sick of the increasingly ridiculous scaremongering claims by both sides in that debate - no, this is a far more controversial subject than whether the UK should remain in the EU.  The question which has divided our office is...

'Is a Jaffa Cake a biscuit or a cake?'

The discussion produced some very strongly argued responses, with some people getting very emotional indeed.  However, the controversy didn't end there, and our office debate also covered a variety of other controversial subjects, such as...

'Do you eat soup or drink soup?'

And finally...

Saturday, 11 June 2016

Commas Are Important

"Let's eat, guys!" has a very different meaning to, "Let's eat guys!"

Here are a few more examples which demonstrate the importance of commas....

1) "Cooking her family and her dog."

First up, here's a headline on the cover of Tails magazine, a magazine for dog lovers, which would definitely benefit from a comma...

Saturday, 4 June 2016

10 Funny Quiz Show Answers (Part 4)

Not a picture of a carnivore,
according to one quiz show contestant.

Dodgy pickles, hovering reptiles and extra-terrestrials...

I'm not particularly a massive fan of quiz shows, but I do enjoy it when contestants give silly answers.  So here's another batch of amusingly foolish answers provided by quiz show contestants...

1) Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?
Answer: No, it was a dinosaur.

2) Name three places you can apply cream.
Answer: Er ... Doncaster, Swindon and Leeds.

3) Name a food you can eat without chewing.
Answer: Chips.

Saturday, 28 May 2016

Bets More Likely Than Leicester Winning The Premier League

Elvis Presley, James Bond and the Loch Ness Monster

If at the start of the Premier League season, someone had told you that Chelsea would fail to defend their title, and on the day when the new champions were officially confirmed, Chelsea fans would be chanting the name of the new champions, it would have seemed unbelievable.

And yet, as has been well reported, Leicester City went on to become the 2015-16 Premier League champions, despite being initially priced at an incredible 5000-1!  To put that into perspective, here are a selection of other bets which were judged more likely to happen than Leicester winning the Premier League...

25-1 – Alien life to be proven to exist by the end of 2016
100-1 – Bruce Forsyth to be the next Doctor Who
175-1 – Prince Harry to marry Cheryl Cole
200-1 – David Beckham to be the next James Bond

Saturday, 21 May 2016

Funny Football Quotes (Part 7)

Another batch of silly football quotes to celebrate the end of the season.

"Hooray!" The crowd celebrates the news that more funny
football quotes are to appear on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog.
Last weekend saw the end of arguably the most incredible season in the history of English football, so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog has a football theme, as I take a look at another selection of funny football quotes from footballers, managers and pundits, starting with an insightful piece of analysis from Phil Thompson...

1) “West Brom have won a few late points.  Do those points help or hinder them?  I think they help them.”
…Phil Thompson

2) “It's Ipswich 0 Liverpool 2, and if that's the way the score stays then you've got to fancy Liverpool to win.”
…Peter Jones

3) “The one thing that Cristiano Ronaldo has is pace, quick feet and a great eye for goal.”
…Chris Waddle (I think that's three things, Chris)

Saturday, 14 May 2016

Koh Phangan: A Silly 'True Or False' Quiz

Stranger than fiction...

The tropical island of Koh Phangan.  It's okay, I suppose.
As anyone who's read 'True Or False: A Light-Hearted Collection Of 100 Facts And Bluffs' will know, I love 'true or false' quizzes.  I also love travelling, so this week I've combined the two and compiled a 'true or false' quiz based on my recent holiday.  However, this quiz doesn't follow the standard format of...

'True Or False: Ulaanbaatar is the capital of Mongolia?'

Instead, this is a daft 'true or false' quiz about a few random insignificant things which happened while I was on holiday on Koh Phangan (the inspiration for Ko Pagna in the 'How To Save The World' books).

None of the following events are world-shatteringly exciting, in fact they're all really minor incidents, but I found them a little weird, so have a read of the following happenings and see if you can guess which ones really happened and which are stories I've just made up.

Saturday, 7 May 2016

Silly Job Titles (Part 2)

Long winded waffle in place of a simple description.

A cover up?
Or 'Responsible discretion in the national interest..."
One of my favourite examples of official mumbo jumbo jargon, was in an old episode of the classic sitcom 'Yes, Prime Minister' when Sir Humphrey Appleby was describing a cover up.  However, being a stereotypical civil servant, he didn't simply call it a cover up, and instead he referred to it as:

"Reponsible discretion exercised in the national interest to prevent unnecessary disclosure of eminently justifiable procedures in which untimely revelation would severely impair public confidence."

Or to put it simply ... a cover up!

More recently, the practise of using long winded mumbo jumbo to describe simple terms seems to have spread to the naming of job titles, and I featured a few of these silly job titles in a previous blog post.

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.