Funny football quotes (part 14)

The Qatar World Cup organisers lied and said they could hold the World Cup in the summer. However, it turned out they were lying and that wasn't possible, so as a result of their lies, the World Cup was moved to November. This means the Premier League season starts earlier this year to accommodate the Qatar World Cup organisers' lies.

Sticknaldo

I always like to celebrate the start of a new football season with a football themed blog post, so as a new football season starts this weekend (due to the lies of the Qatar World Cup organisers) that means that this week it's time for another round up of funny football quotes.

1) "In a way, Steve, Manchester City scoring early against Liverpool was the best thing that could happen to Liverpool."
~Sky Sports presenter

Yes, I can just imagine Jurgen Klopp giving his team talk...

"Right, lads. Go out there and concede an early goal, because that's the best thing that can happen to us."



2) "That was never a penalty in a million planets."
~Alan McInally

Anagrams (part 2)

'Huge buffoon collects weighted farm elm.'

"Quite asleep!"
Er, I mean, "Quiet, please!"

Don't worry, I haven't gone mad and started talking gibberish!* That's an anagram for 'Welcome to the Charles Fudgemuffin blog!'

* Well, no more than usual.

This week I take another look at anagrams, but once again, to mix things up a bit and check that you're staying alert, I've included one fake 'anagram' which isn't actually an anagram. See if you can spot which one it is.

1) If you enjoy peace and quiet, then you'll relate to this first anagram...

'Conversation' is an anagram of 'voices rant on'.

Silly tautologies (part 4)

As I'm sure every knows, the dictionary defines a tautology as 'needless repetition of an idea or description, or an instance of unnecessary recurrence'.

From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, I like to draw attention to silly tautologies, so as it's been a while since my last round-up of silly tautologies, this week's blog post features another selection of unnecessary repetitions!

"Bah! A belated warning!
If only it had been an advance warning!"

1) Advance warning

An 'advance' warning? I think it's fair to say that all warnings are given in advance! You don't warn someone after the event has already occurred!

Imagine the weather forecast saying, "I'm warning you now, take an umbrella when you go out yesterday, because it rained yesterday."

Emoji quiz (part 3)

It's becoming kind of a tradition on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog to feature an emoji quiz every year for World Emoji Day, and this year is no different!

This year the categories are movies, websites, bands, and books. There's also a bonus point up for grabs if you can guess why July 17th was chosen as the day to celebrate World Emoji Day. (Here's a clue... 📅)

Category 1: Movies

To start things off, the movie category includes some classic movies. A not-so-classic movie also made the list.

Here's a clue...
It's not Silence Of The Sheep.

1) 🐍🐍✈️

2) 🗡️🏃‍♂️

3) (🧭😩)🌌

4) 🤐🐑🐑

5) 😇😈👹

Question of the day

It's time to focus on the question of the day ... with a mix of serious and silly questions. This week's question themes include inventions, prunes and Harry Potter.

Editor's note: "Charles, that's the wrong type of 'prune'!
Charles: "Yes, I know, but it's the closest photo I had, so it'll have to do."

Serious:

1) If you could remove one thing from the world, what would it be?



Silly:

2) If prunes are dried plums, then where does prune juice come from?

There are two types of people...

The world can be divided into two types of people. Those who divide the world into two types of people, and those who don't. This week I fall into the first category as this week's blog post features ten examples of the 'two types of people' joke.

There are two types of people in the world.

1) There are two types of people in the world.

Those with a short attention span and ... wow! Look at that advert over there at the right hand side of the page for my latest book!




2) There are 8/4 types of people in the world.

Those who understand fractions, and those who don't.

Nerd jokes (part (4x8)-(5x5))

If you've solved the sum in the title, then you'll know that this week's blog post is nerd jokes part 7. If you haven't solved the sum in the title, then you'll know anyway, because I've just told you!

A nerd, pictured three days before overmorrow.

Anyway, here's another batch of jokes with a nerdish theme to them...

1) There are three types of people in the world.
Those who can count, and those who can't!



2) The teacher gave us homework and said she wanted us to show that we understood fractions...

...so I only did half of it.