Funny football quotes (part 14)

The Qatar World Cup organisers lied and said they could hold the World Cup in the summer. However, it turned out they were lying and that wasn't possible, so as a result of their lies, the World Cup was moved to November. This means the Premier League season starts earlier this year to accommodate the Qatar World Cup organisers' lies.

Sticknaldo

I always like to celebrate the start of a new football season with a football themed blog post, so as a new football season starts this weekend (due to the lies of the Qatar World Cup organisers) that means that this week it's time for another round up of funny football quotes.

1) "In a way, Steve, Manchester City scoring early against Liverpool was the best thing that could happen to Liverpool."
~Sky Sports presenter

Yes, I can just imagine Jurgen Klopp giving his team talk...

"Right, lads. Go out there and concede an early goal, because that's the best thing that can happen to us."



2) "That was never a penalty in a million planets."
~Alan McInally



3) "Frank Lampard has still got the same legs he had five years ago."
~Ray Wilkins

Unless he's had a leg transplant, I would hope so!



4) "Chelsea have to play Sunday night. The FA won't bulge."
~Alan Brazil

"Come on, ref! Blow your watch!"

5) "I can't fault Mark Palios too highly."
~John Motson



6) "Phil Dowd checks his whistle and blows his watch."
~Alan Green



7) "These two clubs had a monopoly of the domestic honours last season."
~Tony Gubba

So wouldn't that be a duopoly, then, Tony?

I've got just the candidate...

8) "Terry Neill isn't here today which suggests he is elsewhere."
~Brian Moore



9) "What’s needed at the FA now is a diplomatic dictator."
~David Pleat



10) "There’ll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."
~Kevin Keegan

What about in the afternoon, Kevin?



11) "When a player gets to 30, so does his body."
~Glenn Hoddle obviously studied biology when he was at school.



12) Callum McManaman: "I always believed we’d win it."
Interviewer: "How does it feel?"
Callum McManaman: "I can’t believe it!"



13) "Ian Rush, deadly ten times out of ten, but that wasn't one of them."
~Peter Jones fails his maths exam.

The Bristol City goalkeeper.

14) "Romania are more Portuguese than German."
~Barry Venison



Finally, to round things off, here's a deliberate pun from Jeff Stelling...

15) "Gerken in the Bristol City goal clearly getting in a pickle."

You can find more football related blog posts below:
Funny football chants
Football related wiki vandalism
What do you love more, football or...?