Saturday, 24 September 2016

A Brilliant Offer On The High Street!

...but always read the small print.

Magazines are excluded from the offer.
The other day I received a discount voucher for a special offer on the high street which was so good I just had to share it with other shoppers.  The offer is available at WHSmith and the voucher gives you a generous 20% off every time you shop throughout the store.  They even underlined the words 'every time' on the voucher to highlight just how great the offer is.

However, before you get too excited, I should probably mention that as with many offers, there are one or two exclusions mentioned in the small print, namely:

"Excludes Newspapers, Magazines & Bookazines and all Post Office products."

Oh, well.  That's not too bad, I suppose.  There are still plenty of other products you can buy to get the 20% discount.

Or are there?  When you read further into the small print you also discover a few more exclusions, namely:

Saturday, 17 September 2016

Random Thoughts (Part 2)

Liars, undead pianists and unattainable body images.

An invisible piano player.
This week the Charles Fudgemuffin once again features a collection of random thoughts which have nothing in common with each other, other than their unconnected randomness...

1) The musical undead

If you photoshopped pianos out of photos, all pianists would look like they were doing a zombie impression.

2) The force of magnetism

When I first discovered that 'the force' could move objects in Star Wars it was an awe-inspiring jaw-droppingly impressive 'Wow!' moment, even though it's not real.  And yet as a child, when I first witnessed real life magnetism pulling metal through the air towards a magnet I just accepted it without question.

Saturday, 10 September 2016

"Oops, I've Made Another Terrible Error!"

Mistakes made under the spotlight (part 2).

Previously on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I've taken a look at high profile mistakes made in the world of movies, books, music and sport.  Here are a few more examples of notable mistakes throughout history, this time from the world of science and technology, starting with an example which highlights the importance of being ambitious and dreaming big...

Tonight's official party attendance: 5
Figures courtesy of Thomas J. Watson.

1) Dream Big

Back in 1943 Thomas J. Watson, the former chairman of IBM, thought he was being extremely ambitious when he revealed he had big expansion plans for his computer company.  He famously predicted...

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

As it turned out, Thomas was slightly out with his prediction.  In fact as of today there are estimated to be more than two billion computers in use in the world!  Given his inaccuracy with figures, I wonder if Thomas would like to lend me a fiver?

It just goes to show how reality can sometimes massively exceed expectations, so if you're going to dream, then you might as well dream big.

Saturday, 3 September 2016

10 Nerd Jokes (Part 4)

Onions, sheep, and mathematically flawed promises.

Three sheep.
Or if you round up to the nearest hundred, one hundred sheep.
Before I get to this week's round-up of nerd jokes, I'll start things off with a promise from Bill Clinton which I think he might struggle to achieve...

1) "Every American should have above average income, and my Administration is going to see they get it."
...Bill Clinton

2) I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison, but unfortunately you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

3) After working in the farmer's field one day, a sheepdog reported back to the farmer...

Sheepdog: "That's me finished for the day. All 100 sheep are in the sheep pen."
Farmer: "100 sheep?  But I only have 98 sheep."
Sheepdog: "Yeah, but I rounded them up."

Saturday, 27 August 2016

Book Reviews (Part 15)

Books by Alexander McCall Smith, Louise Wener, Louise Rennison and Lawrence Hill.

Charles Fudgemuffin, author of the critically acclaimed 'Remember to put the bins out' note*, reviews a selection of books from the genres of light humour, general fiction, comedy and historical fiction.

* Other less notable works include the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books.

Friends, Lovers, Chocolate by Alexander McCall Smith

Friends, Lovers, Chocolate by Alexander McCall-Smith - 4.2 / 5.0

Nothing much seemed to happen in the first couple of chapters of Friends, Lovers, Chocolate, but once it got going I found myself really looking forward to my daily reading sessions.  Isobel Dalhousie meets a heart transplant patient who believes his new heart has brought with it memories of its previous owner, and Isobel's curious nature means she can't help herself from investigating further.  I have to admit I found the ending slightly disappointing, but overall this was an enjoyable book with some interesting ideas.

Saturday, 20 August 2016

A Question For Fans Of The Great British Bake Off

Charlotte Fudgemuffin (Charles' sister) revealed as new X Factor judge.
Although I'm not personally a fan, reality TV shows attract some very dedicated fans, so it's perhaps not surprising therefore that fans of reality TV shows often get quite passionate about the singers, dancers, models, cooks and other contestants that they feel most deserve to win their particular favourite show.

Now I can understand for example when fans of X Factor or American Idol have passionate opinions and strongly want a particular singer to win.  You listen to them sing, then vote for the best singer or performer, so I can understand comments like, "She's an excellent singer!  Did you hear her sing 'Who Let The Dogs Out?'  It was beautiful!' and it makes sense that you would favour one contestant over the others.

Saturday, 13 August 2016

Funny Football Quotes (Part 8)

More silly comments from the world of football.

Football. The inspiration for many silly quotes.
Another season of football starts today, so as has become traditional on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, here's another batch of funny football quotes from players, managers and pundits.

1) “There was nothing wrong with his timing. He was just a bit late.”
…Mark Bright

2) “Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds … totally against the run of play!”
…Peter Lorenzo

3) “I don't want to be playing in the Under 21s forever.”
…David Bentley

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.