No Smoking Day (Part 2)

It's No Smoking Day in a few day's time (March 10th, 2021), so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a light-hearted look at quitting smoking.

1) Grateful funeral home

To start things off, here's a clever advert from a funeral home...

"Thank you for smoking."

On second thoughts, actually it's not that clever after all, because Beckman-Williamson Funeral Homes are effectively tring to discourage new customers! Or at least postpone them.

10 Chinese code words to avoid censorship (part 2)

Unlike in Western countries **shifty eyes**, censorship in China is rampant, with the Chinese regime removing anything and everything from the internet if they think it might be even a tiny bit critical of their authoritarian actions.

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at c*de words
used to beat c***orship by the authoritarian Chinese gove***ent.

So to fight back, clever Chinese people have created an ever growing list of code words and phrases to get around the censorship. Here are a few more examples...

1) Sensitive porcelain = Censored words

In a move worthy of a scene from the movie Inception, even the phrase 'censored words' is censored by the Chinese regime! So to get around the censorship, Chinese internet users refer to censored words as 'sensitive porcelain'.

It may at first seem like a strange term, but the reason for this coded phrase is that the Chinese words for 'words' and 'porcelain' are homophones, i.e. they are pronounced the same, but they are written with different kanji symbols.

Trivial 999 emergency calls: A true or false quiz!

I've featured trivial 999* emergency calls before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and I've also featured true or false quizzes on the blog. However, this week is the first time that I've combined the two in a 'trivial 999 emergency calls' true or false quiz!

* Or 911 emergency calls for the benefit of our American readers.

Another batch of 'emergency' calls.

Take a read of the following trivial emergency calls and see if you can guess whether they're actual real calls made by foolish people, or whether I've just made them up. You can find the answers at the bottom of the quiz...

1) When I was a lad...

"What time are children allowed out until? Is there a specific time for them to come in?"

For the benefit of whoever made this 'emergency' call, please be aware that the emergency call line is not a substitute for Google! Or common sense, for that matter.

But was this an actual real call, or have I just made it up?

True or false?

Confusing perspective (part 2)

Photos with a confusing perspective have featured before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and this week they feature again. At first glance the following images are not quite what they seem...

1) Bananaconda

Imagine the shock you'd get if you grabbed this 'banana'!

Banana constrictor.

"Passssss me a banana, please."

On second thoughts, I'm not hungry after all.

Credit: reddit

Old words that are dying out

A few years ago one of my work colleagues was feeling annoyed with her doctor, so I told her about a clueless doctor I had once seen called Dr Burke. I joked, "Burke by name, berk by nature!" The girl I worked with was confused by my comment and it turned out she had never heard of the word 'berk'.

An old typewriter for typing old words.

For the benefit of anyone else who has never heard of the word 'berk' it means an idiot, but anyway I was shocked to discover that apparently berk is a word that some younger people have never heard of.

As it turns out, my former work colleague isn't the only one to have never heard of some older words. According to a survey by Perspectus Global, here are a few more words that people aged 18-30 have never heard of:

1) Balderdash (27%)

When I discovered that 27% of 18-30 year olds have never heard of the word balderdash, my first reaction was, 'That's balderdash!"

For the benefit of anyone in the 27%, balderdash means nonsense. It's not a word I've ever personally used myself, but I think it would be cool if more people used it, because it has an amusing ring to it. It's the sort of word that just makes you smile by the sheer ridiculousness of it.

Balderdash!

I tend to associate the word 'balderdash' with posh people, so maybe it's not just a generational thing as to why so many younger people have never heard of it.

Weird headlines (with a corona virus theme)

The corona virus produced a number of weird headlines during its peak. Here are some of the weirdest, and for every headline, I've provided a link for proof.

1) German cafe reopens but makes customers wear pool noodles on their heads

This one had me giggling away to myself at how utterly crazy it would be to sit in the cafe pretending everything's normal when everyone has got these stupid foam noodles on their heads!

If it was me, I would be laughing too much to eat my food. Judging by the people in the photo though, they seem to be fine with it.

I think it would be pretty cool to carry on this tradition once the corona virus is over, just for the pure comedy value of sitting in a cafe eating your food with brightly coloured foam noodles on your head!

Headline: German cafe makes customers wear pool noodles on their heads

Name fits job (part 2)

A topic I've featured before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog is the subject of aptronyms, and as regular Charles Fudgemuffin readers may remember, an aptronym is a 'name which is appropriate for its owner'.*

* Or if you're clever, you might have known that anyway, even if you don't read the Charles Fudgemuffin blog!

Anyway, there are many more people in the world who have names which fit their jobs, so here's another round-up of aptronyms...

"Say cheese fromage!"

1) Mr Fromage the French cheese maker

Bruno Fromage was the former Managing Director of Danone, a food company that makes cheese and other dairy products!

To make Mr Fromage's name even more appropriate, Danone are a French company!