Silly job titles (part 3)

"Would you like me to facilitate ketchup
on your mobile sustenance?"

I've mentioned before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog that modern society seems to have an increasing obsession for replacing straight forward traditional job titles with fancy long-winded descriptions.

I was reminded of this the other morning when I noticed a van parked outside our neighbours' house with the slogan...

'Height Safety Solutions'

Or in other words...

'Scaffolding'

On the face of it, 'height safety solutions' would seem a logical, if unnecessarily wordy, way to describe scaffolding.  However, surely the safest way to achieve height safety is to stay on the ground!

Anyway, once again it's time for another quiz based on confusing job titles, so see if you can guess what jobs the following list of jargon actually refers to. To start you off, the first job title may be familiar*...

* Unless you're a goldfish.

1) Height Safety Solutions Design Engineer

2) Mobile Sustenance Facilitator

3) Mass Production Engineer

4) Internal Communications Co-Ordinator

"Whose turn is it to use their 'gastronomical
hygiene techniques' on the dishes?

5) Gastronomical Hygiene Technician

6) Co-Ordinator Of Interpretive Teaching

7) Wet Leisure Assistant

8) Worldwide Asset Financial Analyst

9) Sanitation Consultant

And finally, one lady on a TV quiz show described herself as a...

10) Domestic Technician

Scroll down the page for the answers...














Answers:

1) Height Safety Solutions Design Engineer - Scaffolding Worker

"Hi, I'm looking for a height safety solution, please."
"Certainly. Just stay on the ground. That will be £500, thanks."

2) Mobile Sustenance Facilitator – Burger Van Worker

3) Mass Production Engineer – Factory Worker

4) Internal Communications Co-Ordinator - Person who hands out the faxes

For hygiene reasons, it's recommended that you
sanitationally consult your toilet at least once a week.

5) Gastronomical Hygiene Technician - Dish Washer

6) Co-Ordinator Of Interpretive Teaching - Museum Tour Guide

7) Wet Leisure Assistant - Lifeguard

8) Worldwide Asset Financial Analyst - Accountant

9) Sanitation Consultant – Toilet Cleaner

10) Domestic Technician – Housewife

- - - - - - - - - -

With regard to the final job title, it's kind of sad how the modern world has tricked families into somehow thinking that staying at home to care for your children is somehow less important than working for a global corporation 35 hours per week, when the reality is that families and children and infinitely more important than global corporations.

Anyway, respect to number 10, because whatever you called her, she hadn't fallen for the lies of the modern world.

You can find even more silly job titles below:
Silly job titles (part 1)
Silly job titles (part 2)

And you can find silly jobs below. Caution: May not be real jobs.
Graffiti Artist Humiliation Officer
Reputation Attenuator

* The term 'may not be' should be taken to mean 'definitely aren't'.