1) Strange priorities
Whoever wrote this first headline has got a strange sense of priorities...
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| Road sign ruined. In other news, a woman was taken to hospital. |
Oh, no! The road sign was ruined! Oh ... and a woman was taken to hospital.
2) Deaf people didn't listen
This next story features some unfortunate wording...
Deaf people focus of fraud.
"I tried to warn them, but they didn't listen."
3) Carnforth Civic Hall gets new vacuum cleaner
Anyone with a with weak heart shouldn't read this next headline, as the excitement may be too much for them...
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| This story sucks. |
A new vacuum cleaner? Wow! That'll get the tourists flooding in to see it.
What next? A new kettle.
In all seriousness, it must be nice to live in a part of the world so peaceful that a new vacuum cleaner makes the news.
Carnforth Civic Hall gets new vacuum cleaner
4) A reminder for stupid people.
Utah Poison Control Center reminds people not to take poison.
It's lucky I read this next headline, because as it happens, I was just about to take some poison, but then fortunately the Utah Poison Control Center reminded me not to ... just in the nick of time!
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| A reminder to our readers not to take poison. |
"Where do you work?"
"At the Utah Poison Control Center."
"What do you do?"
"We remind people not to take poison."
5) Psychic cancels show due to unforeseen circumstances
The question remains, why didn't she see this coming?
As well as being bad at predicting the future, she's also not too great at PR either.
Psychic show cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances
6) That a long time to wait in line.
Finally, here's a headline which demonstrates that commas can completely change the context of a sentence...
I'm guessing they meant this...
"Sisters reunited after 18 years, at checkout counter."
Rather than this...
"Sisters reunited, after 18 years at checkout counter."
You can find more weird headlines in the blog posts below:
Weird headlines (part 2)
Weird headlines (with a corona virus theme)
There's nothing weird about the 'Don't take poison' headline. It's always wise to warn people of unforeseen dangers.
ReplyDeleteYou may scoff, Charles, but if I hadn't once read a cautionary article entitled 'Don't stab yourself repeatedly through the heart with a knife' I wouldn't be here today.
Previously, I'd never contemplated such an act might be potentially dangerous.