Funny football quotes (part 18)

Another season of the Premier League comes to an end this weekend, so as is tradition on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, this week we feature another round-up of funny football quotes from footballers, pundits and managers.

Pay attention to the 18 yard box.
It may come in useful later on...

1) "The 33 or 34 year olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful."
...Kevin Keegan

If they're not careful?

I wasn't aware that being careful allowed you to prevent the ageing process?




2) "If Villa got another goal now it would change the scoreline completely."
...Tony Cottee

Funny football quotes (part 17)

This weekend brings good news for football fans with withdrawal symptoms over the summer, because a new season of the Premier League starts today!

We've managed to obtain a photo of the footballer
that David Pleat was referring to.

As has become customary, the Charles Fudgemuffin blog celebrates the new season by bringing you another collection of amusing football themed quotes from players, managers, and pundits.

1) “He is an interesting player ... short back legs.”
...David Pleat

And what about his front legs? Are they short as well?



2) “That kind of natural understanding doesn’t develop naturally.”
…Kenny Cunningham



3) “I will never forget my first game for England at the World Cup. It was against Turkey. No, I mean Tunisia.”
…David Seaman

Funny football quotes (part 16)

Another season of the Premier League comes to a conclusion this weekend, so that can only mean one thing. It's time for another round-up of silly football themed quotes!

"Hurray! We're two nil down!"

1) "Not only has he shown Junior Lewis the red card, but he's also sent him off!"
...Chris Kamara



2) "The good news for Paraguay is that they've gone two-nil down so early on."
...Kevin Keegan



3) "We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately the game is played on grass."
...Brian Clough

Funny football quotes (part 15)

A new season of the Premier League gets under way this weekend, and it's become something of a tradition on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog to mark the occasion with another collection of funny football quotes.

"The perfect penalty."

1) "That was the perfect penalty, apart from he missed it."
…Rob McCaffrey



2) "Ireland will give 99% … everything they've got!"
…Mark Lawrenson



3) "And Ritchie has now scored 11 goals, exactly double the number he scored last season."
…Alan Parry

Ritchie improves on the five and a half goals he scored last season.

Funny football quotes (part 14)

The Qatar World Cup organisers lied and said they could hold the World Cup in the summer. However, it turned out they were lying and that wasn't possible, so as a result of their lies, the World Cup was moved to November. This means the Premier League season starts earlier this year to accommodate the Qatar World Cup organisers' lies.

Sticknaldo

I always like to celebrate the start of a new football season with a football themed blog post, so as a new football season starts this weekend (due to the lies of the Qatar World Cup organisers) that means that this week it's time for another round up of funny football quotes.

1) "In a way, Steve, Manchester City scoring early against Liverpool was the best thing that could happen to Liverpool."
~Sky Sports presenter

Yes, I can just imagine Jurgen Klopp giving his team talk...

"Right, lads. Go out there and concede an early goal, because that's the best thing that can happen to us."



2) "That was never a penalty in a million planets."
~Alan McInally

Funny football quotes (part 13)

I like to mark the end of each football* season with a football themed blog post, so as the Premier League comes to an end this weekend here's another round-up of funny football quotes from managers, players and pundits...

Why was the duck given a red card?
For fowl-play.

* Or 'soccer' for the benefit of any American readers.

1) "I don't know if that result is enough to lift Birmingham off the bottom of the table, although it'll certainly take them above Sunderland."
…Mike Ingham



2) "If it stays as it is, I can’t see it altering."
…Graham Taylor sticks his neck out.



3) "There were two second division matches last night, both in the second division."
...Dominic Allen

Funny football quotes (part 12)

I traditionally like to mark the end of the football season with a football themed blog post, so as the Premier League comes to an end this weekend, here's another round-up of amusing quotes from football managers, players and pundits...

Another football season comes to an end.

1) “Without being too harsh, Croatia were appalling.”
…Teddy Sheringham gives his extremely unharsh assessment of Croatia's performance.



2) “If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.”
…Neville Southall reveals his strange sleeping patterns.



3) “If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.”
…David Coleman

Funny football quotes (part 11)

Another season of the Premier League starts this weekend, so as has become traditional on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, it's time once again to mark the occasion with another round-up of funny football quotes...

Even this cuddly bear knows that the FA Cup Final
is like a final for all football clubs ... not just Wigan!

1) “For Wigan, this game is like a cup final for them.”
…Ian Wright describing the 2013 FA Cup Final.


2) “It's now 1-1. An exact reversal of the score on Saturday.”
…Radio Commentator


3) “As with every young player these days, Ronaldo is 18.”
…Alex Ferguson

Really, Alex? Every young player is 18? Hmm... I'm no expert on the matter, but I'm pretty sure that's not true, Alex!

Funny football quotes (part 10)

Another season of the Premier League draws to a close tomorrow, so to celebrate here's another batch of funny football quotes from managers, ex-players and pundits...

"It's a funny old game."

1) "The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch ... even on a sunny day!"
...Chris Jones


2) “There’s only one place you want to be and that’s Wembley, Old Trafford or Anfield.”
…Mick Channon


3) “Glenn Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson.”
…Ron Greenwood

Funny football quotes (part 2)

A collection of football quotes to round off the season.

Another football season comes to a close.

If there’s one thing you can rely on from footballers and managers, it’s that they often come out with daft quotes. Back in August, to celebrate the start of the football season I illustrated this fact by posting a selection of funny football quotes from a variety of managers, footballers and commentators.

Today sees the final day of the Premier League, so to round off the season I thought this would be an appropriate time to post another batch of amusing football quotes from various pundits, players and other football related celebrities. A few of these had me chuckling as I was typing them up, so hopefully a few other people will likewise find them as amusing as I did.

1) "Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms ... movement and positioning."
...Ron Atkinson


2) "No regrets. None at all. My only regret is that we went out on penalties. That's my only regret but no, no regrets."
...Mick McCarthy