Funny football chants

A new season of football action gets underway this weekend with the Community Shield*, and thankfully this season the fans are finally back.

* Previously known as the Charity Shield until the FA had to change the name because it didn't meet the standards set out in UK charity law.

"Hooray! The government have given football fans
their permission to go to football stadiums again!"

So to celebrate the return of football fans to stadiums, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at some of the amusing chants sung by football supporters in the days before governments got to decide whether supporters were allowed into grounds...

1) After signing Brazilian winger Richarlison, Everton fans came up with a song in honour of their new signing (sang to the tune of She's Electric by Oasis):

"He's Brazilian. He only cost £50 million, and we think he's *cough cough* brilliant. Richarlison."




2) Leeds United fans came up with a twist on ‘You've Lost That Loving Feeling’ when they played Coventry City who had just sold Peter Ndlovu and Noel Whelan:

“You've lost Ndlovu and Whelan. Oh, Ndlovu and Whelan. You've lost Ndlovu and Whelan. Now they're gone, gone, gone, woah-oh-woah...”




3) Aston Villa fans had the following light-hearted advice* for a supporter who proposed to his girlfriend before the match:

“You don’t know what you’re doing!”

* Usually reserved for referees.

"You don't know what you're doing..."
In all seriousness, top respect to him. What a
romantic location to propose! A football stadium!

4) Opposing fans taunted Luis Suarez with the following chant after one of his many biting incidents:

"He bites who he wants,
He bites who he wants,
Luis Suarez, he bites who he wants!"




5) When Fulham were owned by Mohamed Al-Fayed (who also owned Harrod’s), visiting supporters would mock Al-Fayed with the following chant:

“We all agree, Tesco is better than Harrod’s.”




6) England fans to Egypt at Wembley:

“Does your mummy know you’re here?”




7) Scottish fans showed their sense of humour during a World Cup qualifier against Italy in 2007:

"Deep fry your pizzas, we're gonna deep fry your pizzas."




8) Things got confusing when AFC Wimbledon played MK Dons:

“Where were you when you were us?”

A gherkin.
Not to be confused with Dean Gerken,
who played for Colcohester.

9) Crystal Palace fans taunting former Colchester goalkeeper Dean Gerken:

“Stayed in a burger, you should have stayed in a burger!”




10) Opposition fans mocked Rio Ferdinand after his eight month ban for missing a drug test:

“P*** in a bottle. You couldn’t p*** in a bottle.”




11) Here's another song aimed at Rio Ferdinand during his suspension for missing a drug test. This one was sung to the tune of Rio by Duran Duran:

“His name is Rio and he watches from the stand.”




12) Huddersfield fans made a vacuum cleaner joke after they signed Lee Novak:

“We’ve got Novak. We’ve got Novak. Our carpets are filthy. We’ve got Novak.” (No vac.)




13) Chelsea fans reminded Gerrard of his slip that cost Liverpool the title:

“Steven Gerrard, he slips when he wants…”

Floodlights, pictured yesterday.

14) Man United fans had a chuckle at referee Phil Dowd’s expense after he fell over during a match:

“Are you Gerrard in disguise?”




15) Finally, after floodlight failure during an evening match against Dagenham, Brentford fans came up with an amusing twist on the 'we can see you sneaking out' chant:

“We can't see you sneaking out!”

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If you're a football fan who'd like to share other light-hearted football chants, then feel free to leave a comment.

You can find more football themed blog posts below:
World Cup memes
Funny football quotes (part 12)
What do you love more, football or...?