Sunday, 19 May 2013

Funny Football Quotes (Part 2)

A collection of football quotes to round off the season...

Another football season comes to a close.
If there’s one thing you can rely on from footballers and managers, it’s that they often come out with daft quotes.  Back in August, to celebrate the start of the football season I illustrated this fact by posting a selection of funny football quotes from a variety of managers, footballers and commentators.

Today sees the final day of the Premiership, so to round off the season I thought this would be an appropriate time to post another batch of amusing football quotes from various pundits, players and other football related celebrities.  A few of these had me chuckling as I was typing them up, so hopefully a few other people will likewise find them as amusing as I did.

1) "Well, Clive, it's all about the two Ms ... movement and positioning."
...Ron Atkinson

2) "No regrets.  None at all.  My only regret is that we went out on penalties.  That's my only regret but no, no regrets."
...Mick McCarthy

3) "I think England will make it to the semi-finals, along with Brazil, Italy, Germany and France.”
…Chris Kamara names his five semi-finalists.

4) “You can’t do better than go away from home and get a draw.”
…Kevin Keegan

5) "Tony Adams and Niall Quinn were like Little And Large, although they were the same height."
...David O'Leary

6) "You can't say my team aren't winners.  They've proved that by finishing fourth, third and second in the past three seasons."
...Gerard Houllier

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand basic arithmetic.
7) “Had we not got that second goal the score might have been different.”
…David Pleat, explaining the basics of arithmetic.

8) "In their last four Blackburn have lost 3-0, 3-1, 5-3 and 3-2.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that's 12 goals conceded."
...Alan Brazil, apparently lacking David Pleat's grasp of arithmetic.

9) "Pepe Reina must be tearing his hair out."
...Graeme Souness

10) "Tense and nervous are not the words, though they are the words."
...Chris Kamara

11) "If there's one thing Burnley have got it's team spirit and organisation."
...Matt Le Tissier (taking inspiration from Monty Python’s Spanish Inquisition sketch.)

12) “Liverpool wearing an unaccustomed strip of all white … with black shorts and red socks.”
…Dave Wood, BBC Radio Commentator.

13) "Steve McManaman once described Zinedine Zidane as ridiculous, and you can't get a higher compliment than that."
...Jason McAteer

According to Clive Tyldesley, Jamie Carragher 'bleeds red'.
14) "If Wenger is still here next year and Arsenal haven't won any trophies, will he still be here?"
...Steve Claridge (I think you’ve just answered your own question there, Steve.)

And finally, a particular favourite of mine...
15) "If you cut Jamie Carragher open, he'll bleed red."
...Clive Tyldesley

You can find more amusing football quotes at the following links:
Amusing Football Quotes
Amusing Football Quotes (Part 3)

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

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