Five stupid sayings (part 6)

The English language has many cool sayings, but it also has quite a few silly sayings. This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at five more of those stupid sayings.

Donuts may be dumb, but they're also delicious!

1) As dumb as a day old donut

This was a saying that I first heard while watching Prison Break.

The obvious thought that comes to mind is why the need to specify that the donut is a day old? Is a fresh donut any more intelligent than a day old donut?

I'm pretty sure the donut was pretty dumb to begin with, even before it became a day old. If you were to conduct an IQ test on donuts of various ages, I'm pretty sure the relative intelligence levels would come out as equally stupid.

To be fair, I don't think I've heard anyone else say it, so perhaps it's just the character on Prison Break who was as dumb as a day old donut.

The Hypocrite Awards

If there's one thing that annoys me more than anything else, it's bloggers that start their articles with a moan!

On an unrelated note **shifty eyes**, something else which annoys me is hypocrites. This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog highlights some of the many hypocrites found in the world...

1) Hypocritical Geographic

The first ever Hypocrite Award goes to National Geographic for sending out an issue that warns about the damage caused by plastic bags. As if to demonstrate the problem, that issue itself was delivered inside a plastic bag!

Plastic Geographic

Credit: @CoralReefFish

To make it even worse, the magazine itself was plastic sealed, and then put into a plastic bag, so it came inside two plastic bags!

From my own experience, magazines seem to come in paper envelopes nowadays, so it appears National Geographic's hypocrisy is hopefully becoming a thing of the past.

Trolling is fun

Sometimes its obvious when people are trolling. For example, when this dude made a mask of himself not wearing a mask properly, he was obviously doing it to deviously troll people.

Mask troll.

Other times, though, trolling can be more subtle and not so obvious. For me, the perfect troll is when you are left wondering, are they actually trolling or are they genuinely that stupid?

So this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog puts trolling under the microscope. Have a read of the following examples and see if you can decide whether it's a troll cleverly winding people up, or whether they genuinely are that stupid...

1) Flying Carp

Wow! What a rare sight! A bird hitching a ride on a flying carp!

"You can clearly see the bird riding on his back mid-air."

"Wow, I cannot believe you think the fish (who are known for swimming under water) is giving a piggy back ride to the bird (who are known for flying)! I am sad for humanity."

Trolling or stupid?

Cool words from around the world (part 2)

It's been several years since I last featured cool words from around the world on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, but finally the wait is over! That's a long-winded and overly dramatic way of saying that this week's blog post is once again on the theme of cool words from around the world.

Mmm, strawberries.

1) Earth berries

In Norwegian, strawberries are known as 'jordebær' which literally translates as 'earth berry'. Although it's a cool name for strawberries, it's also a weird name, because unlike root crops like carrots, beetroot, turnip, etc, strawberries don't actually grow directly in the ground.

That said, strawberries have no connection to straw, so I suppose the English word is just as weird!

Random movie silliness!

It's the Oscars this weekend, an annual celebration where the phonies of Hollywood come together to pat themselves on the back for all their services towards hypocrisy and dishonesty.

If the smug arrogance of the Oscars leaves you feeling nauseated, then as a movie related alternative, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features random movie silliness!

1) This is how Mr Miagi eats his Babybel cheese.

"Wax on. Wax off."

"Either you eat Babybel "yes" or eat Babybel "no". You eat Babybel "guess so", get squished just like grape.”

They did the math(s)

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at a few examples of 'they did the maths'.*

* Or 'they did the math' for the benefit of American readers.

However, unlike the legacy media who like to tell their readers what to think, I prefer to make my readers think. So, as I often like to do, I've turned it into a true or false quiz! After all, just because 'they did the maths', that doesn't necessarily mean that they did the maths correctly.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...
...which is good news for this proboscis monkey!

So take a look at the following examples and try to decide whether the math(s) backs up the claims, or whether the statements are inaccurate.

1) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

If 99% of people find you unattractive, then there are still approximately 80 million people on Earth who find you attractive!

True or false?

The Hero Awards

To quote a famous, super hero, 'Not all heroes wear capes.'^*

* Sadly, judging by some of the comics I've read recently, many of those wearing capes nowadays have become villains.

Some heroes are regular people, just like you and I!^*

* To clarify, I'm not saying I'm a hero. I'm saying I'm a regular person. I don't want to appear boastful.

I've sometimes highlighted idiots on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog in the semi-regular Idiot Awards, but as well as the world being filled with idiots, thankfully it also contains a large number of heroes.

So to redress the balance, this week I hand out a selection of Hero Awards to deserving winners.

A seatbelt, pictured yesterday.

1) Car heroes

Most corporations nowadays are obsessed with profit, sometimes at the expense of public health or even public life, so it may seem unlikely that a corporation would ever be even remotely deserving of a Hero Award.

However, when Volvo invented the seatbelt back in 1959 they made the patent free for all car manufacturers because they believed that the lives saved by the seatbelt were more important than profit. So congratulations to Volvo for winning the first ever Hero Award!