How many ... does it take to change a light bulb? (part 2)

"How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?"

From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, if a blog post is about an important enough subject, I like to cover it more than once. And what could be more important than National Light Bulb Day!

For those who didn't realise, as ridiculous as it sounds, yesterday was National Light Bulb Day, so in honour of light bulbs everywhere, here's another round-up of light bulb jokes...


1) How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One ... but the light bulb has to want to change.


2) How many clickbait headline writers does it take to change a light bulb?
14. Number 7 will shock you!

Isn't it ironic?

Believe it or not, October 12th is National Irony Day, so in honour of this 'special day' this week's blog post has an ironic theme to it...

The Flat Earth Society, with its
headquarters in London, UK Langley, Virginia...

1) When you set the bar low in limbo, you set the bar high.
When you set the bar high in limbo, you set the bar low.


2) The Flat Earth Society have members all over the globe!


3) In 2014, a memorial tree dedicated to George Harrison from The Beatles died from an infestation of beetles.

Random superhero related thoughts (part 2)

As I'm sure all superhero fans will be aware, this week saw the release of the controversial new Joker movie from DC Comics. Although technically the Joker is a villain, not a hero obviously, I nevertheless thought this would be an appropriate time to round up another collection of random superhero themed thoughts...

"Don't make me hungry. You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry."
#Hangry

1) A flawed disguise

Superman wears glasses to disguise his identity, so does his optician know his true identity?

2) More than he can stomach

If the Hulk ate as much as he could until he was absolutely full, then he turned back into Bruce Banner, would his stomach explode?

Funny courtroom quotes (part 1)

Let's start this week's blog post with a lawyer joke...

"A lawyer, and an honest man."
The importance of the Oxford comma.

Young girl: "Mummy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
Mother: "No, dear. Why do you ask?"
Young girl: "Because that gravestone says, 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

While I'm sure there must be some honest lawyers out there somewhere, if the following funny courtroom quotes are anything to go by, there are nevertheless also quite a few foolish lawyers. Not to mention quite a few foolish witnesses too.

All of the following quotes are taken from official court records...

1) I will survive

Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

Well fancy that! There were no dead survivors!

Top tips (part 3)

Here are a few more silly top tips covering such random subjects as burglars, butter, and Piccadilly Circus.

Legal Disclaimer: Charles Fudgemuffin
does not actually support doing this.

Most of these top tips aren't meant to be taken seriously, but in a couple of cases, I could see them actually working!

1) Makers of Anchor Spreadable Butter. Save time and ink by simply calling it 'Anchor Butter'.


2) If you want to cheat on a 'before and after' weight loss image, just eat loads, get fatter, switch the photos, then wait for all the congratulatory messages!


3) Bought an expensive new TV? Put the empty box next to your neighbour's bin, so burglars target their house not yours.

Lost in translation: Chinese movie titles

In China, many Hollywood movies are given names which translate somewhat differently from the original title.

Here are a few examples which I found quite amusing...

"One Night, Big Belly"

1) Knocked Up

Rather amusingly, when Knocked Up was released in China it was known as 'One Night, Big Belly'.

I suppose that technically it's true!

Knocked Up > One Night, Big Belly

Controversial questions (part 3)

Once again on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog it's time to risk putting civility, politeness and good manners aside as we take look at another selection of controversial questions featuring emotionally polarising subjects such as pizza toppings, modern art, and bacon sandwiches.

"Hey, man! I'm, like, way too cool for pizza!"

To start things off, here's a subject that I didn't even realise was controversial until a few months ago...

1) Is pineapple an acceptable pizza topping?

Pineapple is one of my favourite pizza toppings, so not only do I find it acceptable, but I find it an extremely excellent idea! However, I recently discovered that some people find the idea of putting pineapple on your pizza controversial.

In fact my cousin finds the idea of pineapple on a pizza to be totally bizarre and completely unacceptable. And apparently in some parts of Italy, putting pineapple on a pizza in a criminal offence. #NotReally

But which side of the debate do you agree with?

Is pineapple an acceptable pizza topping or not?