 |
| Personally, I prefer to toast marshmallows, rather than people, over a fire. |
1) "Has London hosted the Olympic Games twice or three times?"
"Once."
2) "Name a way of toasting someone."
"Over a fire."
Charles Fudgemuffin's books and short stories can be found for sale on Amazon for kindle.
Saturday, 28 August 2021
10 funny quiz show answers (part 9)
As confirmed by my eight previous blog posts on the subject of funny quiz show answers, there are many occasions when quiz show contestants gave answers that were amusingly silly. This week I feature ten more silly answers, but first, here's some advice for the contestant who gave the first answer. Always listen carefully to the question.
1) "Has London hosted the Olympic Games twice or three times?"
"Once."
2) "Name a way of toasting someone."
"Over a fire."
1) "Has London hosted the Olympic Games twice or three times?"
"Once."
2) "Name a way of toasting someone."
"Over a fire."
Saturday, 21 August 2021
When tweets go wrong (part 3)
From time to time, the Charles Fudgemfuffin likes to take a look at occasions when ill-thought out tweets have back-fired. Here are a few more of those occasions...
Providing further proof that the world, and specifically the media, is going mad just to placate a few loonies, CNN tweeted about a report on cervical cancer screening aimed at 'individuals with a cervix'.
Or 'women', to use the terminology preferred by non-insane people.
Unsurprisingly, this led to well deserved mockery of CNN, and it also inspired the #IndividualWithACervixSongs hashtag. Here are some of my favourites...
"You’re once, twice, three times an individual with a cervix." 🎵
1) CNN refer to women as 'individuals with a cervix'
Providing further proof that the world, and specifically the media, is going mad just to placate a few loonies, CNN tweeted about a report on cervical cancer screening aimed at 'individuals with a cervix'.
Or 'women', to use the terminology preferred by non-insane people.
 |
| CNN struggle to grasp reality. |
Unsurprisingly, this led to well deserved mockery of CNN, and it also inspired the #IndividualWithACervixSongs hashtag. Here are some of my favourites...
"You’re once, twice, three times an individual with a cervix." 🎵
Saturday, 14 August 2021
Dead Men Tell No Tales
 |
| Dead Men Tell No Tales by Charles Fudgemuffin |
Anyway, to publicise 'Dead Men Tell No Tales', this week's blog post takes a light-hearted look at the subject of death...
1) Wild advice
If you encounter a polar bear in the wild, lie down and pretend you're dead.
It's good practice for when you'll be really dead, two minutes later.
2) Silly questionnaire
I've featured stupid questions before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, but the following question found on an insurance application form has to be the stupidest of them all...
Saturday, 7 August 2021
Funny football chants
A new season of football action gets underway this weekend with the Community Shield*, and thankfully this season the fans are finally back.
* Previously known as the Charity Shield until the FA had to change the name because it didn't meet the standards set out in UK charity law.
1) After signing Brazilian winger Richarlison, Everton fans came up with a song in honour of their new signing (sang to the tune of She's Electric by Oasis):
"He's Brazilian. He only cost £50 million, and we think he's *cough cough* brilliant. Richarlison."
2) Leeds United fans came up with a twist on ‘You've Lost That Loving Feeling’ when they played Coventry City who had just sold Peter Ndlovu and Noel Whelan:
“You've lost Ndlovu and Whelan. Oh, Ndlovu and Whelan. You've lost Ndlovu and Whelan. Now they're gone, gone, gone, woah-oh-woah...”
* Previously known as the Charity Shield until the FA had to change the name because it didn't meet the standards set out in UK charity law.
 |
| "Hooray! The government have given football fans their permission to go to football stadiums again!" |
So to celebrate the return of football fans to stadiums, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at some of the amusing chants sung by football supporters in the days before governments got to decide whether supporters were allowed into grounds...
1) After signing Brazilian winger Richarlison, Everton fans came up with a song in honour of their new signing (sang to the tune of She's Electric by Oasis):
"He's Brazilian. He only cost £50 million, and we think he's *cough cough* brilliant. Richarlison."
2) Leeds United fans came up with a twist on ‘You've Lost That Loving Feeling’ when they played Coventry City who had just sold Peter Ndlovu and Noel Whelan:
“You've lost Ndlovu and Whelan. Oh, Ndlovu and Whelan. You've lost Ndlovu and Whelan. Now they're gone, gone, gone, woah-oh-woah...”
Saturday, 31 July 2021
How to be a rebel! (part 2)
May 29th is an important day for fans of avocados, because today is National Avocado Day!*
* Seriously, I'm not making it up. Check out the link below if you don't believe me:
nationaltoday.com/national-avocado-day
Given that I occasionally use national days as the inspiration for blog post ideas, you may therefore be expecting me this week to publish a blog post about avocados. However, you'd be wrong, because this week I'm not going to write about avocados, or indeed any fruit/vegetable.
Instead, in an act of rebellion, I'm going to write about how to be a rebel. To start things off, here's one creature that is definitely an inspiration for all budding rebels...
This seagull doesn't play by the rules!
I can't help thinking that it's a bit pointless having a sign telling seagulls they're not allowed, primarily because all the seagulls I've ever encountered have been unable to read signs.
* Seriously, I'm not making it up. Check out the link below if you don't believe me:
nationaltoday.com/national-avocado-day
Given that I occasionally use national days as the inspiration for blog post ideas, you may therefore be expecting me this week to publish a blog post about avocados. However, you'd be wrong, because this week I'm not going to write about avocados, or indeed any fruit/vegetable.
Instead, in an act of rebellion, I'm going to write about how to be a rebel. To start things off, here's one creature that is definitely an inspiration for all budding rebels...
1) Rebellious seagull
This seagull doesn't play by the rules!
 |
| "Squawk! Taxation is theft! Squawk!" |
I can't help thinking that it's a bit pointless having a sign telling seagulls they're not allowed, primarily because all the seagulls I've ever encountered have been unable to read signs.
Saturday, 24 July 2021
Funny courtroom quotes (part 4)
 |
| "How did you become deceased?" "Someone took a wild stab in the dark." |
1) Before and after
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes, sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and guess 'before'.
Saturday, 17 July 2021
Emoji quiz (part 2)
Today the world celebrates World Emoji Day! So to join in with the fun, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another emoji quiz.
The categories are movies, TV shows, video games, and books, so take a look at the following emoji clues and see if you can work out what answers they represent.
As with last time it's movies to start us off. Most of these emoji clues represent fairly famous movies, so even if you haven't seen them all you should hopefully have heard of most of them, but number four in particular might be a bit tricky.
1) ⚔️ (🌎🌍)
2) 👦✂️✋🤚
3) 🦖🏞️
4) 👴👨👦👶
5) (🤤🍲) (🕹️🎮)
The categories are movies, TV shows, video games, and books, so take a look at the following emoji clues and see if you can work out what answers they represent.
Category 1: Movies
As with last time it's movies to start us off. Most of these emoji clues represent fairly famous movies, so even if you haven't seen them all you should hopefully have heard of most of them, but number four in particular might be a bit tricky.
 |
| "Why did the dinosaur go to bed?" "Because he was tired." |
2) 👦✂️✋🤚
3) 🦖🏞️
4) 👴👨👦👶
5) (🤤🍲) (🕹️🎮)
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