Funny football quotes (part 5)

Football, the inspiration for numerous silly quotes.

A new season of the Premiership starts this weekend, and at the start of each new football season I traditionally feature a round-up of funny football quotes, so here's another batch of amusing quotes from footballers, managers and commentators that made me chuckle...

1) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
...Commentator David Acfield

Yes, slow motion tends to do that, David.


2) "I'm going to make a prediction... It could go either way."
...Ron Atkinson sticks his neck out.

3) "Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal."

...David Coleman cleverly avoids spoiling the match for viewers who haven't yet seen the result.

4) "In the end, Rosicky initially did well."
...Andy Townsend


5) Reporter: "So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?"
Gordon Strachan: "Mainly that big green area out there."


6) "The ageless Dennis Wise, now in his thirties."
...Martin Tyler


7) "Is John Motson still wearing his shepherdskin coat?"
...Bobby Gould

I think you mean 'sheep' skin, Bobby.


8) "They were numerically outnumbered."
...Garry Birtles

'Numerically' outnumbered? How else can you be outnumbered but numerically?


9) “They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck.”
...Sir Bobby Robson

Jimmy Greaves discusses the influences on his career.

10) Interviewer: "Who was the biggest influence on your career?"
Jimmy Greaves: "Vladimir Smirnoff."


11) "If we played like this every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent."
...Bryan Robson


12) "Without being too harsh on David, he cost us the match."
...Ian Wright


13) "I'm a firm believer if you score one goal, then the other team have to score two to win."
...Howard Wilkinson provides insightful analysis on the secret to winning a football match.


14) Finally, here's a quote from Gary Lineker which was especially appropriate at the recent World Cup:

"Football is a simple game. Twenty two men chase a ball for ninety minutes and at the end, the Germans win."

You can find more funny football quotes in the following creatively named blog posts:
Funny football quotes (part 10)
Funny football quotes (part 11)