Guess the weird headline quiz

I've featured weird headlines before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and I've also featured quizzes. This week, however, I combine the two with a quiz about weird headlines.

For each question, I've removed a word (or words) from the headline, and you have to guess what the missing word (or words) is (or are). To give you a helping hand, each question is multiple choice, so you have four possible answers to choose from. And remember, each headline is weird, so the correct answer may not be what you expect.

"What do you call a yellow bird with a haircut who likes James Bond?"
"A shorn canary."

Please note, to make things trickier I have used a random number of stars for each censored word. (If the number of stars corresponded to the number of missing letters, you would be able to cheat and work out the correct answers!)

1) To start things off, here's a headline that will appeal to movie lovers.

"The name is Bond, James ****."

A) Bond
B) 007
C) The Cat
D) Rodriguez




2) Sadly, crime often provides an unwelcome source for news stories, and this next headline is no different. However, who are the criminals in question?

"Police apprehend ******* who keep sneaking into sushi restaurant."

A) Shoplifters
B) Burglars
C) Banned customers
D) Penguins




3) Driving lessons aren't generally something that would make the news, but as you can see from this next headline, there are always exceptions to the rule.

"Man allegedly teaching his **** to drive arrested after high speed chase."

A) Son
B) Wife
C) Daughter
D) Dog

Editor's note: "Charles, you've given the answer away with the photo!"
Charles: "Relax, it's just a red herring. The real answer is D."

4) Next up, we have a headline from India.

"****** ****** ****** leaves one man dead and 250 injured after going on rampage when his booze supply dried up."

A) Multiple serial killer
B) Dangerous escaped convict
C) Steam roller driver
D) Alcoholic killer monkey




5) Apparently, the Scottish government aren't having much success at tackling global warming, but what could be the reason for this?

"Scottish government's failure to meet carbon emission target blamed on ***** ******."
 
A) Faulty science
B) Communist propaganda
C) Budget cuts
D) Cold weather

Editor: "Charles, you've given the game away again!"
Charles: "Relax! It's another red herring. The correct answer is obviously banana."

6) Finally, to round things off, here's an unremarkable headline ... or is it?

"Woman seen walking ****** on lead."

A) Dog
B) Cat
C) Elephant
D) Banana

- - - - - - - - - -

Scroll down the page to reveal the answers...














Answers:

The name's Ken, Chicken."

1) "The name is Bond, James ****."

A) Bond
B) 007
C) The Cat
D) Rodriguez

The story was about the Colombian footballer James Rodriguez, and at first glance the headline makes no sense. However, once you discover that apparently his parents were big James Bond fans, and named him after James Bond ... the headline still makes no sense!

His surname isn't Bond, it's Rodriguez!




2) "Police apprehend ******* who keep sneaking into sushi restaurant."

A) Shoplifters
B) Burglars
C) Banned customers
D) Penguins

Surprisingly, the correct answer was penguins! Presumably, the restaurant must make extremely nice sushi if it meets with the approval of the local penguin population!

"What seems to be the problem, officer?"

3) "Man allegedly teaching his **** to drive arrested after high speed chase."

A) Son
B) Wife
C) Daughter
D) Dog

At first glance, it's a very bizarre headline, but then when you focus on the words 'dog' and 'high speed chase', it gets even more bizarre.

Did the dog see the police and think, 'Oh no! I haven't got a driver's licence! I'd better make a sharp exit before they arrest me!"?

Editor's note: "I think the more likely explanation is that the man was lying, and that in actual fact he was driving the car and he just blamed his dog."
Charles: "Yes, but that's not as funny."

Legal disclaimer: Please note, the monkey pictured above
is not the alcoholic killer monkey in question. He does
have a slight alcohol dependency problem admittedly,
but he has nevertheless never went on a killer rampage.

4) "****** ****** ****** leaves one man dead and 250 injured after going on rampage when his booze supply dried up."

A) Multiple serial killer
B) Dangerous escaped convict
C) Steam roller driver
D) Alcoholic killer monkey

Apparently, the alcoholic killer monkey's owner fed him hard liquor. When his owner died, this led to the monkey going on the rampage.




5) "Scottish government's failure to meet carbon emission target blamed on **** ****."
 
A) Faulty science
B) Communist propaganda
C) Budget cuts
D) Cold weather

So, we finally know what's causing global warming. Cold weather!

"Walkies!"

6) "Woman seen walking ****** on lead."

A) Dog
B) Cat
C) Elephant
D) Banana

Incredibly, the woman was taking her banana for a walk! Even bananas need exercise, apparently!

You can find more weird headline themed blog posts below:
Fake headlines quiz
Weird headlines (part 2)