tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89423351416830149022024-03-16T18:50:39.763+00:00Charles FudgemuffinAuthor of the critically acclaimed 'Remember to put the bins out' note. Other less notable works by Charles can be found for sale on Amazon for kindle.Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.comBlogger596125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-50995932951598034672024-03-16T09:01:00.008+00:002024-03-16T09:01:00.345+00:00Taking things literallyThis week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at a few examples where things were taken just a little bit too literally.<br /><br /><h3>1) The top states to live in</h3><br />If you're American and you've ever wondered what the top states to live in are, then the following image provides the answer.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwstnv83d8fqKRmsQ9kQmGg4NIw4Ftr36gyMH_YCOLhcSQuR9nrr9icWGAM_TWT4e8GbJabsfJzWnTQgX4V-N_lzHcJQCQ6N9aroVYn3BcV0zKN7GIEZJaDaEAQVK1V2zHsZYVRWhE9GeL8v914mmVadC3zpxVz2fugPhh68z_4r61DaCYGdvpoFeRHw/s700/The%20top%20states%20to%20live%20in%20-%20Literally.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="449" data-original-width="700" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwstnv83d8fqKRmsQ9kQmGg4NIw4Ftr36gyMH_YCOLhcSQuR9nrr9icWGAM_TWT4e8GbJabsfJzWnTQgX4V-N_lzHcJQCQ6N9aroVYn3BcV0zKN7GIEZJaDaEAQVK1V2zHsZYVRWhE9GeL8v914mmVadC3zpxVz2fugPhh68z_4r61DaCYGdvpoFeRHw/w400-h256/The%20top%20states%20to%20live%20in%20-%20Literally.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Bonus Alaska joke:<br /><br />An Alaskan was on trial, and the prosecutor asked him, "Where were you on the night of October to April?"<br /><br />
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">2) Bringing Waitrose to your door.</h3><br />Next up, the driver of this Waitrose truck obviously took their slogan just a little bit too literally...<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWHsmrWmNO22Tp2GVd2iQgH51nvJs5giGtYmAPm-nBtsq_KalCxa_1gdrYPTpjcjB3JpqHmX_2Z4jzonxac-WYfVnLyMN8TCrUYe6UY5kYPtU9FT_TjzO1vRJdAWo_wbQ6fAiYpIujocGbv9sXbjmPXxt3-vSCU7Iry010GFsAFPvNOU0SD7XbQ0rfNw/s640/Waitrose,%20bringing%20our%20store%20to%20your%20door%20-%20Literally.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="630" data-original-width="640" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWHsmrWmNO22Tp2GVd2iQgH51nvJs5giGtYmAPm-nBtsq_KalCxa_1gdrYPTpjcjB3JpqHmX_2Z4jzonxac-WYfVnLyMN8TCrUYe6UY5kYPtU9FT_TjzO1vRJdAWo_wbQ6fAiYpIujocGbv9sXbjmPXxt3-vSCU7Iry010GFsAFPvNOU0SD7XbQ0rfNw/s320/Waitrose,%20bringing%20our%20store%20to%20your%20door%20-%20Literally.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Bringing our store to your door."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />I hope they didn't drop the alphabet spaghetti. That could spell disaster!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">3) Seasonal Silliness</h3><br />It's March and that means spring is in the air!<br /><br />Literally!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivS1GWHtVxw81UYvgQ54okbci_b_0HVU3FUeoFxtJKAlMq_6TiWx8NFtZaNlxrp09rWA8N_qKKUoqedrpsCdxXb9bJI7JL1J3ODelmcz5fnjhGzBxjY9jhgaG3v7vsOfX1yfx06MPpZ1lXYEUQszn1yauxun-E6nyiGIgemyOugescIVFRebi3AqB51A/s600/Spring%20is%20in%20the%20air%20-%20Literally.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivS1GWHtVxw81UYvgQ54okbci_b_0HVU3FUeoFxtJKAlMq_6TiWx8NFtZaNlxrp09rWA8N_qKKUoqedrpsCdxXb9bJI7JL1J3ODelmcz5fnjhGzBxjY9jhgaG3v7vsOfX1yfx06MPpZ1lXYEUQszn1yauxun-E6nyiGIgemyOugescIVFRebi3AqB51A/w400-h400/Spring%20is%20in%20the%20air%20-%20Literally.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/2052337-pun" target="_blank">Know Your Meme</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Bonus spring joke:<br /><br />Should you plant flowers in April?<br />May as well.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">4) Literal calendar</h3><br />If you've ever wondered what the Gregorian calendar is, then here's a literal explanation:<br /><br />Monday: Greg<br />Tuesday: Ian<br />Wednesday: Greg<br />Thursday: Ian<br />Friday: Greg<br />Saturday: Ian<br />Sunday: Greg<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">5) Narrow escape</h3><br />Phew! That was a narrow escape!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFx0MnYnG9LXPwhWi-7FalI01Ioa5Mpbum1iq3IQVNf-bdwAlGqzl2Yvv8Cgt7xGp_Sh9Z-E4MmODrDMjZvrBdgHXDo0HgTNQTZQL9yE0kclJq7HarHkkjxaoFG2RmHD37fkuy3yhclAgcmoJbho7OeHLYHZupCYORRfbur0QnCSI3NzSJJ1wfSQypaQ/s700/Narrow%20escape%20-%20Literally.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="578" data-original-width="700" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFx0MnYnG9LXPwhWi-7FalI01Ioa5Mpbum1iq3IQVNf-bdwAlGqzl2Yvv8Cgt7xGp_Sh9Z-E4MmODrDMjZvrBdgHXDo0HgTNQTZQL9yE0kclJq7HarHkkjxaoFG2RmHD37fkuy3yhclAgcmoJbho7OeHLYHZupCYORRfbur0QnCSI3NzSJJ1wfSQypaQ/w400-h330/Narrow%20escape%20-%20Literally.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Literally a narrow escape.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />A fire broke out at my local yodeling school. Everyone was asked to use the fire exits in an orderly orderly orderly manner.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">6) The secret to omniscience</h3><br />Finally, if you read these two books, you will literally know everything!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb_LfGHasUiUd8MInyr9IJVmYi3Xnwsa_hZK_0QtDLls1gL6MaMhi40huOh5OqkYi9SfYX_ZiVj72ckYwpciJECzuxdC-MczXKsYfuqG7rZ58mZXJp8_0hz3YmXTal_Qz7eUoIZ2BUYHJK9yHEWZoj5lar2viYBxgTh4es-h498iFlbgC2OaRZSHuUKg/s700/Read%20these%20two%20books%20and%20you%20will%20know%20everything%20-%20Literally.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="512" data-original-width="700" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb_LfGHasUiUd8MInyr9IJVmYi3Xnwsa_hZK_0QtDLls1gL6MaMhi40huOh5OqkYi9SfYX_ZiVj72ckYwpciJECzuxdC-MczXKsYfuqG7rZ58mZXJp8_0hz3YmXTal_Qz7eUoIZ2BUYHJK9yHEWZoj5lar2viYBxgTh4es-h498iFlbgC2OaRZSHuUKg/w400-h293/Read%20these%20two%20books%20and%20you%20will%20know%20everything%20-%20Literally.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What they teach you and don't teach you at<br />Harvard Business School, i.e. everything.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />On a related note, I just got into Harvard!<br /><br />I found an open window and climbed inside. You would have thought they would have had better security.<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br /><i>Legal
Disclaimer: If you were to actually read both these books, I suspect
you wouldn't literally know everything. It's just a silly joke. It's not
intended to be taken literally.</i><br /><br /><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, I thought taking things literally was the whole point of the blog post?"<br /><i>Charles:</i> "No, the point of the blog post was to post silly pictures and daft jokes."<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />The title of my book 'Dead Men Tell No Tales' is literally correct! It's also literally available for kindle from Amazon.<br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://smarturl.it/DeadMenTellNoTales" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XswpP2dcC-I/YRJWlqY_NeI/AAAAAAAAMj0/TWn93DEEShsMDc0R8hVNMDn-ixISvlF4ACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/Dead%2BMen%2BTell%2BNo%2BTales%2Bad%2B468x60.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />The word 'literally' is one of the most misused words in the English language. You can find amusing examples of this in my previous blog posts:<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/10/funny-literally-quotes-part-5.html" target="_blank"><br />Funny 'literally' quotes (part 5)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/09/my-stomach-literally-fell-out-of-my-body.html" target="_blank">"My stomach literally fell out of my body!"</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-50784557244099201862024-03-09T09:01:00.012+00:002024-03-09T09:01:00.130+00:00No Smoking Day (part 3)By the 1950s, tobacco companies (and governments) knew that smoking was bad for people's health, but it wasn't until years later that they finally admitted it. For years they enlisted scientists and the media to smear those who warned the public about the dangers of smoking. Sadly, their lies worked, because it wasn't until 1982* that cigarette sales finally started to drop in the United States.<br /><br /><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">* Source: <a href="https://tobaccocontrol.bmj.com/content/21/2/87">https://tobaccocontrol.bmj.com/content/21/2/87</a></span></i><br /><br />Since the truth finally leaked out about smoking, thousands of people every year try to give up smoking, and in fact there's even a day especially for that purpose, creatively named ... <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/03/no-smoking-day-part-2.html" target="_blank">No Smoking Day</a>! This year No Smoking Day falls on 13th March, so to 'celebrate', this week's blog post features a no smoking theme.<br /><br />1) The simplest way to give up is to follow the example of this statue, and just say no.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk4mjzCbQX3w8ghyc5tOsaT9bZDwR13ev6QrvyWm2UUpJ7OOrLdXxDY1xFwRrAIAm55BR4k9ig1PBdw_1HjXDe0x78dJ63Q7zN224k5LwjSjNZHoKI1ehCTprEgMqOOW9BNEJBgQiUNnSx5IsmvBkDERfRFPUtof7svPJyiCA8sGMB44-5a_AIMoCaiu1p/s500/Statue%20says%20no%20to%20cigarette%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="490" data-original-width="500" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk4mjzCbQX3w8ghyc5tOsaT9bZDwR13ev6QrvyWm2UUpJ7OOrLdXxDY1xFwRrAIAm55BR4k9ig1PBdw_1HjXDe0x78dJ63Q7zN224k5LwjSjNZHoKI1ehCTprEgMqOOW9BNEJBgQiUNnSx5IsmvBkDERfRFPUtof7svPJyiCA8sGMB44-5a_AIMoCaiu1p/s320/Statue%20says%20no%20to%20cigarette%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just say no.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />"No thanks, mate. They stunt your growth."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit:</i> <a href="https://i.redd.it/wbzdtp5j76571.jpg">Reddit</a></span><br />
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<br /><br /><br />2) What's another name for time off from work to have a smoke?<br /><br />Taking a coughy break.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />3) Here's a sign I spotted when I was on holiday in Thailand...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRUNMZVCxBMLApjr3k9b-eFAg50ZrXaplPvfCYVZWB1uL0_kf5xgmhCHeELlcpr_5Ro5KNjOfloydYvb2-K429JnFc9IpMLA3DxTEndqKHYfOHD3M4W0vvNIxGTy5RucMKO0mZ7drnIHRRBYlCYktgWEsbUvEcuMyFBUONWTikWjGgLQ_t2s0EeFm-t0D/s700/No%20smoking%20alcohol%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="525" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRRUNMZVCxBMLApjr3k9b-eFAg50ZrXaplPvfCYVZWB1uL0_kf5xgmhCHeELlcpr_5Ro5KNjOfloydYvb2-K429JnFc9IpMLA3DxTEndqKHYfOHD3M4W0vvNIxGTy5RucMKO0mZ7drnIHRRBYlCYktgWEsbUvEcuMyFBUONWTikWjGgLQ_t2s0EeFm-t0D/w300-h400/No%20smoking%20alcohol%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No smoking alcohol. </td></tr></tbody></table><br />No smoking alcohol ... but presumably <i>drinking </i>alcohol is fine?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />4) What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?<br /><br />Clothes but no cigar.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />5)<i> </i>According to politicians*, deaths caused by smoking are financially desirable...<br /><i><br />Jim Hacker:</i> "It says here, smoking related diseases cost the National Health Service £165 million a year."<br />
<i>Sir Humphrey Appleby: </i>"Yes,
but it has been shown that if those extra
100,000 people had lived to a ripe old age, it would have cost us even
more in pensions and social security than it did in medical treatment.
So financially speaking, it's unquestionably better that they continue
to die at their present rate."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">* The quotes are from the 80s TV show, Yes, Prime Minister. Of course in real life I'm sure that politicians and bureaucrats would never deliberately sacrifice lives to save money. <i><b>**shifty eyes**</b></i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />6) Here's a silly smoking themed example of deliberately contrived pareidolia...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgARUYBojM7NmqDpfQC8IdpgWA4RahBABTBQ3pyiXJa_kJ7Q2tLYFxBTG-tpM8lnVhkY_EN3uirFLvly1upGCfFIPirscn2-tZijXziasByA_JhUcvd-2_HWfF9fgr-AcR3_lx5PBx7k6fvCPWS-7V3dH1hcyk0zCCHYP_VNpOi5NSZ6v9Pu81oxAT9WR76/s570/Toilet%20smoking%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="570" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgARUYBojM7NmqDpfQC8IdpgWA4RahBABTBQ3pyiXJa_kJ7Q2tLYFxBTG-tpM8lnVhkY_EN3uirFLvly1upGCfFIPirscn2-tZijXziasByA_JhUcvd-2_HWfF9fgr-AcR3_lx5PBx7k6fvCPWS-7V3dH1hcyk0zCCHYP_VNpOi5NSZ6v9Pu81oxAT9WR76/s320/Toilet%20smoking%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" width="281" /></a></div><br />Remember, be like the statue, not like the toilet.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />7) I found this next quote on the internet posted by a parent quoting their seven year old daughter...<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7_5lCVZTUaFenLTcPeRDJbuopQxAU8HTgxc01844JkXxN1AcaTZve42IMCZNB60Nv_BKCJbG27eQykMapjDsRyzP-Yg8ArwTg3A3qaABBfcFP80rf9vnmyX5UwcMwIe8z5pTLs8VU4Hc1TSEZbrkmnx416TV6JOaXTIZQo2CKrvCOU5ro9vZthaCvgS7u/s700/Coffin%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="456" data-original-width="700" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7_5lCVZTUaFenLTcPeRDJbuopQxAU8HTgxc01844JkXxN1AcaTZve42IMCZNB60Nv_BKCJbG27eQykMapjDsRyzP-Yg8ArwTg3A3qaABBfcFP80rf9vnmyX5UwcMwIe8z5pTLs8VU4Hc1TSEZbrkmnx416TV6JOaXTIZQo2CKrvCOU5ro9vZthaCvgS7u/s320/Coffin%20-%20No%20Smoking%20Day.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Coughing leads to coffin.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><i>7 year old:</i> "I don't know why I have a cough. I don't even smoke!"<br /><br />Unlike most fake quotes by parents that you find on twitter, I can imagine a child actually saying this.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />8) Finally, what's the biggest advantage of being a smoker?<br /><br />Not having to set aside money for your old age.<br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FZ99DWC" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hNSGtif34HE/Wgc3XAChuZI/AAAAAAAAJIY/Kpcp_7Wf94k3bpndgWoJoMV_hi4tUYmXQCLcBGAs/s1600/Burn%2BThe%2BWitch%2B-%2B468%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find my previous No Smoking Day blog posts below:<br /><a href="http://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2014/03/no-smoking-day.html" target="_blank">No Smoking Day (part 1)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/03/no-smoking-day-part-2.html" target="_blank">No Smoking Day (part 2)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-52885841040675741502024-03-02T09:01:00.015+00:002024-03-02T09:01:00.317+00:00 Captcha memes and jokesOne thing I find annoying about the internet is having to fill out captchas to prove I'm not a robot.<br /><br />However, the good news is that although this week's blog post features several captchas, you won't have to fill any of them out, because the captchas below aren't real captchas. They're just <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/11/random-silliness-part-3.html" target="_blank">silly</a> memes!<br /><br />
<h3>1) Bugs captcha</h3><br />At first glance, any insect experts reading this* may think that the following captcha is right up their street. However, closer inspection reveals that the captcha is targeted more towards computer programmers, rather than entomologists.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* Of which I'm sure there are many.</i></span><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikC0X5a_p1rzcXLmyqG6KfcBh8PiX0WORuadUiccIWi72yTLroI1j2xWiUgoxh5cc9WsLBAQMfX7HfUoOlTZbNUx4XxSUxbcw8Qu8I6UMvCD4HdWlCngmSULT4o6sd0dSRqXLcULnmlEOYawzvCfu6y3aVdVhLWIbwroPMkFnDGa_WoonUaFHg-jObwpIx/s690/Select%20all%20squares%20with%20bugs%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="690" data-original-width="474" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikC0X5a_p1rzcXLmyqG6KfcBh8PiX0WORuadUiccIWi72yTLroI1j2xWiUgoxh5cc9WsLBAQMfX7HfUoOlTZbNUx4XxSUxbcw8Qu8I6UMvCD4HdWlCngmSULT4o6sd0dSRqXLcULnmlEOYawzvCfu6y3aVdVhLWIbwroPMkFnDGa_WoonUaFHg-jObwpIx/w275-h400/Select%20all%20squares%20with%20bugs%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" width="275" /></a></div><br /><i>"Select all squares with bugs."</i><br /><br />
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<h3>2) Captcha warning</h3><br />If robots can't identify traffic lights and <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/10/funny-signs-part-3.html" target="_blank">sign</a> posts, then maybe self-driving cars are a bad idea!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>3) Doughnut captcha</h3><br />Here's a tricky captcha which I suspect robots would actually find hard to solve.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCZv5YxOT_amRiUW1xHu1QCXJIc0Plhlbnghaxx_vueo-kFKfKBRS_a6rGOAy5qgEa-_MwCT_Aqp5bH9zInXeCUeAy-ElflX-BFdLv0ouCuWhDpn5noBfXWIo7-xbg8WcYpD5i90tb9NkflOo_wF8vfCkYsNrtabFqKwQrvbjaczEeQHthzX9wuUmJBfeC/s800/Select%20all%20images%20containing%20doughnuts%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="550" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCZv5YxOT_amRiUW1xHu1QCXJIc0Plhlbnghaxx_vueo-kFKfKBRS_a6rGOAy5qgEa-_MwCT_Aqp5bH9zInXeCUeAy-ElflX-BFdLv0ouCuWhDpn5noBfXWIo7-xbg8WcYpD5i90tb9NkflOo_wF8vfCkYsNrtabFqKwQrvbjaczEeQHthzX9wuUmJBfeC/w275-h400/Select%20all%20images%20containing%20doughnuts%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" width="275" /></a></div><br /><i>"Select all images containing doughnuts."</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>4) Catcha for geniuses</h3><br />Internet 'are you human?' tests are getting a lot trickier nowadays...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikYyOpRxFSbdqR6mlelEH2UHTwVfEFN_oDXwzu4L-Y-d8EREWGmAFJOPjUsuf7F9E3XGrdeAcaaYeHR6XbHG1LjkcCiDgbZ-dZMsSg9aDQyRwB4nrua_uu94Oppn4dzdzuMAtZA4MAZIpDr8qNJlcFNiGqA-f2ic-EdBCjaaW_DSxHoYcfCwrHrQ1mb5ou/s520/Tricky%20captcha%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="284" data-original-width="520" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikYyOpRxFSbdqR6mlelEH2UHTwVfEFN_oDXwzu4L-Y-d8EREWGmAFJOPjUsuf7F9E3XGrdeAcaaYeHR6XbHG1LjkcCiDgbZ-dZMsSg9aDQyRwB4nrua_uu94Oppn4dzdzuMAtZA4MAZIpDr8qNJlcFNiGqA-f2ic-EdBCjaaW_DSxHoYcfCwrHrQ1mb5ou/s16000/Tricky%20captcha%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" /></a></div><br /><i>"To prove you are a human, please answer the following math challenge."</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>5) Snoop Dogg captcha</h3><br />Here's another <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/01/things-that-unintentionally-made-me.html" target="_blank">dog</a> themed captcha. Well ... kind of.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE8wibZOTjEIbtk5UxwrBpVy0GqMkZSHiKOrIcVBUGrat46ePalNuSRn6jdXqaS_CqiPFd3oXI1UdX9GOcFwmLYTJLAMhuKBY28C_3rnvan44HWG1Z3pDWA-yOGKQgLM0hYb9gNGzYsIu-WzupOR42S4-P-BQaqRYBUs-O_2C2kBa-c_sVILPr1RyY-2xZ/s727/Snoop%20Dogg%20captcha%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="727" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE8wibZOTjEIbtk5UxwrBpVy0GqMkZSHiKOrIcVBUGrat46ePalNuSRn6jdXqaS_CqiPFd3oXI1UdX9GOcFwmLYTJLAMhuKBY28C_3rnvan44HWG1Z3pDWA-yOGKQgLM0hYb9gNGzYsIu-WzupOR42S4-P-BQaqRYBUs-O_2C2kBa-c_sVILPr1RyY-2xZ/w275-h400/Snoop%20Dogg%20captcha%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" width="275" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That dog in the top left photo has really captured his expression!</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"To prove you are a human, please answer the following question..."</i><br /><br />Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?<br />Fo drizzle.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>6) Robot or human?</h3><br />Why did Mark Zuckerberg create <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/07/weird-facebook-likes-part-5.html" target="_blank">facebook</a>?*<br />He couldn't pass the captcha for My Space.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* Allegedly.</i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>7) Complaining captcha</h3><br />Finally, I'm feeling in a generous mood, so I'll give you a clue for this last captcha. You only need to select one of the images... <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx0ONlWKObiJe6FJdRDrBDWAPijffxiETpR6Uxur3q-H-SawH1uOjDfaEVm9yfSTD3KDtTOUI52Zg8IaCwFOnsjrUQuBiXdp5CeaiXpDi824EXumr5gaewTWLIv0lMrTOia-aqkSM2V7ccB9vrliOtdI7uR-JPYsaS2fwMORE_9HzwVNXW48k98WfNIghX/s745/Stolen%20childhood%20captcha%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="745" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx0ONlWKObiJe6FJdRDrBDWAPijffxiETpR6Uxur3q-H-SawH1uOjDfaEVm9yfSTD3KDtTOUI52Zg8IaCwFOnsjrUQuBiXdp5CeaiXpDi824EXumr5gaewTWLIv0lMrTOia-aqkSM2V7ccB9vrliOtdI7uR-JPYsaS2fwMORE_9HzwVNXW48k98WfNIghX/w269-h400/Stolen%20childhood%20captcha%20-%20Captcha%20Memes%20And%20Jokes.jpg" width="269" /></a></div><br /><br />On a final note, captcha stands for 'Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart'.<br /><br />So if you included every word in the acronym, then the correct spelling would be capttttcaha!<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />If you're a robot who gets frustrated at being unable to read webpages that are protected by captcha, then good news! My short story, '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B8V4R8Y" target="_blank">The Android</a>', has no captcha requirements to read it, and it's available from Amazon for both humans and robots!<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B8V4R8Y" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--4BDWZxr3d0/WtEddkT0nDI/AAAAAAAAJlI/3iLruPvkQTIW34DKzfa-IMINhKpcIExBACLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BAndroid%2B-%2B468x60%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more meme themed blog posts below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/05/star-wars-memes.html" target="_blank">Star Wars memes</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/06/stupid-autocorrect.html" target="_blank">Stupid autocorrect!</a><br /><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-88263968187499217852024-02-24T09:01:00.013+00:002024-02-24T09:01:00.135+00:00Fake headlines quizThis week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog puts your detective skills to the test with a multiple choice quiz on the theme of fake headlines. Each <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/01/random-multiple-choice-quiz.html" target="_blank">multiple choice</a> category features four headlines based on a similar theme, but only three of the <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/09/weird-headlines.html" target="_blank">headlines</a> are real headlines taken from actual news websites.<br /><br />Take a look at the following categories and see if you can spot which are the fake headlines:<br /><br />
<h3>Crime:</h3><br />To start things off, this first batch of headlines are all based on the unfortunately common news theme of crime.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWpQFUqQpkhYkRAomGfugihdoSW2aFXjj_RUBM4UGgVK2KOeHREoIcfDJnK5dLIGfR-FXLnOgrH1rWJfOvo_kp7Dbk5S8E5fv7phuUojmEON-lBP53GeVjA_9H4gtbPcem8MV7Ot2RhNTcNfgemAbVBBNCP3h9GVHcTKJuUXu0p3QxFiJEKBSjC-v1kgZy/s600/Invisible%20man%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="480" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWpQFUqQpkhYkRAomGfugihdoSW2aFXjj_RUBM4UGgVK2KOeHREoIcfDJnK5dLIGfR-FXLnOgrH1rWJfOvo_kp7Dbk5S8E5fv7phuUojmEON-lBP53GeVjA_9H4gtbPcem8MV7Ot2RhNTcNfgemAbVBBNCP3h9GVHcTKJuUXu0p3QxFiJEKBSjC-v1kgZy/s320/Invisible%20man%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Money well spent!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>A) <i>"A man tried to rob a bank after paying $500 to a wizard to make him invisible."</i><br /><br />On
first hearing this story, my reaction was, "There's no way that can
possibly be true." However, before making your decision, I should add
that the gullible dude lived in Iran where ridiculous superstitions are
apparently more commonly believed than in the West.*<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* With the exception of ****** ******* and ******* ******* obviously.</i></span></div><br /><br />B) <i>"Pub quiz cheats to face prison sentences of up to 6 years if Labour win the next general election, Keith Starmer announces."</i> <br /><br />With all the increasing real crimes in modern day Britain, it does seem a little bizarre to go after pub quiz cheats.<br /><br /><br />C) <i>"'Everyone makes mistakes' says teen who karate-kicked 74 year old man into River Mersey."</i><br /><br />I wonder if he'd be quite so relaxed if the judge 'mistakenly' gave him a fifty year prison sentence.<br /><br /><br />D) <i>"A prisoner who briefly died argues that he's served his life sentence."</i><br /><br />This
sounds like a silly joke headline that someone might make up, but
incredibly, the prisoner's case actually went to the Court Of Appeals in
Iowa!<br /><br /><i>Which headline is fake?</i><br />
<br />
<span><a name='more'></a></span>
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<h3>Evil journalists:</h3><br />We all know that journalists are evil, but just how low will they stoop? This next batch of headlines features a number of headlines which highlight that not only are journalists extremely evil, but they're also so out of touch with reality that they no longer feel the need to hide their evil from others.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE_AFMBq0L4m5txb-RctTOp1S0Z8sWW3PwHpzI_dVwQEmFCR2B5t_xLbsJlHJgDmmrkYFUIblaJCE3w_e3yNkQzIHpT6kHDMgBHkCL8tAYpk6gfh2cbZUuyzodjwdi_3vcBWvB7McHThGjfiXQWbyePluxf8B9pPP41SdYCabTxda-3jyCsOlO3q2fEYu/s700/Nuclear%20mushroom%20cloud%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="552" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieE_AFMBq0L4m5txb-RctTOp1S0Z8sWW3PwHpzI_dVwQEmFCR2B5t_xLbsJlHJgDmmrkYFUIblaJCE3w_e3yNkQzIHpT6kHDMgBHkCL8tAYpk6gfh2cbZUuyzodjwdi_3vcBWvB7McHThGjfiXQWbyePluxf8B9pPP41SdYCabTxda-3jyCsOlO3q2fEYu/s320/Nuclear%20mushroom%20cloud%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="252" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A nuclear mushroom cloud.<br /><br /><i>Evil journalists:</i> "Hooray!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>A) <i>"In the long run, wars make us safer and richer."</i><br /><br />And also dead.<br /><br /><br />B) <i>"War in the Congo has kept the planet cooler."</i><br /><br />Over 6 milion people have died in the war, but on the positive side, at least it means thousands of old people are going to freeze to death this winter!<br /><br /><br />C) <i>"Could a small nuclear war reverse global warming?"</i><br /><br />Well, as long as it's just a small one. I mean, we wouldn't want a big one!<br /><br /><br />D) <i>"Teenagers are dying of heart attacks: Here's why that's a good thing."</i><br /><br />Sadly, this is an increasing trend with modern journalism. Not only are they promoting evil, but they're also telling you how to think.<br /><i><br />Which headline is fake?</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>Silly:</h3><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6XtslcW-qxWD7s-Kn0NviqoMBPotVXtCTiUA9aLE6NOYaG2ygH__VDXTpGjoCNCgvjMcVSi98Rs1Y4o-QpBmj9za4w93mHFkHyz2qBX7VH94VN1WMzRA731w1F1XJh5caeGY99fTbqfYzVk_5ZR9M0HuOkBGWN8wLx2oGYLymMXaM4_XFtyrBImgivMjo/s600/Wedding%20photo%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="518" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6XtslcW-qxWD7s-Kn0NviqoMBPotVXtCTiUA9aLE6NOYaG2ygH__VDXTpGjoCNCgvjMcVSi98Rs1Y4o-QpBmj9za4w93mHFkHyz2qBX7VH94VN1WMzRA731w1F1XJh5caeGY99fTbqfYzVk_5ZR9M0HuOkBGWN8wLx2oGYLymMXaM4_XFtyrBImgivMjo/s320/Wedding%20photo%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="276" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Hey, I've got a crazy idea."<br />"What?"<br />"Let's get married ... during our wedding!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Thankfully, not all headlines are depressing. Some are just simply silly, as this next batch of headlines demonstrates.<br /><br />A) <i>"Couple gets married during wedding."</i><br /><br />How is that even news? Do the reporters not understand how weddings work?<br /><br /><br />B) <i>"Nigerian man dies and authorities find $27 million in his apartment. He had been unsuccessfully trying to give it away for 15 years prior to his death."</i><br /><br />In related news, a wise Nigerian prince once said, "I think therefore I scam."<br /><br /><br />C) <i>"Man wins competition to name Selby Leisure Centre and picks ... Selby Leisure Centre."</i><br /><br />It seems like a waste of time even entering the competition if he was just going to go for such a boringly unremarkable name.<br /><br /><br />D) <i>"37 stone man forced to pay for two seats on jet from Ireland. Finds they are rows apart."</i><br /><br />What did the airline expect him to do? Cut himself in half?<br /><br /><i>Which headline is fake?</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>Overly dramatic:</h3><br />This next set of headlines all feature stories which leave you thinking the headline writers have been somewhat overly dramatic.<br /><br />A) <i>"Mother, 37, cries tears of joy and describes it as 'the greatest day of her life' after Cadburys bring back Wispa bars."</i><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPbeYPOYlTlauOTPC7MFEDsriN2Yg702ru0jfodGBT7IhpNFkr_fev0AsCJP7lOjORYEI2VhJ9IfBS-QadfAhYr4ONxX5VELifcB5llrLye5xLO18tQTFt0EkuEths9knqBPxsyMpNsNlCJR3_Cl_EdKbKCK7MpSuTIwV7qNONr7wUpHjA47lhi3O9ZufI/s700/Chips%20on%20car%20roof%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="700" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPbeYPOYlTlauOTPC7MFEDsriN2Yg702ru0jfodGBT7IhpNFkr_fev0AsCJP7lOjORYEI2VhJ9IfBS-QadfAhYr4ONxX5VELifcB5llrLye5xLO18tQTFt0EkuEths9knqBPxsyMpNsNlCJR3_Cl_EdKbKCK7MpSuTIwV7qNONr7wUpHjA47lhi3O9ZufI/s320/Chips%20on%20car%20roof%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Harrowing scenes, pictured yesterday.<br />(Not to scale.)<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>I
have to admit, I'm also a fan of Wispa chocolate bars (particularly Wispa Golds), but
to describe it as the greatest day of her life is perhaps going too
far.<br /><br /><br />B) <i>"Deranged hooligans have thrown chips on a car roof."</i><br /><br />Not just hooligans, but 'deranged' hooligans!<br /><br /><br />C) <i>"Fury after Morrisons wouldn't sell couple meat pies before 9am."</i><br /><br />I would find it mildly annoying if some supermarket jobsworths wouldn't sell me meat pies in the morning, but surely to describe that frustration as 'fury' is a little bit disproportionate.<br /><br /><br />D) <i>"Dad, 83, 'needs therapy' after paying £54 for fish and chips in London."</i><br /><br />This is another one where I can sympathise with his frustration. However, 'needing therapy' has surely got to be an exagerration.<br /><i><br />Which headline is fake?</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>Ukraine:</h3><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLHQUaSAaR1giYCZau5oYwdFpY13EsWi09fp-dvbl5_ym2bpxciagbS71TMnGnvxw3XhykeFBEguMFYwNKteXradpY8I46B_YEmb8LLc7WziGXLz-_wxTKVIvfaVeG07IaQ7_XzSjkuzR990ci9FiUSrWadb4oFDhYM3loKETn-M9VdrUnXXszMPMP9RZH/s700/Blackpool%20Tower%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="450" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLHQUaSAaR1giYCZau5oYwdFpY13EsWi09fp-dvbl5_ym2bpxciagbS71TMnGnvxw3XhykeFBEguMFYwNKteXradpY8I46B_YEmb8LLc7WziGXLz-_wxTKVIvfaVeG07IaQ7_XzSjkuzR990ci9FiUSrWadb4oFDhYM3loKETn-M9VdrUnXXszMPMP9RZH/s320/Blackpool%20Tower%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="206" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Blackpool Tower, pictured in Blackpool<br />... for the benefit of anyone with a poor sense of direction.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Finally, here are four headlines based on Ukraine, but once again, only three of them are real.<br /><br />A) <i>"Couple demand refund for Blackpool gig 'because Ukraine war nakes it unsafe to travel from Hull.'"</i><br /><br />I'm guessing Geography isn't their strong point.<br /><br /><br />B) <i>"Couple who fled war in Ukraine decide to move back rather than live in Nottingham."</i><br /><br />In Nottingham's defense, I went there once for a stag weekend, and it seemed okay to me. Put it this way, if you offered me the choice between living in Nottingham or a war zone, I know which one I'd choose!<br /><br /><br />C) <i>"Here are six TikTok dances you can do to help Ukraine fight Russia."</i><br /><br />To be fair, doctors and nurses danced on the internet to help beat the WuFlu, so presumably this works along similar lines?<br /><br /><br />D) <i>"Russian cats are banned from international competitions."</i><br /><br />I'm sure that will come as a big relief to the people of Ukraine!<br /><br /><i>Which headline is fake?</i><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />Scroll down the page to discover which headlines were real, and which were fake...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvYAlg5FB_L5HTvaJIMvjYA-W1WwjANI5n5KacyglDZ6zpYw8_ZsArQnArB4AHZt9_GAxez-zt57nUQmIkKN_JvwcrLHnSFQNKvJaBZVwz06xRNzWsHv0jxVNLT7H-h1baTHumJes1bEub0gVIkX1UbHK88nLClHgNxn9ky4p0iOjS5YdRGUDP6ctRFFP/s700/Prisoner%20behind%20bars%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="464" data-original-width="700" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvYAlg5FB_L5HTvaJIMvjYA-W1WwjANI5n5KacyglDZ6zpYw8_ZsArQnArB4AHZt9_GAxez-zt57nUQmIkKN_JvwcrLHnSFQNKvJaBZVwz06xRNzWsHv0jxVNLT7H-h1baTHumJes1bEub0gVIkX1UbHK88nLClHgNxn9ky4p0iOjS5YdRGUDP6ctRFFP/s320/Prisoner%20behind%20bars%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Prisoner:</i> "Bah! If only I hadn't cheated in that pub quiz!"<br /><i>Prisoner's lawyer:</i> "Good news! You're being released!"<br /><i>Prisoner:</i> "Excellent! On what grounds?"<br /><i>Prisoner's lawyer:</i> "On the grounds that it was a made up headline."<br /><i>Prisoner:</i> "Phew! That's a relief!"</td></tr></tbody></table><i>Answers:</i><br /><br />The fake headlines were as follows:<br /><br /><b>Crime:</b><br /><br />B) <i>"Pub quiz cheats to face prison sentences of up to 6 years if Labour win the next general election, Keith Starmer announces."</i><br /><br />Thankfully, pub quiz cheats won't face the threat of prison. This was actually a silly headline posted by @FakeShowbizNews on twitter.<br /><br /><br /><b><br />Evil journalists:</b><br /><br />D) <i>"Teenagers are dying of heart attacks: Here's why that's a good thing."</i><br /><br />Teenagers <i>are </i>dying of heart attacks at increasing rates. However, it's not a good thing. It's a bad thing.<br /><br />Although that's just my opinion. I don't want to tell you how to think. Maybe you're also evil and therefore share the opinion of evil journalists. Make your own mind up.<br /><br /><br /><br /><b>Silly:</b><br /><br />B) <i>"Nigerian man dies and authorities find $27 million in his apartment. He had been unsuccessfully trying to give it away for 15 years prior to his death."</i><br /><br />This would be incredibly silly if it was true, but it's not. It's just made up! The actual figure was of course $35 million.<br /><br /><br /><br />
<b>Overly dramatic:</b><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPUpAoba4InEiHbMf9sBMRRuSOcVs403svHuonz_jCyhyphenhyphen6aDwPRR872YFVIHj6OqW54nEFx_sIOIVMFVK4zuwnWlvIwn-yduZ9NBnxwokYnyGdL3V1qKUW7TULzAnGf9pWv6LTs26BJl4b_2wVaPyQCOuiHaznewuo6G4XeuVHIz38yUSXvZJHJ3Y92gxn/s700/Wispa%20chocolate%20bar%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="255" data-original-width="700" height="117" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPUpAoba4InEiHbMf9sBMRRuSOcVs403svHuonz_jCyhyphenhyphen6aDwPRR872YFVIHj6OqW54nEFx_sIOIVMFVK4zuwnWlvIwn-yduZ9NBnxwokYnyGdL3V1qKUW7TULzAnGf9pWv6LTs26BJl4b_2wVaPyQCOuiHaznewuo6G4XeuVHIz38yUSXvZJHJ3Y92gxn/s320/Wispa%20chocolate%20bar%20-%20Fake%20Headlines%20Multiple%20Choice%20Quiz.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Have you heard the latest Wispa?"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
A) <i>"Mother, 37, cries tears of joy and describes it as 'the greatest day of her life' after Cadburys bring back Wispa bars."</i><br /><br />I'm sure there were a lot of happy people when Cadburys brought back Wispa chocolate bars, but as far as I'm aware, no-one described it as the greatest day of their lives.<br /><br /><br /><br /><b>Ukraine:</b><br /><br />C) <i>"Here are six TikTok dances you can do to help Ukraine fight Russia."</i><br /><br />Sadly, dancing on the internet has as much affect on ending war as it does on protecting people from the WuFlu.<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />How did you do?<br /><br />4-5 Congratulations. You're an expert at detecting fake headlines.<br />2-3 Not bad, but there's room for improvement. Try spending less time watching the BBC, and other similar propaganda outlets.<br />0-1 You are officially clueless at spotting fake headlines. You list your ******** in your social media profile, you still proudly post that you *** *** ******* two years after everyone else had realized that it was all a government scam to make money for *** ******, and you also have the ******* **** in your profile photo.<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />If you want to verify the headlines featured above then I'm afraid you'll have to either trust me, or look them up yourself, because I'm not going to support evil legacy media journalists by linking to the stories.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://l.linklyhq.com/l/1ZYGK" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbtfOEMYe3LwZvcW5pvxKtI2CS8vPnVy7G7rqBX6nmBN2pI7MO6EnWTeO7LsUvgbMipcWm0I0u8Rs33nitO3i1u4XgB41_4bkfWMDmOXSV-KwXOzd1MdsX2Ny6J3ZNvFALS0xzJCNUI7IZk760PuKmaa_RZraeCL3pB0eLjFazJYLKzTLqn4oHMjRbA/s16000/The%20Quiz%20Master%20-%20Ad%20468x60.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />Related posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/01/weird-headlines-with-corona-virus-theme.html" target="_blank">Weird headlines (with a corona virus theme)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/01/weird-headlines-part-2.html" target="_blank">Weird headlines (part 2)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-11442615707561896942024-02-17T09:01:00.008+00:002024-02-17T09:01:00.137+00:00Quirks of the English language (part 4)English can be a strange and confusing language, with lots of weird and wonderful <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/08/quirks-of-english-language.html" target="_blank">quirks</a>. This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog highlights a few more of those quirks.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvusfjgkC35k4eCVIR0JtczdEQSx0uWWyaNcE_2i1YRuNkxv7w4NCSGyBNUCeL4LwjZBwBX7wNwaxFAzA2BRt93OcaBnTbEizd986TJfOT1VnZN_X1l1Gmhon-M_HyLSUXPOOMyT1y7KfM4gJ5GyzGq_qYCLTkGcaa1nwI057AF1EkXSlCouV2KdimXTWY/s700/Baseball%20sketch%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="560" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvusfjgkC35k4eCVIR0JtczdEQSx0uWWyaNcE_2i1YRuNkxv7w4NCSGyBNUCeL4LwjZBwBX7wNwaxFAzA2BRt93OcaBnTbEizd986TJfOT1VnZN_X1l1Gmhon-M_HyLSUXPOOMyT1y7KfM4gJ5GyzGq_qYCLTkGcaa1nwI057AF1EkXSlCouV2KdimXTWY/s320/Baseball%20sketch%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" width="256" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A baseball player strikes the ball to avoid a strike.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
<h3>1) Cucumber as a cool</h3><br />The sentence, "Are you as <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/01/cool-sayings-from-around-world-part-4.html" target="_blank">cool</a> as I am?", can be said backwards and still makes sense.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>2) Contradictory language (part 1)</h3><br /><b>strike</b><br /><br /><i>Verb</i><br />1. To hit.<br />2. To miss in an attempt to hit (esp. baseball).<br />
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<h3>3) C for confusing</h3><br />Every C in 'Pacific Ocean' is pronounced differently.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>4) Rebellious language</h3><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5m5-l0_CgY9qiPFT_qbiFTBi3_I_Hi6NZbdBFX-xjZ1hFAp-9IGEUpR8tuQBdQB6epLYmnoZaoLOicL7gRYshoepp3CkozabkV3_RI36qHOUjXaUs1rQHNO0xRMlG5ret9ABNXjob7SI-b_B1iItXbbYuUC2oGiPNGSEByD6XAJKqV0Gily2uyP-mpS_G/s700/Cool%20as%20a%20pineapple%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="464" data-original-width="700" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5m5-l0_CgY9qiPFT_qbiFTBi3_I_Hi6NZbdBFX-xjZ1hFAp-9IGEUpR8tuQBdQB6epLYmnoZaoLOicL7gRYshoepp3CkozabkV3_RI36qHOUjXaUs1rQHNO0xRMlG5ret9ABNXjob7SI-b_B1iItXbbYuUC2oGiPNGSEByD6XAJKqV0Gily2uyP-mpS_G/s320/Cool%20as%20a%20pineapple%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cool as a pineapple.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Here's how to say pineappple in a few miscellaneous languages:<br /><br />Danish = Ananas<br />Dutch = Ananas<br />Finnish = Ananas<br />French = Ananas<br />German = Ananas<br />Icelandic = Ananas<br />Italian = Ananas<br />Norwegian = Ananas<br />Polish = Ananas<br />Swedish = Ananas<br />English = Pineapple!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">5) Weird logic</h3><br />When something is transported by ship, it's called a cargo.<br />When something is transported by car, it's called a shipment.<br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrKizTtbRJjNdy8MfbUeSkKIuLwGnjeAg4UJ0uHl6-c2dH_w7HzwI_lkU9AJsMhRzhQe_mvCKnuSkOtY8CScAiOSsSI4xn3khzUPLKN66C4hHORXXGxSe8ZkJFs-mnucGT0JB5O4-IJayXGeSrw9z-9EIARlZNhKEG7QKTVNpr42TVbD5Rz_GekdutNB3E/s700/No%20fishing%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="445" data-original-width="700" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrKizTtbRJjNdy8MfbUeSkKIuLwGnjeAg4UJ0uHl6-c2dH_w7HzwI_lkU9AJsMhRzhQe_mvCKnuSkOtY8CScAiOSsSI4xn3khzUPLKN66C4hHORXXGxSe8ZkJFs-mnucGT0JB5O4-IJayXGeSrw9z-9EIARlZNhKEG7QKTVNpr42TVbD5Rz_GekdutNB3E/s320/No%20fishing%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No fishing.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />
<h3>6) Bigger ghoti to fry<br /></h3>
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In the word 'tough', the 'f' sound is spelt 'gh'.<br />
In the word 'women', the 'i' sound is spelt 'o'.<br />
In the word 'nation', the 'sh' sound is spelt 'ti'.<br />
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So using the above logic, the correct way to spell fish would be ghoti!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>7) Inconsistent language</h3><br />It's normal to say 'kitty <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/04/cats-and-dogs-random-thoughts-and.html" target="_blank">cat</a>' or 'puppy dog', but completely weird to say 'calf cow' or 'duckling duck'.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>8) Numerous Nationalities</h3><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw22cHFS-vZ11Jl_dpnRCldOn2nML50HdA-0ph_KxB8ceqMgqK7cc6StG4Ll71N_9X1tR10FQmfAoIehrPnZ8mUSmxvQURQaKH1lPkivLnWzNmEJUjdaBh0Z2mBPSCXra2-iG4b0TVoND31cejwgof7jDLtDclsiZEkCct4IVE3clrGRNtLLKo5JtnPl5d/s700/Ice%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="445" data-original-width="700" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw22cHFS-vZ11Jl_dpnRCldOn2nML50HdA-0ph_KxB8ceqMgqK7cc6StG4Ll71N_9X1tR10FQmfAoIehrPnZ8mUSmxvQURQaKH1lPkivLnWzNmEJUjdaBh0Z2mBPSCXra2-iG4b0TVoND31cejwgof7jDLtDclsiZEkCct4IVE3clrGRNtLLKo5JtnPl5d/s320/Ice%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Icelandic, Icelish or Ice?<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
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<i>Horace: </i>"A person from England is English."<br /><i>Sidney:</i> "So a person from Switzerland is Switzerlish?"<br /><i>Horace:</i> "No, a person from Switzerland is Swiss."<br />Sidney: "So a person from Iceland is Ice?"<br />Horace: "No, a person from Iceland is Icelandic."<br /><i>Sidney:</i> "So a person from <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/02/how-to-spot-fake-goods-in-thailand.html" target="_blank">Thailand</a> is Thailandic?"<br /><i>Horace:</i> "No, a person from Thailand is Thai."<br /><i>Sidney:</i> "Aargh! Eng is a confusing language!"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>9) Contradictory language (part 2)</h3><br /><b>hold up</b><br /><br /><i>Verb</i><br />1. To support.<br />2. To impede.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>10) Versatile emphasis</h3><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVtcXxJbLHCWadVWQ1tOhsvwI5OSFTCsgtJ3r3GJrxs79dtVphQtjh02o6RNfTk2oUzDdmhnnox5VNc7vhCQah_QPXTL-gmSxEY_Gt-nOqCLBiFIS_x_l8N0phhQddFAQO0MuyMJQv-e9jCWuw-YOgp8vHuG1CorOxiQ52C0sEbxq5J0QLcfTATAsf_5Yw/s700/Internal%20Revenue%20Service%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="582" data-original-width="700" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVtcXxJbLHCWadVWQ1tOhsvwI5OSFTCsgtJ3r3GJrxs79dtVphQtjh02o6RNfTk2oUzDdmhnnox5VNc7vhCQah_QPXTL-gmSxEY_Gt-nOqCLBiFIS_x_l8N0phhQddFAQO0MuyMJQv-e9jCWuw-YOgp8vHuG1CorOxiQ52C0sEbxq5J0QLcfTATAsf_5Yw/s320/Internal%20Revenue%20Service%20-%20Quirks%20Of%20The%20English%20Language.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Internal Revenue Service, pictured yesterday.<br /><br /><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, why have you included<br />a picture of the IRS next to a post about stealing?"<br /><i>Charles:</i> "Oops! How did that happen!?<br />It must have been a mistake." <i>**shifty eyes**</i><br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table>Finally, as well as being weird and wonderful, English can also be a
very versatile language. For example, the following sentence can have
seven different meanings depending on which word is stressed.<i><br /><br />I</i> never said she stole my money. (Someone said it, but it wasn't me.)<br /><br />I <i>never </i>said she stole my money. (At no time did I say she stole my money.)<br /><br />I never <i>said </i>she stole my money. (I didn't say it, but I implied it.)<br /> <br />I never said <i>she </i>stole my money. (I just said someone stole my money.)<br /> <br />I never said she <i>stole </i>my money. (I said she did something else with my money).<br /> <br />I never said she stole <i>my </i>money. (I said she stole someone else's money.)<br /> <br />I never said she stole my <i>money</i>. (I said she stole something else belonging to me.)<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />If any readers know of any more quirks found in the English language, then feel free to leave a quirky comment. (Or even a regular unquirky comment, if you prefer.)<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071FLG26S" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wQ5IzYDCTxg/WTJ7HQbeyMI/AAAAAAAAI5M/XJ-p6Rp-BjkAHN0GOl17U8tsYZILocJeQCLcB/s1600/Cashier%2B468x60%2Bad%2B4000.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more quirks of the English language below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/12/quirks-of-english-language-part-2.html" target="_blank">Quirks of the English language (part 2)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/03/quirks-of-english-language-part-3.html" target="_blank">Quirks of the English language (part 3)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-12195543863399407472024-02-10T09:01:00.011+00:002024-03-07T12:33:51.229+00:0015 Alan Partridge quotes (part 2)A new Alan Partridge series was announced this week; 'And Did Those Feet... with Alan Partridge', a spoof documentary which follows Alan as he reintegrates into life in Britain after a year working in Saudi Arabia.<br /><br />There's no release date as yet, however, so for any Alan Partridge fans, here's another selection of <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/04/15-alan-partridge-quotes.html" target="_blank">Alan Partridge quotes</a> to keep you going until 'And Did Those Feet' hits our screens.<br />
<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A_LVf2xuUWQ/YILy32UJ_4I/AAAAAAAAMHc/Tn17swodnestyFU5ZSjkziLaFxRNTx-ZwCLcBGAsYHQ/s800/Partridge%2Band%2Bhawk%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="414" data-original-width="800" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A_LVf2xuUWQ/YILy32UJ_4I/AAAAAAAAMHc/Tn17swodnestyFU5ZSjkziLaFxRNTx-ZwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Partridge%2Band%2Bhawk%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Alan Partridge discusses hawks.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>1) "Today's sad story is from Deidre Thomas from Dibbs Lane in Holt. 'Dear
Alan, I want to be as honest as I can with you, so I hope you'll
understand that I'd rather remain anonymous...'"<br /><br /><br /><br />2) "My greatest achievement is my consistent resistance to dumbing down. I think if anything, I’ve tried to dumb up."<br />
<br />
<br /><br />3) <i>To a hawk at a bird sanctuary...</i><br />
<br />
"I'm sorry Mr Hawk, your pardon has been turned down. You have been found guilty of
premeditated homicide of a mouse, and you will be hanged by the neck
until dead. And don’t try to hover up so that the rope goes slack. They
could do that, couldn't they?"<br />
<br />
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<br /><br />4) "Today's phone in subject is ‘How many
disabled parking bays is too many?’"<br />
<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j08cCeUX-Qw/YIL0jW6nomI/AAAAAAAAMHk/PEy-TcaAEPYMG9SvLNy2zcHsy6rpBw0swCLcBGAsYHQ/s700/Latin%252C%2BMemento%2BMori%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="700" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j08cCeUX-Qw/YIL0jW6nomI/AAAAAAAAMHk/PEy-TcaAEPYMG9SvLNy2zcHsy6rpBw0swCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Latin%252C%2BMemento%2BMori%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" width="260" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Latin.<br />An essential qualification for all electrical store workers,<br />apparently, according to Alan Partridge.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />
5) <i>On the phone to Currys...</i><br />
<br />
"Hello, is that Currys? I'd like to place an order for two supplementary
auxiliary speakers, to go with my midi hi-fi system, apropos achieving
surround sound. ... ‘Apropos’ ... It’s Latin. You ought to have a basic grasp of
Latin if you're working in Currys."<br /><br /><br /><br />6) "'This is North Norfolk Digital, sustaining and
maintaining our core listenership, in an increasingly fragmented marketplace.'<br /><br />Sorry, I've
just realised I read that from an internal memo. That wasn't meant for you to hear. Sorry."<br />
<br /><br /><br />
7) "Guide dogs for the blind. It’s cruel really, isn't it?
Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them."<br /><br /><br /><br />8) <i>Alan:</i> "Do you know the expression, 'A face doesn't lie'?"<br />
<i>Guest:</i> "No."<br />
<i>Alan: </i>"It's quite a new one."<br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7jZIorxsEsc/YILxNq5GjZI/AAAAAAAAMHQ/_GYGFK5JjmkGxcE4taBYKvPGDJuHXib4wCLcBGAsYHQ/s700/Hula%2Bhoops%252C%2Bthe%2Btoy%2Bnot%2Bthe%2Bcrisps%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="516" height="260" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7jZIorxsEsc/YILxNq5GjZI/AAAAAAAAMHQ/_GYGFK5JjmkGxcE4taBYKvPGDJuHXib4wCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Hula%2Bhoops%252C%2Bthe%2Btoy%2Bnot%2Bthe%2Bcrisps%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hula hoops<br />(the toy, not the crisps).<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />
9)<i> Interviewing Noel Gallagher...</i><br /><br />"Coward. Edmonds. Gordon. And
now Gallagher. What is it about Noels throughout the ages that has
captured the public imagination?"<br /><br /><br /><br />10) <i>Fashion expert:</i> "Our first skirt is a circle skirt modelled by the beautiful Kirsty. Just sixty five pounds."<br />
<i>Alan:</i> "She can't be! Oh, you mean the price."<br /><br /><br /><br />
11) "Today we're talking about things you don’t see much of anymore.
Already we have capes, tinned meat, Horlicks, sparrows, Hula Hoops (the
crisps, not the toy), hula hoops (the toy, not the crisps), swimming
pools with deep ends, and asbestos."<br /><br /><br /><br />
12) "If oil is known as black gold, then perhaps water should be known as see-through <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/11/im-not-going-to-mention-peanuts-gold.html" target="_blank">gold</a>."<br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QMqpI7zLrDE/YIL2wSyQ32I/AAAAAAAAMH0/dMln90oTw8YeuLUdZz87lshYqSozvCESgCLcBGAsYHQ/s700/Inner-city%2Bsumo%2Bwith%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="506" height="260" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QMqpI7zLrDE/YIL2wSyQ32I/AAAAAAAAMH0/dMln90oTw8YeuLUdZz87lshYqSozvCESgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Inner-city%2Bsumo%2Bwith%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2B-%2BAlan%2BPartridge%2BQuotes.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Inner-City Sumo With Alan Partridge.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>13) <i>Guest:</i> "Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Give him a fishing rod..."<br />
<i>Alan:</i> "He'll probably come back the next day saying, 'You know that fishing
rod you gave me? Can I have another?' 'What happened to the one I gave
you?' 'Oh, I sold it.' 'Let me guess, to buy some skag.' 'No, to buy
some fish. I was hungry.' 'Did it not occur to you that you could have
used the fishing rod to catch some fish?' 'Oh, I haven't got a permit
and I don't know where to get one.' '<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/01/weird-google-searches-part-4.html" target="_blank">Google</a> it!'"<br /><br /><br /><br /><i>Pitching the greatest TV show idea never to be made...</i><br />
<br />14) "Inner-City Sumo With Alan Partridge. We take fat people from the inner cities, put
them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a
circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. Very cheap to make. Do it
in a pub car park."<br />
<br /><br /><br /><i>And finally, a quote from Alan when introducing This Time...</i><br /><br />15) "It's that time. High time to say if you've got time to give This
Time your time, then its time to let This Time spend time making your
time a good time on This Time."<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://smarturl.it/KitkatShortStory" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GvKBiPufqPM/XHLYMHdT2ZI/AAAAAAAAKWM/DYjDPt4d5Nsb7JBv8QlZFJnIELsuTatzwCLcBGAs/s1600/Chocolate%2Bbar%2Bor%2Bbiscuit%2B468x60%2Bad.gif" /></a></div>
<br /><br />You can find more Alan Partridge quotes in my previous blog posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/10/who-said-it-alan-partridge-or-richard.html" target="_blank">Who said it: Alan Partridge or Richard Madeley? </a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/04/15-alan-partridge-quotes.html" target="_blank">15 Alan Partridge quotes (part 1)<br /></a>Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-66063296439536137872024-02-03T09:01:00.011+00:002024-02-03T09:01:00.143+00:00Library humourLibraries have a reputation for being somewhere where you can read books. Deservedly so, some would argue.<br /><br />However, libraries can also be a source of humour, as the following memes demonstrate...<br /><br />
<h3>1) Mystery humour<br /></h3><br />To start things off, here's a book category which does exactly what it says on the tin.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju0Eit19IIz-bERBiiph_fDNm_jKM8sYoUQ0Ee6JC3dbsuiOy3WRNZetPXX6txEVqAeqcTeDML5SVvZrLvbKz5nW01f9zYoCqrbkjmih3c-z0yE1RvpouvA7IF1WhUQZ3Hq9baUOlGxqcPHv1L5PhsotXsbFCGT_BQ47kmbx_cXG2BQ87VmKhfru4nqs0C/s572/Mystery%20section%20at%20the%20library%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="572" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju0Eit19IIz-bERBiiph_fDNm_jKM8sYoUQ0Ee6JC3dbsuiOy3WRNZetPXX6txEVqAeqcTeDML5SVvZrLvbKz5nW01f9zYoCqrbkjmih3c-z0yE1RvpouvA7IF1WhUQZ3Hq9baUOlGxqcPHv1L5PhsotXsbFCGT_BQ47kmbx_cXG2BQ87VmKhfru4nqs0C/s16000/Mystery%20section%20at%20the%20library%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/ViZ6ljy.jpeg" target="_blank">imgur</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Mystery by name...<br /><br />...mystery by nature!<br />
<br />
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<br /><br /><br />
<h3>2) Wise advice (part 1)<br /></h3><br />I asked the librarian, "Where's the Self-Help section?"<br /><br />"If I told you, it would defeat the purpose!" she replied.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>3) A cautionary tale</h3><br />We interrupt this blog post to bring you a word of advice found on a sign in one local library.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-M71oc1q4sZHJ1tw5tKGns-KFa611TJ87S_pNmQ6lYeqsU8252n8R-RCEbiDIe6mI3OdNRrnhfCWxMg-tStl4uzSb11bw_xNdoQrpKNf0_lbPn_mGGwr2_1HOIc0aINBoXnyVf2LLcyc3gswZGaSB5IpiMpl5MoZN5SOdA9tbyWDoh-DXzx-4SfEXS-XC/s500/Dinosaurs%20didn't%20read%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-M71oc1q4sZHJ1tw5tKGns-KFa611TJ87S_pNmQ6lYeqsU8252n8R-RCEbiDIe6mI3OdNRrnhfCWxMg-tStl4uzSb11bw_xNdoQrpKNf0_lbPn_mGGwr2_1HOIc0aINBoXnyVf2LLcyc3gswZGaSB5IpiMpl5MoZN5SOdA9tbyWDoh-DXzx-4SfEXS-XC/s16000/Dinosaurs%20didn't%20read%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="http://i.pinimg.com/750x/86/c0/89/86c089c5ebfb4826e22a61f7e514d563.jpg" target="_blank">Pinterest</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Dinosaurs didn't read. Now they are extinct."</i><br /><br />I'm not saying the two are related, but I'm not saying they're <i>not </i>related.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>4) Cats and dogs</h3><br />A man walked into a library and said, "I'm looking for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schrodinger's cat."<br /><br />"It rings a bell," the librarian replied, "but I'm not sure if it's there or not."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>5) Wise Advice (part 2)<br /></h3><br />Here's a joke that only social media users will get.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYBbgkbxhbc57KMLPu2arvq5zdQaerurb4hxXaFmBhc3vamfZzHg8dnNlsF0vdvp39xTVn_YlJT6tBVNrVdP3sMukhVrzw8CysU4cu2XDmR0dxdY2NooO3dvpI34LpuKXDl0pQzXcuf3aokuCkq7nvQjynaRcGofYrcw2fBea1eGVS4AUSJ_qOVNtXY54/s470/What%20did%20the%20librarian%20say%20to%20the%20child%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="181" data-original-width="470" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcYBbgkbxhbc57KMLPu2arvq5zdQaerurb4hxXaFmBhc3vamfZzHg8dnNlsF0vdvp39xTVn_YlJT6tBVNrVdP3sMukhVrzw8CysU4cu2XDmR0dxdY2NooO3dvpI34LpuKXDl0pQzXcuf3aokuCkq7nvQjynaRcGofYrcw2fBea1eGVS4AUSJ_qOVNtXY54/s16000/What%20did%20the%20librarian%20say%20to%20the%20child%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" /></a></div><br /><i>"Read more."</i><br /><br />Wise advice to give to children, and also an annoying button to click on social media feeds.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>6) Space humour</h3><br />This wasn't the type of 'space' I was looking for.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGJIckby05to3q0so1JTwciilwE-_X0g7I_bWbEt3wiVvSQN_3hEGxUBS4nyW4bg22OTb0eg3-zxcqPtRmEe5btp0kCNHLZxG_kybGNZT-Q52x5UOWiasFSy4rOfK4SgjgraB3cUFTBvni34F-bCH5aJCu0-DGwj8icyjJ15pJr89pi2Xn_wteOY3QgEZ3/s500/Space%20section%20at%20the%20library%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGJIckby05to3q0so1JTwciilwE-_X0g7I_bWbEt3wiVvSQN_3hEGxUBS4nyW4bg22OTb0eg3-zxcqPtRmEe5btp0kCNHLZxG_kybGNZT-Q52x5UOWiasFSy4rOfK4SgjgraB3cUFTBvni34F-bCH5aJCu0-DGwj8icyjJ15pJr89pi2Xn_wteOY3QgEZ3/s16000/Space%20section%20at%20the%20library%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/mGVlx4S.jpeg" target="_blank">imgur</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Space by name...<br /><br />...space by nature!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>7) Unprofessional behaviour</h3><br />I went to my local library and the librarian was throwing
Stephen King books at everyone. I thought to myself, "Why are they
doing that?"<br /><br />Then IT hit me.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Legal
disclaimer: As I'm sure everyone already realizes, the above events
didn't really happen in my local library. My local librarians are far
too professional to engage in such childish behaviour.<br /><br />I was of course in my neighbouring city's library when the events described occured.</i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>8) "If you don't know the words..."</h3><br />Finally, I suspect whoever displayed these library books was a fan of the old 60s Batman TV show.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR7r-Da5Pd1434N_hwObjH4MxEpSX8ybCq-JUZ74OmbGiGthEG-875sfGGlCnsyLIclwb3PkbVrHoQ_EYeniZpeCzpI8PyCuJ7-RyaT6NLx4YdCEqNwnjvphYE-DgFqwy8EtWBGcBDGhnpS8BopJPwUEGoGjUvNRy3hPIyGDKMoEi3VxyrRGUZO7MiYP5h/s500/Na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20Batman%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="485" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR7r-Da5Pd1434N_hwObjH4MxEpSX8ybCq-JUZ74OmbGiGthEG-875sfGGlCnsyLIclwb3PkbVrHoQ_EYeniZpeCzpI8PyCuJ7-RyaT6NLx4YdCEqNwnjvphYE-DgFqwy8EtWBGcBDGhnpS8BopJPwUEGoGjUvNRy3hPIyGDKMoEi3VxyrRGUZO7MiYP5h/s16000/Na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20na%20Batman%20-%20Library%20Humour.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://quotesgram.com/img/funny-quotes-about-librarians/7500906/" target="_blank">Quotesgram</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Na na na na na na na na na, Batman!<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09JZW82XS" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-utre7P-6kx8/YYlECiT2Z7I/AAAAAAAAMug/bRG6VbCh9w8wL8evkVrCaFuFNwvmTY6PACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/The%2BFreedom%2BLottery%2B-%2BAdvert%2B468x60.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />Related posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/06/banned-books.html" target="_blank">10 books that were surprisingly banned</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2014/11/how-not-to-write-helpful-book-review.html" target="_blank">How <i>not</i> to write a helpful book review</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-8624310187402671922024-01-27T09:01:00.007+00:002024-01-27T17:00:31.307+00:00Funny sports quotes (part 2)I often feature <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/08/funny-football-quotes-part-14.html" target="_blank">funny football quotes</a> on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, but this week I spread the net further afield as I round up a collection of funny quotes from a variety of miscellaneous sports.<br /><br />To start things off, here are a couple of tennis quotes which made me chuckle...<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHYIaWf3-ao9zEzvihZQmbK0857U2FrWZcPbdjM0DBMpfKt-cV0q6KoC-VqYtwEjk5Tjdcy1cqq4bN-c8QnNxhzgFQEkneftB62rsHp5v6gi3hAKGf_pr45pFSSjXgizkb_T-DY_9PZW5xpymX-MXIMwIFXufb6Zc5Gx66tt4c-AGWdvVDpg0s93HbWR0l/s700/Hold%20breath%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="700" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHYIaWf3-ao9zEzvihZQmbK0857U2FrWZcPbdjM0DBMpfKt-cV0q6KoC-VqYtwEjk5Tjdcy1cqq4bN-c8QnNxhzgFQEkneftB62rsHp5v6gi3hAKGf_pr45pFSSjXgizkb_T-DY_9PZW5xpymX-MXIMwIFXufb6Zc5Gx66tt4c-AGWdvVDpg0s93HbWR0l/s320/Hold%20breath%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember John Lloyd's advice!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
<h3>Tennis:</h3>
<br />
1) "It is vital in a match like this that Chris remembers to breathe."<br />
<i>...John Lloyd.</i><br /><br />I would say that was vital in any match!<br />
<br /><br />2) "Every player can serve over 125 miles."<br />
<i>...Roger Federer.</i><br /><br />Wow! 125 miles? That's a very far serve!<br />
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<h3>Football:</h3><br />3) "Sheffield Wednesday are third in the table. You couldn't be any higher."<br /><i>…Ian Abrahams</i><br /><br /><br />4) "Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds … totally against the run of play!"<br /><i>…Peter Lorenzo</i><br /><br />Apparently for the first 21 seconds, Forest had hardly touched the ball!<br /><br />
<br /><br />
<h3>Basketball:</h3>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcQ02xdnbtDaF_v_dFOmHsdv6Vi2DFdvGaHCV-FspzXGMa84LqFysXhbG8tzzr1f8Vi-EdSbzJTKL3EtRs0oLpX2J6I552nScNY5EQnFiS3u1a7dBUG_hsWOQM1kFFtD4UcUu-8uzyVZuvVLA4KY7CJzjWit8DklNjXiOnHOmUIlCEcHvTdkAK-1sIlDVS/s700/Escape%20goat%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="700" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcQ02xdnbtDaF_v_dFOmHsdv6Vi2DFdvGaHCV-FspzXGMa84LqFysXhbG8tzzr1f8Vi-EdSbzJTKL3EtRs0oLpX2J6I552nScNY5EQnFiS3u1a7dBUG_hsWOQM1kFFtD4UcUu-8uzyVZuvVLA4KY7CJzjWit8DklNjXiOnHOmUIlCEcHvTdkAK-1sIlDVS/s320/Escape%20goat%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An <strike>scapegoat</strike> escape goat.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
5) "Any time Detroit score more than 100 points and hold the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."<br />
<i>...Doug Collins.</i><br /><br />Only almost?<br />
<br /><br />6) "I ain't gonna be no escape goat."<br />
<i>...Karl Malone.</i><br /><br />On an unrelated note, he's also not going to take the blame for something he didn't do.<br />
<br />
<br /><br />
<h3>Athletics:</h3><br />7) "It wasn't an easy qualification heat for her, even though she did qualify easily."<br /><i>...Colin Jackson</i><br /><br />It wasn't easy to type that quote, even though it was easy.<br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrNxYeXJc9DxioiAgarcdCR9CTZICKNVLmzR9bcYyiE8k8sI0woNAKy21iy0pTgByD7nvqmJDxl0MyFVpKCLFPjeEM55sJqm2ByApeuEpPGfuPz5zDn4kX8X04Gxf-Ah73o83rfFUTueHWsD0wapSKRjAYKYapACN6UUfxwNrp9dytnv6G_U1FfOYLyuvr/s700/Wheelchair%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="436" data-original-width="700" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrNxYeXJc9DxioiAgarcdCR9CTZICKNVLmzR9bcYyiE8k8sI0woNAKy21iy0pTgByD7nvqmJDxl0MyFVpKCLFPjeEM55sJqm2ByApeuEpPGfuPz5zDn4kX8X04Gxf-Ah73o83rfFUTueHWsD0wapSKRjAYKYapACN6UUfxwNrp9dytnv6G_U1FfOYLyuvr/s320/Wheelchair%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An essential piece of skiing equipment,<br />according to Lord Mancroft.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />
<h3>Skiing:</h3>
<br />8) "There are really only three things to learn in skiing: how to put on
your skis, how to slide downhill, and how to walk along the hospital
corridor."<br />
<i>...Lord Mancroft</i><br />
<br /><br /><br />
<h3>NFL:</h3>
<br />
9) "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."<br />
<i>...George Rogers.</i><br /><br />My money's on 1,000 yards.<br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>UFC:</h3>
<br />
10) "I'm the oldest I've ever been right now."<br />
<i>...Tim Sylvia.</i><br /><br />What a coincidence! So am I!<br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE8dbMJP_tEBK0vBKpvE_i_myJz6_j3mtKN1rBJsEsHm0Njkh8xMWnwFeZHUa1U4WBhvG9BRokkWwUfeGnZHhCh50ARbgjEPHfjmxxFFxcU0RJVE0uGiSHFgeMDPZqz4JLZj5fY2qqe_lzN3eto6yNIToVCW4IPD96IA0ly1UxJ-Bv4gYqB-h7bv0EOxyp/s700/Kangaroo%20boxing%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="422" data-original-width="700" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE8dbMJP_tEBK0vBKpvE_i_myJz6_j3mtKN1rBJsEsHm0Njkh8xMWnwFeZHUa1U4WBhvG9BRokkWwUfeGnZHhCh50ARbgjEPHfjmxxFFxcU0RJVE0uGiSHFgeMDPZqz4JLZj5fY2qqe_lzN3eto6yNIToVCW4IPD96IA0ly1UxJ-Bv4gYqB-h7bv0EOxyp/s320/Kangaroo%20boxing%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Float like a butterfly, sting like a ... kangaroo."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
<h3>Boxing:</h3>
<br />11) "You can sum up boxing in two words, 'You never know.'"<br />
<i>...Lou Duva</i><br /><br /><br />
12) "I quit school in the sixth grade because of pneumonia. Not because I had it, but because I couldn't spell it.<br />
<i>...Rocky Graziano</i><br />
<br />
<br /><br />
<h3>Cricket:</h3><br />13) "The slow motion replay doesn't show how fast the ball was really travelling."<br /><i>...Richie Benaud</i><br /><br />Yes, slow motion tends to do that.<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHaRgd1fSQDB8WIzQMqix5CM3lWkGUIQ7LeN3CZr-m5l3EuxSHaywF9tgcaiifOHQaXQfdwWiK_0mQDs6Q2teuMBlqo0SbkosixYJmnX3kxpwvnmlg9KtaDuTeyZUFpdbS23RgncjrQ83blgSQIC69dQWwC7_reRdOD1hKmRlVG77TxT3VRBXPsJJ2IiX/s700/He-Man%20playing%20snooker%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="539" data-original-width="700" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYHaRgd1fSQDB8WIzQMqix5CM3lWkGUIQ7LeN3CZr-m5l3EuxSHaywF9tgcaiifOHQaXQfdwWiK_0mQDs6Q2teuMBlqo0SbkosixYJmnX3kxpwvnmlg9KtaDuTeyZUFpdbS23RgncjrQ83blgSQIC69dQWwC7_reRdOD1hKmRlVG77TxT3VRBXPsJJ2IiX/s320/He-Man%20playing%20snooker%20-%20Funny%20Sports%20Quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>He-Man: </i>"I have the power ... to pot the red!"<br /><i>Referee:</i> "Sorry, He-Man. That's not suitable dress code<br />for playing snooker. You have to wear a tie."</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />
<h3>Snooker:</h3><br />
14) "I swear on my mother's life... My late mother's life."<br />
<i>...Alex Higgins</i><br />
<br /><br />
15) "I put the tape in and we all found ourselves watching He-Man Masters of the Universe."<br />
<i>...Joe
Johnson</i><br /><br />Joe had attempted to watch a video of his 1986 World Snooker Championship victory, only to discover his kids had taped over it!<br />
<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FUZLD9G" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gPESmomgCaw/Vz9wutOQJ1I/AAAAAAAAH7U/g4e9iV0SHWUwazNpLI5Uxx2x8zhtAcNqwCLcB/s1600/Dilly%2BDing%252C%2BDilly%2BDong%2B480x80.gif" /></a></div><br />
<br />
You can find more amusing sports quotes below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/10/funny-sports-quotes.html" target="_blank">Funny sports quotes</a><br />
<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/03/murray-walker-quotes-part-2.html" target="_blank">Murray Walker quotes</a><br />
Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-14553145741869180342024-01-20T09:01:00.006+00:002024-01-20T09:01:00.134+00:00They did the math(s), badlyWhen someone has analysed the statistics to arrive at an accurate and impressive conclusion, we sum that up by saying, 'They did the math(s)."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* In the UK, we say 'they did the maths'. In the US, it's 'they did
the math', so delete as appropriate based on your location.</i></span><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB_EwcfDzq4JcrJw9JdW7Xrz1lho-m0Rd7WuhKCvJFl22DNn8vWwXperzRNbups6urSA00eRGoueLaoH1kaWNtP_9xERGFnIiJUpO03M46iUVN3w8-ijHLTbUlei-djwhA_bLY7yA0_WZYKAmEHzQhmKBxIWXuBb3ehEictixtA3-DU-rcFn5mcLH-EQ/s700/Emirates%20Stadium%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="700" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB_EwcfDzq4JcrJw9JdW7Xrz1lho-m0Rd7WuhKCvJFl22DNn8vWwXperzRNbups6urSA00eRGoueLaoH1kaWNtP_9xERGFnIiJUpO03M46iUVN3w8-ijHLTbUlei-djwhA_bLY7yA0_WZYKAmEHzQhmKBxIWXuBb3ehEictixtA3-DU-rcFn5mcLH-EQ/s320/Emirates%20Stadium%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An empty Emirates Stadium, after Mikel Arteta implements<br />a mathematically impossible selection criteria.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>However, not everyone that does the math(s), does so correctly. Here are some examples where they did the math(s) ... badly.<br /><br />
<h3>1) No players</h3><br />Here's a quote from Mikel Arteta which suggests he plans to field a team of no players, after failing to understand the basic rules of percentages.<br /><br />Mikel Arteta: <i>"My philosophy will be clear. I will have everyone 120% committed, that's the first thing. If not, you don't play for me."</i><br /><br />Footballers are known for their intelligence<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> **shifty eyes**</i></span></b>, so presumably the Arsenal players ruled themselves out of contention...<br /><br /><i>"Sorry, boss. The most I can possibly be committed is 100%, so I'm afraid I can't play."</i><br />
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<h3>2) Cheap at half the price</h3><br />Next, here's an advert on facebook which demonstrates why you should always pay attention at school when learning basic arithmetic.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4yqNXEj-fXolQ51CmjdNcdfKmEKKofxInFJJr9yaCg5ElncaaKgiulP-uzBsrzQJUXguTQqZaskg30LaZ47yPNCFdXz1HRbf-NcbAg7Lt-f-JYCcKv-s6WBxzG8VwadfMQiLNyb8usprVbeiNA99xe64KwFG9kHBNEUG2R4fRgXgZRKfgdvFTmNR2sg/s554/Bicycles%20for%20sale%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4yqNXEj-fXolQ51CmjdNcdfKmEKKofxInFJJr9yaCg5ElncaaKgiulP-uzBsrzQJUXguTQqZaskg30LaZ47yPNCFdXz1HRbf-NcbAg7Lt-f-JYCcKv-s6WBxzG8VwadfMQiLNyb8usprVbeiNA99xe64KwFG9kHBNEUG2R4fRgXgZRKfgdvFTmNR2sg/s16000/Bicycles%20for%20sale%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" /></a></div><br /><i>"60 pounds for both, or 25 pounds each."<br />"How about £50 for them both?"<br />"Sorry, I'm not selling them for less than £60."<br />"Sigh, okay then. Here's £25 for the one on the left, and another £25 for the one on the right."<br />"Deal!"</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>3) Impossible offer</h3><br />Computer programmers would probably describe this as a logic error loop...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv3TceGnq4dsZqrgpb82ny3ij9XeLMIXQC3nxe--ri0aS0YacAtVxu6j3KtPo06UYkPzgNW-33jFdDjeJq-mic4sP0HpDgbS81E4ySkjA1iPdHwzH-1UKhZ9Sxa5Vwfuu0MCVESES19keWcbboUkV4SS0H75w0EmBxYM8_dN-QiYwdmqXOJx4DKQ_EYg/s843/Limit%201%20per%20customer%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="843" data-original-width="600" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv3TceGnq4dsZqrgpb82ny3ij9XeLMIXQC3nxe--ri0aS0YacAtVxu6j3KtPo06UYkPzgNW-33jFdDjeJq-mic4sP0HpDgbS81E4ySkjA1iPdHwzH-1UKhZ9Sxa5Vwfuu0MCVESES19keWcbboUkV4SS0H75w0EmBxYM8_dN-QiYwdmqXOJx4DKQ_EYg/w285-h400/Limit%201%20per%20customer%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" width="285" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 for $8.<br />(Limit 1 per customer!)<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Thankfully the widespread irrational fear of fresh air seems have died down now. In fact the demand for hand sanitiser has dropped so much that my local pound shop was actually giving hand sanitizer away a few weeks ago.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>4) Negative deaths</h3><br />All deaths are emotionally negative, but these deaths were also <i>statistically</i> negative, according to this Jimmy Krankie look-a-like politician.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZ_m3POz0UcpvZ65IP6diFoXPWrw-CFBVBsKk4lrTRpxMpYOGQGLRgroJa-F8nTBMbV3PS6WB7B9X0wsYReIgZFd1Z5xio8aCKWji0fNE6ln3eNF6Eh9Xa0GNE2CC8H8LLd7T1IHwmDbs_05K83TIsiIP6eWpwVYsbw2MN17twrsACAIR1HuGWyOcnQ/s500/Minus%20three%20deaths%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="374" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHZ_m3POz0UcpvZ65IP6diFoXPWrw-CFBVBsKk4lrTRpxMpYOGQGLRgroJa-F8nTBMbV3PS6WB7B9X0wsYReIgZFd1Z5xio8aCKWji0fNE6ln3eNF6Eh9Xa0GNE2CC8H8LLd7T1IHwmDbs_05K83TIsiIP6eWpwVYsbw2MN17twrsACAIR1HuGWyOcnQ/s16000/Minus%20three%20deaths%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"There has been 1 death in the past 24 hours. That's 4 more than yesterday."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Yesterday there were minus three deaths, apparently!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>5) Half Price Ham</h3><br />What a bargain! This ham was £2.65, but now it's half price! Only £2!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-Ezr1bjEXWs53SFMXyvffTXmcWVUudiy77DvPEQhTo9ZudcVv7zyUhgiQQv3xC5NN73VRdIYYwwUvlf4a7mS_YNX9zgOmX5BOKFs_jLpmj8q_jI2CnskzhxeSbCB1Noz2iWHJu4aMkOqpGEvsRBIPUj_ZCyJHBA8AYauCCtPFBnT7MfTxqSmoL3X3g/s600/Half%20price%20ham%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="510" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy-Ezr1bjEXWs53SFMXyvffTXmcWVUudiy77DvPEQhTo9ZudcVv7zyUhgiQQv3xC5NN73VRdIYYwwUvlf4a7mS_YNX9zgOmX5BOKFs_jLpmj8q_jI2CnskzhxeSbCB1Noz2iWHJu4aMkOqpGEvsRBIPUj_ZCyJHBA8AYauCCtPFBnT7MfTxqSmoL3X3g/s320/Half%20price%20ham%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math,%20Badly.jpg" width="272" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Save 65p!"</td></tr></tbody></table><br />By my calculations you actually save 24.5%, which is better than nothing, but far from being half price.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>6) Clueless presenter</h3><br />Finally, here's a famous example where an American TV presenter commentated on Michael Bloomberg's failed election bid, and did the math(s) very badly indeed.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfOwcKqJ4-CLm9HlU8fRexr1BdPaN47oMpoBbSvByMtm1-d153u5vlsMi6Jc4NmAPMfdCTBXF1FXNQSSxQYqj3FsaCeSYOTLlk68B6NVTRPcEAxwSlkIRn0s-aS4z3iQ6u0qYRDs10zjzDV9IyVjG7hs1VgirjLfxO27iyIJavCLJD4CagFUGVp9w8Zw/s500/One%20million%20dollars%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math%20Badly.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="229" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfOwcKqJ4-CLm9HlU8fRexr1BdPaN47oMpoBbSvByMtm1-d153u5vlsMi6Jc4NmAPMfdCTBXF1FXNQSSxQYqj3FsaCeSYOTLlk68B6NVTRPcEAxwSlkIRn0s-aS4z3iQ6u0qYRDs10zjzDV9IyVjG7hs1VgirjLfxO27iyIJavCLJD4CagFUGVp9w8Zw/s16000/One%20million%20dollars%20-%20They%20Did%20The%20Math%20Badly.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Top respect to Sky News Australia for mocking the inept presenter.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Bloomberg spent $500 million on ads. The U.S. population is 327 million. He could have given each American $1 million and still have money left over. I feel like a $1 million check would be life-changing for most people. Yet he wasted it all on ads and still lost."</i><br /><br />For the benefit of Mekita Rives, 500 million dollars divided by 327 million people is actually only $1.53 each. Not <i>quite</i> as life changing a figure as a million dollars.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://smarturl.it/CashierShortStory" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wQ5IzYDCTxg/WTJ7HQbeyMI/AAAAAAAAI5M/XJ-p6Rp-BjkAHN0GOl17U8tsYZILocJeQCLcB/s1600/Cashier%2B468x60%2Bad%2B4000.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />If you'd like to put your skills to the test and see if you can 'do the math' correctly, then check out the following blog post:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/03/they-did-the-math.html" target="_blank">They did the math(s)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-72509748884991330942024-01-13T09:01:00.006+00:002024-01-13T09:01:00.163+00:00Breaking news...We interrupt this blog to bring you the latest news <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/01/weird-headlines-part-2.html" target="_blank">headlines</a>. Please note, all but one of the following news stories are actually fictitious fabrications created purely for the purposes of daft amusement.<br /><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoCE0g_OFUHrZPn_Drd5dJSl4WKdfXbzfdNu4FyJMjoMSxRd7xMqXNEhuIB44mof_DAmdXHdwax69fV_C-z2TA5IwXWSFNpFX7helthOWbjIKb1qiE-qtlGIpGA75-RJixHgUbVaHbdbbZmJ5SPK6fO5x3XLpDjelIxG3XqKbqVmWLTVGdSBlpv6u88XkP/s700/Police%20working%20tirelessly%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="465" data-original-width="700" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoCE0g_OFUHrZPn_Drd5dJSl4WKdfXbzfdNu4FyJMjoMSxRd7xMqXNEhuIB44mof_DAmdXHdwax69fV_C-z2TA5IwXWSFNpFX7helthOWbjIKb1qiE-qtlGIpGA75-RJixHgUbVaHbdbbZmJ5SPK6fO5x3XLpDjelIxG3XqKbqVmWLTVGdSBlpv6u88XkP/s320/Police%20working%20tirelessly%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The police working tirelessly.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
1) The police are looking for a man who has been stealing the wheels off police cars.<br /><br />A police statement read, "We are working tirelessly to catch him."<br /><br /><br /><br />
2) A <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-fire-hoop-win-or-fail.html" target="_blank">fire</a> broke out at a local yodeling school.<br /><br />Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.<br />
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3) A new crash proof aeroplane has been developed made from rubber
polymers, so it will just bounce.<br /><br /> The craft was invented by Boeing,
Boeing, Boeing.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />4) Airport police are concerned at the number of passengers smuggling helium ballooons in their luggage.<br /><br />Cases continue to rise.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAJZrNdd0SsB4xL35fyUs-mWKSWRit873ZR4w8up72YoBYTDNsiiwf39CSeH3QvdIdFRUu4MmNbCmBRh4vLG86N9mGZcCbmrpL5YOImnMuyRavbW7WHFsAaJJ7XimVLM5HtFKoGgfTZ1SgojHKmqATwm3HYbhT_jeFO-15Serdd3c05zXtKY7BYPxp2ty/s700/Kindle%20with%20leaves%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="700" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrAJZrNdd0SsB4xL35fyUs-mWKSWRit873ZR4w8up72YoBYTDNsiiwf39CSeH3QvdIdFRUu4MmNbCmBRh4vLG86N9mGZcCbmrpL5YOImnMuyRavbW7WHFsAaJJ7XimVLM5HtFKoGgfTZ1SgojHKmqATwm3HYbhT_jeFO-15Serdd3c05zXtKY7BYPxp2ty/s320/Kindle%20with%20leaves%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A kindle, pictured with some leaves.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit:</i> <a href="http://twitter.com/dadjokeman/" target="_blank">@DadJokeMan</a></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />5) Elton John's e-reader device has been blown away by Storm Eunice.<br /><br />Like a kindle in the wind.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
6) The inventor of the wind chill factor died yesterday.<br /><br />He was aged 85, but he felt like he was 70.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
7) Cadburys have just delivered a giant <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/03/life-is-like-box-of-chocolates.html" target="_blank">chocolate</a> bar to the Bank Of England.<br /><br />It's a massive Boost for the economy.<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqkH56AVqNmSYdUuQJtlG-NlKIbHRm_YI47rv3rQOghq_nQyjMkEDEIycQmqJ-aBUdt65heJigNSSuoO2JoiPmR-R5OwDhzthhzRVsDMwITomE5aX2xs2VOzT4ynz9EzvsTUkdboHPenLi0NKoeIhg6zMVzu8PwcEwUNir2GyIs9_ZDwxVmQrLe1x5Rg5/s700/Airport%20carousel%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="412" data-original-width="700" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqkH56AVqNmSYdUuQJtlG-NlKIbHRm_YI47rv3rQOghq_nQyjMkEDEIycQmqJ-aBUdt65heJigNSSuoO2JoiPmR-R5OwDhzthhzRVsDMwITomE5aX2xs2VOzT4ynz9EzvsTUkdboHPenLi0NKoeIhg6zMVzu8PwcEwUNir2GyIs9_ZDwxVmQrLe1x5Rg5/s320/Airport%20carousel%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An airport carousel, pictured without the<br />collapsed man in order to respect his privacy.<br /><br />And also, because he's not real. It's just a made-up story.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br /><br />
8) A man has collapsed onto the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport.<br /><br />A spokesman said, "It's okay. He's slowly coming around."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />9) New clinical trials show that puberty blockers can have serious long term effects on children, such as blocking puberty.<br /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: </i><a href="https://twitter.com/ThatmattersNews" target="_blank">@ThatMattersNews</a></span><a href="https://twitter.com/ThatmattersNews" target="_blank"><br /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />10) Finally, if you want a regular dose of silly made-up news, then I recommend following <a href="https://twitter.com/fakeshowbiznews" target="_blank">Fake Showbiz News</a> on twitter. Here's one of their recent stories:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgelPqJnPu2raFa3YmgwqQEv8w2ckCN50sc_phpXel-OVwAXVGloMUAdIKYLQYQiP12SQMeJey2kHO4axuBuAJ9krYeKNXhB0GrsAYNJGiOXlKFFvyKJCtuotN9aVSqCMyUXMmtA2qaVCgwVRKoY2WfMj139UrfrFU5SPSnmMZo-XiiniyEoh9A8i1SQRJk/s520/Jordan%20Henderson%20on%20Fake%20Showbiz%20News%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="520" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgelPqJnPu2raFa3YmgwqQEv8w2ckCN50sc_phpXel-OVwAXVGloMUAdIKYLQYQiP12SQMeJey2kHO4axuBuAJ9krYeKNXhB0GrsAYNJGiOXlKFFvyKJCtuotN9aVSqCMyUXMmtA2qaVCgwVRKoY2WfMj139UrfrFU5SPSnmMZo-XiiniyEoh9A8i1SQRJk/s16000/Jordan%20Henderson%20on%20Fake%20Showbiz%20News%20-%20Breaking%20News.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another silly fake news story from Fake Showbiz News.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Jordan Henderson says he can't believe he used to think shoplifters should be allowed to retain their hands!"</i><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07261RKKS" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-x20sKxvvx2E/WTJ7IUJBe0I/AAAAAAAAI5k/rx4rNhO_6qc2Wv4z7mibqiYRnbQZ-5nOQCLcB/s1600/Parcel%2B468x60%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find real* news headlines in the blog posts below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/09/weird-headlines.html" target="_blank">Weird headlines (part 1)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/01/weird-headlines-part-2.html" target="_blank">Weird headlines (part 2)</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* The headlines are real, i.e. they exist, but I can't vouch for whether or not they're accurate.</i></span>Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-85219842996673310142024-01-06T09:01:00.004+00:002024-01-06T09:01:00.152+00:00Funny things parents say (part 2)<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/06/funny-things-kids-say-part-10.html" target="_blank">Kids say the funniest things</a>, but so sometimes do <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/09/funny-things-parents-say.html" target="_blank">parents</a>. Usually when they're decribing funny things their kids did. This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog highlights a few such examples.<br /><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDjUEvRFtk7brdqpUJzVTlQE6oJ2vKresMEmN_JqHLqFiNtm-dfVMvD0lFJ99LPaRJAkJmQfQC7NosGkMJXsbqItMTqGgVCuIDrFhZQvevzrDX-uTc1RIdCt86dRpVMXQ1DhyphenhyphenyDSKlXd63iS1IIIT1IOBxMxFoHdzRjCGcathdQYb1zzRgOnxyjc5IGeM/s700/Child's%20drawing%20of%20a%20parent%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="700" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBDjUEvRFtk7brdqpUJzVTlQE6oJ2vKresMEmN_JqHLqFiNtm-dfVMvD0lFJ99LPaRJAkJmQfQC7NosGkMJXsbqItMTqGgVCuIDrFhZQvevzrDX-uTc1RIdCt86dRpVMXQ1DhyphenhyphenyDSKlXd63iS1IIIT1IOBxMxFoHdzRjCGcathdQYb1zzRgOnxyjc5IGeM/s320/Child's%20drawing%20of%20a%20parent%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A perfect likeness!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
1) "If you ever find yourself feeling over-confident, ask your kid to draw a picture of you."<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><br /><i><span>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/thedad/">@TheDad</a></span></i><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><br />2) "I love getting the opportunity to teach my children life lessons in real-time like you don't overhand throw a ball to someone when you're 6 inches from their face."<br /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/TheMomHack/">@TheMomHack</a></i></span><br />
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<br /><br /><br />3) "My daughter once summarized a 10 minute story in 4 hours."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/mommajessiec/status/1408061001216319495">@MommaJessieC</a></i></span><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIYfUnAFocX50fFRgfMvDn7rP6EVZRM3f7xmWZ0FXPWu46Pu9tgy7ibZpNUiZmIJYP7Nh5XUZzh18TJ9X7KBsgdc48XHEFL5gVN5hw1AyJTZyq4oo1qGUs0YDG1qFF_OmyzJ-9ZMNRScxxKoywJzzgDL_4K3o23k2z9Hpj3xGaBJiS-Xw7LaP3RLo96u9/s700/Play-Doh%20and%20butter%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="295" data-original-width="700" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIYfUnAFocX50fFRgfMvDn7rP6EVZRM3f7xmWZ0FXPWu46Pu9tgy7ibZpNUiZmIJYP7Nh5XUZzh18TJ9X7KBsgdc48XHEFL5gVN5hw1AyJTZyq4oo1qGUs0YDG1qFF_OmyzJ-9ZMNRScxxKoywJzzgDL_4K3o23k2z9Hpj3xGaBJiS-Xw7LaP3RLo96u9/s320/Play-Doh%20and%20butter%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Play-Doh and butter.<br />Interchangeable items to one creative kid.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />4) Here's some wise advice that one parent was forced to give to their kid:<br /><br />"Butter is not Play-Doh."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/kidversations_/status/1513161638471512064" target="_blank">@kidversations</a></i></span><br /><br /><br />
<br /><br />5) "I caught my 9 year old helping my 5 year old with her <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/03/they-did-the-math.html" target="_blank">math</a> homework.<br /><br />When they noticed I was watching, they started fighting.<br /><br />Have to keep up appearances."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/XplodingUnicorn/status/1437522844410318848">@XplodingUnicorn</a></i></span><br /><br />When I read this, I couldn't help thinking, "What sort of evil teacher gives a five year old homework!?"<br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dBxW4bLBcfFvJ5pZJEhpM-GgsIS2MYFDGzD5fzPOhpmaTpAMl2UoIBVdOwd2u4SaExKM8Vquduv-JfPsqd1RffGrLmVvWjMDtL1ViQ_FKCmtubAfglmA2m6NqWc8EJE_Y7EOU5IidVCPhBML0TYYw3byeuG_c4NDWmu5nvIA-ta8aFktWFH7AVtxTQwn/s700/Stick%20man%20cleaning%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="503" data-original-width="700" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5dBxW4bLBcfFvJ5pZJEhpM-GgsIS2MYFDGzD5fzPOhpmaTpAMl2UoIBVdOwd2u4SaExKM8Vquduv-JfPsqd1RffGrLmVvWjMDtL1ViQ_FKCmtubAfglmA2m6NqWc8EJE_Y7EOU5IidVCPhBML0TYYw3byeuG_c4NDWmu5nvIA-ta8aFktWFH7AVtxTQwn/s320/Stick%20man%20cleaning%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Step 5.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />6) "The five stages of asking a child to do something.<br /><br />1. Completely oblivious to question for first 10 minutes.<br />2. States that they just have to do something else three times.<br />3. Starts doing task day dreaming then forgets halfway through.<br />4. Does task badly whilst mucking about.<br />5. Parent does said task."<br /><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/ericamorecambe/status/1461631141799211010">@EricaMorecambe</a></i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />7) "Do kids get some sort of bonus if they say like 4,258,137 words in a day?"<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/jdstalnaked/">@jdstalnaked</a></i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />8) "I hope my 4 year old appreciates the amount of effort I've put in to ensure I lose to him at Guess Who."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/kevinthedad/">@KevinTheDad</a></i></span><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH47S1_fCcYEovk48LJBLeWqtkU5LAntwfQBA6gnFE4JZbtOEa8cbIQ0_-ORVSO6M-bOgaVcIJMgPSsrEuuBpjq4kMmGqn61rFutLBxC4ZEFhjpfEGH0Cl2As74p9osLKgGGJIATA7x_n19ZPxlb9B5_T-c4OXwrZHKwtQHgIDDSA00UD81XMhR1II8D4K/s700/Lego%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="379" data-original-width="700" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH47S1_fCcYEovk48LJBLeWqtkU5LAntwfQBA6gnFE4JZbtOEa8cbIQ0_-ORVSO6M-bOgaVcIJMgPSsrEuuBpjq4kMmGqn61rFutLBxC4ZEFhjpfEGH0Cl2As74p9osLKgGGJIATA7x_n19ZPxlb9B5_T-c4OXwrZHKwtQHgIDDSA00UD81XMhR1II8D4K/s320/Lego%20-%20Funny%20Things%20Parents%20Say.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lego, pictured yesterday.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />
9) "Why is there a Lego tower in the fridge?" <br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://playtivities.com/40-crazy-things-parents-say/">Playtivities</a></i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />10) Finally, here's a nugget of parent wisdom which is sadly becoming more and more accurate every year:<br /><br />"No-one ever warned me that the hardest part of motherhood would be protecting my kids from the government."<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/Suvthesequel" target="_blank">@SuvThe Sequel</a></i></span><br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B8V4R8Y" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--4BDWZxr3d0/WtEddkT0nDI/AAAAAAAAJlI/3iLruPvkQTIW34DKzfa-IMINhKpcIExBACLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BAndroid%2B-%2B468x60%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />Related posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/09/funny-things-parents-say.html" target="_blank">Funny things parents say (part 1)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/09/funny-things-kids-say-part-11.html" target="_blank">Funny things kids say (part 11)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-58328773183913099352023-12-30T09:01:00.001+00:002023-12-30T09:01:00.135+00:00Alternate universeWhen you consider some of the things that have gone on in the world over the last few years, you could argue that we're already living in an alternate universe!<br /><br />Anyway, this week's blog post features a round-up of 'alternate universe' themed photos and observations.<br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">1) Chips and soda flavour soap<br /></h3><br />To start things off, here are a couple of unusual items found in an alternate universe bathroom.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy3IRd2EJ8-C9k6EfO86LOZwAbmijowCInPhxtRhPvh0e7iBsA-pv2acHlOgFx9Sw9XNMt7z1lCHHJxn5I_9htYQP6MKwD7NNNjz3HKXx4jOWhDjPvMjS0cEgjR9RJ17cbVJTn6vN4l8g5nS7K-_osf6CRqkMsmg18Tf6wgLHu9RNg__YxNtbkbqJZ0s2J/s500/Mountain%20Dew%20bodywash%20and%20Doritos%20face%20wash%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="494" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy3IRd2EJ8-C9k6EfO86LOZwAbmijowCInPhxtRhPvh0e7iBsA-pv2acHlOgFx9Sw9XNMt7z1lCHHJxn5I_9htYQP6MKwD7NNNjz3HKXx4jOWhDjPvMjS0cEgjR9RJ17cbVJTn6vN4l8g5nS7K-_osf6CRqkMsmg18Tf6wgLHu9RNg__YxNtbkbqJZ0s2J/s16000/Mountain%20Dew%20bodywash%20and%20Doritos%20face%20wash%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mountain Dew bodywash and Doritos face wash.<br />Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/Q0bfDDP.jpeg" target="_blank">imgur</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Although I can understand the novelty appeal, why would you want your face to smell like nacho cheese doritos?<br />
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<br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">2) Spider switch</h3><br />Why did the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test?<br /><br />He was an excellent parallel Parker.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">3) Confused condiments</h3><br />Hellman's ketchup and Heinz mayonnaise? What madness is this!?<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHVoTlEaOgA4yFIjbNC593ggTe7yjmQhHfQb-vOOqfe6DagRULC7D-ghJCMl8SU_tHZVyH3dc_MIT0fp46qdxEj2W9ruoOEQa9dYyDyM8bMpBq-CDmgPbYgbChLb62RLDGHTqEp-UXY_HVO2QSZpmbhyOPY7DBPNUE-sg3Vm9wX8NgCd6-v_axUNE4hT7/s700/Hellmann's%20ketchup%20and%20Heinz%20mayonnaise%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="700" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpHVoTlEaOgA4yFIjbNC593ggTe7yjmQhHfQb-vOOqfe6DagRULC7D-ghJCMl8SU_tHZVyH3dc_MIT0fp46qdxEj2W9ruoOEQa9dYyDyM8bMpBq-CDmgPbYgbChLb62RLDGHTqEp-UXY_HVO2QSZpmbhyOPY7DBPNUE-sg3Vm9wX8NgCd6-v_axUNE4hT7/w400-h271/Hellmann's%20ketchup%20and%20Heinz%20mayonnaise%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Real ketchup. Sweetened only with honey."<br />Credit: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2FESkaQU9FPQ6dmXiruvVWJ-__vOJO9keEo_lDtV1eNTY.jpg%3Fs%3D1226f566dce2a6442703cf7d082075781a3c5f11" target="_blank">reddit</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />I do actually love honey, but I'm not sure how well it would go with ketchup.<br /><br />And I can't help wondering, why do they both feel the need to state 'real' on the label? 'Real' ketchup and 'real' mayonnaise. Are there some companies out there selling fake ketchup and fake mayonnaise?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhmn9ORKwYg8yXvfXskVl_lbymfh_rNmYMSqPW-28FE8Wy1-gChZfFhlcnxHRI3yNuNhnsV26zrdjlmq_Mcl9WLVJdpBOvCurtNqI2Sm_QiOnIWn4aR7yZVBZmwxFUupqchAy27-SSD4K9NaRphUwmnx-rfC8B6nmME9ymqmJsSkagLWok7moBrGSRBQFF/s700/Rich%20man%20driving%20car%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="330" data-original-width="700" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhmn9ORKwYg8yXvfXskVl_lbymfh_rNmYMSqPW-28FE8Wy1-gChZfFhlcnxHRI3yNuNhnsV26zrdjlmq_Mcl9WLVJdpBOvCurtNqI2Sm_QiOnIWn4aR7yZVBZmwxFUupqchAy27-SSD4K9NaRphUwmnx-rfC8B6nmME9ymqmJsSkagLWok7moBrGSRBQFF/s320/Rich%20man%20driving%20car%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A rich man from the olden days driving a car.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3 style="text-align: left;">4) Alternate history</h3><br />100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.<br /><br />Today, everyone has a car, and only the rich have horses.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">5) Roles reversed</h3><br />Speaking as a man, I'm glad that I live in the current universe, and not the alternate universe pictured below... <br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjNPj0dvuzSnFX_omSVHo0hNCaQjAxDCbXGRsXgCdX4PvCobinNYtxZxHRoAYNdb4s0DqnzU-mKRiy4u7s9vYE8_Ff6kbfbPq43e2Y_m8S1bbZAt3bflHfdm9SYY4x9xdBu8TT6Bxuftd7MPA3gdiacUU2LySSdxx4GKNXcMmojVAtRjGtW-dPP6Mp1Woa/s700/Queue%20for%20men's%20toilet%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="402" data-original-width="700" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjNPj0dvuzSnFX_omSVHo0hNCaQjAxDCbXGRsXgCdX4PvCobinNYtxZxHRoAYNdb4s0DqnzU-mKRiy4u7s9vYE8_Ff6kbfbPq43e2Y_m8S1bbZAt3bflHfdm9SYY4x9xdBu8TT6Bxuftd7MPA3gdiacUU2LySSdxx4GKNXcMmojVAtRjGtW-dPP6Mp1Woa/w400-h230/Queue%20for%20men's%20toilet%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://funsubstance.com/fun/184400/toilet-is-another-universe/" target="_blank">Fun Substance</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">6) Grapes vs. Jaffa cakes<br /></h3><br />Here's an alternate universe conversation I overheard in Aldi one day when I was shopping:<br /><br /><i>Young kid:</i> "Yes! Look, Dad! Grapes! Dad, can we get some grapes?"<br /><i>Dad (grumpy voice):</i>
"No, I haven't got £2 to waste on grapes. There's some Jaffa cakes in
the house. You can have some of them when we get home."<br /><br />You would
think it would be the other way around, with the kid wanting the sugary junk
food and the parent trying to persuade their child to eat healthy food instead.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3>7) Alternate pizza</h3><br />Finally, here's a controversial question from an alternate universe:<br /><i><br />"Is pizza an acceptable pineapple topping?"</i><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKxv8uEHV5WmrnBi6uy8vBchyphenhyphen8T0JkkpvaQ2uzDyrnZs1TCvjpyHuZ3skfI4NzHvuAz0tI5x77wKL9IwsE95H_XicQPTyhn4HBNHBafGAl-TvCKBCtTme5L97yZDuMrGFYW998UCrQM3F0eh7c-Li0sQcTviSfRbWqvLEFaL7qsrmpv2RgFE0-kSA4Wk1K/s500/Pizza%20on%20pineapple%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="478" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKxv8uEHV5WmrnBi6uy8vBchyphenhyphen8T0JkkpvaQ2uzDyrnZs1TCvjpyHuZ3skfI4NzHvuAz0tI5x77wKL9IwsE95H_XicQPTyhn4HBNHBafGAl-TvCKBCtTme5L97yZDuMrGFYW998UCrQM3F0eh7c-Li0sQcTviSfRbWqvLEFaL7qsrmpv2RgFE0-kSA4Wk1K/s16000/Pizza%20on%20pineapple%20-%20Alternate%20Universe.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/UrXKa9l.jpeg" target="_blank">imgur</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />This would be a cool novelty item to serve at a buffet, and I'm sure it would get a lot of curious people giving it a try. To make it even better, you could also add tiny tomatoes and tiny ham.<br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0888RJ35N" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NoXm2kesIgQ/XsVc4UJoZPI/AAAAAAAALcQ/iGeXdhqSv5U7HDNFdC7cgmTyJ-7LSOnzACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/We%2BCome%2BIn%2BPeace%2Band%2BOther%2BShort%2BStories.gif.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />Other weird blog posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/04/the-truth-is-stranger-than-fiction.html" target="_blank">The truth is stranger than fiction</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/02/10-weird-websites.html" target="_blank">10 weird websites</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-20400735948204845082023-12-23T09:01:00.001+00:002023-12-23T09:01:00.144+00:00Lazy or genius: Christmas edition!"We wish you a lazy <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/12/random-christmas-thoughts-part-2.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a>, we wish you a lazy <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/12/controversial-christmas-questions-part-2.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a>, we wish you a lazy <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/12/funny-things-kids-say-christmas-edition.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a>, and a lethargic <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2013/01/true-or-false-six-new-year-themed-facts.html" target="_blank">New Year</a>!"<br /><br />This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at people who were too lazy to put any real effort into their <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/12/charles-fudgemuffins-christmas-letter.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> decorations and celebrations. However, in some cases, they did at least come up with clever solutions to avoid doing any hard work.<br /><br />
<h3>1) Lazy Christmas tree (part 1)</h3><br />To start things off, this first contender gets double points for laziness. They were too lazy to do their washing, and they were also too lazy to set up a real <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/12/a-merry-christmas-message-for-nerds.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> tree. However, they showed impressive creativity in coming up with a simple combined solution to both.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVWBNmsxzT6FfwVSPkGDRt8aOpde_qQSKx-OzzYgmR9bH7HFBAMfLjuQ7XRYq1yrbLEN4_LXB0ah4HqPjw1biTlU72IVuqUWaXWZCDk13kfN87whMMj9zIT0ib2nrdryceSnD4dF0PDAqZgKSwhAwU0QbxiGjh_Zr9TUHlSHWFv8DSbRxCC2ubzoF_YpbL/s619/Pile%20of%20washing%20looks%20like%20a%20Christmas%20tree%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="619" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVWBNmsxzT6FfwVSPkGDRt8aOpde_qQSKx-OzzYgmR9bH7HFBAMfLjuQ7XRYq1yrbLEN4_LXB0ah4HqPjw1biTlU72IVuqUWaXWZCDk13kfN87whMMj9zIT0ib2nrdryceSnD4dF0PDAqZgKSwhAwU0QbxiGjh_Zr9TUHlSHWFv8DSbRxCC2ubzoF_YpbL/s16000/Pile%20of%20washing%20looks%20like%20a%20Christmas%20tree%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/1024645927578777/photos/a.1233953843314650/2112543828788976/" target="_blank">The Laundry Basket</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br />
Laundry Christmas!<br /><br />
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<h3>2) "Hear, hear!"</h3><br />Are you a glass half full person or a glass half empty kind of person?<br /><br />If your neighbours are the type to really pull out all the stops and put a lot of effort into their <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/12/controversial-christmas-questions.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> decorations, then on the one hand it could potentially make your decorations look low effort. However, it also provides an opportunity to save time by simply expressing your agreement.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0TZujj3Bh16J6nqngNC6jMTFLsDc1bw20CDZZqCQXKlw0rDLCCFet8Z4hxFnnn8G4iXbYQ05bmS42iwsxMyQlVhQXmp44XLh1tKfr74EB0lUiX9mwcYBvX3Mi6fZlaE5d5caGm1Rj0sSVgw9OBut9KpE_weuCaXwuY5C6wuQdfpjv4_cGl_gwQvTHnpsU/s500/Christmas%20decorations%20ditto%20-%20Lazy%20Christmas.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="318" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0TZujj3Bh16J6nqngNC6jMTFLsDc1bw20CDZZqCQXKlw0rDLCCFet8Z4hxFnnn8G4iXbYQ05bmS42iwsxMyQlVhQXmp44XLh1tKfr74EB0lUiX9mwcYBvX3Mi6fZlaE5d5caGm1Rj0sSVgw9OBut9KpE_weuCaXwuY5C6wuQdfpjv4_cGl_gwQvTHnpsU/s16000/Christmas%20decorations%20ditto%20-%20Lazy%20Christmas.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/iIK1FzR.jpeg" target="_blank">imgur</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br />"Ditto." The perfect Christmas message!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>3) Lazy Christmas tree (part 2)</h3><br />Here's another low effort <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/12/christmas-higher-or-lower-quiz-part-2.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> tree, but this time at least they took the time to put up an actual tree. However, they admittedly did cut a few corners when it came to the <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/12/10-christmas-jokes-part-4.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> tree decorations.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6XOgjucIg-o0W7K4Tv7kxas-MWFC0TmytS-4FzPbh6dEvLfGDI8eH_1Asvs8nZXeVlXaXFXKBMAkKcSvv56xxb49PPfXtm-Znkmy4F1OlcFDW2fg2O8-JngMzypQ869nMroD60Ebubm2VRP3vVGkUO4o025BxSILZ2fBOtm2smnzti1EqivAQ2IgNlAdy/s605/404%20decorations%20not%20found%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="605" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6XOgjucIg-o0W7K4Tv7kxas-MWFC0TmytS-4FzPbh6dEvLfGDI8eH_1Asvs8nZXeVlXaXFXKBMAkKcSvv56xxb49PPfXtm-Znkmy4F1OlcFDW2fg2O8-JngMzypQ869nMroD60Ebubm2VRP3vVGkUO4o025BxSILZ2fBOtm2smnzti1EqivAQ2IgNlAdy/s16000/404%20decorations%20not%20found%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.redd.it/szd4blbs6d561.jpg" target="_blank">reddit</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />I suspect this <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/12/christmas-statistics.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> tree may have been located in a programmer's office, or an IT department.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3>
4) "Happy birthday, Jesus!"</h3><br />If you have a birthday just before <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/12/a-christmas-message-for-any-politically.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a>, then you can
save time on taking down your birthday decorations, and also save time
on putting up the <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/12/10-christmas-jokes-part-3.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> decorations, with the following seasonal addition to your wall.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUW7SrEvLfkfm8kl_z-Nq7MSD87HOCVFXLXrGu0vto5TgjhIf0QYNIrs5--POWb-mi6944Tdn0gdgF_YSgHfEfE8IPyRtfWAiTXuWSxCyB5n4mQPJHgMg2MCF493BSWnXmrtNR32d_i83zm72Md4HL-QeDfUHQQ1N-WendRcuSPfJjKca-OtYqANVS9Y4Q/s500/Happy%20birthday%20Jesus%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="291" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUW7SrEvLfkfm8kl_z-Nq7MSD87HOCVFXLXrGu0vto5TgjhIf0QYNIrs5--POWb-mi6944Tdn0gdgF_YSgHfEfE8IPyRtfWAiTXuWSxCyB5n4mQPJHgMg2MCF493BSWnXmrtNR32d_i83zm72Md4HL-QeDfUHQQ1N-WendRcuSPfJjKca-OtYqANVS9Y4Q/s16000/Happy%20birthday%20Jesus%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/wPVVh.png" target="_blank">imgur</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />"Happy birthday, Jesus." The true meaning of Christmas.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>5) Lazy Christmas tree (part 3)</h3><br />This next example surely has to be the laziest <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/12/random-christmas-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> tree of them all, although I suppose at least it smells nice. I wonder, did it come with assembly intructions for how to put it up?<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVXNuXs0AJAFEwAm5H90euV98EfThJQLK7Auiod5Ka07D33TFfB0d8tvnPoTq8SCDOcUEma2o2F_fp1suN3pUdpMCOcduNZLEk7PY0ZqeN0xkCKMk1lq_GRyTNKOy65um7t7VA3oKLoZ-qErLTf_sk4zZfqDAoA8re-KtcYf92nM2Qeyb9r-WBaoMHEh6x/s500/Air%20freshener%20used%20as%20Christmas%20tree%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="471" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVXNuXs0AJAFEwAm5H90euV98EfThJQLK7Auiod5Ka07D33TFfB0d8tvnPoTq8SCDOcUEma2o2F_fp1suN3pUdpMCOcduNZLEk7PY0ZqeN0xkCKMk1lq_GRyTNKOy65um7t7VA3oKLoZ-qErLTf_sk4zZfqDAoA8re-KtcYf92nM2Qeyb9r-WBaoMHEh6x/s16000/Air%20freshener%20used%20as%20Christmas%20tree%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://i.imgur.com/GbQc6.jpeg" target="_blank">imgur</a><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />"Oh, air freshener. Oh, air freshener. How lovely are your stenches."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>6) Lazy Santa?</h3><br />Finally, the top 'lazy or genius' award must surely go to <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2015/12/how-does-santa-spend-his-free-time.html" target="_blank">Santa</a>. After all, he's got a job where he only works one night per year! That's lazy <i>and</i> genius!<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOzf28i6tiuZBPD-ydisemmt0wq4bBVkl132TARyP1-wOwBDJOfcSz6AkBFElZ8K55NaMN1EABEJQCe3Z0YqHGiBJz_xdaI7PbkS1nkToqJUdFU_I1SmmEbb1SNhO0K0wxXmaqeB_ZyHSTFhqZAqLIZCO86pzAZrXQL_lUD6vOomcvn6XHzm-gqEPZyhrN/s500/Lazy%20Santa%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOzf28i6tiuZBPD-ydisemmt0wq4bBVkl132TARyP1-wOwBDJOfcSz6AkBFElZ8K55NaMN1EABEJQCe3Z0YqHGiBJz_xdaI7PbkS1nkToqJUdFU_I1SmmEbb1SNhO0K0wxXmaqeB_ZyHSTFhqZAqLIZCO86pzAZrXQL_lUD6vOomcvn6XHzm-gqEPZyhrN/s16000/Lazy%20Santa%20-%20Lazy%20Or%20Genius%20Christmas%20Edition.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lazy Santa takes a well deserved nap.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />"Wake me up on December 24th."<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018BKJQO6" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QEIDdNGbdfE/Xwd4gHCxw1I/AAAAAAAALmU/lTM8xitaOvksh9Ldws9sVx8UQ-ywebneQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Santa%2BAnd%2BThe%2BNaughty%2BElf%2B-%2BAdvert%2B468.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more Christmas themed articles by searching my blog under the 'Santa' and 'Christmas' tags. Alternatively, if you're too lazy to search, just click the links below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/12/funny-things-kids-say-christmas-edition.html" target="_blank">Funny things kids say (Christmas edition)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/12/controversial-christmas-questions.html" target="_blank">Controversial Christmas questions</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-32640346188777867112023-12-16T09:01:00.006+00:002023-12-16T09:01:00.237+00:0010 Christmas jokes (part 5)<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/12/funny-things-kids-say-christmas-edition.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> will soon be here again, so Merry Christmas to all my readers!<br /><br />Sticking with the festive mood, here's another batch of <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/12/10-christmas-jokes-part-4.html" target="_blank">Christmas themed jokes</a>...<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgHEeXYpeAl-1rKXeSV54kGI8arAPcWbqhr3atCtb9NGF_dtSSdAILrUV_hD6IcHtlJxP6sGKhYzj3HNJboZ_Olyy1V1UfIqG5odkJOmqkNlzT4wcUKaPRapxTNNUUgIJH293Urhb0mMbepV6UWV4Tcc3PF0wDvlq00MtuiPOd9LIZVjDGmBo_93Uvy7g=s700" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="700" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgHEeXYpeAl-1rKXeSV54kGI8arAPcWbqhr3atCtb9NGF_dtSSdAILrUV_hD6IcHtlJxP6sGKhYzj3HNJboZ_Olyy1V1UfIqG5odkJOmqkNlzT4wcUKaPRapxTNNUUgIJH293Urhb0mMbepV6UWV4Tcc3PF0wDvlq00MtuiPOd9LIZVjDGmBo_93Uvy7g=s320" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Merry Christmas!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>1) What did the peanut butter say to the grape at <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/12/controversial-christmas-questions.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a>?<br />"'Tis the season to be jelly!"<br /><br /><br /><br />2) Why don't <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/02/10-chinese-code-words-to-avoid.html" target="_blank">Chinese</a> kids believe in <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2015/12/how-does-santa-spend-his-free-time.html" target="_blank">Santa Claus</a>?<br />Because they make the toys.<br /><br /><br /><br />3) What's yellow, sweet and swings through the jungle at <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/12/christmas-higher-or-lower-quiz-part-2.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a>?<br />Tarzipan.<br />
<br />
<span><a name='more'></a></span>
<br /><br />4) "As one door closes, another one opens…"<br /><br />That's why I’ve already eaten all the <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/03/life-is-like-box-of-chocolates.html" target="_blank">chocolate</a> in my advent calendar.<br /><br /><br /><br />5) What’s the difference between Rudolf the reindeer and a knight?<br />
One's slaying a dragon, the other's dragging a sleigh.<br />
<br /><br /><br />6) Can anyone tell me when <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2018/12/christmas-statistics.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> is?<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhhDFQWA90jGfpw8gG56ok8ftepfLMx1mddFo7al_7DJhz3Esg5dBDc0snGcU4oaL8Iw1rdooTQvm1ZA1S5fq9doTLU8bO7qIgfcwSIzlbRK568h17C7yBG7cqd8tzGoLkZRdukkyU_QsOZGATteETd-tvzIaTJEA57IB0R6a5uu_2XZNRbwaWWeaX2hg=s700" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="545" data-original-width="700" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhhDFQWA90jGfpw8gG56ok8ftepfLMx1mddFo7al_7DJhz3Esg5dBDc0snGcU4oaL8Iw1rdooTQvm1ZA1S5fq9doTLU8bO7qIgfcwSIzlbRK568h17C7yBG7cqd8tzGoLkZRdukkyU_QsOZGATteETd-tvzIaTJEA57IB0R6a5uu_2XZNRbwaWWeaX2hg=w400-h311" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's in December.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />7) I asked my sister why this morning she was dressed as Lara Croft and now this afternoon she's dressed as Maleficant.<br /><br />"'Tis the season to be Jolie," she replied.<br /><br /><br /><br />8) <i>Car owner: </i>"My car is making a horrible noise."<br /><i>Mechanic:</i> "Have you tried removing the Mariah Carey <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/12/random-christmas-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> CD?"<br /><br /><br /><br />9) If you're struggling for what to get someone for a <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/12/charles-fudgemuffins-christmas-letter.html" target="_blank">Christmas</a> gift,
get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.<br /><br /><br /><br />10) Finally, here's a <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/12/a-merry-christmas-message-for-nerds.html" target="_blank">Christmas message</a> for any Spanish readers...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgcpN9mFIqmlyKxw0TieWqsyNgh_5hBiMrYzBnjZW8nS2WlOr_haPHGtkaPTj8-A31CDQE7b2NTBX06vpe6Hk4eSq701aLX2z3BPiBgWfFzOeCGxxMPfdILL0iqKnIEGLV0-AlHllmmS6ohk6nyl0o2r8Nuy6CEy079vxFXA0cyFLwcBi2WOwkYgUPtNg=s700" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="514" data-original-width="700" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgcpN9mFIqmlyKxw0TieWqsyNgh_5hBiMrYzBnjZW8nS2WlOr_haPHGtkaPTj8-A31CDQE7b2NTBX06vpe6Hk4eSq701aLX2z3BPiBgWfFzOeCGxxMPfdILL0iqKnIEGLV0-AlHllmmS6ohk6nyl0o2r8Nuy6CEy079vxFXA0cyFLwcBi2WOwkYgUPtNg=w400-h294" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feliz Navidad<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />Multi-lingual readers will know that 'For Lease Navidad' in the above photo was an amusing pun on the phrase 'Feliz Navidad' which is Spanish for 'Merry Christmas!' If you'd like to become multi-lingual at saying Merry Christmas in many other languages, then check out the following blog post:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/12/how-to-say-merry-christmas-in-other.html" target="_blank">How to say Merry Christmas in other languages</a><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://smarturl.it/NaughtyElf" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QEIDdNGbdfE/Xwd4gHCxw1I/AAAAAAAALmU/lTM8xitaOvksh9Ldws9sVx8UQ-ywebneQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Santa%2BAnd%2BThe%2BNaughty%2BElf%2B-%2BAdvert%2B468.gif" /></a></div>
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You can find more Christmas themed jokes below:<br /><a href="http://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2017/12/10-christmas-jokes-part-3.html" target="_blank">10 Christmas jokes (part 3)</a><br /><a href="http://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/12/10-christmas-jokes-part-4.html" target="_blank">10 Christmas jokes (part 4)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-65361535128834241602023-12-09T09:01:00.005+00:002023-12-21T17:00:24.674+00:00Silly tautologies (part 5)Tautologies are just a fancy way of repeating the same thing twice. Which makes them quite a suitable subject for the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, because I often like the repeat the same theme twice (or even five times in some cases) in my blog posts.<br /><br />This week is no exception, as I feature another round-up of <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/07/silly-tautologies-part-4.html" target="_blank">silly tautologies</a>.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsykcfoufppjyLSgQqQucUDm8GdT4rK8kL9E3FSN-O0H9ajnwrYTH-MbDV-yON3irIoANayM_G6ZJKpcGOC2i6_Lemqz-R2TKvfULnKbZ4B7GdiuzRVoQjsezT9G8mgZt6hHePxVp1fe_hdRMLDK7Y6PpOtE4aBJUjfdusfr8FYpDxzXzfqX6jiPYSj710/s700/Man%20pulling%20silly%20face%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="410" data-original-width="700" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsykcfoufppjyLSgQqQucUDm8GdT4rK8kL9E3FSN-O0H9ajnwrYTH-MbDV-yON3irIoANayM_G6ZJKpcGOC2i6_Lemqz-R2TKvfULnKbZ4B7GdiuzRVoQjsezT9G8mgZt6hHePxVp1fe_hdRMLDK7Y6PpOtE4aBJUjfdusfr8FYpDxzXzfqX6jiPYSj710/s320/Man%20pulling%20silly%20face%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Unfortunately, I didn't have any photos of a stupid idiot,<br />so I had to use this photo of a highly intelligent man instead.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3>
1) Stupid idiot</h3>
<br />
This is a tautology that me and my friends used quite a lot when we were
young. We would often call each other stupid <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/02/the-idiot-awards-part-4.html" target="_blank">idiots</a> as an insult among
friends.<br /><br />However, it's another obvious tautology. It's safe to say, you
don't get many intelligent idiots. Nor do you get many stupid geniuses. I
think the fact that an idiot is stupid goes without saying.<br />
<br />
So on reflection, what a bunch of stupid idiots we were to call each other stupid idiots!<br />
<br />
<span><a name='more'></a><br /></span><span><br /><br /><br /></span><h3 style="text-align: left;">2) The Los Angeles Angels</h3><br />The
Los Angeles Angels are a baseball team based in Los Angeles. However,
'Los Angeles' is Spanish for 'the angels', so the Los Angeles Angels are
actually 'the the angels angels'. A double tautlology! Two for the
price of one!<br /><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUlHutc2FBfahlRQRUmfmLzS2baNpcJz-u2k5ZNW4O6cEeAkbomavtS2Nc_Jcm3nc0x2-jgV4zxv-9A9ZkMnhAV6I1YsZvMgNyOm5JsQ9JKah28-vLfB0EH1k7OXfKYOSR7dIDl_MctvsPEGWBu5IIK-87CZ3M0Lu9Uwc7TbwtUQleUPHij4rdHQenivSJ/s700/Mouse%20boxer%20beating%20up%20frog%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="700" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUlHutc2FBfahlRQRUmfmLzS2baNpcJz-u2k5ZNW4O6cEeAkbomavtS2Nc_Jcm3nc0x2-jgV4zxv-9A9ZkMnhAV6I1YsZvMgNyOm5JsQ9JKah28-vLfB0EH1k7OXfKYOSR7dIDl_MctvsPEGWBu5IIK-87CZ3M0Lu9Uwc7TbwtUQleUPHij4rdHQenivSJ/s320/Mouse%20boxer%20beating%20up%20frog%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Float like a butterfly, sting like a mouse."<br />Another famous boxing quote.<br /><br /><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, it's actually 'sting like a <i>bee,</i>' not a mouse."<br /><i>Charles:</i> "Yes, I know, but I haven't got a photo of a<br />boxing bee, so hopefully the readers won't notice."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">3) Undisputed</h3><br />"I'm undisputed and there's no disputing that."<br /><i>...Lennox Lewis</i><br /><br />Based on the above quote, I think it's safe to assume that Lennox Lewis is apparently a big fan of tautologies.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">4) Please R.S.V.P.</h3><br />R.S.V.P. stands for 'répondez s'il vous plait' which means 'respond please'.<br /><br />So when you write, 'Please R.S.V.P.', you are actually saying, 'Please respond please', and thus repeating yourself.<br /><br />However,
there's no harm in being ultra polite, so in this case I would say that
this is one tautology where the repetition is acceptable.<br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjikjDQN9CxJ40CerAMtnBaOK_jWiseiVE8fb1yqyye1bRzLVUi-VUpp22uP_dM1dALD8AyPVqVX01w_ZJRABKcE5YU1KOGQin7gRFe0H_6MNCvFVPKbaBAgWUMbN-bYs9zgnvhJWZdgdYsg_LyZe4xu-mh-N5na7mgJlJmG5yfsZe53KHF1G6Dq5C7zSD/s700/Garlic%20naan%20bread%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="341" data-original-width="700" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjikjDQN9CxJ40CerAMtnBaOK_jWiseiVE8fb1yqyye1bRzLVUi-VUpp22uP_dM1dALD8AyPVqVX01w_ZJRABKcE5YU1KOGQin7gRFe0H_6MNCvFVPKbaBAgWUMbN-bYs9zgnvhJWZdgdYsg_LyZe4xu-mh-N5na7mgJlJmG5yfsZe53KHF1G6Dq5C7zSD/s320/Garlic%20naan%20bread%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmm! Garlic naan bread!<br />Or as it's known to Persian speakers, garlic bread bread!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>
<br /><br />
<h3>5) Naan bread</h3><br />Naan is a Persian word which translates as bread, so the phrase 'naan bread' actually means 'bread bread'!<br /><br />On a related note, my mate reckoned he could smell Persian flatbread from a mile away. I told him that was naan scents.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzv0KNZjldrO8jtTPnO3FWm55NSp_nWR1pUdxqmsBtMNTAXSQBQjxKCVhjqh8XzX3CnuFU9Ier1kK4AM836f5lPXP8VkFZNoxymFe1kMF0rndKTEaZKE1txYO5fQbO_RlCsZaSUHH7LyLyrN054D7iR6du5dpJr4sWn0jHdf8OxlpIwWe5_dSS2E8lDvSX/s700/Cartoon%20germ%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="700" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzv0KNZjldrO8jtTPnO3FWm55NSp_nWR1pUdxqmsBtMNTAXSQBQjxKCVhjqh8XzX3CnuFU9Ier1kK4AM836f5lPXP8VkFZNoxymFe1kMF0rndKTEaZKE1txYO5fQbO_RlCsZaSUHH7LyLyrN054D7iR6du5dpJr4sWn0jHdf8OxlpIwWe5_dSS2E8lDvSX/s320/Cartoon%20germ%20-%20Silly%20Tautologies.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pandemic II: The sequel!<br />Coming soon to a nation near you...<br /><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3>
6) Global pandemic</h3>
<br />A pandemic, by definition, is global. There's no such thing as a
local pandemic. If it was restricted to one local area, then it wouldn't
be a pandemic. It would an endemic.<br /><br />However, if a pandemic was to be repeated (which I'm sure it won't be <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b>**shifty eyes**</b></i></span>), then would that be classed an unnecessary repetition, and thus make it a tautology?<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B099WYGBRT" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XswpP2dcC-I/YRJWlqY_NeI/AAAAAAAAMj0/TWn93DEEShsMDc0R8hVNMDn-ixISvlF4ACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/Dead%2BMen%2BTell%2BNo%2BTales%2Bad%2B468x60.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more silly and foolish tautologies and repetitions below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/01/silly-tautologies-part-3.html" target="_blank">Silly tautologies (part 3)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/07/silly-tautologies-part-4.html" target="_blank">Silly tautologies (part 4)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-29059979588214575802023-12-02T09:01:00.001+00:002023-12-02T09:01:00.149+00:00Amusing car registration numbersRegular readers of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog will know that I generally like to cover <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/11/random-silliness.html" target="_blank">silly</a> and light-hearted subjects. You may therefore be surprised to learn that this week I plan to take a look at car registration numbers.<br /><br />Admittedly, at first glance, car registration numbers may appear to be not at all <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/08/random-silliness-part-2.html" target="_blank">silly</a> and in fact quite a sensible subject. However, all of this week's car registration numbers have a silly theme to them!<br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">1) Good boy!</h3><br />This dog is so well trained that it even does what the car tells him...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjURDioxQ2aQySPvmIb-P9f3CaOp5fyYn4n25uXG42PJcQL8BQi5bO9GIIBrTXS5k1MUk4-eA-qrLdbJLUMyzZEDU89i5nekHihPLUr1m3IjRnYjDcGNmm6A3w5hDA8M8L5AlF5Bg8a01wMH9WcHTFOy60dC5xFuzWIub75NmY0q4mt2s62L_iWkEB4sA/s700/1%20ear%20up%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="633" data-original-width="700" height="361" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjURDioxQ2aQySPvmIb-P9f3CaOp5fyYn4n25uXG42PJcQL8BQi5bO9GIIBrTXS5k1MUk4-eA-qrLdbJLUMyzZEDU89i5nekHihPLUr1m3IjRnYjDcGNmm6A3w5hDA8M8L5AlF5Bg8a01wMH9WcHTFOy60dC5xFuzWIub75NmY0q4mt2s62L_iWkEB4sA/w400-h361/1%20ear%20up%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1EARUP</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"One ear up. Good boy!"</i><br /><br />
<span><a name='more'></a></span><br /><br /><br />
<h3>2) What's my age again?</h3><br />Let's follow that up with a typical question that a son might ask his dad.<br /><br /><i>"How old are you, dad?"<br /></i><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDVxJjTfFKn5w1KnP6zdW_pCnyzp_fGXfhTl4tqDS0AgwlqdZtVv6nk_RBRXW7aR5KwHRcUtaYaPzXa3_zXzGO9EiVAm_h7w60q5WpTSmyID4alI8ruiieCquaYLSB4FJn4lss7aofKwiTGZgaw6vkT8nj8BXKKsKpvUmdf4dBHyhtAOvKKFE5C196w/s700/How%20old%20are%20you%20dad%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="548" data-original-width="700" height="314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGDVxJjTfFKn5w1KnP6zdW_pCnyzp_fGXfhTl4tqDS0AgwlqdZtVv6nk_RBRXW7aR5KwHRcUtaYaPzXa3_zXzGO9EiVAm_h7w60q5WpTSmyID4alI8ruiieCquaYLSB4FJn4lss7aofKwiTGZgaw6vkT8nj8BXKKsKpvUmdf4dBHyhtAOvKKFE5C196w/w400-h314/How%20old%20are%20you%20dad%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">AM54 SON<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"I'm 54, son."</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>3) They did the math(s)</h3><br />This next car could certainly do with a clean. However, the dirt did provide someone with an opportunity to demonstrate that they did the math/maths*.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* Delete as appropriate based on whether you're American or British.</i></span><br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGYcfpSwWwmFsYa4VxDlr9gOHoJx67elxPIUJTZx-LG6H4UKVRc21HbFXCw5LNvkzsQqBO3l0XeJBCgB3RDni_Lk1M91t2kdsEaYMA83HkSMkHITGlSs7wIoCSBpfOV2Qdba330okpxERveqnylpNNjIMMpYGBuqt_OimRPkSOv-fe5VcfAYPLmcKCzQ/s700/They%20did%20the%20math%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="662" data-original-width="700" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGYcfpSwWwmFsYa4VxDlr9gOHoJx67elxPIUJTZx-LG6H4UKVRc21HbFXCw5LNvkzsQqBO3l0XeJBCgB3RDni_Lk1M91t2kdsEaYMA83HkSMkHITGlSs7wIoCSBpfOV2Qdba330okpxERveqnylpNNjIMMpYGBuqt_OimRPkSOv-fe5VcfAYPLmcKCzQ/s320/They%20did%20the%20math%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">907 X 815<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />907 x 815 = 739,205<br /><br />Just off the top of my head, I can confirm that the sum is indeed correct.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">4) Where are you from?</h3><br />Some
cars display national flags to tell you where they're from. However,
this car went one step further and inquired as to my own nationality.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyce00dLqbwNnphiv3gBmncVl9Jv8sKI3JNq1BI8wUFpmsanEvSk4i1fWXgUMhdipaI5psWBUw4SpV8lZpv1sZOgC2xfraJv5e7IDnFGzMUpBGfHMFZY8V1K6-VMkHRcE4icauGTfjC1_JUOPLAkZfAhjdUB8bY9Jbp2OC_h-3YtC8sg6jNePeYGYo4g/s700/Are%20you%20Irish%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="575" data-original-width="700" height="329" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyce00dLqbwNnphiv3gBmncVl9Jv8sKI3JNq1BI8wUFpmsanEvSk4i1fWXgUMhdipaI5psWBUw4SpV8lZpv1sZOgC2xfraJv5e7IDnFGzMUpBGfHMFZY8V1K6-VMkHRcE4icauGTfjC1_JUOPLAkZfAhjdUB8bY9Jbp2OC_h-3YtC8sg6jNePeYGYo4g/w400-h329/Are%20you%20Irish%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RU IRISH<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Are you Irish?"</i><br /><br />To
answer the car's question, no, I'm English. However, I have a Geordie*
accent and several backpackers I've met on my travels have mistaken my
accent for Irish, so it's an understandable mistake <span style="font-size: small;">to make.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* Explanation for people who are unfamiliar with the regions of England: People who come from Newcastle are known as Geordies and we speak with a Geordie accent.</i></span><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">5) Keeping the conversation going</h3><br />To respond to the above car's question with a question of my own...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik7M9Jxw5v3gzSAScUXGDPoGtyQ8pJu6GT-hT_3Sf7Lf4S9QXWSHu6Me9MM2NBZaUYYSt6NvWhMPuhcPqBWO64ygGy3Qru-VE3OKt6QtfdwLbLIuUcOJ3dFemoQDawTZMEpjRkwDzTcHs7udfUCb7l86DdOkEbFPQkWmjzqtYvnZmuRuojQT37eZAyVQ/s700/Why%20do%20you%20ask%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="661" data-original-width="700" height="378" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik7M9Jxw5v3gzSAScUXGDPoGtyQ8pJu6GT-hT_3Sf7Lf4S9QXWSHu6Me9MM2NBZaUYYSt6NvWhMPuhcPqBWO64ygGy3Qru-VE3OKt6QtfdwLbLIuUcOJ3dFemoQDawTZMEpjRkwDzTcHs7udfUCb7l86DdOkEbFPQkWmjzqtYvnZmuRuojQT37eZAyVQ/w400-h378/Why%20do%20you%20ask%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">YDOUASK</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Why do you ask?"</i><br /><br />They're probably asking because they misplaced my accent.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3>6) Short of funds</h3><br />How much have I got in my bank account?<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8kj8DUJgpJXapfh24qmsxStYruK6mpIQiuCx6LdB_A2Kki5JUVhkeVoG2tUsCHA_ihKfFjQEnHf3WboM8pw-AM1PcsWVoYNp2iFgOMR3Q5gaT-4q722sPJJ8egGQ4fUdeqoTjbve4QFE4AcuUW9kZ7fVdNHlXukTFk97NZXmab9FzW-U180i4ipRS3A/s700/How%20much%20have%20I%20got%20in%20my%20bank%20account%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="556" data-original-width="700" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8kj8DUJgpJXapfh24qmsxStYruK6mpIQiuCx6LdB_A2Kki5JUVhkeVoG2tUsCHA_ihKfFjQEnHf3WboM8pw-AM1PcsWVoYNp2iFgOMR3Q5gaT-4q722sPJJ8egGQ4fUdeqoTjbve4QFE4AcuUW9kZ7fVdNHlXukTFk97NZXmab9FzW-U180i4ipRS3A/w400-h318/How%20much%20have%20I%20got%20in%20my%20bank%20account%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LOL 7P<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"LO<span style="font-size: small;">L. 7p!" *</span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* For the benefit of non-British people, one British pound is divided into 100 pence. One pence is usually shortened to 1p, so if I had seven pence in my bank account, or £0.07, then this would be written as 7p. Please note, I actually have more than that in my bank account. This was a misleading claim for the purposes of making a silly car number plate related joke.</i></span><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">7) Argumentative Scottish car</h3><br />This Scottish car is having an argument with itself.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevUVLHRNSgx92W4GlPnHzBtnNrZvcmQdj14RD7Ee55bSxVxU7GwMO9zysqUtbOE64beKUvo4O6DMrnlLSWEQ7r8plZzqV7rcsM95zS3rPSWczvkski8GKQN5XK4I4LQj3JI7KoOjJZooM3WBYqghuTeYctqcmeLRYYyplFNuYVGoESaJuwsRb_AzBfA/s700/It%20wasn't%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="665" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevUVLHRNSgx92W4GlPnHzBtnNrZvcmQdj14RD7Ee55bSxVxU7GwMO9zysqUtbOE64beKUvo4O6DMrnlLSWEQ7r8plZzqV7rcsM95zS3rPSWczvkski8GKQN5XK4I4LQj3JI7KoOjJZooM3WBYqghuTeYctqcmeLRYYyplFNuYVGoESaJuwsRb_AzBfA/w380-h400/It%20wasn't%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="380" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">W1 SNY<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Wisnae!"<br />"Aye, it wis!"</i><br /><br />Translation: For the benefit of non-Scottish people, 'wisnae' is a Scottish way of saying, "It was not."<br /><span style="font-size: small;">And for the benefit of non-Scottish people with poor extrapolatory deductive skills, "Aye it wis," is the Scottish way of saying, "Yes it was."<br /><br />Editor's note: <i>"Charles, your readers are really clever. You don't have to keep explaining eveything to them!"</i><br />Charles:<i> "Fair point. I won't explain anything from now on."</i><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">8) No explanation necessary</h3><br />Finally, this last hilarious registration number brought a chuckle to my face, and I'm sure it will to yours too.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx7-lljMBKlB3_gTC7Z_VsATXgSUBvwZ3-JdxCgHYOnRr_P2D-0nImwYai_ZR8sj-vmMpZaAyGFmLj6qktgh-NZpsGo6OgMen8UNNjijft6O8Ovzrp7pvH4Cs5ptc3EdBcy8wtcue3XfnRypyJ-nqaw2HBt94f_RB1MtJOhJTPJFbHAdX-FWlf6O-JhA/s700/Mercedes%20registration%20plate%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="433" data-original-width="700" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjx7-lljMBKlB3_gTC7Z_VsATXgSUBvwZ3-JdxCgHYOnRr_P2D-0nImwYai_ZR8sj-vmMpZaAyGFmLj6qktgh-NZpsGo6OgMen8UNNjijft6O8Ovzrp7pvH4Cs5ptc3EdBcy8wtcue3XfnRypyJ-nqaw2HBt94f_RB1MtJOhJTPJFbHAdX-FWlf6O-JhA/w400-h248/Mercedes%20registration%20plate%20-%20Silly%20Car%20Registration%20Numbers.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">FR PP 870<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Editor's note: <i>"Sorry, I don't get that one, Charles. Could you explain it to me?"</i><br />Charles: <i>"No, as you pointed out, there's no need to explain every number plate because my readers are extremely clever, so I'm sure they'll immediately understand it. I made a promise not to provide any more explanations, and I'm keeping my promise."</i><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />If you arrived here expecting a serious discussion of car
registration plates, and were disappointed to discover that it was
actually a light-hearted look at silly car registration numbers, then
check out the following link which may help to ease your disappointment:<a href="https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/results.html?search=Fudgemuffin" target="_blank"><br /></a><a href="https://dvlaregistrations.dvla.gov.uk/search/results.html?search=Fudgemuffin" target="_blank">Car registration plates</a><br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B099WYGBRT" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XswpP2dcC-I/YRJWlqY_NeI/AAAAAAAAMj0/TWn93DEEShsMDc0R8hVNMDn-ixISvlF4ACLcBGAsYHQ/s16000/Dead%2BMen%2BTell%2BNo%2BTales%2Bad%2B468x60.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />
Other amusing blog posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/11/amusingly-confused.html" target="_blank">Amusingly confused</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/11/random-silliness.html" target="_blank">Random silliness</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-75898695349199120912023-11-25T09:01:00.000+00:002023-11-25T09:01:00.138+00:00Random thoughts (part 12)From time to time on the Charles Fudgemffin blog, I randomly like to publish a few random thoughts on random subjects. Today is one of those times.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgVdBfjf-Ei5MOSllyeFY_NuhUP0W5MWtBw8h0pnAcHSh9mEb4cdV3xWR2iNDQoWtc2ORydQI38ao_OWTQT4RYYRSVav4Z9xhX6RDo5ebAxxK5EXFPjxKE87ZwghTN4-6xuSdieUpjPEVyexjUPEF3H4xIUoFw3vjX73b8RYdymbO_39K3hgLa_1uBo1hg/s700/Rebellious%20pigeon%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="700" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgVdBfjf-Ei5MOSllyeFY_NuhUP0W5MWtBw8h0pnAcHSh9mEb4cdV3xWR2iNDQoWtc2ORydQI38ao_OWTQT4RYYRSVav4Z9xhX6RDo5ebAxxK5EXFPjxKE87ZwghTN4-6xuSdieUpjPEVyexjUPEF3H4xIUoFw3vjX73b8RYdymbO_39K3hgLa_1uBo1hg/s320/Rebellious%20pigeon%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Nobody tells me what to do! I'll climb where I want!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3>1) Gone astray</h3><br />You can never lose a homing pigeon. If a 'homing' pigeon doesn't come home, you've lost a normal pigeon.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>2) Too good to waste</h3><br />Have you noticed that there are never any leftover recipes for chocolate?<br />
<br />
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<h3>3) Hypocritical opinions</h3><br />It really annoys me when people use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gGbqLLhsPnKWXodJsU_9Cu18Ps5HsAtK7EfYmwO66A1Rgm0piX-6NkRov3EOOXpnettIbG4piNT2eSUMn_WB1jxEqnl3XqOxb1aUO8Hfr7u-WoxgF1JNfpHtSCUMIxIIrgtPA93CunR3DT4SnKZZNjB9wwrt1kCiy2WkujQD0jZiQxykyONDkxWGgx4C/s700/Gorilla%20taking%20a%20selfie%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="394" data-original-width="700" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6gGbqLLhsPnKWXodJsU_9Cu18Ps5HsAtK7EfYmwO66A1Rgm0piX-6NkRov3EOOXpnettIbG4piNT2eSUMn_WB1jxEqnl3XqOxb1aUO8Hfr7u-WoxgF1JNfpHtSCUMIxIIrgtPA93CunR3DT4SnKZZNjB9wwrt1kCiy2WkujQD0jZiQxykyONDkxWGgx4C/s320/Gorilla%20taking%20a%20selfie%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please note, this isn't the confused girl on the metro. It's a gorilla.<br /><br /><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, that should be obvious due to the fact that<br />it's taking the selfie itself, rather than asking its friend to take it."<br /><i>Charles:</i> "And also because it's a gorilla, not a girl!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />
<h3>4) Photographic mix-up</h3><br />I once heard a girl on the metro ask her friend to take a 'selfie' for her. I don't
know if she realises, but if someone else takes it, it's not called a
selfie. It's called a 'photo'.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>5) Time-keeping memories</h3><br />At some point in the future we may have to explain to kids what 'tick,
tock' means, as almost all modern clocks and watches are silent.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIAwFQjxdl_VVxKlUr4EDekk-HK2u2zLrM_h6xO0nDTQZ7gkQk0RqU63TqUcNsxM7-feMgl9zYYMCmE3wB78Xka8Ub8nDHRbgbH07z_kjf_Wqx8B99KgJkhIEH_8VLxRnME7tPbxzJ1tH2M-LyvJL_EgsMVfYGao6Cuv0OEdauNsgtZPfQDOCjVQOExSyU/s700/Toddler%20in%20escape%20room%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="700" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIAwFQjxdl_VVxKlUr4EDekk-HK2u2zLrM_h6xO0nDTQZ7gkQk0RqU63TqUcNsxM7-feMgl9zYYMCmE3wB78Xka8Ub8nDHRbgbH07z_kjf_Wqx8B99KgJkhIEH_8VLxRnME7tPbxzJ1tH2M-LyvJL_EgsMVfYGao6Cuv0OEdauNsgtZPfQDOCjVQOExSyU/s320/Toddler%20in%20escape%20room%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Challenge accepted!"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><h3>6) A frightening discovery</h3><br />The first person ever to inhale helium must have been totally freaked out when they heard their voice.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>7) Baby breakout</h3><br />To a toddler, every room is an escape room.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>8) Sternutational favourites</h3><br />My favourite nut that sounds like a sneeze is the cashew nut.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>9) Contrasting constitutions</h3><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlAvTNBTDc8oscSsk-2uZjWGOnho6n0oz76-MhI6LOkh1iOllrQjVIytMDeJf14N2s8-VSKll8LGK4kZorzXFE9ScnDYq9cpmqDw2k_xPfXMAp3qXFieq52_PbJlStrQ-xOiEC7_T1h2-B_z_Zlga_2vHRQuAw9ytaLPbyTc_6dmY7mQ_chN81j_MPxlR/s700/First%20aid%20kit%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="424" data-original-width="700" height="194" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWlAvTNBTDc8oscSsk-2uZjWGOnho6n0oz76-MhI6LOkh1iOllrQjVIytMDeJf14N2s8-VSKll8LGK4kZorzXFE9ScnDYq9cpmqDw2k_xPfXMAp3qXFieq52_PbJlStrQ-xOiEC7_T1h2-B_z_Zlga_2vHRQuAw9ytaLPbyTc_6dmY7mQ_chN81j_MPxlR/s320/First%20aid%20kit%20-%20Random%20Thoughts.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Is that an American first aid kit, or an English first aid kit?<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>When you go to the webmd medical website, it asks you if you want to be redirected to their UK website. I couldn't help wondering, 'Why does a medical website need separate versions for the US and the UK?'<br /><br />Is a broken leg somehow different in America compared a broken leg in
England? Are American people biologically different from UK people?<br /><br />Surely biology and medical issues are the same all around the world!?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>10) Final thoughts</h3><br /> In conclusion, there are ten letters.<br /><br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09RNBK35M" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjs-LULuyVJ5TTQwdhSI6HPeFaqkq5rlHUuXN4eoBC4XVur16iCsMUK5vj5LWf2aJJSOiHGD_XLGifsf9iWzaOl2NrZ9MZGPD0xj3T2b1UnONHaw9KuMLadoM48u0_iIdMDLRH2IxFTC1rBqiNtrZXj9euzGtTeF3k32CRF65wZg0ViVxt1Zux5usqcjg=s16000" /></a></div><br /><br />
<h3>11) Bonus thought</h3><br />I bet you counted the letters in 'conclusion', didn't you, just to check there were ten?<br /><br />
- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />
You can find more random thoughts below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/02/random-food-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Random food thoughts</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/09/random-thoughts-nature-edition.html" target="_blank">Random thoughts (nature edition)</a><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, if the 'random' thoughts are specifically about food and nature, then they're not random, are they? They should be called 'specific' thoughts."<br /><i>Charles:</i> "Fine! I'll redo the links below!"<br /></span><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/02/random-food-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Thoughts specifically about food</a><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/09/random-thoughts-nature-edition.html" target="_blank"><br />Thoughts specifically about nature</a><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><i>Editor:</i> "Thank you! That's better!"</span><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-24387954588592945342023-11-18T09:01:00.008+00:002023-12-13T17:06:40.790+00:00If I had a dollar...Good ideas are like dollars. They make cents.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3KSJzGvj5KBtd1Z9Qjp54y0QqQVLwZBJmVJ-9Cy2_XEtKE9zvqtGTdV3DPEInSA2RIG1mxiO1REWn2XJE3rIyjpEMHast30IV9sPEJ33ZKkKRz_QwdEUl2cewVmn9Mh5eC1Vg6tZCTgN1iDm4w2c6YB-qmEF9kqMKcJB9zGyb_0Xc6PwD2T8iVdIVT2TY/s700/Windows%20crashed%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="394" data-original-width="700" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3KSJzGvj5KBtd1Z9Qjp54y0QqQVLwZBJmVJ-9Cy2_XEtKE9zvqtGTdV3DPEInSA2RIG1mxiO1REWn2XJE3rIyjpEMHast30IV9sPEJ33ZKkKRz_QwdEUl2cewVmn9Mh5eC1Vg6tZCTgN1iDm4w2c6YB-qmEF9kqMKcJB9zGyb_0Xc6PwD2T8iVdIVT2TY/s320/Windows%20crashed%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Looks like Windows has crashed again.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>That was a financially related way of leading into this week's blog post, as this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a round-up of 'If I had a dollar' jokes.*<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* For the benefit of UK readers, that's like an 'If I had a penny' joke, but with a really bad exchange rate.</i></span><br />
<br />1) If Bill Gates had a dollar for every time Windows crashed...<br /><br />Oh, wait. He does!<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, I wouldn't recommend making jokes about Bill Gates. What if he takes the huff and shadow bans you from Bing?"<br /><i>Charles: </i>"I'm sure Bill has got a really good sense of humor, and would therefore never dream of taking such petty action." <b><i>**shifty eyes**</i></b></span><br />
<br /><br /><br />
2) If I had a dollar for every time I got a math problem wrong...<br />
<br />I'd have $3.56!<br /><br />
<span><a name='more'></a></span>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIQ52_qbilaFE5CBCPlWo81zYcfDSdw37c2O8CMSFDEwx-JSC60oYJ5RivyHRmHLexgaVghhAr4Iqold_KrnUhEN7a2YZERJgPg0hIvFowPQ5Aq-yBnBWDpl-yO3LPXvxooAeB9vvM5aYIxRLnd7Nf7PCOTq1L-sbt9V1lJqsSuhbdZG_HxHd6VqzNY7E4/s700/Eclipse%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="421" data-original-width="700" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIQ52_qbilaFE5CBCPlWo81zYcfDSdw37c2O8CMSFDEwx-JSC60oYJ5RivyHRmHLexgaVghhAr4Iqold_KrnUhEN7a2YZERJgPg0hIvFowPQ5Aq-yBnBWDpl-yO3LPXvxooAeB9vvM5aYIxRLnd7Nf7PCOTq1L-sbt9V1lJqsSuhbdZG_HxHd6VqzNY7E4/s320/Eclipse%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look away now!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />3) If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse...<br /><br />I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need now!<br /><br /><br /><br />4) If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a boring nerd...<br />
<br />I'd have a mean daily income of $4.67 with a standard deviation of $1.75.<br />
<br /><br /><br />5) If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis...<br />
<br />Would it even matter?<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYNeJql8irjBpoFxwjjdsTXQxNyN_DyJYbApMRi9jicqxR6eHy4DGYPoKt28W69lDnbSJJGtPhr5OUS-aBiUZdcilVu0Hmmju772zraIsp43MWe6QUk0YTJsZaTftv9XabfhToqZ9lh75KebDgW6miIma9BJC4XoyZX1wqdbHcsgTyVz9BZ8tn2O6vTBe/s700/Cheese%20on%20toast%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="417" data-original-width="700" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYNeJql8irjBpoFxwjjdsTXQxNyN_DyJYbApMRi9jicqxR6eHy4DGYPoKt28W69lDnbSJJGtPhr5OUS-aBiUZdcilVu0Hmmju772zraIsp43MWe6QUk0YTJsZaTftv9XabfhToqZ9lh75KebDgW6miIma9BJC4XoyZX1wqdbHcsgTyVz9BZ8tn2O6vTBe/s320/Cheese%20on%20toast%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If I had a dollar, I'd buy a cheese on toast sandwich. Mmm...<br /><br /><i>Editor:</i> "Charles, I don't think you could buy a cheese on toast<br />sandwich for that cheap. Not unless you had a time machine."<br /><i>Charles:</i> "Fine. If I had a dollar <i>and </i>a time machine,<br />I'd buy a cheese on toast sandwich."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />6) If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me unattractive...<br />
<br />Girls would find me attractive.<br /><br /><br /><br />
7) If I had a dollar for every time, I got distracted...<br />
<br />I really fancy a cheese toasted sandwich.<br /><br /><br /><br />8) If I had a dollar for every time I messed up the punchline...<br /><br />To get to the other side<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcN8PJOBx0M6l-YOD1Q9dNR-6OQWwUpedjb4pcUm5md-RazXsTnyWCuTlZzKW3duzqJgeRyU8bA_IzpXs0Tjh6AJhh_d4Qy5ooP84PKjxp5x9DevDo8jaWsiIYS9PnW6kDFU338zOEruGKVv1Q41FYGt3EwqWVJujebF08vhyyLKR2LJ-Ow-VkTiaIlxmR/s700/Smiling%20shiba%20inu%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="454" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcN8PJOBx0M6l-YOD1Q9dNR-6OQWwUpedjb4pcUm5md-RazXsTnyWCuTlZzKW3duzqJgeRyU8bA_IzpXs0Tjh6AJhh_d4Qy5ooP84PKjxp5x9DevDo8jaWsiIYS9PnW6kDFU338zOEruGKVv1Q41FYGt3EwqWVJujebF08vhyyLKR2LJ-Ow-VkTiaIlxmR/s320/Smiling%20shiba%20inu%20-%20If%20I%20Had%20A%20Dollar.jpg" width="208" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"A millionaire? Wow!"<br /><br />A smiling shiba inu.</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />9) If I had a dollar for every time algebra has been useful in real life...<br /><br />I'd have (x-1)/y dollars.<br /><br /><br /><br />10) If I had a dollar for every time my dog made me smile...<br />
<br />I'd be a millionaire!<br /><br />- - - - - - - - -<br /><br />If you've got a dollar, and you don't want it, then one way to get rid of it<sup>1</sup> is to buy my light-hearted crime themed short story, '<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/07/there-are-two-types-of-people.html" target="_blank">Two Bullets</a>', which is available for kindle from Amazon. It's currently priced at $0.99. (Or £0.77 in the UK.)<sup>2</sup><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><sup>1</sup> Or most of it. 99 percent of it, to be precise.<br /><sup>2</sup> At the time of writing.</i></span><br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DYDK1SP" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Msz8IXaERas/X0AvvrmA3yI/AAAAAAAALq8/HTtMnaL80MUoHyBefRzjSBo5eUIOjBMIwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Two%2BBullets.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more jokes below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/12/jokes-that-work-better-when-spoken-aloud.html" target="_blank">Jokes that work better when spoken aloud</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/07/there-are-two-types-of-people.html" target="_blank">There are two types of people...</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-44634852918908433622023-11-11T09:01:00.001+00:002023-11-11T09:01:00.137+00:00Random silliness (part 3)It's that time again. Time to be silly!<br /><br />There are many things in the world which can be silly. Putty, seasons, sausages, Billys, even misspelled regions of Italy!<br /><br />This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog celebrates all things silly with another selection of random silliness.<br /><br />1) If you've ever wondered why babies aren't born with teeth, here's why...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzN_-zgdP3NmCxnn44Xte2tQm8ojW-CIigqE4-nGirQJrKVf4OM0PPlCzGpDmVJ0uZgl-X2qdfnNT9YRiRO-xmUWASN7_Egn2O_IhrnOaWVB40yCFn4d2LkLU4O57PvIepMdYB1oLGK4-knTn-yyLIp3YSX7fW7CfVvZg3kBpoZNoA3vbc-rXehgvRrBJ/s500/Babies%20with%20teeth%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="487" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzN_-zgdP3NmCxnn44Xte2tQm8ojW-CIigqE4-nGirQJrKVf4OM0PPlCzGpDmVJ0uZgl-X2qdfnNT9YRiRO-xmUWASN7_Egn2O_IhrnOaWVB40yCFn4d2LkLU4O57PvIepMdYB1oLGK4-knTn-yyLIp3YSX7fW7CfVvZg3kBpoZNoA3vbc-rXehgvRrBJ/s16000/Babies%20with%20teeth%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><br />Credit: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/CoffeeCreekStudio" target="_blank">Coffee Creek Studio</a></i></span><br /><br />Is it just me, or does last baby remind anyone of a baby version of Joey from Friends?<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><i>Editor's note:</i> "It's just you, Charles."</span><br />
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<br /><br /><br />2) I've just invented a new word!<br /><br />Plagiarism.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />3) My favourite nut that sounds like a sneeze is the cashew.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />4) If you flip a photo of bats hanging upside down, it looks like they're challenging each other to a dance off.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXzsg0hNlgJ6lVs6I3bixIKqttmG33AYMEzDB7MpGWI1BkFJ5Ftba_KSu-bG0uUHiACfJP0FdDCWZ8AzgukCPJ4nAlCXDXBuTVvYgyzvG8PLVaoB8Q3jTCBByVP3d2b5wUGwo6UqKll48AGb-U5Gl02RuMijzO94_XskmcZnUZHdJ_Aezay2ZEMudNDfs/s600/Bats%20dancing%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="442" data-original-width="600" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpXzsg0hNlgJ6lVs6I3bixIKqttmG33AYMEzDB7MpGWI1BkFJ5Ftba_KSu-bG0uUHiACfJP0FdDCWZ8AzgukCPJ4nAlCXDXBuTVvYgyzvG8PLVaoB8Q3jTCBByVP3d2b5wUGwo6UqKll48AGb-U5Gl02RuMijzO94_XskmcZnUZHdJ_Aezay2ZEMudNDfs/w400-h295/Bats%20dancing%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/4w17z5/flip_a_picture_of_bats_upside_down_they_become/" target="_blank">reddit</a></i></span><br /><br /><i>Vampire bat:</i> "How do you like my dancing?"<br /><i>Vampire bat's mate:</i> "You suck."<br /><i>Vampire bat:</i> "Yes, but what do you think of my dancing?"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />5) I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank.<div><br />I have no words to describe how angry I am.</div><div><br /></div><br /><br /><br />6) My therapist says I'm obsessed with revenge.<br /><br />I'll show him!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />7) The award for the silliest petition ever must surely go to this next contender...<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkgnmCC3-V0iJyubhkaIF25Q2v49QX-9B7WoiZv4GU51Oj6iaeUfqQKnab5dD0vaV7wB5INokmRMLfRVw2LxYS1wlwJYf8zWlHVj2bkmcLMNxtZK4GViez737gaF_a0C_lRruUq8KUKZCGDDSvzCOE1m75enAFmYYYFqY9YrjiGchy8LZLS70Q-1LXDuZs/s593/Petition%20to%20make%20Red%20Bull%20one%20pound%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="593" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkgnmCC3-V0iJyubhkaIF25Q2v49QX-9B7WoiZv4GU51Oj6iaeUfqQKnab5dD0vaV7wB5INokmRMLfRVw2LxYS1wlwJYf8zWlHVj2bkmcLMNxtZK4GViez737gaF_a0C_lRruUq8KUKZCGDDSvzCOE1m75enAFmYYYFqY9YrjiGchy8LZLS70Q-1LXDuZs/w338-h400/Petition%20to%20make%20Red%20Bull%20one%20pound%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" width="338" /></a></div><br /><i>"Petition to make Red Bill £1 instead of £1.19.<br /><br />It
will save time for me in the mornings. If I give the person behind the
till £1.20, then I have to wait for my 1p change. Let's make it so I can
just give them £1."</i><br /><br />Or you could give them the right money, then you also wouldn't have to wait for your change.<br /><br />Unsurprisingly, the petition was rejected.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />8) I was going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />9) <i>Teacher:</i> "Johnny, name something beginning with 'e' that you're not very good at."<br /><i>Johnny:</i> "Spelling!"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />10) Finally, this last meme highlights the silliness of airline policy with regard to luggage...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOHy6nqs4clMgOzsou41nVNiLJtCf5oowy0Nvyg_y7i9Fks7yUrEdB_QpX_JjigbBfGC5Egp36RURyZJkNgtPb5yweWi3NPTGcODFrGIQFdsFRMj0YZ7NhbopSO_N88iU18ygUFW4h0iRRIu1LwAAdBuMhCZgWBwVrHAt0XC_iniSIIIKciV6doeI3TSsJ/s537/Luggage%20meme%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="450" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOHy6nqs4clMgOzsou41nVNiLJtCf5oowy0Nvyg_y7i9Fks7yUrEdB_QpX_JjigbBfGC5Egp36RURyZJkNgtPb5yweWi3NPTGcODFrGIQFdsFRMj0YZ7NhbopSO_N88iU18ygUFW4h0iRRIu1LwAAdBuMhCZgWBwVrHAt0XC_iniSIIIKciV6doeI3TSsJ/s16000/Luggage%20meme%20-%20Random%20Silliness.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Airline logic.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"I'm sorry, it looks like your baggage is too heavy for the plane. You'll have to remove some items and out them into your carry on luggage, which is going on the same plane."</i><br /><br />N.B.
Apparently, this policy is to ensure that baggage handlers don't have
to lift luggage which is too heavy. Unless you pay the airline extra
money, of course, in which case tough luck on the baggage handlers!<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09RNBK35M" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjs-LULuyVJ5TTQwdhSI6HPeFaqkq5rlHUuXN4eoBC4XVur16iCsMUK5vj5LWf2aJJSOiHGD_XLGifsf9iWzaOl2NrZ9MZGPD0xj3T2b1UnONHaw9KuMLadoM48u0_iIdMDLRH2IxFTC1rBqiNtrZXj9euzGtTeF3k32CRF65wZg0ViVxt1Zux5usqcjg=s16000" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more random silliness below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/11/random-silliness.html" target="_blank">Random silliness (part 1)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/08/random-silliness-part-2.html" target="_blank">Random silliness (part 2)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-6462780306299478892023-11-04T09:01:00.034+00:002023-11-18T17:18:25.974+00:00Randomly generated motivational quotesA rather entertaining website I recently discovered is the <a href="https://inspirobot.me/" target="_blank">InspiroBot</a> website which randomly creates 'motivational quotes' with accompanying images.<br />
<br />Once in a while you will find a genuinely motivational quote, or a deep quote that gets you thinking. However, most of the time the quotes are just utterly bizarre, some of them are outright lies, some are simply evil, and some are actually <i>de</i>motivational.<br /><br />I've compiled a few examples below to illustrate the kind of 'inspirational' quotes that Inspirobot comes up with, and to start things off, here's one quote which I definitely agree with.<br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">1) "Publicly endorse books."</h3><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXkObHaDtANK_vwOHqss2oxOeQynje3iBuGmLnbMlPz-45xLR4HieWOB-yp2YNxEmLEu6BwB0kVoXiDBWvlKP0XcMFvp4buV_Glinvj19eTVFUNOX0GTK78nFVrTLUhjs94bfApS39GDIe0YS6zXu_EBAG9Q_7pPu9WNH4EtQDq2h9t11PPUYte3vsLf5/s500/Publicly%20endorse%20books%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="483" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAXkObHaDtANK_vwOHqss2oxOeQynje3iBuGmLnbMlPz-45xLR4HieWOB-yp2YNxEmLEu6BwB0kVoXiDBWvlKP0XcMFvp4buV_Glinvj19eTVFUNOX0GTK78nFVrTLUhjs94bfApS39GDIe0YS6zXu_EBAG9Q_7pPu9WNH4EtQDq2h9t11PPUYte3vsLf5/s16000/Publicly%20endorse%20books%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Horse 1: </i>"Why do you think that photographer is taking our photo?"<br /><i>Horse 2: </i>"Probably for a motivational quote about books, no doubt."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Some estimates say that over 2.2 billion books are sold every year, so I'm happy to report that this is a quote that many people agree with.<br /><br />However, I'm not sure how the horses tie in with a quote about books!<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Good advice</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That was a positive quote to get the ball rolling, but not all of Inspirobot's quotes are quite as inspirational...<br />
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
2) "Existence stinks."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSOedB430IhtDIVeSKU7BBvBgQhMHJG_2fnkzoXZqIe6qX9yurFqzDYKC-NmZt_CX9Fp5rd_4DVtzvSlpxnEjy4-DSUo1w2mQfr7xqQwyJbEbRAZqE7dt-VCKC58NuiikJE8jaqifw5ygunW8QNs6wajNIhnZAQKq2JK-xWgffrdGHuAKh8lU4T8RnZ2g8/s500/Existence%20stinks%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="460" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSOedB430IhtDIVeSKU7BBvBgQhMHJG_2fnkzoXZqIe6qX9yurFqzDYKC-NmZt_CX9Fp5rd_4DVtzvSlpxnEjy4-DSUo1w2mQfr7xqQwyJbEbRAZqE7dt-VCKC58NuiikJE8jaqifw5ygunW8QNs6wajNIhnZAQKq2JK-xWgffrdGHuAKh8lU4T8RnZ2g8/s16000/Existence%20stinks%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
That's really cheered me up! What an uplifting message!<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Demotivational</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">
3) "A bomb has the power to heal."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAgX7XDMmoyXpuBnlxduiidAY-B-H_kd3dRmrR_Pj58uGtdLaMdZjWqcBwZdZt3N0xQU3qyzIe-CR1RSbzOawGtRHCPrU4xIDbgejlpkNHeiF2FXHe9VeXSeAbBtRwPmOjanqQcEdT6pPEdfOwBp9f8QPFUUNsEa2Rwvhs-Rgjirs3gIbhjhzJAl0aP4sY/s500/A%20bomb%20has%20the%20power%20to%20heal%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAgX7XDMmoyXpuBnlxduiidAY-B-H_kd3dRmrR_Pj58uGtdLaMdZjWqcBwZdZt3N0xQU3qyzIe-CR1RSbzOawGtRHCPrU4xIDbgejlpkNHeiF2FXHe9VeXSeAbBtRwPmOjanqQcEdT6pPEdfOwBp9f8QPFUUNsEa2Rwvhs-Rgjirs3gIbhjhzJAl0aP4sY/s16000/A%20bomb%20has%20the%20power%20to%20heal%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
I don't know what type of bombs they've been watching, but all the bombs I've seen tend to destroy rather than heal.<br />
<br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Lies</u><br /><br /><br /><br />
<br /><h3>4) "Don't imitate someone with a positive outlook on life."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkMQL0z44_h4OKnCeFnYuHG6w465-gAO1obMPOJgDYkMj5JEIeqX9EdZ7xoS_fcBkJppwNy_VKBsgzQdZT-yf3JWuQiDjXGmUVsRS3ATJP0_png28RiE-JjUfQxOlz_LqxuNvdvrNfSNJcK_O-5P4PyR8cFRLkkPqTyjDZXzdjKf7-Gk80tP72q3Eox4BH/s500/Don't%20imitate%20someone%20with%20a%20positive%20outlook%20on%20life%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkMQL0z44_h4OKnCeFnYuHG6w465-gAO1obMPOJgDYkMj5JEIeqX9EdZ7xoS_fcBkJppwNy_VKBsgzQdZT-yf3JWuQiDjXGmUVsRS3ATJP0_png28RiE-JjUfQxOlz_LqxuNvdvrNfSNJcK_O-5P4PyR8cFRLkkPqTyjDZXzdjKf7-Gk80tP72q3Eox4BH/s16000/Don't%20imitate%20someone%20with%20a%20positive%20outlook%20on%20life%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Yeah, because why would you want to be positive about life?<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Demotivational</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Some of the quotes, aren't inspirational, but they are amusing, and this next quote is definitely one such example...<br /><br />
<h3 style="text-align: left;">5) "Be hairy."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIPkCaKTTcirb3NN_vYu86WYqMXEWP2lHue3YH-SaMRm6kGzTl6CnbrKcdsFVjAbkc9yQgZ8I-tCLYzRWaPNtfr5TZI1shwOcU7g5KaLeXl1ETHpxpXX8A7Eao-uLaccsF8IjiiTzHS3kX3QHmTu8sV4nxSQmeEnqsNU4Ljtpwl3BpQ2_sUx5oghdTxBBL/s500/Be%20hairy%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIPkCaKTTcirb3NN_vYu86WYqMXEWP2lHue3YH-SaMRm6kGzTl6CnbrKcdsFVjAbkc9yQgZ8I-tCLYzRWaPNtfr5TZI1shwOcU7g5KaLeXl1ETHpxpXX8A7Eao-uLaccsF8IjiiTzHS3kX3QHmTu8sV4nxSQmeEnqsNU4Ljtpwl3BpQ2_sUx5oghdTxBBL/s16000/Be%20hairy%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />I have to admit, while not exactly motivational, reading this quote would admittedly brighten my day just by the sheer silliness of it.<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Silly!</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3>6) "In your dreams, what you have cooked will be uncooked."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIP31TB8rFG-O_kls5FP7BadiZ5uKoa6EszCt-w8rK_RA-jWZXwrwNVYtOZzP26UeIjch78xsSub14CORZfP-YZp1UaDC7nm1eUBQLe1yblWkcSfIBF2URoRwO1j1utzt6rIm9DIM4hbYe7N1j_5CS8BZ5zwF67qYefx2_fHX8mCzC87LyatrH6dKc8qSC/s500/In%20your%20dreams,%20what%20you%20have%20cooked%20will%20be%20uncooked%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIP31TB8rFG-O_kls5FP7BadiZ5uKoa6EszCt-w8rK_RA-jWZXwrwNVYtOZzP26UeIjch78xsSub14CORZfP-YZp1UaDC7nm1eUBQLe1yblWkcSfIBF2URoRwO1j1utzt6rIm9DIM4hbYe7N1j_5CS8BZ5zwF67qYefx2_fHX8mCzC87LyatrH6dKc8qSC/s16000/In%20your%20dreams,%20what%20you%20have%20cooked%20will%20be%20uncooked%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Er ... what?<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Bizarre</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3>7) "Don't forget to crush your enemies."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8xp9TcJx-YrNgp-zY86JnkWumA2ff7zzRJYKg5pZqS_0P4pHFVNwhEVdfnKZ613jP8cwVr60watlUftNFdUSn1g5ZQkne2lmgkqRMDcmesQmMjunUpsgqZXjX_pO9jd5NysrAUAC_et8ktzP_lhJSHhva3qS91KC0hqz7JmzJqtEeCPrm-4-8lXkKV3Lc/s500/Don't%20forget%20to%20crush%20your%20enemies%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="493" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8xp9TcJx-YrNgp-zY86JnkWumA2ff7zzRJYKg5pZqS_0P4pHFVNwhEVdfnKZ613jP8cwVr60watlUftNFdUSn1g5ZQkne2lmgkqRMDcmesQmMjunUpsgqZXjX_pO9jd5NysrAUAC_et8ktzP_lhJSHhva3qS91KC0hqz7JmzJqtEeCPrm-4-8lXkKV3Lc/s16000/Don't%20forget%20to%20crush%20your%20enemies%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />Always wise advice. Although I'm not sure Sun Tzu would agree, as according to the correct translation of The Art Of War, Mr Tzu prefers preservation of gains over crushing anyone.<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Inspirational</u><br /><i>Sun Tzu rating:</i> <u>False</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">8) "Make everyone in your life feel horrible."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAcqk7RKRlrT7jhaufQFgJObyUl9s1JZzmnW6lNhJx-SdBKkQRk7KqqP1zpMdcDMKgv5bnwE1HIWdmR6IwO1SKirruDsaGlH9M3-HornXgc1pPRrrheCrKg54W18T5UOG0uqCoaQ1osHrvWYaIzLhV7EzrqzqU49zVO5ltuJ86xVS7Dfiu4x9fbZ_FXkoJ/s500/Make%20everyone%20in%20your%20life%20feel%20horrible%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAcqk7RKRlrT7jhaufQFgJObyUl9s1JZzmnW6lNhJx-SdBKkQRk7KqqP1zpMdcDMKgv5bnwE1HIWdmR6IwO1SKirruDsaGlH9M3-HornXgc1pPRrrheCrKg54W18T5UOG0uqCoaQ1osHrvWYaIzLhV7EzrqzqU49zVO5ltuJ86xVS7Dfiu4x9fbZ_FXkoJ/s16000/Make%20everyone%20in%20your%20life%20feel%20horrible%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />
What!? How is this supposed to be motivational!? This is clearly bad advice that only a nasty person would consider.<br /><br />That said, in a warped way I nevertheless would find it amusing if this image turned up in my social media feed. At first glance the background picture does indeed look like the sort of photo you would see as the backdrop to a motivational quote. However, once you actually read the words, you're left thinking, "Eh? Why have they posted such a horrible quote? I wasn't expecting that!" It's the sheer unexpectedness of it that makes me chuckle.<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Evil</u><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">
9) "The fact that you are ugly is what makes you a failure."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTZq2R3ti_zzf_gNKLhhp6MVKKc8lAqB_QOnuBI9VWLX8CWMGpH3AKTPtqP_okN5IaBQko7N50fRv6BU8reYxKismPG0dAX_FhmQyxuSfqtl75-DvacwA3NB-0Wt35jVZrNjLQKw7rST6orL8VHUXs6mU6jsV3x9yMN2ET46yP1XhMTJSHwpQB3Zk5Eao/s500/The%20fact%20that%20you%20are%20ugly%20is%20what%20makes%20you%20a%20failure%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="461" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSTZq2R3ti_zzf_gNKLhhp6MVKKc8lAqB_QOnuBI9VWLX8CWMGpH3AKTPtqP_okN5IaBQko7N50fRv6BU8reYxKismPG0dAX_FhmQyxuSfqtl75-DvacwA3NB-0Wt35jVZrNjLQKw7rST6orL8VHUXs6mU6jsV3x9yMN2ET46yP1XhMTJSHwpQB3Zk5Eao/s16000/The%20fact%20that%20you%20are%20ugly%20is%20what%20makes%20you%20a%20failure%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />Wow! That's really inspiring! Telling someone they're ugly is sure to build their confidence up!<br /><br />That was sarcasm by the way. It's also not true. I can think of plenty of ugly people who were successful in what they did. For example, **** *****, ***** *********, and of course, ***** *****.<br />
<i><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Editor's note:</span></i><span style="font-size: x-small;"> "Charles, I've taken the liberty of censoring the names you mentioned, in case any of them read this and get offended."<br /><i>Charles:</i> "Good idea. I know that **** ***** is a regular reader of this blog (</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">when he's not busy making millions), </span>so I wouldn't want to upset him and lose him as a reader."</span><br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Demotivational</u><br />
<br /><br /><br />
<br />And finally, my personal favourite of all...<br />
<br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">10) "Try to be the reason a stranger gets diarhhoea today."</h3><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-drq_KlLj56AHNzXDVxH18UWEBR5b_6C4DJAJYW8nB5kCPNa1iXLYgRGRsqwiMFLByyqV0lqsYy5JMDgSfz1uJoROCI6G-_BJ4plQnGo7A-57C4BQkqCBqqj1DMMChBVum_3X-qrG-9NTv1lalcKgpkfmKD7JTDqnz3Xy5vbHgSw1BCQXbqUqY7_mkrC3/s500/Try%20to%20be%20the%20reason%20a%20stranger%20gets%20diarrhoea%20today%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="459" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-drq_KlLj56AHNzXDVxH18UWEBR5b_6C4DJAJYW8nB5kCPNa1iXLYgRGRsqwiMFLByyqV0lqsYy5JMDgSfz1uJoROCI6G-_BJ4plQnGo7A-57C4BQkqCBqqj1DMMChBVum_3X-qrG-9NTv1lalcKgpkfmKD7JTDqnz3Xy5vbHgSw1BCQXbqUqY7_mkrC3/s16000/Try%20to%20be%20the%20reason%20a%20stranger%20gets%20diarrhoea%20today%20-%20Randomly%20Generated%20Motivational%20Quotes.jpg" /></a></div><br />I think that's one 'inspirational' quote we can all agree with!<br /><br /><i>Charles Fudgemuffin rating:</i> <u>Bizarre</u><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />Based on the above evidence, I think it's safe to say that there's a
long way to go before we have to worry about artificial intelligence
taking over the world. However, artificial intelligence could perhaps
hurt the feelings of unsuccessful ugly people, or potentially cause an outbreak of diarhhoea among associates of easily manipulable people.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07B8V4R8Y" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--4BDWZxr3d0/WtEddkT0nDI/AAAAAAAAJlI/3iLruPvkQTIW34DKzfa-IMINhKpcIExBACLcBGAs/s1600/The%2BAndroid%2B-%2B468x60%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more AI themed discussion in my previous blog post below:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/08/jokes-written-by-ai.html" target="_blank">Jokes written by AI</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-48640139278097567552023-10-28T09:01:00.009+01:002023-10-28T09:01:00.136+01:00Weird facebook likes (part 6)This is a theme which I haven't featured for quite some time on the Charles Fudgemuffin
blog, but it always makes me chuckle so I'm featuring it again.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_kBF6BI5n4Chj0V0RCYKZEunIbHeasrNG_HlYo0dlaxNQTpVNL5TLQeQe0BHTrHkDSR7D1kqZUunVFnaQyIIA7GMm2ojyo6uZje4qqNxWckQzbJMF_Kt9yd5oVO_pSZn6cW5PU9MIFtglcCSZYstDthtBVYNDEAkHCjg0qq1xpPocHkqf2O-9FgG1Fj0C/s600/Headphones%20ruined%20-%20Weird%20Facebook%20Likes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="527" data-original-width="600" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_kBF6BI5n4Chj0V0RCYKZEunIbHeasrNG_HlYo0dlaxNQTpVNL5TLQeQe0BHTrHkDSR7D1kqZUunVFnaQyIIA7GMm2ojyo6uZje4qqNxWckQzbJMF_Kt9yd5oVO_pSZn6cW5PU9MIFtglcCSZYstDthtBVYNDEAkHCjg0qq1xpPocHkqf2O-9FgG1Fj0C/s320/Headphones%20ruined%20-%20Weird%20Facebook%20Likes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You have ruined your expensive headphones.<br />2 friends like this.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>I'm
talking about <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/07/weird-facebook-likes-part-5.html" target="_blank">weird facebook likes</a>. Specifically, the practice of people posting a status on facebook which
is clearly bad news, and yet several of their alleged 'friends' then bizarrely reach straight for the 'like' button.<br /><br />1) To give an example of what I'm referring to, here's someone who made an expensive mistake.<br /><br />
"Why not add a modern twist to the classic 'forget to check jeans pockets
for tissues before putting them in the wash' by also not checking for
headphones? ******!"<br /><br />
<i>2 friends like this.</i><br />
<br />
So to summarise, you've ruined your expensive headphones, and two of your so-called friends are delighted with this news!<br />
<br />
<span><a name='more'></a></span>
<br /><br />2) Ruining your expensive headphones would definitely be frustrating, but you could at least class it as a first world problem. This next example, however, deals with a far more serious issue.<br /><br />"Right, how serious is this Kim dude about a nuclear attack? Just
wondering if it's worth bothering with all my essays if nuclear war is
going to break out soon!"<br /><br /><i>6 friends like this.</i><br /><br />Nuclear war is on the cards. That's wonderful news! News of a potential nuclear war always brightens my morning!<br /><br />This was a few years ago, and to be fair, it was mainly gullible BBC viewers that thought that nuclear war was
going to break out, and wise 'in the know' people knew that nuclear war was never an issue (at the time). However, it still seems a bizarre subject to like.<br /><br />That said, I have to admit, I did find it amusing that on
hearing about the potential for nuclear war, her reaction was, 'So do I
not need to do my homework?'<br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_6TooH-FKh4okjToF1iuUgoYtCtJwMTEmGoyKiNkyc881fTdRPE98Esv38Z7otNytrDKvV2zUw6pfdZb3NzGrE16LGlsUemMyTe19SEo768oXZxjlTXf_XVeAd30EUaY2yJnWI0CxzxAzJUEDGKNh-EvB-h2jZn9xSVes68wKYnZQD3nCTTcu0Oj7y27/s600/Angry%20emoji%20-%20Weird%20Facebook%20Likes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="600" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb_6TooH-FKh4okjToF1iuUgoYtCtJwMTEmGoyKiNkyc881fTdRPE98Esv38Z7otNytrDKvV2zUw6pfdZb3NzGrE16LGlsUemMyTe19SEo768oXZxjlTXf_XVeAd30EUaY2yJnWI0CxzxAzJUEDGKNh-EvB-h2jZn9xSVes68wKYnZQD3nCTTcu0Oj7y27/s320/Angry%20emoji%20-%20Weird%20Facebook%20Likes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An angry emoji, pictured yesterday.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>3) I've censored some of the more colourful language from this next example, but sufficeth to say it was posted by a very angry person who was given technically accurate but incomplete information from a <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/09/silly-bus-displays.html" target="_blank">bus driver</a>.<br /><br />"Livid!!! Asked the bus driver if this bus went to Newcastle, he smiled
and said yes. The ***** didn't mention it went from Durham to Consett, then
to Stanley, Tanfield, Dipton, Burnopfield, Whickham, the Metro, and
then to ****** Newcastle!!! I will try my best not give this joker some grief
when I get off this bus! Oh, and to top it off, it's raining and I
left my coat in the library at uni!!!!!!"<br /><br />
<i>5 friends like this.</i><br />
<br />
For the benefit of anyone not from the local area, I should point out that
the route described would be a bit like going from England to Scotland
via France, Belgium, Holland, Germany, Denmark and Norway. So although
the bus driver was technically telling the truth, he was nevertheless
being very sneaky by not pointing out that the journey went via the
scenic route.<br /><br />I'm sure it was some comfort to the girl who posted the status though, to discover that at least five of her friends were amused by her extended journey!<br /><br /><br /><br />
4) Here's another forgetful example.<br /><br />"Just got back home and I don't have my key! A night in the car for me then. *****!"<br /><br />
<i>3 friends like this.</i><br />
<br />
Imagine the following conversation:<br /><br />
<i>John:</i> "I've locked myself out."<br />
<i>Fred:</i> "That's nice."<br />
<br />
Surely a true friend would respond, "Well feel free to sleep on our
sofa," and yet no-one offered a roof over his head for the
night. To be fair, neither did I, but in my defence, my priority was writing about it on my blog obviously, rather than helping someone in need.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Editor's note:</i> "Charles, that's not really a defence. If anything, it's more of an admission than a defence."<br /><i>Charles:</i> "You say potato, I say potahto."</span><br />
<br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwPnaljXL3KOCQj1gtlxQIo_QOZFZKm0s8lmLYDrS0vxkuJQ-I1sTtfk2XE1r4ziiQAcWmITI8KRD1M9f2up8XFm1dXsOdqLMLPa1HxVobl0zUXFQz2ctBRXl6bA4X8dZqqcoOlYppfxQqGi-wh6ShypATnuKrDDgCXS2GqvGdJys0hpkIt9aAiRsjo_8I/s600/Slashed%20tyre%20-%20Weird%20Facebook%20Likes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="354" data-original-width="600" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwPnaljXL3KOCQj1gtlxQIo_QOZFZKm0s8lmLYDrS0vxkuJQ-I1sTtfk2XE1r4ziiQAcWmITI8KRD1M9f2up8XFm1dXsOdqLMLPa1HxVobl0zUXFQz2ctBRXl6bA4X8dZqqcoOlYppfxQqGi-wh6ShypATnuKrDDgCXS2GqvGdJys0hpkIt9aAiRsjo_8I/w320-h189/Slashed%20tyre%20-%20Weird%20Facebook%20Likes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Your tyre has been slashed.<br />1 friend likes this.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>5) Finally, of all the weird facebook likes featured so far, this must surely be the most inappropriate like of them all.<br /><br />"Great way to wake up on a Monday morning with this done to your tyre."<br /><br />
<i>1 friend likes this.</i><br />
<br />
So to reiterate, he's had his car tyre slashed, and one friend likes that! Perhaps the
fact that one friend likes this, could be a clue to the identity of the
person who slashed his tyre. Hmm...<br />
<br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />Since I originally began posting about weird facebook likes, facebook have since introduced a variety of reactions, such as laughing face, angry face, cuddle emoji, etc, so nowadays people have no excuse for liking bad news, and yet, some people still do it. I'll therefore no doubt feature another round-up of weird faceook likes in a future blog post.<br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BD2YNCJ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7dZDvbxYze4/WxJognqtp1I/AAAAAAAAJpM/8mvt_YRzU849-lnuvsSxxz6ifYywPrvvgCLcBGAs/s1600/Never%2BWork%2BWith%2BChildren%2BOr%2BAnimals%2B-%2B468%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />For more examples of inappropriate facebook likes (presumably from 'frenemies'), check out my previous blog posts below:<br /><a href="http://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2014/09/weird-facebook-likes-part-4.html" target="_blank">Weird facebook likes (part 4)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/07/weird-facebook-likes-part-5.html" target="_blank">Weird facebook likes (part 5)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-90454917462243110072023-10-21T09:01:00.014+01:002023-10-24T14:35:55.338+01:00Anagrams (part 3)To start off this week's blog post, here's a plug for one of my books...<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4RNepWHH9JyhTy1EXGU-12Adx1_4474437G-dTaflHhTxp6z0MJ2-4KvY6H0hgjNUCpfj-3MglQrarQASxNcabLi-b9gkPUAoJ1BN0DaRFnzVeiMCM_XtoEJBT6xImKYjzIDKt1B7xg_M9V99WDrJWINeXoMmLtIwg_ht845mV__whSsKhUTSa4NFJMCT/s300/The%20Quiz%20Master%20is%20an%20anagram%20of%20Ham%20Zit%20Request%20-%20Anagrams.gif" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="120" data-original-width="300" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4RNepWHH9JyhTy1EXGU-12Adx1_4474437G-dTaflHhTxp6z0MJ2-4KvY6H0hgjNUCpfj-3MglQrarQASxNcabLi-b9gkPUAoJ1BN0DaRFnzVeiMCM_XtoEJBT6xImKYjzIDKt1B7xg_M9V99WDrJWINeXoMmLtIwg_ht845mV__whSsKhUTSa4NFJMCT/s1600/The%20Quiz%20Master%20is%20an%20anagram%20of%20Ham%20Zit%20Request%20-%20Anagrams.gif" width="300" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'The Quiz Master' is an anagram of 'Ham Zit Request',<br />as illustrated by this handy animation.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>'Ham Zit Request'<br /><br />You're probably thinking, 'Ham Zit Request? That's a weird title for a book'. However, this week's blog post is all about anagrams, so 'Ham Zit Request' is actually an anagram of the book title, '<a href="https://l.linklyhq.com/l/1ZYGK" target="_blank">The Quiz Master</a>'.<br /><br />I've featured another batch of anagrams below, and as usual, to test your observation skills I've also included one false anagram. See if you can spot which one it is...<br /><br />1) When the 2005 series of Doctor Who was being made, the preview tapes
were labelled 'Torchwood' as a disguise to prevent the footage from
being leaked.<br /><br />However, the disguise wouldn't have fooled any anagram fanatics, because 'Torchwood' is an anagram of 'Doctor Who'.<br />
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<br /><br />2) Every word is technically an anagram of itself.<br /><br />However, the word 'stifle' is literally an anagram of 'itself'!<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIMTyMEC26zoUfhWpH5tLTLH-EyYiMDOuk8m0kItXRG8PZ14Nqw3eVqat7c-5F0CLQi16aYcBVG9d8UZYPfkS0zcFHpq7l2sriI4bBnr8x4QMZ1qV1W3lrlBwq0eypINJOK3CJxRsTPrKZy3FBzo2C6WEPsh0cLM9AeT2u3v0xeBxQEZYwShbPBY0uJv2n/s700/Olives%20-%20Anagrams.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="363" data-original-width="700" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIMTyMEC26zoUfhWpH5tLTLH-EyYiMDOuk8m0kItXRG8PZ14Nqw3eVqat7c-5F0CLQi16aYcBVG9d8UZYPfkS0zcFHpq7l2sriI4bBnr8x4QMZ1qV1W3lrlBwq0eypINJOK3CJxRsTPrKZy3FBzo2C6WEPsh0cLM9AeT2u3v0xeBxQEZYwShbPBY0uJv2n/s320/Olives%20-%20Anagrams.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Olives.<br />Unpleasant tasting, but excellent at producing healthy cooking oil.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />3) In my opinion olives taste disgusting, and rather appropriately, 'olives' is an anagram of 'so vile'.<br /><br /><br /><br />4) If you're a fan of Clint Eastwood movies, then it's a good bet that you enjoy action from the Old West.<br /><br />That's rather appropriate, because 'Clint Eastwood' is an anagram of 'Old West action'.<br /><br /><br /><br />5) Here's another movie inspired anagram...<br /><br />'The Towering Inferno' is an anagram of 'Not worth fire engine'.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i>Credit: <a href="https://wordsmith.org/anagram/about.html" target="_blank">wordsmith.org</a></i></span><br /><br /><br /><br />6) And another Hollywood based anagram...<br /><br />'Antonio Banderas' is an anagram of 'Bandana Sorter'.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSIntln67K8zL3ic-9ZwM2aMCaz9gHcnfM7m9rYO4Nv_vc0XglMf-BLHVND2t27u7r5ICq8uKKoxlMugvsSMIhyTlnQpU-2myVpVHv56ncbd_OcDzILO87Fy_dhV1gCuhEjXfmAtyD-uxC4Lf7lIebfv4_wXt8c4DbfZxC1EPa3ld1OEp0LS_yHUNaqp06/s700/Stars%20-%20Anagrams.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="363" data-original-width="700" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSIntln67K8zL3ic-9ZwM2aMCaz9gHcnfM7m9rYO4Nv_vc0XglMf-BLHVND2t27u7r5ICq8uKKoxlMugvsSMIhyTlnQpU-2myVpVHv56ncbd_OcDzILO87Fy_dhV1gCuhEjXfmAtyD-uxC4Lf7lIebfv4_wXt8c4DbfZxC1EPa3ld1OEp0LS_yHUNaqp06/s320/Stars%20-%20Anagrams.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stars.<br />Very popular with astronomers.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />7) If this next anagram was true, it would lead to disappointment for a lot of people...<br /><br />'Astronomers' is an anagram of 'No more stars'.<br /><br /><br /><br />8) If we don't vote for the 'right' candidate, then the following anagram comes into play...<br /><br />'Election result' is an anagram of 'Lies, let's recount.'<br /><br /><br /><br />9) Sticking with the theme of politics...<br /><br />'George Bush' is an anagram of 'He bugs Gore'.<br /><br /><br /><br />10) Spandex is a synthetic fiber which expands.<br /><br />Coincidentally, 'spandex' is an anagram of 'expands'!<br /><br /><br /><br />11) For the benefit of any grumpy cynics reading this, 'Valentines Day' is an anagram of 'A nasty evil end'.<br /><br /><br /><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOUjlJ3cXK-K21vSPSFla2Rv5QYBPGSlPbJbhEhNKUnz-8QjNAwujxAKUDOt8s4p1W-pbwy6UAeAvihf2gQig2XP3XwzOoAwybhl12q1y9Gl5tv92IYcdGL7ybRUGo2S-U7n0lEd207f4RJGKxiHzWf8QXdBedV0dO4tMOd6pjvecWrlJBy5EWjMWn25-X/s700/Dog%20wearing%20bandana%20-%20Anagrams.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="466" data-original-width="700" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOUjlJ3cXK-K21vSPSFla2Rv5QYBPGSlPbJbhEhNKUnz-8QjNAwujxAKUDOt8s4p1W-pbwy6UAeAvihf2gQig2XP3XwzOoAwybhl12q1y9Gl5tv92IYcdGL7ybRUGo2S-U7n0lEd207f4RJGKxiHzWf8QXdBedV0dO4tMOd6pjvecWrlJBy5EWjMWn25-X/s320/Dog%20wearing%20bandana%20-%20Anagrams.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A cute dog models a bandana.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>12) Finally, here's an ice skating themed anagram to round things off...<br /><br />'Tonya Harding' is an anagram of 'do an angry hit'.<br /><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br /><br />In case you haven't worked it out, the fake anagram was 'Antonio Banderas'. It's not <i>too </i>far off, but the letters don't quite match up with 'bandana sorter'. 'Antonio Banderas' is, however, an anagram of 'One bandana riots'.<br /><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br /><br />'Ham Zit Request' is a fictional book title which doesn't exist. However, it's anagram, '<a href="https://l.linklyhq.com/l/1ZYGK" target="_blank">The Quiz Master</a>', is a real book which does exist, and it's available for kindle from Amazon.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://l.linklyhq.com/l/1ZYGK" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJbtfOEMYe3LwZvcW5pvxKtI2CS8vPnVy7G7rqBX6nmBN2pI7MO6EnWTeO7LsUvgbMipcWm0I0u8Rs33nitO3i1u4XgB41_4bkfWMDmOXSV-KwXOzd1MdsX2Ny6J3ZNvFALS0xzJCNUI7IZk760PuKmaa_RZraeCL3pB0eLjFazJYLKzTLqn4oHMjRbA/s16000/The%20Quiz%20Master%20-%20Ad%20468x60.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />'You combine flower and anagrams'.<br /><br />Or to put it another way, 'you can find more anagrams below':<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/07/anagrams.html" target="_blank">Anagrams (part 1)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2022/07/anagrams-part-2.html" target="_blank">Anagrams (part 2)<br /></a>Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-7715048443295920752023-10-14T09:01:00.020+01:002023-10-14T09:01:00.141+01:00Light bulb jokes (part 5)The light bulb was such a good idea that it later became the symbol for someone having a bright idea. It's also the inspiration for numerous jokes.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxZBWggzxYYMIJ7G97PCr_RlRzKDvb1M5vr6lhOVz85gvdWlXxLCk2je_kWic8qjicqWx4LyAdzJXj9KZ1NYAFzPLChhTrGhwfG6Qoi5wXhNpPIVeZSegNjiCxWwJR3GGNn3Lcj6yHk8bIzSA__eo-wQKo7CgX4jph2oUXRwqzjy9bChPp9eFPqmAgXQ/s700/Light%20Bulb%20Jokes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="700" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxZBWggzxYYMIJ7G97PCr_RlRzKDvb1M5vr6lhOVz85gvdWlXxLCk2je_kWic8qjicqWx4LyAdzJXj9KZ1NYAFzPLChhTrGhwfG6Qoi5wXhNpPIVeZSegNjiCxWwJR3GGNn3Lcj6yHk8bIzSA__eo-wQKo7CgX4jph2oUXRwqzjy9bChPp9eFPqmAgXQ/s320/Light%20Bulb%20Jokes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A light bulb.<br />The inspiration for emojis and jokes.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table>So as October 18th is National Light Bulb Day this seems like an appropriate time for another round up of <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/10/how-many-does-it-take-to-change-light-bulb.html" target="_blank">light bulb jokes</a>!<br />
<br />1) How many Bruce Sprinsteen fans does it take to change a light bulb?<br />None. They prefer Dancing In The Dark.<br /><br /><br /><br />2) How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?<br />Ha, ha! As if they have electricity in California!<br /><br /><br /><br />3) How many writers for The Simpsons does is take to change a light bulb?<br />None. They won't admit that it burnt out 15 years ago!<br />
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4) How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?<br />Don't
you mean, 'How many bureaucrats does it take to manage the successful
upgrade and deployment of a new environmental illumination system with
zero safety incidents and zero cost overruns?'<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEictUNXabwgoJA0EowyNwKYK4-1-gf_V_REsb5XpMutcBpznGEMttiWeTMjCgBwxfB3_PHQ3gpAQARetddg3u_y3MGoOXUW4DBfioVYRB1EghGWz8hBpZudm9CUqooW3XpkkZi_-ub8G30kzr0DjefSC8KwqI1j5JFVDQefaZd7zTZ0iK25JEEJzrg51g/s700/Brazilian%20-%20Light%20Bulb%20Jokes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="700" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEictUNXabwgoJA0EowyNwKYK4-1-gf_V_REsb5XpMutcBpznGEMttiWeTMjCgBwxfB3_PHQ3gpAQARetddg3u_y3MGoOXUW4DBfioVYRB1EghGWz8hBpZudm9CUqooW3XpkkZi_-ub8G30kzr0DjefSC8KwqI1j5JFVDQefaZd7zTZ0iK25JEEJzrg51g/s320/Brazilian%20-%20Light%20Bulb%20Jokes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A Brazilian pictured in a stadium with a brazillion fans!<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />5) How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?<br />A brazillion! (A Brazilian.)<br /><br /><br /><br />6) How many Orwellian thought police does it take to change a light bulb?<br />
None. There was never any light bulb.<br />
<br /><br /><br />7) How many tech support people does it take to change a light bulb?<br />
First of all, I have to ask are you sure the light bulb needs replaced? Have you tried switching it off and on again?<br /><br /><br /><br />8) How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a light bulb?<br />They don't, they just talk about how good the old one was.<br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmkflExkkYf7VgrG52lW-5O-5n4A3MuD2XqCdspSovhEk4_lURw0vuA9oFo3N3MaO2XoNHBTAvdUomXeLUxbcXWRZknBfsMGm6GzW0qvaV-iNBDBEkJiES4jVEKibvfr_xeKpuSMsm6wdQuQGdf1IZwBhETa3lJ54-36vtMqWs9bBJf7Tcm5w-lRv3OQ/s700/Empty%20toilet%20roll%20-%20Light%20Bulb%20Jokes.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="700" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmkflExkkYf7VgrG52lW-5O-5n4A3MuD2XqCdspSovhEk4_lURw0vuA9oFo3N3MaO2XoNHBTAvdUomXeLUxbcXWRZknBfsMGm6GzW0qvaV-iNBDBEkJiES4jVEKibvfr_xeKpuSMsm6wdQuQGdf1IZwBhETa3lJ54-36vtMqWs9bBJf7Tcm5w-lRv3OQ/s320/Empty%20toilet%20roll%20-%20Light%20Bulb%20Jokes.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Editor's note: </i>"Charles, that wasn't a light bulb joke. It was a toilet roll joke!"<br /><i>Charles:</i> "Close enough."<br /><i>Editor: </i>"How is that close!? Light bulbs aren't even remotely like toilet paper!"<br /><i>Charles: </i>"Who asked you anyway?"<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br />
9) How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?<br />
Eight. One to change the light bulb, and seven to write angry articles about it.<br />
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10) How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?<br />
No one knows. It has never happened.<br />
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- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br /><br />My short story '<a href="http://smarturl.it/DarknessLight" target="_blank">The Darkness And The Light</a>' doesn't feature any light bulbs, but it does have 'light' in the title, so I thought I would give it a tenuously related plug.<br /><br /><br />
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<a href="http://smarturl.it/DarknessLight" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mTjp0isCEOs/XHLZiL_8eDI/AAAAAAAAKWc/yGgAPf137UMa69UfWXb15Hatxdb0kv73ACLcBGAs/s1600/DL%2B-%2B468x60%2Bad.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more light bulb jokes in my previous blog posts:<a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/10/how-many-does-it-take-to-change-light.html" target="_blank"><br /></a><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/10/how-many-does-it-take-to-change-light.html" target="_blank">Light bulb jokes (part 3) </a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2021/10/how-many-does-it-take-to-change-light-bulb.html" target="_blank">Light bulb jokes (part 4)</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-76179556758427116202023-10-07T09:01:00.010+01:002023-10-20T15:23:25.481+01:00Isn't it ironic? (part 3)Nowadays we have national days to celebrate anything and everything,
and perhaps one of the most unusual national days of them all is
National Irony Day which is celebrated on October 12th. So in honour of
National Irony Day, here is another round-up of <a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/10/isnt-it-ironic-part-2.html" target="_blank">ironic thoughts</a>
and observations.<br />
<br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">1) Ironic card</h3><br />Best teacher ever? With spelling like that, they clearly can't be <i>that</i> good a teacher.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW6Z1Rfd8DZRc5QjxKPvQGad1H9o8tDqBi5FctmxXM9MNmIjgCScJXRhhFXAB8GUzsT-MKbucgkwFMvMQK17UTkvbkqtDUh2DIiHRkzJJd_mxQ7aVLKf9qshjk2mDx3Pk6S8w2UaulqYb2BlZcJg9vkjZMmqk31zRIKx8WceJ54U2kCmthjNTFQ-foHQ/s700/The%20best%20teacher%20ever%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="361" data-original-width="700" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW6Z1Rfd8DZRc5QjxKPvQGad1H9o8tDqBi5FctmxXM9MNmIjgCScJXRhhFXAB8GUzsT-MKbucgkwFMvMQK17UTkvbkqtDUh2DIiHRkzJJd_mxQ7aVLKf9qshjk2mDx3Pk6S8w2UaulqYb2BlZcJg9vkjZMmqk31zRIKx8WceJ54U2kCmthjNTFQ-foHQ/w400-h206/The%20best%20teacher%20ever%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />"<strike>Your</strike><sup> <span style="color: red;">You're</span></sup> the best teacher ever."<br /><br /><span style="color: red;">Poor spelling! See me!</span><br />
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<h3>2) Ironic fame</h3><br />Owls are one of nature's quietest hunters, yet they are famous for the noise they make.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>3) Ironic politician</h3><br />Here's a photo of the former Belgian Health Minister which is presented without comment...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga3NRoWSvR1UAkvsnbh6w5rw0iAtl8lKNki6gfLUt6xD6TlKg98EvoFYPtx4WzrOULVwqA7WTFJdaZk3WlkOQJnPnH2XInBxNmlopbvsnRnZAG-hCdxHxvVVoM1u3_oiPUnSkdqaqaWK7wfl1ycq0IbAqhX5QIdFdqwWcWN7HFV2RCjkZjkQV_xaFQG4mi/s680/Belgian%20Health%20Minister%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="680" data-original-width="516" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga3NRoWSvR1UAkvsnbh6w5rw0iAtl8lKNki6gfLUt6xD6TlKg98EvoFYPtx4WzrOULVwqA7WTFJdaZk3WlkOQJnPnH2XInBxNmlopbvsnRnZAG-hCdxHxvVVoM1u3_oiPUnSkdqaqaWK7wfl1ycq0IbAqhX5QIdFdqwWcWN7HFV2RCjkZjkQV_xaFQG4mi/s16000/Belgian%20Health%20Minister%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">#TurkeysForChristmas #SlugsForSalt</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>Credit:</i> <a href="https://twitter.com/crbarnes001/status/1462125646986027023">@crbarnes001</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<h3>4) Ironic justice</h3><br />An ISIS leader was teaching a class on how to behead prisoners when a sniper shot his head off! Talk about ironic justice!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1YuDWgh-gYbA8Do86fsnbL4odZoW5zJotKvWqX4ePuNQPosMM7c0j7zKAYnNyVkU0zEHjLmyKDjCTNPzFVUHY7YCtFYh900KsOd-avuUsYI5Nmzfgndi3weDGj1MGdiTqAr5XclaEPZO6otpBGL9zPpAdXEF32ZUeYL62-33EYTVfEaWJ83mYXfIK4w/s500/Ironic%20justice%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg"><img border="0" data-original-height="442" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1YuDWgh-gYbA8Do86fsnbL4odZoW5zJotKvWqX4ePuNQPosMM7c0j7zKAYnNyVkU0zEHjLmyKDjCTNPzFVUHY7YCtFYh900KsOd-avuUsYI5Nmzfgndi3weDGj1MGdiTqAr5XclaEPZO6otpBGL9zPpAdXEF32ZUeYL62-33EYTVfEaWJ83mYXfIK4w/s16000/Ironic%20justice%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" /></a></div><br /><i>"In a stroke of irony, a sniper from elite British Special Air Service (S.A.S.) took the head off an ISIS leader who was teaching recruits how to behead prisoners."</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">5) Ironic language</h3><br />If you're wondering how to say 'non-binary' in Spanish...<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIzamxXI70qbmz4pxerPFcOwfBrFlkyzTQiEBb3GAncArMSgCiDWNP5MGrJGT2ERgGSu-mHpIrUKsx-Ku_7tVbYrmSKPKX0trWzHBSLi036y57ymGxv_6fM_YzSkiK95Z-DrnuLguu-MNiZ4ugCAr87Vfu5Phs8g3nxL91yEyvXs3U5vtz4300h2USyg/s550/Non-binary%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="550" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIzamxXI70qbmz4pxerPFcOwfBrFlkyzTQiEBb3GAncArMSgCiDWNP5MGrJGT2ERgGSu-mHpIrUKsx-Ku_7tVbYrmSKPKX0trWzHBSLi036y57ymGxv_6fM_YzSkiK95Z-DrnuLguu-MNiZ4ugCAr87Vfu5Phs8g3nxL91yEyvXs3U5vtz4300h2USyg/s16000/Non-binary%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">There are two ways to say 'non-binary' in Spanish.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>Feminine: No binaria<br />Masculine: No binario</i><br /><br />Top respect to the Spanish langauge for mocking the insane people who think there are seventy three sexes.*<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* At the time of writing. If you're reading this a few years later, that number may have increased to several hundred.</i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCpUAQQ_jeihZbKH2hCzMwd-g7ZK0vWJcThFERqMio7XTKhEVGRfhdxIA93SULDV3aP0lYwLE7cnLXLRWcnTtfVFF8v06lmq6yIKxRN4UZgkNYLgRg59GGJgF7cOuVd2RaGE4M94M4Gj7NjeALF6ixX5C1E4IErSh6qknaoI_u-4NLD94Vi_bxm49nYA/s700/Apartments%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="355" data-original-width="700" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCpUAQQ_jeihZbKH2hCzMwd-g7ZK0vWJcThFERqMio7XTKhEVGRfhdxIA93SULDV3aP0lYwLE7cnLXLRWcnTtfVFF8v06lmq6yIKxRN4UZgkNYLgRg59GGJgF7cOuVd2RaGE4M94M4Gj7NjeALF6ixX5C1E4IErSh6qknaoI_u-4NLD94Vi_bxm49nYA/s320/Apartments%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Apartments.<br />Perhaps they should be called 'togetherments'.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">6) Ironic word</h3><p><br />Why are apartments called apartments when they're all stuck together?<br /><br /></p><p><br /><br /></p><h3>7) Ironic name</h3><br />Two of the most miserable people on television are ironically named Joy!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNCwEuzAzCtZhHMSQ_sqE4afNdqT909ozLBHFvhr5r2gokvsw_CIr7yem2_sx5XCBxtBctpktfAXSu4-3D79Rba89vow9gVrqtbVLeDDZiWHA0dZvU8wMqb02MuTBqUnmyZcE01pT801uDce9lSuIaIa_Xtlr8PdaXLt-zSrdFvb9P4frKjZwUUohmWA/s700/Miserable%20Joy%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="637" data-original-width="700" height="364" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNCwEuzAzCtZhHMSQ_sqE4afNdqT909ozLBHFvhr5r2gokvsw_CIr7yem2_sx5XCBxtBctpktfAXSu4-3D79Rba89vow9gVrqtbVLeDDZiWHA0dZvU8wMqb02MuTBqUnmyZcE01pT801uDce9lSuIaIa_Xtlr8PdaXLt-zSrdFvb9P4frKjZwUUohmWA/w400-h364/Miserable%20Joy%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><i>Joy:</i> "Bah, humbug!"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">8) Ironic invention</h3><br />Nobody knows who invented the fire hydrant, because the patent was destroyed in a fire!<br />
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<br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">9) Ironic advertising slogan</h3><br />Finally, here's a classic example of irony.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF_OeElaoFYxBrrNrlNZrK-5xFesdWs7Ptg3p-S1nydnVUjJXM_GwAi8erG3Ps-90359mQ8A_8ZY60oIhobZLJiv5YLLqKzhHzO4Rs9U5Ew9PTFywKOL26DPnZZIiAG65Vd99fB8SitESQ8ykgKNjSAAuakvkMMdm2HKJX-J8C1fVRGfOsU1on99858A/s500/Should%20have%20gone%20to%20SpecSavers%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="383" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF_OeElaoFYxBrrNrlNZrK-5xFesdWs7Ptg3p-S1nydnVUjJXM_GwAi8erG3Ps-90359mQ8A_8ZY60oIhobZLJiv5YLLqKzhHzO4Rs9U5Ew9PTFywKOL26DPnZZIiAG65Vd99fB8SitESQ8ykgKNjSAAuakvkMMdm2HKJX-J8C1fVRGfOsU1on99858A/s16000/Should%20have%20gone%20to%20SpecSavers%20-%20Isn't%20It%20Ironic.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Whoever was driving this car could do with getting their eyes tested.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"Should have gone to Specsavers. Oh, wait..."</i><br /><br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://smarturl.it/TwoBullets" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="60" data-original-width="468" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Msz8IXaERas/X0AvvrmA3yI/AAAAAAAALq8/HTtMnaL80MUoHyBefRzjSBo5eUIOjBMIwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Two%2BBullets.gif" /></a></div>
<br /><br />You can find more ironic examples in my previous blog posts:<br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2019/10/isnt-it-ironic.html" target="_blank">Isn't it ironic? (part 1)</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2020/10/isnt-it-ironic-part-2.html" target="_blank">Isn't it ironic? (part 2)<br /></a>Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8942335141683014902.post-52260417095480473982023-09-30T09:01:00.002+01:002023-09-30T09:01:00.156+01:00Liars caught in the actToday is National Liar Day. Actually, no, it's not. I just made that up. It was a total lie! National Liars Day isn't until March 1st apparently, although personally I don't see why we need a day to highlight liars.<br /><br />Anyway, that was an example of a liar caught in the act, and this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog highlights several more such examples.<br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">1) Supermarket liar</h3><br />To start things off, here's a claim of 'nothing artificial' which I can't help feeling somewhat suspicious about.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBl_QWCyi0zErzP_idq3YHK4fkwXNw4b_5G0eAYMscoTkQjmWHDZ-eFL_CJBzHFe0KKZPVpPlWC_il-ZfvCfzoWgPNyktK2d9dFj84HX3y4liiutuWtWWGBDTTk-tVEJzd_CKsuRFZBlpagLNxuPIfkIYfJFNp7woLoH2zZ7o8Dxd_FKjq94j0aeBYmHlT/s500/Nothing%20artificial,%20imitation%20crab%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="484" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBl_QWCyi0zErzP_idq3YHK4fkwXNw4b_5G0eAYMscoTkQjmWHDZ-eFL_CJBzHFe0KKZPVpPlWC_il-ZfvCfzoWgPNyktK2d9dFj84HX3y4liiutuWtWWGBDTTk-tVEJzd_CKsuRFZBlpagLNxuPIfkIYfJFNp7woLoH2zZ7o8Dxd_FKjq94j0aeBYmHlT/s16000/Nothing%20artificial,%20imitation%20crab%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Nothing artifical."<br />"Imitation crab."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Real 100% authentic imitation crab! It sounds like something Del Boy would sell.<br />
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<h3>2) 'Hungry' liar</h3><br />Here's a screenshot from a news segment reporting on one unfortunate lady who said her benefit payment doesn't give her enough money to put food on the table.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-t4vmcpHBWKkjT4pnEnE4cqiHB9kzqPiJeg3N1LEEmPFyZtRvCntu5wS1ExOYjT_8itkD1gLMDF_OIDwJsBxsgeyLMp4ENQduxtKoxOx5nG2gC_esNYGLzWeTmLV-8V0Fz162dd0JWIGlLKQezwg4f3_A2Mi66a9P0a2bfI2uIxyBZyjTPi2oW2hEVudk/s500/Benefits%20not%20enough%20to%20put%20food%20on%20the%20table%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="490" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-t4vmcpHBWKkjT4pnEnE4cqiHB9kzqPiJeg3N1LEEmPFyZtRvCntu5wS1ExOYjT_8itkD1gLMDF_OIDwJsBxsgeyLMp4ENQduxtKoxOx5nG2gC_esNYGLzWeTmLV-8V0Fz162dd0JWIGlLKQezwg4f3_A2Mi66a9P0a2bfI2uIxyBZyjTPi2oW2hEVudk/s16000/Benefits%20not%20enough%20to%20put%20food%20on%20the%20table%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Janet Smith of 66 Chestnut Avenue, Bradford, with her face pixelized to protect her identity.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />For some peculiar reason, the viewer that took the screenshot was somewhat sceptical about the woman's claims, although I can't possibly imagine why. <span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b>**shifty eyes**</b></i></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">3) Toaster liar</h3><br />If you're looking to buy a toaster, then good news! Here's one for sale, and it's obviously in excellent condition, because according to the seller it's 'never been taken out of the box'.<br /><br />If you want to check it out for yourself, then here's a photo of it, pictured out of the box.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuj9Ee4kGMtA0ARVcDvZQoxAGWIvoLwSlHPq-D51fYJCm24rxhJ4YglclZfKy-ICG0rraGMuKC6TtFT0faUVQxf61e34c6-ltxldzt_ZAOlV0V76llJYqAJhqccSVsarqksZXUfMrYkuJWrrHN3v6ylT2KVKRAWttTxiKRrJu978sxwKFJJqr0_gxmxqBr/s627/Toaster%20never%20taken%20out%20of%20the%20box%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuj9Ee4kGMtA0ARVcDvZQoxAGWIvoLwSlHPq-D51fYJCm24rxhJ4YglclZfKy-ICG0rraGMuKC6TtFT0faUVQxf61e34c6-ltxldzt_ZAOlV0V76llJYqAJhqccSVsarqksZXUfMrYkuJWrrHN3v6ylT2KVKRAWttTxiKRrJu978sxwKFJJqr0_gxmxqBr/s16000/Toaster%20never%20taken%20out%20of%20the%20box%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Never taken out of the box."<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Sadly, it just shows you how mistrusting people are nowadays when apparently there were some sceptical people who didn't believe the claims of the seller.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">4) Plant liar</h3><br />This next example is a lovely story, so much so that I can't help wishing it was true. However, whoever posted it made one small but crucial error. Have a read of the story and see if you can work out what it is.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjWGerjpDx4ybvLRiKbFriVWOK3IxcIpEWSUfhG-nfBkkEcVLrBCI6wkvnBPxtyo_xoH6YygHSuFeknvWxwANAdt2riJU0LkJVnnn0jYOzoV_il9UUpxgpwdSn4i6GwiQfDTj9spmU7tN-7YRUnVpzoAOhXFuhHJ6xSsgfu106eLPfiGkSB2HmJHjDUX4u/s540/Plant%20sale%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="233" data-original-width="540" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjWGerjpDx4ybvLRiKbFriVWOK3IxcIpEWSUfhG-nfBkkEcVLrBCI6wkvnBPxtyo_xoH6YygHSuFeknvWxwANAdt2riJU0LkJVnnn0jYOzoV_il9UUpxgpwdSn4i6GwiQfDTj9spmU7tN-7YRUnVpzoAOhXFuhHJ6xSsgfu106eLPfiGkSB2HmJHjDUX4u/s16000/Plant%20sale%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A heart-warming story ... with one suspicious detail.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br /><i>"My favourite ever £1 purchase. I'll tell you why...<br /><br />Driving back from work today and I came past a little girl sat on her front garden at a table with a sign saying 'Plants 50p each'. I had no cash or change on me, so I went to the cash point to draw some out. I came back and she had gone.<br /><br />I decided to go back and knock on the door of the house she was sat outside. Her parents answered and said she'd shut up shop early as there were no takers today so far, but she'll be over the moon that you have come and that it was all her idea.<br /><br />I handed over my £1 coin and I haven't seen such an appreciative reaction in a long time. A beaming smile and a thank you, her day was made and so was mine! Young entrepreneur in the making for sure.<br /><br />Have a great week all!"</i><br /><br />Wow! I bet he was pleased that the cash point gave out £1 coins, because all the cash points I've ever used in my entire life have only ever dispensed notes! What a stroke of luck!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3>5) Rich liar</h3><br />I suppose a billionaire could argue that this next advert was a truthful advert, but for the rest of us, this is definitely another example of a liar caught in the act.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWPOB2wefhPwCCO7hnCZAVI7me9p9qGbSYMNh3D_h7yVg2pmjarOaq2vBT-aLoFsuaL3u9Wv0OmCt4LZml4SYVbUY1l_UEgRXftcyYfxAoADSAD8kpoIwSh_0hjYILuFGWCA51ayc1qa66zsC5-ZAoQBe_A9HIoasCV5wmmCc2G4B2alZEfADhrwz9QaxM/s506/Cheap%20furniture%20resale%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="506" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWPOB2wefhPwCCO7hnCZAVI7me9p9qGbSYMNh3D_h7yVg2pmjarOaq2vBT-aLoFsuaL3u9Wv0OmCt4LZml4SYVbUY1l_UEgRXftcyYfxAoADSAD8kpoIwSh_0hjYILuFGWCA51ayc1qa66zsC5-ZAoQBe_A9HIoasCV5wmmCc2G4B2alZEfADhrwz9QaxM/s16000/Cheap%20furniture%20resale%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Cheap' furniture resale.<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><br />"Wow! Only $46 thousand dollars! What a bargain!"<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><h3 style="text-align: left;">6) Boat liar?</h3><br />Finally, I can't state with absolute certainty that this next example is a liar caught in the act. However, the name of the boat does raise the question, 'What happened to Unsinkable I?'<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqA6SCa6pO9FLdZ8hRUzHFU6GoYnR3_W_s1B3nOSMh7i6kdXcveljmkIUp11H26cK6JvSsTov4tHHKH1VOf61p2_3eu4JcuJgMnxiFACicXHur9AuEFxA9qtAbPpwr1JN5lXUkVO1Yl-YOqdwmdq8C0wh4HeoNFflrYeSjVZMN35M1jVDSmreifk2Yl0Gu/s500/Unsinkable%20II%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="374" data-original-width="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqA6SCa6pO9FLdZ8hRUzHFU6GoYnR3_W_s1B3nOSMh7i6kdXcveljmkIUp11H26cK6JvSsTov4tHHKH1VOf61p2_3eu4JcuJgMnxiFACicXHur9AuEFxA9qtAbPpwr1JN5lXUkVO1Yl-YOqdwmdq8C0wh4HeoNFflrYeSjVZMN35M1jVDSmreifk2Yl0Gu/s16000/Unsinkable%20II%20-%20Liars%20Caught%20In%20The%20Act.jpg" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Credit: <a href="https://twitter.com/IrenaBuzarewicz/" target="_blank">@IrenaBuzarewicz</a></td></tr></tbody></table><br />Unsinkable II? Then why did you need to replace Unsinkable I?<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />If you think you're an expert at spotting liars in the act, then you can test your bluff detecting abilities by reading '<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UN6S4GS" target="_blank">True Or False: A Collection Of 100 Light-Hearted Facts And Bluffs</a>' which is available for kindle from Amazon.*<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>* That's true. It's not a bluff.</i></span><br /><br /><br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UN6S4GS" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ao1N4oPHAWo/VRaP_7Is_DI/AAAAAAAAGfw/jN_BEOgmg8E/s1600/True%2Bor%2Bfalse%2B-%2BKindle%2BAd%2B(Wide)%2B1.gif" /></a></div><br /><br />You can find more posts on the theme of questionable honesty below:<br /><a href="http://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2023/01/seems-legit.html" target="_blank">Seems legit</a><br /><a href="https://charlesfudgemuffin.blogspot.com/2016/02/how-to-spot-fake-goods-in-thailand.html" target="_blank">How to spot fake goods in Thailand</a><br />Charles Fudgemuffinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04644403046003673633noreply@blogger.com0