Top tips (part 2)

Here's another batch of light-hearted top tips covering a variety of subjects such as coconuts, teenagers and wigs...

"Wow, he won a coconut!
He must be really good at throwing things!"

1) Impressionists. Perfect your Hugh Grant impression by counting up to three in Roman numerals.


2) Convince people you're good at throwing things by walking around a fairground holding a coconut.


3) Parents. Prepare your children for Game of Thrones by ending every Mr Men book with 'and then he dies'.


4) Fool people into thinking that you're wearing a wig by running for a bus with one hand on the top of your head.


5) Never type after using supergluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu


6) Trick your dinner party guests into thinking they’re on Big Brother by taking them to the bathroom to slag off the other guests.


7) Guarantee that you always win an auction on eBay by bidding after you've been in the pub for five hours.

"Well on the bright side, at least this is better
than eating insects and rude animal parts."

8) When visiting London ensure you have plenty of personal space around you by simply being friendly to people.


9) Celebrities appearing on I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. Remember to appear surprised when you have to canoe or parachute into the jungle, even though that's what happens every year.


10) Pretend to be a teenager again by verbally abusing someone, and then twenty minutes later asking them for a lift somewhere.

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Here's another top tip! Never work with children or animals or psychopathic violent criminals. Coincidentally, that's also the name of my short story entitled, 'Never Work With Children Or Animals ... Or Psychopathic Violent Criminals', which is available for kindle from Amazon.

You can find more top tips in my previous blog post:
Top tips (part 1)