Saturday, 22 June 2019

Funny holiday complaints (part 3)

Summertime is here again! While most people enjoy the summer and enjoy their holidays, some people just like to complain about anything and everything. So on that theme, here's another round-up of complaints from 'unlucky' holiday makers...

These stones are happy to be on holiday,
but some people do nothing but complain.
1) "Why did Thomson let us book the holiday if it was going to rain all week!?"

...Yeah, come on, Thomson! Why didn't you look into the future and predict the weather!



2) “We went to a Mexican restaurant in Rome and the waiter was Italian. You said Italy was the best place for an authentic food experience.”



3) "The sheets were too white."

...I know exactly how you feel! Nothing ruins a holiday quite like turning up at the hotel only to discover that the sheets are too white.

Saturday, 15 June 2019

10 music jokes for National Music Day (part 2)

This coming Friday (June 21st) is National Music Day, so with that in mind here's another round-up of musically themed jokes...

"Hand eeeeeeeyyyyeeeeeeeee!!!!"
1) What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?
Hand eeeeyyyyyyyyeeeee!!!!


2) My mate wants me to make his hair look like Bob Marley's tonight. I'm dreading it.


3) A man walks into a bar owned by Eminem and asks for two shots.
The barman replies, "You only get one shot..."


4) Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine Russia?
The Crimea River.

Saturday, 8 June 2019

Funny things kids say (part 7)

Kids say the funniest things - often unintentionally - so with that in mind it's time for another collection of funny things kids say. As usual the following quotes are taken from facebook, twitter and real life...

"How did I get in here?"

1) Smart kid


Parents should always encourage their children, but here's an example where that encouragement didn't go exactly to plan...

Parent: "If you put your mind to it, you can achieve anything you want to."
6 year old: *thinks for a minute* "Well I couldn’t get inside a milk bottle!"
Parent: "Okay. Everything but that."

He's got a point!

Saturday, 1 June 2019

How to be a rebel!

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a few rebels standing up and refusing to be told what to do by the establishment machine...

1) Do not use blade to open.


To start things off, here's a rebel living dangerously when opening a box...

Be careful with that 'Blade'!
Not the 'blade' they were expecting.

Saturday, 25 May 2019

Cool sayings from around the world (part 3)

From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I like to take a look at languages and sayings from around the world, and this week once again it's one of those times as I round-up another five cool sayings from around the world in a blog post I've creatively entitled 'Cool sayings from around the world (part 3).

"Walk according to the length of your step."
But preferably, wear better fashion than this dude while doing so.

1) "Eat according to the limits of your provisions. Walk according to the length of your step."


When I think of Tibet I think of wise old monks, and this wise saying from Tibet reinforces that image. I suppose when you analyse it though, it's really just a fancy version of the English expression, 'Live within your means.'

The concept of debt and loans is something I've never seen the attraction of, so whichever version of the saying you use, I would definitely agree with this piece of excellent advice.

Saturday, 18 May 2019

10 funny quiz show answers (part 7)

Seven fingers? Ha!
Everyone knows that fingers come in threes.
It's been a while since my last round-up of silly quiz show answers, so that must mean it's time for another batch of answers from foolish quiz show contestants who opened their mouths before they put their brains into gear...

1) "What day is Christmas traditionally celebrated in the UK?"
"Wednesday."


2) "Name something which comes in sevens."
"Fingers."


3) "Dundonians are natives of which Scottish city?"
"Cardiff."


4) "Which of the four seasons comes last alphabetically?"
"Autumn."

Saturday, 11 May 2019

Funny football quotes (part 10)

Another season of the Premier League draws to a close tomorrow, so to celebrate here's another batch of funny football quotes from managers, ex-players and pundits...

"It's a funny old game."
1) "The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch ... even on a sunny day!"
...Chris Jones


2) “There’s only one place you want to be and that’s Wembley, Old Trafford or Anfield.”
Mick Channon


3) “Glenn Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson.”
…Ron Greenwood

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.