The Idiot Awards (part 3)

It's time for another batch of Idiot Awards! This week's winners include arts councils, survey creators, and to start things off a foolish journalist who has a strange concept of equality.

1) "Pioneers of gender equality"

Throughout history there have been many notable woman who have fought for women's rights such as Emmeline Pankhurst (founder of the Suffragette movement), and Alice Paul (who campaigned for the 19th Amendment). However, according to one journalist at The Economist, we should add the Aztecs to that list of notable women's rights activists.

What did the Aztecs do to further women's rights, I hear you ask? Well, they practised human sacrifice, and as 'pioneers of gender equality', they sacrificed not only men ... but woman as well!

Seriously, I'm not joking! Archaeologists discovered that the Aztecs sacrified both men and women and this journalists immediate reaction was, 'Wow! What pioneers of gender equality! They killed women as well! Great work for equal rights!'

Pioneers of gender equality.

It's no wonder the media are seen as a joke these days, and the journalist responsible for this idiotic report thoroughly deserves inclusion in this week's Idiot Awards.

Trivial emergency 999 calls (part 4)

I've highlighted before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog that some people seem to regard the 999 emergency number as a general enquiries number, and in some cases people are calling up for the most trivial of reasons.

"That's another dog for the naughty list..."

So once again it's time for another round-up of trivial emergency 999 calls* made by people who seem to have a strange idea of what constitutes an emergency...

* Or trivial 911 calls for the benefit of American readers.

1) Guilty dog (part 1)

"My dog has just destroyed my favourite stuffed toy."

What exactly did they want the police to do about it? Arrest the dog?

Corona virus memes

During testing times it's more important than ever to keep a smile on your face. As someone once said, "The world is full of horrible things. Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say, 'Not today.'"

So with that in mind, here are a selection of corona virus themed memes, jokes and observations which brought a smile to my face at a time when the world certainly needs smiles...

1) Take no chances!

One brave person is generously offering to save people from the risk of infection via cash...

"Warning! Your cash may be infected!"

We all have to do our bit, so if anyone else is worried about the risk of infection from handling their cash, feel free to send it my way!

Name fits job

This week on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I take a look at a few examples where people's names seemed particularly suited to their jobs.

Believe it or not, there is actually a word to describe a name that seems appropriate for its owner, and that word is 'aptronym'. So without further ado, read on to discover a collection of aptronyms!

1) Mr Skidmore the speedway rider

Skidmore by name, skid more by nature.

Hugh Skidmore was a speedway rider who drove for Sheffield Tigers!

Can you imagine the conversation when he first met the manager of Sheffield Tigers?

Sheffield Tigers manager: "Hugh Skidmore?"
Hugh: "No, I'm a very good rider. I hardly skid at all!"

In actual fact, as fans of motorcycle speedway will know, speedway bikes have only one gear and no brakes, so riders do have to slide (or skid) around the corners!