Five stupid sayings (part 5)

The English language has many silly expressions, and I've highlighted some of those expressions before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog.

This swan is certainly having a good go
at trying to wrap its head around it!

This week I add five more stupid sayings to that ever growing list of silly expressions.

1) "I can't wrap my head around it."

This is a saying which is used to mean, 'I can't understand it,' but taken literally it's a rather bizarre saying.

Of course you can't wrap your head around something. The toughness of the human skull kind of makes that a bit tricky!

2) "A smart cookie."

A smart cookie.

Of all the things in the world to describe as smart, why did the inventor of this saying pick cookies?

After all, cookies aren't generally known for their intelligence. Cookies are generally known for their delicious taste, not for their intelligence.

I think it's therefore safe to say that whoever invented this saying was no smart cookie!

3) "It's been a long day."

Venus and Mars.

It is impossible to have a long day. Every day lasts for exactly 24 hours. Anyone who tells you it's been a long day is lying.

Unless you made this comment on December 31st, 2016*, then this is a false saying. All days last the same length of time, and on Earth that period of time is twenty four hours.

* Just to confuse things, on New year's Eve, 2016, the International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service added an extra 'leap second' to the day.

Perhaps if you traveled to the planet Mars where days last for 25 hours, you might have a long day. Or if you were visiting the planet Venus where each day lasts for 5,832 hours, then you might have a very long day. However, for everyone here on Earth, there is no such thing as a long day.

4) "Keep your eyes peeled."

Eggs keeping their eyes peeled.
Not literally, obviously. In real life, eggs don't have eyes.

When you think about it, if you take it literally, this is a horrific saying. It also makes no sense at all. How does peeling your eyes make you more alert? If anything, peeling your eyes would make you blind, which would surely make you less alert.

Admittedly, this is a saying that I've used myself on numerous occasions without giving it a second thought, but when you analyse it literally, it's actually a gruesome saying.

5) "Sharp as a button."

"Be careful that you don't hurt yourself with all those buttons!"

This is another saying which is utterly ridiculous. Sharp as a button? Whoever invented this saying must have encountered different buttons from all the buttons I've ever seen, because all the buttons I've ever seen haven't been particularly sharp. In fact, they've all been flat.

Even if you take the American meaning of the word button, i.e. what we in England call a badge, it's still not sharp. The needle on the back is sharp, but not the actual button, so why not say, 'sharp as a needle'?

If your craving for silly expressions is still not satisfied, then you can find more stupid sayings in my previous blog posts:
Five stupid sayings (part 1)
Five stupid sayings (part 2)
Five stupid sayings (part 3)
Five stupid sayings (part 4)