Saturday, 7 November 2015

Funny Things Kids Say

Another collection of kid-isms...

Cuddly toys for 'cuddly' parents.
A few months ago I published the short story ‘Small Pots Also Have Ears’ which deals with the subject of kids making unintentionally amusing comments.  Sticking with the same theme, I thought that for this week’s blog post I would feature a collection of amusing comments by kids, taken from facebook and twitter (links to original tweeters provided).  The names have been changed to protect the innocent...

1) Cuddly parents

To start things off, here’s a status posted by a facebook friend with a very diplomatic daughter…

“My 8 year old daughter just said, “You know, some people think they are fat when they are really not ... they are just cuddly.  And you are the second most cuddly person I know!”

Ha, ha! That's the type of compliment that only a kid could get away with.

2) The Royal Baby

Here's a status from a facebook friend who’s a teacher...

“Question to year two class today...
Does anyone know the name of Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge's little boy?
Answer given: Baby Jesus”

3) Tactless honesty

This next facebook status demonstrates that sometimes kids can be inappropriately honest…

“Parked the car a bit wonky yesterday.  Jamie’s response, ‘Daddy, you've done a Mummy park.’”

4) A generous gift, and generous margins of error…

Next up is a photo posted on twitter by @Cheeseboy22, and it’s a photo of a card, and the accompanying gift, his 8 year old son gave to a friend at a birthday party...

I love the ‘something around there’ addendum but the whole message is absolute genius.  You have to say, it was a very generous gift, not to mention an even more generous margin of error when he was adding up his totals.

Here are a few more from twitter…

5) Important 'To Do' List

“When you go on vacation, it's important to remember to come home.” @peaceupdfal

You can’t argue with that!  Although having said that, I love holidays so much that personally I could quite happily ‘forget’ to come home.

6) My Christmas list…

“I wanted a sword from Japan five times but my mom said no.” @Dusty__Lee

What a cruel mom!

An ambulance ... er, I mean, an ice cream.
I'm always getting those two muddled up!

7) An easy mistake to make…

“Yay an ice cream truck!!!” Nope, that's an ambulance. #ThingsKidsSay #kidisms" @stenziepoo12

8) Not even the strongest person in the world can lift this.

“My toddler, holding both sides of her waist, ‘I can't pick myself up!’” @zerotofivebook

It seems that Isaac Newton wasn't the only one to discover gravity.

9) Musical concerns

This next one is from a friend of mine who has clearly raised his daughter well...

"Henrietta’s response to being told that we're taking them to the Latitude Festival this summer...
Henrietta: Are One Direction playing?
Me: No.
Henrietta: Phew!"

10) An honest book review

Finally, here's an unintentionally amusing book review tweeted by @272BookFaith written by her six year old daughter.  The book review captures just how much her daughter loves the book, and does so in a brilliantly child-like way:

"Get your hands off my book!"

As her mother commented, the review owes its inspiration to a misunderstanding regarding the availability of multiple copies, but if I was the book publisher I'd definitely consider using the book review in an advertising campaign with a slogan such as…

“The book one kid loved so much that she didn’t want to share it with anyone!”

I recently published the short story ‘Small Pots Also Have Ears’ which deals with the subject of kids making unintentionally amusing comments, and you can download it for free from Payhip, Smashwords and by direct download.  You can also read it online at Wattpad.

And you can find more amusing comments by kids at the following link:
The Wisdom Of Kids

1 comment:

  1. I love the things kids say ... so honest & funny & yes they can get away with it!


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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

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