Take a look at the following categories and see if you can spot which are the fake headlines:
Crime:
To start things off, this first batch of headlines are all based on the unfortunately common news theme of crime.
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| "Money well spent!" |
On first hearing this story, my reaction was, "There's no way that can possibly be true." However, before making your decision, I should add that the gullible dude lived in Iran where ridiculous superstitions are apparently more commonly believed than in the West.*
* With the exception of ****** ******* and ******* ******* obviously.
B) "Pub quiz cheats to face prison sentences of up to 6 years if Labour win the next general election, Keith Starmer announces."
With all the increasing real crimes in modern day Britain, it does seem a little bizarre to go after pub quiz cheats.
C) "'Everyone makes mistakes' says teen who karate-kicked 74 year old man into River Mersey."
I wonder if he'd be quite so relaxed if the judge 'mistakenly' gave him a fifty year prison sentence.
D) "A prisoner who briefly died argues that he's served his life sentence."
This sounds like a silly joke headline that someone might make up, but incredibly, the prisoner's case actually went to the Court Of Appeals in Iowa!
Which headline is fake?
Evil journalists:
We all know that journalists are evil, but just how low will they stoop? This next batch of headlines features a number of headlines which highlight that not only are journalists extremely evil, but they're also so out of touch with reality that they no longer feel the need to hide their evil from others.
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| A nuclear mushroom cloud. Evil journalists: "Hooray!" |
And also dead.
B) "War in the Congo has kept the planet cooler."
Over 6 milion people have died in the war, but on the positive side, at least it means thousands of old people are going to freeze to death this winter!
C) "Could a small nuclear war reverse global warming?"
Well, as long as it's just a small one. I mean, we wouldn't want a big one!
D) "Teenagers are dying of heart attacks: Here's why that's a good thing."
Sadly, this is an increasing trend with modern journalism. Not only are they promoting evil, but they're also telling you how to think.
Which headline is fake?
Silly:
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| "Hey, I've got a crazy idea." "What?" "Let's get married ... during our wedding!" |
A) "Couple gets married during wedding."
How is that even news? Do the reporters not understand how weddings work?
B) "Nigerian man dies and authorities find $27 million in his apartment. He had been unsuccessfully trying to give it away for 15 years prior to his death."
In related news, a wise Nigerian prince once said, "I think therefore I scam."
C) "Man wins competition to name Selby Leisure Centre and picks ... Selby Leisure Centre."
It seems like a waste of time even entering the competition if he was just going to go for such a boringly unremarkable name.
D) "37 stone man forced to pay for two seats on jet from Ireland. Finds they are rows apart."
What did the airline expect him to do? Cut himself in half?
Which headline is fake?
Overly dramatic:
This next set of headlines all feature stories which leave you thinking the headline writers have been somewhat overly dramatic.
A) "Mother, 37, cries tears of joy and describes it as 'the greatest day of her life' after Cadburys bring back Wispa bars."
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| Harrowing scenes, pictured yesterday. (Not to scale.) |
B) "Deranged hooligans have thrown chips on a car roof."
Not just hooligans, but 'deranged' hooligans!
C) "Fury after Morrisons wouldn't sell couple meat pies before 9am."
I would find it mildly annoying if some supermarket jobsworths wouldn't sell me meat pies in the morning, but surely to describe that frustration as 'fury' is a little bit disproportionate.
D) "Dad, 83, 'needs therapy' after paying £54 for fish and chips in London."
This is another one where I can sympathise with his frustration. However, 'needing therapy' has surely got to be an exagerration.
Which headline is fake?
Ukraine:
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| Blackpool Tower, pictured in Blackpool ... for the benefit of anyone with a poor sense of direction. |
A) "Couple demand refund for Blackpool gig 'because Ukraine war nakes it unsafe to travel from Hull.'"
I'm guessing Geography isn't their strong point.
B) "Couple who fled war in Ukraine decide to move back rather than live in Nottingham."
In Nottingham's defense, I went there once for a stag weekend, and it seemed okay to me. Put it this way, if you offered me the choice between living in Nottingham or a war zone, I know which one I'd choose!
C) "Here are six TikTok dances you can do to help Ukraine fight Russia."
To be fair, doctors and nurses danced on the internet to help beat the WuFlu, so presumably this works along similar lines?
D) "Russian cats are banned from international competitions."
I'm sure that will come as a big relief to the people of Ukraine!
Which headline is fake?
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Scroll down the page to discover which headlines were real, and which were fake...
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| Prisoner: "Bah! If only I hadn't cheated in that pub quiz!" Prisoner's lawyer: "Good news! You're being released!" Prisoner: "Excellent! On what grounds?" Prisoner's lawyer: "On the grounds that it was a made up headline." Prisoner: "Phew! That's a relief!" |
The fake headlines were as follows:
Crime:
B) "Pub quiz cheats to face prison sentences of up to 6 years if Labour win the next general election, Keith Starmer announces."
Thankfully, pub quiz cheats won't face the threat of prison. This was actually a silly headline posted by @FakeShowbizNews on twitter.
Evil journalists:
D) "Teenagers are dying of heart attacks: Here's why that's a good thing."
Teenagers are dying of heart attacks at increasing rates. However, it's not a good thing. It's a bad thing.
Although that's just my opinion. I don't want to tell you how to think. Maybe you're also evil and therefore share the opinion of evil journalists. Make your own mind up.
Silly:
B) "Nigerian man dies and authorities find $27 million in his apartment. He had been unsuccessfully trying to give it away for 15 years prior to his death."
This would be incredibly silly if it was true, but it's not. It's just made up! The actual figure was of course $35 million.
Overly dramatic:
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| "Have you heard the latest Wispa?" |
I'm sure there were a lot of happy people when Cadburys brought back Wispa chocolate bars, but as far as I'm aware, no-one described it as the greatest day of their lives.
Ukraine:
C) "Here are six TikTok dances you can do to help Ukraine fight Russia."
Sadly, dancing on the internet has as much affect on ending war as it does on protecting people from the WuFlu.
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How did you do?
4-5 Congratulations. You're an expert at detecting fake headlines.
2-3 Not bad, but there's room for improvement. Try spending less time watching the BBC, and other similar propaganda outlets.
0-1 You are officially clueless at spotting fake headlines. You list your ******** in your social media profile, you still proudly post that you *** *** ******* two years after everyone else had realized that it was all a government scam to make money for *** ******, and you also have the ******* **** in your profile photo.
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If you want to verify the headlines featured above then I'm afraid you'll have to either trust me, or look them up yourself, because I'm not going to support evil legacy media journalists by linking to the stories.
Related posts:
Weird headlines (with a corona virus theme)
Weird headlines (part 2)
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