Happy new year! (2025 edition)

I know I'm a few days late, but I'd like to wish an extremely happy new year to all readers of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog!

Or if you're not a regular reader, and you just somehow ended up here randomly by mistake, then I also wish you a moderately happy new year, I suppose.

Exercise.
A popular new year's resolution.

Anyway, to start the year off on a new year theme, here's a round up of tips, facts and jokes loosely related to the new year.

1) This year my new year's resolution is to finally go to the gym...

...and cancel that membership I wasted my money on last year.




2) Top tip for dad joke lovers:

Order a takeaway at 11:59pm on New Year's Eve, and when it arrives say, "Do I get a discount on this, because I've been waiting since last year!"

Random conversation starters (part 2)

Throughout the Christmas period, some people will be going to more social events and parties than usual, so to ensure you're prepared, here's a random selection of conversation topics to get the conversation going. As I'm feeling self-indulgent, I've also provided my own answers.

Legal disclaimer: Please note, Santa didn't
really say this. It was actually The Punisher.

1) If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would you choose?

There's a part of me that wants to be topical and answer 'Santa' to this question! However, my sense of justice would probably make me opt for someone like The Punisher.

I'm talking about the original Punisher from the old Marvel Comics, rather than the poor fan fiction version from the Netflix series of a few years ago. Anyway, bringing The Punisher to life would result in hundreds of criminals being removed from the streets, thus making the world a better place.

Christmas memes and jokes

It's less than a week until Christmas, so can you guess what this week's blog post theme is about?

Yes, that's right! Christmas! Great guess!*

* If you guessed wrong, then please ignore the above congratulatory message.

Anyway, here are a few memes and jokes on the theme of Christmas.

1) Imagine if you lived at number 5 in this street. Imagine how awkward it would be trying to book a taxi near Christmas time.

5 Gold Rings.
A great address for fans of Christmas, but not so great for anyone trying to book a taxi.

Taxi driver: "Where to?"
Passenger: "Five Gold Rings, please."
Taxi driver: "No, seriously. Where do you want to go?"
Passenger: "Five Gold Rings."
Taxi driver: "Right! That's it! If you're not going to be serious, then get out!"

Random silliness (part 4)

I'm generally quite silly on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, but it's been a while since I've been specifically silly. Thankfully, I rectify that this week, as this week's blog post features another batch of random silliness!

1) Here's how to write 'hello' in mandarin.

Credit: @mary_rider

If anyone was hoping for a serious answer, then you're in luck! The serious answer is 'ni hao'.

Personally though, I prefer the silly answer.

Funny things kids say (part 12)

It's time for another round up of funny things that kids say. As usual the following quotes are from a variety of sources, most of them from the internet, and one or two from real life.

Beautiful stars.
So beautiful, they're worth staying up past your bedtime for.

1) The glory of creation

Here's a kid with an appreciation for the beauty of the Universe:

Kid: "Mommy, if we are supposed to sleep at night why did God make stars so beautiful?"

Credit: @MadHatterMommy

Very true, although I suspect the kid in question was just trying to stay up past their bedtime.

How to be a rebel! (part 4)

I filled in a job application form recently, and it asked me to describe myself in three words, so I wrote:

"I am a rebel!"

If, like me, you'd also like to be a rebel, then you've come to the right place, because this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog highlights a few examples which demonstrate the art of being a rebel.

1) Rebellious diver

Top marks for the amount of effort put in to create this first act of rebellion.

Credit: flickr

"Don't tell me where I can dive! I'll dive where I want!"

In all seriousness, apparently he was leak testing the pool, but either way, he was still breaking the rules!

Guess the weird headline quiz

I've featured weird headlines before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and I've also featured quizzes. This week, however, I combine the two with a quiz about weird headlines.

For each question, I've removed a word (or words) from the headline, and you have to guess what the missing word (or words) is (or are). To give you a helping hand, each question is multiple choice, so you have four possible answers to choose from. And remember, each headline is weird, so the correct answer may not be what you expect.

"What do you call a yellow bird with a haircut who likes James Bond?"
"A shorn canary."

Please note, to make things trickier I have used a random number of stars for each censored word. (If the number of stars corresponded to the number of missing letters, you would be able to cheat and work out the correct answers!)

1) To start things off, here's a headline that will appeal to movie lovers.

"The name is Bond, James ****."

A) Bond
B) 007
C) The Cat
D) Rodriguez