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| Football brings happiness to millions. That's a fact! |
Let's start things off with an easy one which I'm sure should be obvious to everyone.
1) Only five teams have ever won the English top league title three seasons in a row. Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City and of course ... Huddersfield Town!
True or false?
2) If Sweden were playing Denmark the abbreviated scorecard in the top left corner of the TV screen would say:
SWE - DEN
...and the unused letters would be DEN-MARK!
True or false?
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| A square football pitch created using Photoshop wizardry, but could a square pitch exist in real life? |
3) You're never more than six feet away from a Chelsea signing.
True or false?
4) It is theoretically possible to have a square football pitch.
True or false?
5) In a charity match in Italy back in 1982, Italian international Giovanni Macaroni scored a brilliant goal from thirty yards while wearing full scuba diving gear.
True or false?
6) Scotland have never missed a penalty in a penalty shootout.
True or false?
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| "Quick! Hide the ball in here!" |
7) In 1994, a match in Australia between Adelaide Emus FC and the Gold Coast Kookaburras had to be played with a boomerang instead of a football when the original ball was stolen by a kangaroo.
True or false?
8) Gary Neville and Phil Neville's dad is called Neville Neville!
True or false?
9) In 1989, a dog (who the local papers affectionately named Ronaldog) ran onto the field during a league match in Portugal and scored a goal, leading to a rule change banning pets from stadiums.
True or false?
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| A red card. Editor's note: "Charles, that's the wrong type of 'red card'." Charles: "Oops, sorry!" |
10) The most red cards ever issued in a single game is 36!
Quite an impressive feat considering that there are only 22 players!
True or false?
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Scroll down the page to find the answers and discover how you did...
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| Top respect to Huddersfield Town for being a part of football history. |
1) Only five teams have ever won the English top league title three seasons in a row. Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United, Manchester City and Huddersfield Town!
True or false?
True. I'm sure everyone already remembers this, but Huddersfield Town were Division 1 champions back in 1924, 1925 and 1926.
2) If Sweden were playing Denmark the abbreviated scorecard would say:
SWE - DEN
True or false?
True. However, only if Sweden were playing at home. If Denmark were at home then it would say:
DEN - SWE
...which isn't quite as impressive.
I didn't clarify if Sweden were playing at home though, so as I'm feeling in a generous mood award yourself a point whatever answer you went for.
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| "Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea." * Lyrics copyright of Chelsea football supporters. Used under fair use legislation. |
3) You're never more than six feet away from a Chelsea signing.
True or false?
False. This was obviously a joke based on the fact that Chelsea have signed about seventy players in the last few seasons.
4) It is theoretically possible to have a square football pitch.
True or false?
True. The rules state that a football pitch must be between 50 and 100 yards wide, and between 100 and 130 yards long, so in theory a football pitch could be 100 yards long by 100 yards wide and it would be legal.
5) Italian international Giovanni Macaroni scored a brilliant goal from thirty yards while wearing full scuba diving gear in a charity match.
True or false?
False. As far as I'm aware, Giovanni Macaroni doesn't even exist. It's just a silly fake stereotypical Italian name. Given that he doesn't exist, you can probably guess that he didn't score a goal wearing scuba diving kit.
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| Scotland. Home of bagpipes, lovely countryside, and perfect penalties. |
6) Scotland have never missed a penalty in a penalty shootout.
True or false?
True. Scotland beat Israel 5-3 on penalties in the Euro 2020 semi-final qualifiers, and then went on to beat Serbia 6-5 on penalties in the final qualifiers. On both occasions they scored every penalty.
7) A match between Adelaide Emus FC and the Gold Coast Kookaburras had to be played with a boomerang instead of a football when the original ball was stolen by a kangaroo.
True or false?
False. It is of course false. It was a koala that stole the ball, not a kangaroo. #NotReally
8) Gary Neville and Phil Neville's dad is called Neville Neville!
True or false?
True. What an unusual name! Imagine being called Mr and Mrs Neville and deciding to name your son Neville!
I'm glad I've got a sensible name like Charles Fudgemuffin! Imagine if my parents had named me Fudgemuffin Fudgemuffin! That would be crazy!
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| Ronaldog demonstrates his dribbling skills. |
9) In 1989, a dog named Ronaldog ran onto the field during a league match in Portugal and scored a goal.
True or false?
False. As cool as it would be for a talented footballing dog to be named Ronaldog, I'm afraid this was another made-up 'fact'.
10) The most red cards ever issued in a single game is 36!
True or false?
True. As mathematically unlikely as it may seem, it happened during an Argentianian Primera D match between Atletico Claypole and Victoriano Arenas. Every player was sent off, and the referee also sent off 14 substitutes and coaches, making 36 red cards in total!
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How did you do? How many answers did you get correct? Check the chart below to rate your performance:
7-10 Man of the match! Keep that up and you'll be a contender for the Ballon D'or!
4-6 Not bad, but there's room for improvement.
0-3 That's very poor! Unless you improve, I'm afraid you'll be playing for **** ******. I suggest you take your ball home in the huff.
11+ Sorry, but I'm afraid there were only ten questions, so you must have cheated. It's a red card for you!
Editor's note: "Charles, I've censored the Real Madrid reference in order to avoid upsetting Vinicius Junior."
Charles: "Probably wise."
You can find more football themed blog posts below:
Funny football quotes (part 17)
Funny football quotes (part 18)
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