Saturday, 23 May 2015

Funny Football Quotes (Part 6)

Nicknames, famous sayings and big furry heads...


Today's official attendance: 1
(Figures compiled by Paul Merson).
To round the football season off on a humorous note, here's a selection of funny football quotes from players, managers, pundits, and even one quote from a mascot...

1) “There’s only one person gets you sacked, and that’s the fans.”
...Paul Merson

2) "I have to be careful what I say about the ref.  He was absolutely appalling!" 
...Neil Lennon taking great care not to say anything bad about the ref.

3) "Don't ask me what a typical Brazilian is because I don't know what a typical Brazilian is.  But Romario was a typical Brazilian."
...Sir Bobby Robson

4) "Chris Porter scored his first league goal last week, and he's done the same this week."
...Jeff Stelling

5) The sight of opposing fans walking together down Wembley Way.  You won't get that anywhere other than Wembley."
...John Sillett

6) "Forest have now lost six matches without winning."
...David Coleman

7) "I don't mind Roy Keane making £60,000 a week.  I was making the same when I was playing.  The only difference was I was printing my own."
...Mickey Thomas, former Man United player and convicted counterfeiter.

8) "Sunderland edged the game by a long, long way for me."
...Kevin Keegan

Oldham's new centre forward...
...according to the linesman.
9) Interviewer: “So Gordon, any changes then?”
Gordon Strachan: “Naw, still 5ft 6″, ginger and a big nose.”

10) "Like so many of the current Chelsea team, Zola is unique."
...Barry Venison

11) "He had an eternity to play that ball, but he took too long over it."
...Martin Tyler

12) "The linesman flagged initally because he thought I was an Oldham player.  Fair enough, I did have a replica shirt on ... but I also have a big furry head."
...The Oldham mascot, Chaddy The Owl, is surprised to be given offside during a match.

13) "One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
...Alan Shearer

14) "Where did you get the nickname Dickie Dosh from?"
...Ray Stubbs speaking to Walsall manager 'Richard Money'.

15) "There's a famous saying, 'If you pass the square ball in your own defensive third it must not be intercepted.'"
...Graham Taylor quotes that 'famous' football saying.


Footballers are always coming out with funny comments, so I'll no doubt have another round-up of funny football quotes at some point in the future.

You can also find more funny football quotes at the links below:
Funny Football Quotes (Part 3)
Funny Football Quotes (Part 4)
Funny Football Quotes (Part 5)

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The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
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