Top tips (part 3)

Saturday 21 September 2019

Here are a few more silly top tips covering such random subjects as burglars, butter, and Piccadilly Circus.

Legal Disclaimer: Charles Fudgemuffin
does not actually support doing this.

Most of these top tips aren't meant to be taken seriously, but in a couple of cases, I could see them actually working!

1) Makers of Anchor Spreadable Butter. Save time and ink by simply calling it 'Anchor Butter'.

2) If you want to cheat on a 'before and after' weight loss image, just eat loads, get fatter, switch the photos, then wait for all the congratulatory messages!

3) Bought an expensive new TV? Put the empty box next to your neighbour's bin, so burglars target their house not yours.

4) Don’t have a light on your phone? Take a photo of the sun, then use the photo to find your way in the dark.

Piccadilly Circus.

5) Confuse website comment moderators by commenting on articles with the message "This comment is awaiting moderation".

6) Kids. If one of your parents says no, try the other parent!

7) Parents. Piccadilly Circus is likely to be considerably busier than two or three people coming into a room.

8) Help burglars to schedule their workload more efficiently by posting your holiday plans on facebook.

Get it right the first time.

9) Top tip for music bands. Mix your music correctly the first time to save time and money on expensive 'remastered' albums 10 years later.

10) Blog owners. Increase your blog traffic by over 200% by mentioning the CIA on a regular basis in your blog posts!

Credit: Many years ago, @Viz comic were the first to start the concept of coming up with amusing top tips, so credit to the people behind Viz for starting this trend.