Another batch of daft football quotes to celebrate the new season...
|Two footballs, pictured yesterday.|
However, to make things a bit more interesting I've also included one made-up quote. All except one of the following quotes are real, so see if you can guess which is the made-up quote…
1) "They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."
2) "I don't want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he'll go abroad."
4) "For Iceland there is no such thing as a must-win game, but this is a must-win game."
|For the benefit of commentator Peter Jones,|
this is what zebras actually look like.
...commentator Peter Jones fails his audition for the Nature Channel.
6) "Most of Michael Owen's goals have come in the past."
...Dan Walker reports that Michael Owen has yet to discover the secret of time travel.
7) "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
8) "When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1."
9) "Adebayor wants to leave and you just can't have that, so he has to go."
10) "Samuel Eto'o is reputedly the highest paid player in the world at £350,000 per week. That's £5,000 a day."
...Clive Tyldesley, inventor of the 70 day week.
|Barry Venison reveals his unusual method of getting dressed|
which he would superstitiously follow every match day.
12) "Man City have scored in all of their home wins this year."
13) "Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won't be easy."
14) "I remember when I won my third World Cup, not long after I'd just climbed Mount Everest for the seventh time, and only a few days after I'd got back from the first Moon landings..."
And finally to round things off, here's a famous old quote from John Motson:
15) "For those watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip."
In case you haven't aready guessed, it was the Joe Kinnear quote which was made up. As I'm sure everyone realises, Joe Kinnear has in fact only climbed Mount Everest six times, not seven.
|Not for prudes or squares.|
Amusing Football Quotes
Amusing Football Quotes (Part 2)
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Another Daft Office Prank
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This post was compiled by Charles Fudgemuffin, author of the 'How To Save The World' books which are available for the Kindle app from Amazon:
Charles Fudgemuffin on Amazon
The 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.