Saturday, 4 July 2015

Every Second Counts

At the third stroke, the time will be 11:59 and 60 seconds precisely... 

Every second counts.
If you think last Tuesday seemed to drag and felt like a long day ... you were right!  That's because the International Earth Rotation And Reference Systems Service (IERS) added an extra second to Tuesday.  This additional second is known as a 'leap second' and is kind of like a leap year only a lot shorter.

To explain the reasoning behind leap seconds, without getting too scientific, the speed of Earth's rotation varies by tiny amounts due to geological occurences, as well as the pull of the Moon and the Sun, so the leap second is basically a way of ensuring our calendar remains precisely accurate.

You may think, "It's only a second!  What's the big deal about a second?" but in actual fact a surprisingly high amount of activity can take place in a single second.

For example, every second...

1) ...the Earth orbits 18.5 miles around the Sun!

2) ...the Solar System travels 155 miles around the galactic centre of the Milky Way!

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Supermarket Signs, Labels And Vouchers

Poor maths and poor geography...

On the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I've previously featured amusing signs from around the world, and this week's blog post is a slight variation on that theme.  Pictured below are photos of supermarket signs, labels and vouchers...

1) What a bargain!

First up, here's a great deal at my local supermarket...

A brilliant offer for stupid people!

One pizza for £1.50, or 2 for £8!

Wow! What a bargain!  I think I'll buy, er ... one.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

Giving Excellent Stuff The Credit It Deserves (Part 3)

Some people are very hard to please...

Previously on the Charles Fudgemufin blog, I've highlighted a selection of gushingly enthusiastic music reviews with confusingly stingy ratings.  It's not just music reviewers who give harsh review ratings, so this week I've decided to look at a few similarly stingy reviews focusing on TV shows, movies, and first of all books...

1) Withering Tights by Louise Rennison

Withering Tights: "The most hilarious book ever!"
3 / 5
I'm a big fan of Louise Rennison's 'Angus' books, so I was interested to read this extremely enthusiastic review of her new 'Tallulah Casey' book...

"...this book is insane.  It could have easily killed me with its hilarity, and to be entirely honest it might just be the most hilarious, most ridiculous book I've ever read.  I wish I read this when I was younger - I'd have loved it!  Or could have easily killed me then.  It's just too funny!  3/5"

So just to recap, the 'most hilarious book' you've ever read...
...3 out of 5?

A book so funny it could have killed you...
...3 out of 5?

A book which is so amazingly hilariously funny it has the potential to kill, and yet you give it only 3 out of 5?  Seriously!?  3 out of 5!?


Saturday, 13 June 2015

10 Funny Quiz Show Answers (Part 3)

"Sorry, you've failed the audition for Mastermind."

London: Famous for Big Ben, Downing Street,
and of course ... pasta.
As I've highlighted before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, contestants on quiz shows have come up with some very silly answers over the years.   Here's another collection of silly answers from quiz show contestants who most definitely weren't appearing on Mastermind...

1) Name something London is famous for.
Answer:  Pasta

2) Name something a blind man might use.
Answer:  A sword

3) Which letter of the alphabet sounds exactly the same as the term for a female sheep?
Answer:  Baa!

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Scientists As Comedians: Stephen Hawking

Time, the universe and parked cars...

This week's blog post focuses on Stephen Hawking,
author of 'A Brief History Of Time'.
A few weeks ago I featured a collection of quotes from Albert Einstein which showed that as well as being a scientific genius, Einstein perhaps also fancied himself as a bit of a comedian.

Einstein isn't the only scientist with a sense of humour, and another scientist known to make the occasional amusing remark is Stephen Hawking.  Some of his quotes might not read that funny, but when you listen to Stephen actually saying them, his robotic straight laced voice only adds to the humour...

1) The end of the world

When giving a lecture in Japan, Stephen was asked not to mention the end of the universe in case it affected the Japanese stock market.  This was his response:

"I don't know if or when the universe will end, but for those of you who are nervous about your investments, I think it's a bit early to sell."

Saturday, 30 May 2015

How To Advertise Your Book Or Blog For Free With Project Wonderful

A step by step guide to free advertising on Project Wonderful.

My 'True Or False' rectangle advert on Project Wonderful.
One problem that all indie authors face, and many traditionally published authors as well, is how to get your book discovered by new readers.  One of the easiest ways to publicise your book is with advertising, but the problem is that most indie authors generally don't have a large advertising budget.  However, with Project Wonderful a lack of advertising budget isn't a problem, as their advertising rates start at free!

You might think that free advertising would mean your adverts get only a tiny number of views on rarely visited blogs, but at the time of writing I've been using Project Wonderful for less than a week, and my ads have aleady had over 50,000 views!  Obviously you have to be realistic about your expectations - a website with millions of daily views isn't going to be available for free - but so far I've found that even if you allocate only a few minutes each day to posting your ads, the results can be impressive.

Here's a step by step guide on how to advertise your book or blog for free using Project Wonderful...

Saturday, 23 May 2015

Funny Football Quotes (Part 6)

Nicknames, famous sayings and big furry heads...

Today's official attendance: 1
(Figures compiled by Paul Merson).
To round the football season off on a humorous note, here's a selection of funny football quotes from players, managers, pundits, and even one quote from a mascot...

1) “There’s only one person gets you sacked, and that’s the fans.”
...Paul Merson

2) "I have to be careful what I say about the ref.  He was absolutely appalling!" 
...Neil Lennon taking great care not to say anything bad about the ref.

3) "Don't ask me what a typical Brazilian is because I don't know what a typical Brazilian is.  But Romario was a typical Brazilian."
...Sir Bobby Robson

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.