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| "Amusing contrivances urchins sayeth (part 6)." |
1) Diplomacy skills (part 1)
This was posted by a facebook friend:
Katie: "Mam, did you come from the Tudor times?"
Me: "I know I have grey hair, but how old do think I am!?" 😡😂
As a reminder, the Tudor period was from 1485 to 1603!
2) Kid geography
Here's one involving a class full of Marvel fans...
"My nephew has a new classmate from Zimbabwe and upon discovering that Zimbabwe is in Africa (these kids are 6), the first thing everyone asked him is if he'd been to Wakanda. His reply, "No, there are force fields around it."
And also because Wakanda isn't real. In fact mainly the not real part.
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| Happy apples! |
3) In other news, water is wet
This is a comment from my cousin's kid who is obviously very wise in matters of nutrition...
"Apples are healthy. They have fruit in them!!!"
4) A kid named Dora?
This kid is going to be an explorer when they grow up...
Today my seven year old daughter turns to me and says, "Mom, this compass is so cool. It even shows you how to get to China!" 😂😂
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| Compass with directions for how to get China. |
Correction: This kid is going to be an explorer who gets lost a lot when they grow up.
5) Diplomacy skills (part 2)
And another 'tactful' kid from facebook...
"Good morning mummy. You look so fat you might burst. Anyway where is my cereal?"
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| "Now where did I put that money again?" |
6) The magic money duck!
Here's one from twitter which I love for the way it demonstrates the creatively weird way that kids' brains work:
"It would be nice if a duck came every Monday with money."
That would indeed be extremely cool!
7) The art of the deal
This was posted on twitter by a lady who clearly needs to work on her kids' negotiation skills.
Me: "5 more minutes then bed, guys."
2 year old: "1 more minute!"
Me: "Okay, well 1 is less than 5..."
2 year old: (More insistent.) "1 minute!"
3 year old: (Trying to push her luck.) "3 minutes?!"
Me: "Sold!"
It's funny how kids natural reaction is to try and negotiate, even if they don't properly understand what they're negotiating!
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| As all kids know, money grows on trees. |
8) The bank of mum and dad
A friend was having trouble getting their son to put his toys away after him, and every time he played with his toys he just left them lying about. So to try to get him to think of the consequences of leaving his toys out, she asked him one day, "What would happen if I stand on your toys, because you haven't put them away, and I break them?"
Her son just shrugged and said, "You buy me a new one."
9) Diplomacy skills (part 3)
Another 'tactful' kid from twitter...
"You and Mrs R look the same except she's skinny."
Ha, ha! You've got to love the youthful innocence of kids before tact and political correctness kicks in.
10) A scary realisation
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| A teacher pictured in his natural habitat. |
Finally, here's a story from Quora which I found amusing:
"When my son was five years old, we were doing some grocery shopping and he suddenly froze.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He pointed down the aisle, and I looked to see his preschool teacher walking towards us, with a big smile on her face. She and I exchanged pleasantries while my normally outgoing son cowered behind me, saying nothing.
Once the teacher had left, I asked my son what was wrong.
“What’s she doing here?” he asked in shock. “She lives at school!”
It must be quite a shock for a five year old to learn that their teacher has a life outside of school, and doesn't live in the classroom!
You can find more funny things kids say below:
Funny things kids say (part 4)
Funny things kids say (part 5)
Matthew 11
ReplyDelete[15] He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.