* Or 911 emergency calls for the benefit of our American readers.
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| Another batch of 'emergency' calls. |
1) When I was a lad...
"What time are children allowed out until? Is there a specific time for them to come in?"
For the benefit of whoever made this 'emergency' call, please be aware that the emergency call line is not a substitute for Google! Or common sense, for that matter.
But was this an actual real call, or have I just made it up?
True or false?
 |
| Two drinks. Legal Note: These are not the two drinks in question, and are used purely for illustrative purposes. |
2) Two for the price of three!
"I've been to my local newsagents and I've bought two drinks and I've been short changed."
As annoying as being short changed would be, I don't think it quite qualifies as an emergency!
True or false?
3) Out of sprouts
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| "It's an emergency..." |
Personally, I would regard this as positive news, as I'm not fan of Brussels sprouts. However, if you're someone who enjoys Brussels sprouts, then surely the appropriate course of action is to buy your sprouts early, rather than wait until they're sold out and then ring the police to complain!
But was this an actual real call, or have I just made it up?
True or false?
 |
| Very small people find a creative use for a battery. |
4) Energy for sale
"Where can I buy some batteries?"
Apparently whoever made this call seems to think that the emergency number is for general shopping enquiries!
True or false?
5) Causing a commotion
"There is loud construction work at the bottom of my road. I've rang the company and they've told me they are finishing at 9:30pm tonight."
Noise pollution is indeed controlled by various laws, but it's not something the police would classify as an emergency, so once again this is another example of poor judgement from the caller.
But was it a real call?
True or false?
 |
| I'm a wasp, get me out of here! |
6) Sting in the tail
"A wasp is in my house and I don't know how to get it outside."
In actual fact an average of 62 people* die every year from wasp, hornet and bee stings in the United States, so if the caller had got stung first before ringing the emergency number, perhaps then their call would have been classified as an emergency!
* According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
True or false?
 |
| Perfectly cooked! |
7) Chicken dispute
"My Nando's chicken is undercooked. I'd like a police officer to come to the restaurant to sort it out."
I personally love Nando's food, and on the many occasions when I've bought a Nando's it's always been cooked perfectly. However, if I did ever receive a chicken which wasn't cooked to my liking, I certainly wouldn't call the police!
True or false?
8) We three kings...
"The carol singers are singing out of tune."
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| Rubbish! I'm calling the police! |
They should think themselves lucky they still get carol singers! We used to get lots of carol singers coming round our neighbourhood when I was young, but in recent years, sadly, carol singers seem to have become a thing of the past.
However, if there do happen to be any carol singers reading this, then make sure you don't visit the grumpy person above, otherwise they might call the police on you if your singing isn't up to scratch!
True or false?
- - - - - - - - - -
Scroll down the page to discover which of the previous examples were real calls, and which were just silly fabrications that I made up!
Answers:
 |
| Too late for kids to play out? |
1) When I was a lad...
"What time are children allowed out until? Is there a specific time for them to come in?"
True - As ridiculous as it sounds, this was actually a real call! Someone actually rang the emergency number to ask what time children were allowed to play out until!
2) Two for the price of three!
"I've been to my local newsagents and I've bought two drinks and I've been short changed."
True - Once again, this was another genuine call!
 |
| A sprout. Editor: "Charles, that's the wrong type of sprout!" Charles: "Oops, sorry! |
3) Out of sprouts
"There are no Brussels sprouts left in the shops."
False - If you thought this was a real call then unfortunately on this occasion you fell for my sneaky bluffery, because I just made it up! No-one actually rang the emergency number to complain that the shops were out of Brussels sprouts.*
* As far as I'm aware.
 |
| This light bulb didn't make the call, because it wasn't a real phone call! I just made it up! |
4) Keep going stronger longer
"Where can I buy some batteries?"
False - This is another example which came from the sneaky alcoves of my imagination.
5) Causing a commotion
"There is loud construction work at the bottom of my road. I've rang the company and they've told me they are finishing at 9:30pm tonight."
 |
| "Is your call related to batteries, wasps, or Nando's chicken?" |
6) Sting in the tail
"A wasp is in my house and I don't know how to get it outside."
True - On this occasion, both the call was true, and the statistics quoted were also true.
7) Chicken dispute
"My Nando's chicken is undercooked. I'd like a police officer to come to the restaurant to sort it out."
 |
| Tra la la la la, La la la la... |
8) We three kings...
"The carol singers are singing out of tune."
False - As amusing as this would be, sadly I just made it up. It wasn't a real call. It was just me being silly!
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You can find more trivial 999 emergency calls in my previous blog posts:
Trivial 999 emergency calls (part 1)
Trivial 999 emergency calls (part 2)
Trivial 999 emergency calls (part 3)
Legal disclaimer: Please note, the carol singers pictured in example 8 are probably really good singers in real life! The caption was merely intended to illustrate the stupidity of the highlighted call, which was fictitious in any case.
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