Trivial emergency 999 calls (part 4)

I've highlighted before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog that some people seem to regard the 999 emergency number as a general enquiries number, and in some cases people are calling up for the most trivial of reasons.

"That's another dog for the naughty list..."

So once again it's time for another round-up of trivial emergency 999 calls* made by people who seem to have a strange idea of what constitutes an emergency...

* Or trivial 911 calls for the benefit of American readers.

1) Guilty dog (part 1)

"My dog has just destroyed my favourite stuffed toy."

What exactly did they want the police to do about it? Arrest the dog?

2) "Fire, police, ambulance ... or matchmaking services?"

A lady named Lorna Dudash rang 911 to say that she would like to see the police officer that recently visited her house again. When the emergency call operator asked what the emergency was, Lorna explained that she didn't have an emergency. She just thought the police officer was cute and would like to see him again!

I'm pretty sure the 911 number isn't intended to be used as a dating hotline!

"Aw! But I had a bath last year!"

3) The customer is not always right (part 1)

"I bought some shampoo and it wasn't the right weight, and they won't return my money to me."

Firstly, this obviously isn't an emergency.

However, if a shoplifter stole from a supermarket, the police would investigate the theft, so would the same apply when a supermarket steals from a customer?

4) Guilty dog (part 2)

"I'm not happy. I've stepped in dog **** and I've ruined my trainers!"

Ha, ha! If I was the operator that took this call, a part of me would be annoyed that the caller was wasting my time with a trivial call, but a part of me would also want to laugh.

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving person!

Crimestoppers: Have you seen this seagull?

5) Avian larceny

"I'd like to report a theft..."

Sounds okay so far.

"...a seagull has stolen my chips."

Seriously!? A seagull has stolen your chips! What did they expect the operator to say!?

Operator: "Okay, could you give me a description of the offending seagull?"
Caller: "Er, well ... it had a beak, and feathers..."

6) Liar, Liar! Pants on fire!

This next example wasn't so much trivial, rather it was malicious.

One woman rang 999 to report that her neighbour was threatening people with a machete. However, rather foolishly, the woman forgot to hang up, and the operator heard her boasting to her friend that she was making the whole thing up to get her neighbour into trouble!

She was charged with wasting police time. Personally, I think anyone who falsely accuses someone of threatening people with a machete should face a far more serious charge than just wasting police time.

7) Wifi worries

Wifi, pictured yesterday.

"My dad has changed the wifi password, and I want the police to help me change it back."

I rely on the internet quite a lot, so I can relate to the stress of being without wifi. However, I don't think not knowing the wifi password quite ranks alongside for example callers reporting a fire, a heart attack victim, or other genuine emergencies!

8) Nosey neighbours

"I can see blue flashing lights outside and I want to know what is happening."

I don't know how the rest of the call went, but I imagine it went something like this...

Operator: "So you don't have an emergency?"
Caller: "No, I'm just nosey."

Please note, fish and chips are delicious, so this photo
is not at all related to the trivial emergcny call highlighted.

9) The customer is not always right (part 2)

"I've had a takeaway delivered but it's not very nice and they won't give me a refund."

Seriously, can you imagine how utterly out of touch with reality this person must have been to order a takeaway, not enjoy it, and then think, "Hmm, that wasn't very nice. What shall I do about it? I know! I'll ring the police!"

I mean, what sort of crazy person rings the police because you didn't enjoy your takeaway!

10) When parody becomes reality.

Finally, comedy can be a powerful way to raise important issues. On that theme, here's a joke from twitter, but sadly in the UK it's becoming closer to reality every year...

#priorities

You can find more trivial 'emergency' calls at the links below:
Trivial 999 emergency calls (part 1)
Trivial 999 emergency calls (part 2)
Trivial 999 emergency calls (part 3)

As a reminder, there are local numbers for when you need to contact the police and it's less urgent than an emergency.