True or false quiz: Cool foreign words

For the benefit of any non-English speakers reading this blog post, perhaps a more accurate title for this quiz would be 'Cool non-English words' because of course, for example, if you're German then some of the words in this quiz, such as (spoiler alert) 'verschlimmbessern', aren't foreign words!

Anyway, this week it's time for another true or false quiz, and this time the subject of the quiz is 'cool words from other languages'. Take a look at some of the following 'foreign words' and see if you can work out whether they're real translations, or if they're just silly fabricated words that I made up!

Separated at birth.
A walnut and a brain.

1) Walnut = Brain nut

A cool translation that I really like is the Serbian word for walnut which translates literally as 'brain nut'. I've often thought that walnuts look like little miniature brains, and so apparently did the person who invented the Serbian language!

True or false?

We Come In Peace, and Other Short Stories

My latest book, 'We Come In Peace, and Other Short Stories' was published a few days ago, and as you might guess from the title, it features a collection of light-hearted science fiction themed short stories.

'We Come In Peace, and Other Short Stories'
The latest book from Charles Fudgemuffin.

To promote the book, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a quiz. Don't worry though, you don't need to have read the book to know the answers, as each question is based on the themes from each short story.

1) We Come In Peace

The opening and titular short story of the book features an alien who visits the leader of a planet, so to start things off, here's a question on the subject of aliens.

Three of the following types of alien themed insurance are just silly fictitious policies that I made up, but one of them is real! Which of the following types of insurance can you actually buy?

A) Alien Abduction Insurance
B) U.F.O. Collision Insurance
C) Alien Invasion Insurance
D) Interstellar Travel Insurance

Silly job titles (part 4)

Editor: "Charles, it's not silly jobs. It's silly job titles."
Charles: "Oops!"

There's an old joke which goes...

'I used to be a rubbish collector, but now I'm pretty good at it.'

Or for the benefit of any American readers, 'I used to be a garbage collector, but now I'm pretty good at it.'

However, thanks to the modern trend of inventing stupid pretentious names for jobs, nowadays the joke would go...

'I used to be a sanitation engineer, but now I'm pretty good at it.'

Not quite as funny if you ask me. Well, not unless you're into bizarre jokes which don't make sense.

Anyway, this week on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I'm once again highlighting pretentious modern job titles in the form of a quiz. Have a look at the following jobs, and see if you can work out what jobs they actually refer to.

Funny menus

If you're on a diet then look away now, because this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a selection of weird and strange menus from around the world.

Actually, on second thoughts, anyone on a diet can safely continue reading, because some of the following menus may actually put you off your food...

1) Toxic water

Presumably this was supposed to say 'tonic water'. Either that or they're trying to kill off all their customers.

Toxic water.

Star Wars memes

Next week sees the celebration of Star Wars Day, or May The Fourth Be With You Day, as some people call it, so in honour of the corporate Disney money-making machine, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features a round-up of Star Wars memes...

1) Food art

These noodles are a little chewie...

The Idiot Awards (part 3)

It's time for another batch of Idiot Awards! This week's winners include arts councils, survey creators, and to start things off a foolish journalist who has a strange concept of equality.

1) "Pioneers of gender equality"

Throughout history there have been many notable woman who have fought for women's rights such as Emmeline Pankhurst (founder of the Suffragette movement), and Alice Paul (who campaigned for the 19th Amendment). However, according to one journalist at The Economist, we should add the Aztecs to that list of notable women's rights activists.

What did the Aztecs do to further women's rights, I hear you ask? Well, they practised human sacrifice, and as 'pioneers of gender equality', they sacrificed not only men ... but woman as well!

Seriously, I'm not joking! Archaeologists discovered that the Aztecs sacrified both men and women and this journalists immediate reaction was, 'Wow! What pioneers of gender equality! They killed women as well! Great work for equal rights!'

Pioneers of gender equality.

It's no wonder the media are seen as a joke these days, and the journalist responsible for this idiotic report thoroughly deserves inclusion in this week's Idiot Awards.

Trivial emergency 999 calls (part 4)

I've highlighted before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog that some people seem to regard the 999 emergency number as a general enquiries number, and in some cases people are calling up for the most trivial of reasons.

"That's another dog for the naughty list..."

So once again it's time for another round-up of trivial emergency 999 calls* made by people who seem to have a strange idea of what constitutes an emergency...

* Or trivial 911 calls for the benefit of American readers.

1) Guilty dog (part 1)

"My dog has just destroyed my favourite stuffed toy."

What exactly did they want the police to do about it? Arrest the dog?