Stupid questions (part 3)

Hooray! Payroll! How interesting!

This week is National Payroll Week, so to celebrate, here are ten interesting facts about payroll...

Only joking!

There aren't ten interesting facts about payroll. There's not even one interesting fact about payroll. Payroll's really boring.

So instead, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin ignores National Payroll Week, and instead focuses on something more interesting...

Stupid questions!

Stupid questions have been featured before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and it seems that librarians often get asked more than their fair share of stupid questions. With that in mind, this week's collection of stupid questions are all questions that were asked in the library...

1) Based on real life?

This lion is certainly real,
but what about the lion from the Wizard Of Oz?

"Is the Wizard Of Oz fiction or non-fiction?"

Hmm, now let me think...

You mean that movie where Dorothy meets a living walking talking scarecrow who doesn't have a brain, a living walking talking tin man who doesn't have a heart, and a talking lion who stands on two feet and who doesn't have courage?  The movie where they then get captured by flying winged monkeys?

Hmm, is the Wizard Of Oz non-fiction?  Hmm, that's a tricky question...

2) The all knowing librarian

"I've forgotten my hotmail password. Could you look it up for me please?"

Yes, that's no problem.  Would you like me to look up your bank details for you as well while I'm at it?  And perhaps your PIN number?

They don't seem to quite understand how the concept of a password works.

3) This one made me chuckle...

Cardboard.

Visitor: "I need a piece of cardboard. 3 feet by 6 feet."
Librarian: "Sorry, we don't keep cardboard at the library."
Visitor: "Then what do you do when someone needs a 6 feet piece of cardboard?"

Yeah, good point.  What did the library do on all of the no doubt many previous occasions when visitors asked for a 3 feet by 6 feet piece of cardboard?

4) The clue is in the title

"Who wrote Anne Frank's diary?"

Hmm, who wrote Anne Frank's diary?  Hmm, that's a tricky question.

A real fairy, not a pretend fairy.

5) This was asked by a young girl...

"Do you have a book about fairies?  But real fairies.  Not pretend fairies that don't exist."

She's obviously a smart cookie.  She knows that pretend fairies don't exist, and therefore she's only interested in real fairies.

On a similar theme, if you want to read stories about the real Santa, rather than the pretend Santa who doesn't exist, then check out 'Santa and the Naughty Elf' for kindle.

6) Another question asked by a young kid...

"Miss, can you do the splits?"

Ha, ha.  When that kid came up to the counter I bet that was the last thing the librarian expected them to ask.

7) A musical question

For the benefit of any young people, this is what an LP used
to look like. LPs were large circular pieces of plastic which
were basically the old version of CDs in the olden days.
And for the benefit of any even younger people,
CDs were the old version of mp3s.

Presumably this next question was asked quite a few years ago...

Visitor: "Do you have ______ on CD?"
Librarian: "Sorry, no, but we do have it on LP."
Visitor: "I don't have time to listen to an LP!"

Yes, because of course a song lasts much longer when you listen to it on an LP rather than a CD!

Although if there were in a rush then I suppose they could always listen to their LPs on 45 instead of 33.*

* Any young people should just ignore this comment, as it's a reference which only old people will understand.

8) A stupid question at the brary

Visitor: "Where do you keep your books on tograpy?"
Librarian: "Tography?"
Visitor: "You know.  Taking photos."

Taking photos?  Don't you mean taking tos?

An eye test.
One of the many services available at your local library, apparently.

9) Libraries aren't just about books...

"Do you do eye tests here?"

Can you borrow books from the opticians?  No?  Then why would a library do eye tests!?

10) Magical Books

Young Kid: "Do you have books on magic?"
Librarian: "Yes."
(Shows the boy where the magic books are.)

The boy came back a few days later looking annoyed...

Young kid: "These are fake! Where do you keep your real magic books?"
Librarian: "What do you mean?"
Young kid: "Like, books which tell me how to turn my brother into a frog?"

It must be really disappointing as a young child to discover that magic isn't real and that you can't really turn your brother into a frog!

. . . . . . . . . .

Footnote: Believe it or not, this week is actually National Payroll Week! Whoever felt the need to create a special week in honour of payroll must have been a really weird person, but anyway, it's a real thing. I didn't just make it up.

Actually, on second thoughts, getting paid is really nice, so perhaps they weren't weird after all!

. . . . . . . .

Most of the stupid questions above were originally posted by librarians on the Library Thing forum.
Stupid questions at Library Thing

You can find more stupid questions at the links below:
Stupid questions (part 2)
"And the award for the most stupid question of all time goes to..."