Funny football quotes (part 16)

Another season of the Premier League comes to a conclusion this weekend, so that can only mean one thing. It's time for another round-up of silly football themed quotes!

"Hurray! We're two nil down!"

1) "Not only has he shown Junior Lewis the red card, but he's also sent him off!"
...Chris Kamara



2) "The good news for Paraguay is that they've gone two-nil down so early on."
...Kevin Keegan



3) "We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately the game is played on grass."
...Brian Clough



4) "I just wonder what would have happened if the shirt had been on the other foot."
...Mike Walker discusses his weird fashion sense.



5) "Chelsea have scored in every game this season. They'll need to keep that up to win today."
...Jamie Redknapp

"At the third stroke it will be eleven fifty five
and 6 inches precisely, beep, beep, beep."

6) "It would be foolish to believe that automatic promotion is automatic in any way whatsoever."
...Dave Bassett

I think the word you're looking for, Dave, is 'accurate', not foolish.



7) "The Bulgarians are doing all they can here to waste every last inch of time in this game."
...Colin MacNamara



8) "We had ten times as many shots on target as Bolton, and they had none at all."
...Sir Bobby Robson



9) "The important thing is that he shook hands with us over the phone."
...Alan Ball

Wow! Modern technology is amazing!

Bill Dodds unveils his latest signing.

10) "The fans expect at least three points at Celtic Park."
…Shaun Maloney



11) "We had a word with him about diving and since then the lad's come on leaps and bounds."
...Billy Dodds



12) "It's end to end stuff, but from side to side."
...Trevor Brooking



13) "If Arsenal don't finish third, they might not finish in third place."
...Alvin Martin

Alvin Martin submits his nomination for the 'Stating The Obvious' Awards.

After analysing the theory, Peter Reid
confirms that, yes, he did go down.

14) "Dzeko went down a bit theoretically."
…Peter Reid



15) "Why Victor Moses isn't in the England side I’ll never know."
...Jamie Redknapp

Perhaps the fact that Victor Moses was Nigerian might have had something to do with it!

You can find more silly football quotes in my previous blog posts:
Funny football quotes (part 14)
Funny football quotes (part 15)