Sunday, 21 September 2014

Duck And Cover!

A look at the past in honour of World Peace Day.

Today is officially World Peace Day (or International Day Of Peace as it's also known) and sometimes the best way to ensure peace is to look at the mistakes of history and remind ourselves of the horrors of war.

So with that in mind, here's a short comic from the 1950s which was produced by the US government to warn citizens how to react if an atomic bomb goes off in their vicinity...

Bert the Turtle says, "Duck and cover!"

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Ten Quotes About Aliens And Ufos

Are we alone in the universe?

The Earth's moon, coincidentally also named 'The Moon'.
Just one of billions of moons and planets throughout the universe.
As regular readers of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog will know, my comedy 'How To Save The World' books feature aliens from the fictional planets Fem and Fyra.

The books are very light-hearted and entirely fictional, but when you consider that the observable universe contains an estimated 100 to 200 billion galaxies, each with an average 100 billion stars, you have to suspect that's there's at least a chance that we're not alone in the universe.

I personally find books and documentaries on space and the universe really fascinating, so it's interesting to read what famous people have said about aliens and UFOs...

1) NASA astronaut, Gordon Cooper:

"While working with a camera crew supervising flight testing of advanced aircraft at Edward's Air Force Base, California, the camera crew filmed the landing of a strange disc object that flew in over their heads and landed on a dry lake nearby.  A camera crewman approached the saucer, it rose up above the area and flew off at a speed faster than any known aircraft."

2) Will Smith:

"I think it would be arrogant and borderline foolish to believe there's no other life forms that exist out there."

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Weird Facebook Likes (Part 4)

Physical, financial and culinary bad news...

A topic I've covered before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog is the bizarre practise of someone posting bad news on facebook, only for all their so-called friends to click the 'like' button!  It's been a few months since my last post on this subject, so here's another batch of weird and inappropriate facebook likes which I've come across.

"I've just slashed my finger with a meat cleaver."
1 friend likes this.
1) "Searching around my kitchen draw for some sellotape and......yes a verrrrry sharp meat that smarts!!!!!"
1 friend likes this.

Maybe it's just me, but I can't quite grasp why your friend nearly slicing his finger off would be something you would like?!?

This next one is an example of financial misfortune, rather than physical misfortune...

2) "Can't believe I've walked away from the cash machine and left my £100!  What an idiot!!!"
4 friends like this.

So to recap, in all probability you've just lost £100 at an ATM because of a foolish error, and four of your alleged friends like this!!??  If I had just lost £100 and four friends 'liked' it, I think I would be making use of the 'unfriend' button very quickly indeed!

Sunday, 31 August 2014

What I've Recently Been Reading (Part 8)

More reviews of books and short stories...

Most of the books I've read over the last few months have been by my favourite authors, but I've also sampled a few authors who are new to my reading list.  Here's another selection of book reviews from some of the books and short stories I've recently been reading.

I, Partridge by Alan Partridge
I, Partridge - We Need To Talk About Alan by Alan Partridge - 5.0 / 5.0

One of the first reviews I read of 'I, Partridge' called it, "The funniest book of the year, and possibly all time," and I would have to agree.  Even if you had never heard of Alan Partridge before or never seen any of his shows, this would still be a hilarious book with several laugh out loud moments on every page.  If you're already an Alan Partridge fan, then some of the chapters where he describes events already seen on his TV shows are especially amusing, particularly when Alan recalls certain events through his rose-tinted memories and portrays himself in a favourable, often heroic, light when the reality was somewhat different.

If you want to read some more review quotes about I, Partridge, the you can find them in this early promotional video I made for 'How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy':
"The funniest book of the year, and possibly all time."

Sunday, 24 August 2014

A Contender For The Most Unexpected Question Ever...

Another random and surprising question.

A volcano erupting, pictured yesterday.
A while back on this blog I featured a contender for one of the most stupid questions of all time, and I recently encountered another totally random and bizarre, and completely unexpected question.

I'd been away travelling for a few months so on my return to the UK I registered at the local employment office and was asked to complete a survey regarding my search for a job.

The first few questions were typical normal questions that you would expect to be asked, such as:

1) "What is your name?"

"Charles Fudgemuffin" *

* Of course as this was an official and serious government questionnaire, I didn't put Charles Fudgemuffin on the form.  I instead used my real name, which for the benefit of anyone who's interested is Henry Flangechomper.

2) "What qualifications do you have?"
"I am the writer of the critically acclaimed 'Remember to put the bins out' note."

3) "Have you applied for any jobs since returning to the UK?"
"Yes, I have applied for the posts of Graffiti Artist Humiliation Officer and Reputation Attenuator."

As you can see it was all fairly straight forward so far, but then suddenly from nowhere came the most randomly unexpected question ever...

Sunday, 17 August 2014

Amusing Football Quotes (Part 5)

Funny comments from players, managers and commentators.

Football, the inspiration for numerous silly quotes.
A new season of the Premiership starts this weekend, and at the start of each new football season I traditionally feature a round-up of funny football quotes, so here's another batch of amusing quotes from footballers, managers and commentators that made me chuckle...

1) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
...Commentator David Acfield.  Yes, slow motion tends to do that, David.

2) "I'm going to make a prediction...  It could go either way."
...Ron Atkinson sticks his neck out.

3) "Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal."
...David Coleman cleverly avoids spoiling the match for viewers who haven't yet seen the result.

Sunday, 10 August 2014

10 Cool Swedish Words And Expressions (Part 3)

Green carrots, dancing trains and breast warts...

All praise to the greatness.
Two posts on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog which get a lot of hits are my 10 Cool Swedish Words And Expressions and its follow-up post 10 More Cool Swedish Words And Expressions.  They say you should listen to your audience, so with that in mind here are ten more of my favourite Swedish words and expressions...

1) Breast warts

If someone refers to their bröstvårta, or breast warts, don't worry, they haven't been struck down with some Biblical contagious disease.  In Swedish, breast warts are nipples.  Perhaps not quite as appealing when they're described as breast warts, although admittedly still quite appealing.

2) Beards and cookies

An interesting Swedish expression is the phrase, 'Skägget i brevlådan,' which means to be caught with your beard in the letterbox, and is the equivalent of the American saying, to be 'caught with your hands in the cookie jar'.  If you took the two sayings at face value then you might perhaps conclude that Americans are more likely to be greedy whereas Swedish people are more likely to be snoops.  However, my experience of American and Swedish people wouldn't back that up at all, and I haven't met a great number of Swedish people with beards either, so I'm not quite sure where the inspiration behind this saying came from.

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.