Funny football quotes (part 7)

"Hooray!" The crowd celebrates the news that more funny
football quotes are to appear on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog.

Last weekend saw the end of arguably the most incredible season in the history of English football, so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog has a football theme, as I take a look at another batch of funny football quotes from footballers, managers and pundits, starting with an insightful piece of analysis from Phil Thompson...

1) “West Brom have won a few late points. Do those points help or hinder them? I think they help them.”
…Phil Thompson


2) “It's Ipswich 0 Liverpool 2, and if that's the way the score stays then you've got to fancy Liverpool to win.”
…Peter Jones


3) “The one thing that Cristiano Ronaldo has is pace, quick feet and a great eye for goal.”
…Chris Waddle (I think that's three things, Chris)

Koh Phangan: A silly 'true or false' quiz

The tropical island of Koh Phangan. It's okay, I suppose.

As anyone who's read 'True Or False: A Light-Hearted Collection Of 100 Facts And Bluffs' will know, I love 'true or false' quizzes. I also love travelling, so this week I've combined the two and compiled a 'true or false' quiz based on my recent holiday.  However, this quiz doesn't follow the standard format of...

'True Or False: Ulaanbaatar is the capital of Mongolia?'

Instead, this is a daft 'true or false' quiz about a few random insignificant things which happened while I was on holiday on Koh Phangan in Thailand.

None of the following events are world-shatteringly exciting, in fact they're all really minor incidents, but I found them a little weird, so have a read of the following happenings and see if you can guess which ones really happened and which are stories I've just made up.

Silly job titles (part 2)

A cover up?
Or 'Responsible discretion in the national interest..."

One of my favourite examples of official mumbo jumbo jargon, was in an old episode of the classic sitcom 'Yes, Prime Minister' when Sir Humphrey Appleby was describing a cover up. However, being a stereotypical civil servant, he didn't simply call it a cover up, and instead he referred to it as:

"Reponsible discretion exercised in the national interest to prevent unnecessary disclosure of eminently justifiable procedures in which untimely revelation would severely impair public confidence."

Or to put it simply ... a cover up!

More recently, the practise of using long winded mumbo jumbo to describe simple terms seems to have spread to the naming of job titles, and I featured a few of these silly job titles in a previous blog post.

Star Wars jokes (part 2)

Darth Tater

This Wednesday is officially Star Wars Day (May 4th). That means it's time for Yoda, Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader to take the spotlight, as in honour of a galaxy far far away, this week the Charles Darth Fudgemuffin blog features a round-up of Star Wars jokes...

1) What Did Darth Vader say when the music shop didn't have his favourite George Michael CD in stock?
"I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing."


2) Why is Yoda rubbish at telling jokes?
Says the punch line first, he does.


3) Why was Luke Skywalker a bad doctor?
The boy had no patients.

Book reviews (part 14)

It's time for another round-up of book reviews and this week I take a look at books from the genres of non-fiction, comedy, action and sci-fi.

A Brief History Of Time by Stephen Hawking

A Brief History Of Time by Stephen Hawking - 3.9 / 5.0

I found some parts of A Brief History Of Time fascinating, but on occasions there were a few sections that were a little less interesting. The enjoyable chapters were the sections where you could quickly read through it and the theories were all fairly straight forward and easy to take in, but there were also other more complicated chapters involving less conventional scenarios (in terms of everyday life), and this was when you had to concentrate a bit more and it felt more like doing homework.

That said, there were one or two sections where Stephen has overlooked some really obvious points, and I suspect it's a case of the 'emperor's new clothes' that no-one has pointed these out to him. Overall though, given the subject matter Stephen Hawking has written a reasonably entertaining book.

Funny things kids say (part 2)

More amusing comments by kids to bring
a smile to a green teddy bear's face.

Here are a few more funny kids' comments taken from facebook, twitter, and real life. Some comments include compliments, and some demonstrate inappropriate honesty. Credit/links are provided to the original tweeters (just for the ones from twitter, not for the ones from real life).

Once again, the names have been changed to protect the 'innocent'.

1) Truthful youth or youthful truth?

An adult would probably get criticised for making this first comment, but a 5 year old kid can get away with it...

"Daughter: 'Boys are dumber than girls. Everyone knows it!'
Parent: 'That's sexist.'
Daughter: 'Does sexist mean true?'"

Credit: @XplodingUnicorn

Most popular dog names

The most popular dog name is Bella, which is also
the name of one of my parents' dogs (pictured above).
Bella by name and Bella by nature.

Will we be saying goodbye to Fido, Rover and ... Sigmund? Read on to find out.

If you're a pet lover from the US then this coming Monday you get to celebrate National Pet Day! Or if you're from the UK then you get a full month to celebrate pets, as the entire month of April is National Pet Month!

UK pet lovers even get a couple of bonus days in May, as rather greedily, National Pet Month runs from 1st April to 2nd May!

On the theme of pets, MoneySuperMarket recently compiled a chart of the most popular dog names in the UK based on over 165,000 names submitted for pet insurance quotes, and the results were as follows...