Saturday, 16 December 2017

10 Christmas Jokes (Part 3)

As it's only a week or so until Christmas, here's another round-up of Christmas themed jokes...

Santa wearing a Christmas jumper.
1) When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?
Every year!

2) What do you get if you cross Santa Claus and a frog?
A Christmas jumper.

3) What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas Day?
Adam: "It's Christmas, Eve!"
Eve: "No, that was yesterday."

4) What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas Eve?
Adam: "It's Christmas Eve, Eve!"
Eve: "Technically speaking, Christmas Eve Eve would be the day before Christmas Eve, and that was yesterday...

5) Did you hear about the thief who stole an advent calendar?
He got 24 days.

Saturday, 9 December 2017

Random Christmas Thoughts

It's only a few days until Christmas, so here are a few random Christmas related thoughts...

Please note, the above list is intended purely
for illustrative purposes, and is not intended as a
true reflection of which children have been naughty.

1) The optimum time to be naughty

Santa keeps a list of everyone who has been naughty each year, so the best time to be naughty is from December 26th to December 31st.  It's too late for Santa to put you on the naughty list for the current year because you've already received your Christmas presents, and it's too early for him to put you on the naughty list for next year, because the new naughty list doesn't start until January 1st.

Saturday, 2 December 2017

Stupid Questions (Part 2)

Stupid questions have been featured on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog before, and they always make me smile, so here's another batch of daft and amusing questions. Once again the following questions have been compiled from various internet forums, facebook, twitter and real life...

Rain, pictured outside.

1) From facebook...

This is a stupid question that my friend was asked by his girlfriend...

Friend: "It's raining."
Girlfriend: "What, outside?"

If I had to stick my neck out and hazard a guess then I would say, "Yes, the rain is probably falling outside rather than inside."

Saturday, 25 November 2017

10 Unusual Town Names (Part 2)

It's time for another look at more weird and unusual town names.  Most of the following towns are from the United States, but a couple are from elsewhere around the world, and all of them are real actual town names...

The town of Earth, pictured from very very far away.
Also the planet Earth, pictured from an appropriate distance.

1) Earth

Earth is a perfectly sensible name for a planet in my opinion, but it's kind of a weird name for a town.  However, someone obviously disagrees with me because Earth is a real town in Texas.

Imagine having the following conversation...

Stranger: "Where are you from?"
Resident: "I'm from Earth."
Stranger: "Yes, I know that.  But where specifically?"
Resident: "Earth."

I wonder, are people from the town of Earth known as Earthlings?

2) Nameless

Nameless is the inaccurate name of a town in Tennessee.  Nameless by name, named by nature.

Saturday, 18 November 2017

Photoshopped Or Real?

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at a few random photos ... but have they been photoshopped, or are they real?

You can find the answers at the bottom of the page.

1) Quarterly Colours

When I first saw this photo I instantly assumed it was four separate photos which had been photoshopped together.

But on closer inspection perhaps not every quarter has been photoshopped?

Photoshopped or real?

Saturday, 11 November 2017

How many times would you have to fold a sheet of paper in half for it to be thick enough to reach the moon?

Occasionally on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I ask readers for help, for example with preference of book covers, or for other input when writing new stories. Once again I'm in need of help and this time I'm looking for a cross sample of how people would respond to a specific question. This is the scenario...

The Moon.
Reachable by origami, hypothetically.
In a forthcoming book which I'm writing, the main character asks a group of people the following question...

"How many times would you have to fold a piece of paper in half before it would be thick enough to reach the Moon?"

Now in reality you can't fold a regular piece of paper more than 7 or 8 times before it becomes impossible to fold it any more, but if it was a hypothetical situation where you could fold a piece of paper as many times as you wanted, how many times would you have to fold it before it was thick enough to reach to the Moon?

Just to clarify, I'm not trying to find out the actual answer. I know how to use Google so if I wanted to know the answer I wouldn't go to the bother of creating a poll! In fact a friend asked me this question many years ago, so I already know the answer. What I'm interested in is what other people would guess, and what sort of typical spread the main character would get with the answers.

Saturday, 4 November 2017

10 words and phrases which sound like other words in a different accent

Apologies to any native speakers if I haven't got all of the following accents quite right, but here are a few words or phrases which when pronounced in a certain accent sound like a new phrase altogether...

Bacon sandwiches could cause confusion in Jamaica.

1) Beer Can

If you say 'beer can' in an English accent, it sounds like 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent.

2) Jam Ear Can Beer Can

Taking it one step further, if you say 'jam ear can beer can' in an English accent, it sounds like 'Jamaican bacon' in a Jamaican accent.

About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.